Fun Land Season II - Update Pg 1

VEER & KAMEENI
COMPLAN - HORLICKS

Kameeni: Veer, mein tumhari maa hoon. Mujhe aise ghusse mein
ghoorna mat. Achcha nahi hoga. Samjhe. Aur chup chap ghar chalo.

Veer: Maa, aap bachpan se, mujhe complan pilatey aaye hai.
Aaj mera height 6'2 hai, uska wajah complan hi hai.
But complan concentrated only on my height.
Ayesha ne mujhe realize karwaya hai ki, mere brain cells
kaam nahi kar rahe hai. Ab Ayesha ne mujhe horlicks
aur bournvita ++ pilana shuru kiya.
Ab mein samajh sakta hoon ki kaun achcha hai aur kaun bura.
Mujhe jaane deejiye ab. Please. Ayesha aur Nihal
mere intzaar karte honge. Bye..

Kameeni: 🤢

VEER: THE ANTI MUMMA BOY

Kameeni: Theek hai veer. Ab toh tumhe woh ayesha hi mujhse jzyada
mayine rakhti hai na. Par ek aakhri sawal veer. Yeh tumhare haathon mein papers kya hai ?

Veer: Haan maa. Ayesha aur nihal hi mere sab kuch hai.
Yeh Do and Don't papers hai. Mere aur Nihal ke liye.
Good maaners bhi hai iss papers mein.
Ayesha ne khud banaya. Aur nihal ne uska help kiya beech mein.
Mein inko pad ke aur intelligent banna chahta hoon.
Logon ko pehchanne mein aur ek achche anti mumma boy banne mein.

🤣

VEER'S CUSTODY
goes to ayesha, the most kabil

Veer: Ayesha.. Tum ne mujh se waada kiya.
Ki tum mujhe inn teen villans se bachaogi.
Phir mujhe kyun bahar nahi leke jaa rahi ho ?
yeh dekho.. Jeeju ke expressions..
Kitna daravni lag rahe hai..
Mujhe bohot dar lag raha hai..

Ayesha: Veer, tum ab chote bachchon ke tarah
zidd mat karo. Sab baithe hai yahan par aur yeh court hai.
Hotel nahi. Ki tum jaise chaho waise behave karo.
Dekho, jab mujhe woh judge bulayenge,
mein nihal ke custody ke saath saath,
tumhare liye bhi lad ke aaongi.
Ab chup chap baitho. Agar mujhe ghussa
aaya toh, phir tumhe kal se brain activation
lessons nahi milenge.


🤣

DEVIL SE BACHAO
ek dusre ko ghoorne ka kaam baad mein bhi ho sakta hai

Nihal: Areeey.. Kitne baar kehna hai. Mujhe aise choom ke
pareshaan mat karo. Aur please yeh make up kam karo.
Subah tere chehre dekhenge toh, neend mein bure sapne aatey hai.

Massi.. Chachu.. Mujhe please isse bachayiye...
Jab dekho, ek dusre ko dekh te rehte ho.
Mera bhi thoda sa parwa keejiye na.. Bachayiye mujhe..

🤣

AB MUJHE ATTENTION CHAHIYE
warna mujhe rakhi sawant ka chota bhai banna padega

Nihal: Oh my god.. Arey aap dono yahan par bhi shuru ho gaye ?
😒 massi, chachu, aaj mera birthday hai.. aur aap dono, mujhe
nahi.. balki ek dusre ko attention de rahe ho. yeh kya hai ?

🤣

AAP VEERU CANT DANCE SAALA NAHI HO
prove keejiye please..

Nihal: Oh no chachu.. Not again.. Aap maasi ko dekhte dekhte,
dance mein concentrate nahi kar rahe hai. aap ko, iss step ke liye,
aur bend kar ke mere haath ko clap karna hai.. and mein haathon ko
milane ke liye aur koshish nahi kar paoonga. dard aa raha hai haathon mein.

