The Girl Who Lost Her Smile MN FF Last Ch Pg 30

Chapter 1

The hospital was cold. The lights around me felt eerie and the smell had me shivering.
I couldn't stand to be there.
But I had to. I couldn't leave.

The hospital bed on which he was laying, looked uncomfortable under his weak body.
I wished that I could place him on a soft bed of clouds or cotton, but this was the best thing the hospital could offer. The best thing they could offer for my injured Armaan.

The constant beepings from all the machines that helped him stay alive was the only thing I could hear.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Over and over again.
I had gotten used to the sound, but I still couldn't keep myself from thinking:
What if the beeping stopped?

I leaned closer to him and caressed his cheek. He was sleeping so calmly by my side.
His chest moved up and down, mist forming on the inside of the oxygen mask.
I pulled my fingers through his hair, not only to comfort him, but to comfort myself also.
I kept telling myself that soon, I would be able to tease him about his hair in the mornings, make silly hairdos on him or just pull my fingers through his hair, while he looked at me.

Like we used to.

It seemed like time had stopped since the accident, since Armaan was brutaly abused.
Punched, kicked, hit with iron pipes, bats.
And I had seen the whole thing...
We didn't know where they came from. All I know is that Armaan was now laying here...
Because of me.

I lifted his hand and pressed it against my warm cheek.
I told myself that it was my cheek that was warm ' not his hand that was cold.
A tear rolled down my cheek as I waited for him to say something, or even feel a twitch coming from his hand.
But the only thing that twitched, was my lower lip.

I tried to block my mind from thoughts of a life without him.
A life without his laughter, hugs and voice, but they kept slipping through my protection walls.
I had known him all my life. He was the only one who understood me. Everything about me.
Everything about my past.
A life without him would be... impossible.

I hugged his hand tighter and looked at his face.
So calm, so peaceful. He had no idea how much pain I was going through.
How could he just lie there, having me worry this much?
Did he not notice the sad creature, helplessly hugging his hand?

The beeping kept ringing in my ear.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Over and over again. Same thing.
I placed his hand over my heart, to let him feel mine beating with his, let him know that I was there.
Soon he would wake up. I didn't care what the doctors had said.
Soon... he would look at me with his brown eyes. Soon.

I knew that I was lying to myself.

I closed my eyes, still holding his hand in mine, in a nonbreaking, firm grip.
I couldn't let him leave me.
Even if I would have to hold on to his hand forever, I couldn't let him leave me.
I was helpless without him.

I couldn't keep myself from thinking back on all the things we had been through together.
Love, hate, fights, laughs.
I saw his smiling face before me, waving goodbye.

Then I suddenly heard that long, loud beep ringing in my ears.
A breathless cry passed through my lips.

Armaan Shergill was gone...
___________________________________________________________

So the story begins ^^

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The flowers were white. The ones I placed on his grave that day; Six months after his death.
I kneeled down and stared at the tombstone, imagining his face infront of me.
"Today it's been six months Armaan, did you know that?"
I brushed my hair behind my ears and placed my hands on my knees.
"I had a dream about you last night. I dreamed that you walked towards me on a dark street, out of the fog."
I laughed to myself.
"So typical of you to make everything dramatical."

I stood up, brushed the dirt off my clothes and took one last look at the name engraved on the stone:
Armaan Malik, beloved son and friend.
I turned around and walked away.
----------

The days had melted together ever since that terrible night.
I had tried to live normally without him; my friend, my love, my guardian, but it was tough.
I had became a stranger to any other feeling than guilt and sorrow. I couldn't remember anything else.
I had shielded myself from the outside world.
I didn't have any friends.

Somehow, shielding myself from everyone kept me from reliving that terrible feeling of happiness. I knew I didn't deserve it.
How could I possibly live happily when I had caused my loved one's death?
I heard the whisperings in the corridors at college. Everyone knew.
Or atleast they though that they did.
I could feel their glares in my neck when I passed by, their curious eyes.
Staring at the girl who never smiled.
Me.

I placed my bag next to my desk and sat down on the chair, like always, staring out through the window.
I heard my dear classmates whispering about me again, but I never payed them any attention.
I would let them speculate until their brains come out of their ears. They still wouldn't understand.
I turned even more towards the window, staring at a mountain in the distance.

When class started I didn't even bother to look at our teacher. I guess she had gotten used to my abscent eyes by now.
She kept talking. Meaningless words, which I couldn't care less about.
I just kept staring at that mountain, far away. My mind drifting off to a better place.
A place where Armaan still existed.

"We have a new student here today, please introduce yourself."

Curiosity got the best of me and I turned my head towards the front for once.
The boy standing next to the teacher looked just like every other student at this college; Well mannered, and smiling like an idiot.
I frowned and turned my head towards the window again. He was one of them.

"Hello, my name is Mayank Sharma. Nice to meet you all."

"Okay Mayank, you can take a seat next to... Nupur over there."

The room was suddenly filled with scrapings from chairs and I knew that everyone in class had turned around to look at me.
I knew why. The desk next to me used to belong to Armaan, my Armaan. No one had dared to sit on that spot for six months.
But I guess that guy didn't pick up on the others terrified faces, because he walked over to the desk and sat down next to me.
As he sat down he folded his hands infront of him and rested them on the desk.
I licked my lips and glanced a little at him, then turned my attention back to the mountain again.

When class ended, that guy, Mayank, appearantly got the impression that I found him interesting, because he suddenly started introducing himself.
"Hello," he said and reached his hand towards me. "I'm Mayank, I hope we'll get along well as desk-partners."
I looked at his hand for a moment, then walked past him without even giving him as much as a glance.

At lunchtime I always sat at the same spot: underneath the tree at the back of the building.
People had learned that this was my place. Our place. Armaan's and mine.
Therefore no one ever dared to even get close to the tree.
The bench I was sitting on was full of carvings me and Armaan had made.
"Nupur and Armaan, best friends."
"Nupur is better than Armaan."
"Nupur is so wrong, Armaan rules the world."
"Armaan will always be there for Nupur..."
"Until the end of time..."

I chewed frantically on an apple, trying to keep myself from looking down at them.
Tears was the last thing I wanted to shed.

"Hello, Nupur."
I stopped chewing and looked up. Sitting down next to me was that guy again. That Mayank.
I felt anger rising inside of me and I glared at his smiling face.
"Why are you sitting here all alone?" he asked.
I bit my jaws together and stared intensively at the wall infront of us. He must be stupid.
Seriously brain-dead.

"Wow, look at all these carvings! Oh, your name is everywhere Nupur."
I threw the apple into my bag and closed it.
"But who is this Armaan guy... Is he your boyfriend?"
I stood up, threw the bag onto my back and marched away from him.
I tried to turn that aching hurt inside of me into anger and fury.

Because tears was the last thing I wanted to shed.

Awwww........so sad.......Btw, can you write this in AN version? Its such a nice story!

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