🤣

PLAN REBOUNCE

Khattu: Oye gochu avinash.. Sab tumhare upar bharosa kar rahe
hai.. Aur tum unko dhoka de rahe ho. Buddhu Kahin ka.
Tum mere upar bharosa kar rahe ho.. Aur mein ab tumhe
dhoka de raha hoon.. Tum hi toh kehte the na, ki mujh se seekho
mujh se seekho.. Ab poora seek liya. Tum unn par plan launch karo,
mein wahi plan rebounce kar ke tere upar launch karoonga. 👏 🤣

KHATTU KI DHULAYI !!

Avinash: Arey veer, ayesha, aap dono aise moo mudke kyun khade ho ?

Ayesha: Dekhiye na avinash ji.. Veer nihal ko bed time stories mein
mere shortness ke baare mein keh raha hai aur ab maine poocha toh,
ab bhi waisa mere saam ne hi mera mazaak uda raha hai.. 😒

Khattu enters the scene.. Trying to do some overaction...

Khattu: (Butting in): Vaise, Ayesha, tumhare height to sach mein kam hai.
Dekho, sab se tum hi chote lag rahe ho.. Sach hi toh keh raha hai veer sir aap ne.
Ayesha aise bhote aur bohot funny bhi lagti hai na..

Veer gets angry at this because, ayesha is his best friend
and it was just their stupid silly fight and now,
people are involving in it to make it complicated.
Even before he reacts, ayesha replies...

Ayesha: Tu jaa.. Kabab mein haddi.. Mere se thoda door reh. Samjhe.

Khattu: 😲

Khattu: Mein ek wakeel hoon.. Aur mujh se aise baatein koi nahi karta 😎

Ayesha: Tu waqueel ho to kya, Santa ho toh kya, Hotel ke scavenger ho toh kya,
mujhe tum se kuch nahi sunna. Hum baat kar rahe hai.. Tu beech mein kyun aaya ? 😡

Khattu: Dekha avinash ji aap ne.. Yeh ladki kiss tarah ki baatein kar rahi hai ?

Avinash: Oh.. Mmm.. Sorry.. Mujhe ab jaana hai.. Bye veer.. ayesha..

Ayesha: Kabhie dekha apne aap ke shakal ko,
grumpy dog lagte ho.. So ugly.. Apne aap ko hero
samajhte ho. Naa tum apne kaam theek tarah se karte ho..
na kuch aur.. Aur tum valentines party mein
horrible lag rahe the.. pehle apne aap ko
dekho, phir logon ke baare mein kaho..

waise, aap ko toh theek se chalna bhi nahi aata na sahab..
yaad hai, santa ban ke acting karte hue waqt, kaisa gir gaya ?

tum pehle se jocker hi ho beta..
yeh santa vanta tujhe suit nahi karta..
aage se apne signature style hi maintain karna..
log tujh pe originally hi haste hai..
action ki zaroorat nahi hai beta..

Khattu: (Forgets everything and remembers only the last lines)
Thanks ayesha.. Mujhe realize karwane ke liye..
Aaj se, mein koi acting nahi karoonga.. Kapeesh... (Promise)

Veer, whose brain cells are now, kind of partially activated thinks about
poor performance of Khattu's brain cell's response and laughs..

🤣

TIME PASS KARTEY HAI YAARA !

PLEASE IMAGINE THAT, VEER AND AYESHA ARE BEHIND THE BARS
AND VEER IS USING HIS CELL PHONE WHEN NO ONE IS THERE...

Ayesha: Yeh kya hai veer.. Phone tumhare paas kaise aaya ? Unhonne collect kiya na abhi ?

Veer: Woh, mujhe nahi dena tha.. Toh nahi diya..

Ayesha: Please veer.. Yeh andhar rakho.. Kya karne jaa rahe ho tum ?

Veer: Areeey.. Phone baj raha hai ayesha..

Veer: Hello..

Sim Company: Ji hum ABC company se phone kar rahe hai,
for a marketing purpose. Aaj kal aap ka phone bill bohot kam aa raha hai
aur usage bhi kam ho gaya hai.. Kya aap reason batayenge please ?

Veer: (gets irritated at such a stupid call) Woh kya hai na,
mein aur mere dost kuch personal reasons ke wajah se,
mumbai ke jail pohonch gaye. aur yahan jailers
bohot strict hai bhai.. baat theek tarah se karne nahi dete..
toh obviously usage kam toh hoga na..

Tum fikar mat karo.. Do teen dinon mein,
hum release ho jayenge.. Phir bohot saare baatein karoonga..

Ab thoda sa company do na..
Baatein karte hai.. Bohot bore ho raha hoon yahan.. 😡

Company: Nahi sir nahi.. sorry for the disturbance.. 😲

🤣

CHOTA SA HELP PLEASE

Avinash: Pammi.. Woh kya hai na.. Ab power of attorney ayesha ke paas..
Mere pocket mein paise bhi kam hai.. Kya tum ayesha ko recommend karogi,
ki mujhe bhi woh 1st of march ko thoda sa paise de de.. please..

🤣

EK NAYA PLAN
Avinash: Khatwani, saare addresses mil gaye na ?

Khattu: Sir, mil toh gaye hai.. Par hum mandhir ke addresses ke
saath kya karenge ? Aur bikhariyon ka list kyun poocha ?

Avinash: Khatwani, dimaag ke batti jalao.
ab toh poore property haath se nikal gayi hai..
mujhe apne future ki parwa hai.. mein bass planing kar raha hoon..

Dekho, kal agar hum ghar ke bahar ho gaye,
kissi na kissi mandir ke saam ne bikhari ka job
toh karna hi padega na.. Issiliye maine tumhare saath
popular spots aur competition levels
dhoondne ke liye beja hai..
ab mera bheja mat fry karo.. please..

🤣

MATHEMATICS KI KAMI ?

Avinash: Aur kitne der uss account ko tally kar ne keliye
koshish karoge veer ? Mujhe toh neendh aa rahi hai..

Veer: Jeeju, jab taq yeh account tally nahi hoga, tab taq hum nahi jaayenge.
ayesha ne kahan ki, woh aa ke humare liye tally karegi.. so, lets wait for her..

Avinash: (thinking) Oh my god.. Ayesha aayegi toh, poore jhoot
pakad legi aur mera bang bhi baj jaayega..
Kissi na kissi tarah ab veer ko yahan se bhagaana hai..
Yaar.. yeh ayesha ne toh jeena muskil kar diya yaar...

🤣

well guys, some of them are not jokes but just scenes.
thought of including the ideas to have some fun..

RAAZ KYA HAI ?

Kameeni: Arey, nandini, kya hua beta ? Ro kyun rahi ho ?

Nandini: Kuch nahi mumma.. Bunty mujhe sata raha hai.
Achche tarah se, kuch bhi yaad nahi rakhta..
Marks are like 0 in all the subjects..

Kameeni: Nihal beta, please mera madad karo..
aaj kal tumhari maachi 😉 (fatima's idea) chachu ko kuch
pila rahi hai na, woh kya hai beta ? mujhe batao na..
deko, mein tumhare liye gift bhi laayi hoon.. 😃

Nihal: Woh na daadi, chachu aaj kal
bournvita + + pee rahe hai.. Uss mein
nature aur science, donon ki gun hai..
aur usse dimaag aur tez ho ayega..

🤣

GEHRI SOCH !!

Aasmaan hai neela kyun ? Paani geela geela kyun ?
Gol kyun hai zameen ? Silk mein hai narmi kyun ?
Aag mein hai garmi kyun ? Do aur do paanch kyun nahi ?

Veer itna bhuddu kyun ? Ghussa usko aata kyun ?
Usko hosh kyun nahi aataaaaaaa ?

Socha hai ? Kya kabhie ?

Nihal: Oh massi.. woh sab unka nature hai.. Aise hi rehte hai..
koi unn cheezon ko, yaa chachu ko badal nahi payenge.. you see..

🤣

YEH NAACHNA KYA HAI ?

Nihal: Massi !! Yeh chachu aise funnily ghar pe skating
kyun practice kar rahe hai ?

Ayesha: Pata nahi nihal.. Maine kal galti se,
raj ko kahan ki, woh skating bohot achche karta hai..
aur lagta hai, aap ke chachu ko inferiority complex aa gaya..

all of a sudden..

DHAB...

Nihal: Oh my god.. Chachu toh gir gaye.. !!
Oh my god.. Unke sar pe moch aagaya..

Ayesha: Chalo help kartey hai.. Hell.. Ab mere poore
daily lessons waste ho jaayenge.. Agar inke sar ko kuch hua toh..

CAKE MILEYGA KYA ?

Khattu: Arey waah.. Yahan par to party chal raha hai..
wow.. jald hi jald avinash ji ko jaa ke batana hai ki, lunch khareed ne
ki zaroorat nahi hai.. Waise, party mein free cake aur lunch joh milenge !!

HEIGHT NAHI CAPACITY ZAROORI HAI

Ayesha: Oye veer.. mere height ka mazaak udhate ho na..
chalo.. ab dekhte hai ki, kaun jzyada juice peeyenge..

COMPETITION KAHIN KA..

Veer: (thinking) Yeh raj bhi na, galat time par har jagah pohonch jaata..
competition kahin ka. kitne baar ishaara dena hai, ki ayesha sirf meri hai..
ab isse pehle ayesha usko dekh ke, hey raj oye raj karein,
isko leke kahin bahar bhaag jaata hoon.. 😡
dikhata hoon ki, VEER VARDHAN SINGH kya cheez hai..

AUR KITNE BAAR CHANGE KARNA HAI ?

Ayesha: Aur kitne baar change karna hai veer ? Mujhe toh kuch samajh nahi aa raha..

Veer: Nahi Ayesha.. Tumhe apne hair style badal ne ki zaroorat hai.. Warna,
woh murderer tumhe pehchan le ga.. Aur agar tumhe koi problem hua toh.. No Way !!

Ayesha: Par hair style change karne se kya faida ? Hair style badalne se
kuch nahi hone walah hai.. Aap samajh ne ki koshish kyun nahi kar rahein hain ?

Veer: Lagta hai Ayesha.. Tum ne Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi Nahi dekha..
Uss mein jab shahrukh mooch pehenta hai, uske khud ki beewi usko nahi pehchanti..
Ab tumhe samajh aagaya na mera sara planning ?

Ayesha: Yeh bhi koi plan hai ? Oh no.. Grow up veer.. Woh movie hai..
Aur yeh reality hai.. Pata nahi... Kahan kahan se leke aatey ho ideas ko..
Aaj se tumhare liye TV time cut. No more TV for you.. Aur woh facebook se
apne face nikal kar, thoda book mein rakho.. Warna, brain completely 0 hojayega.

🤣

CUCHICOOOING ?

Avinash: Arey Nihal.. Tum yahan akele baith ke kya kar rahe ho..
Tumhare Massi aur Machi [fatima's ideas] kahan hai ?


Nihal: Ab mein aap logon ko kya bataoon bua.. Yeh mere Chachu aur Machi joh hai na,
jahan dekho shuru ho jaatey hai.. Woh dekhiye.. Uss corner par.. Unko hosh bhi nahi hai..
Yeh ek school hai, parents day hai.. Sab log unko dekh rahe hai..
Par yeh log toh cuchicoo kar rahe hai..
Maine galti se chachu ko kahan ki, Be A Man..
Ab toh chachu kuch aisa hi ban gaye hai !!

Chodiye.. Bachchon ko aise cheezein dekhna nahi chahiye
naa unn ke baare mein baat karna chahiye.. Mein yahan hi theek hoon..

🤣

BUNTY KE GF's KAHAN HAI ?

Avinash: Arey bhai. Nihal ko toh ek nahi.. do nahi.. balki teen girl friends hai..
Mere bunty ko toh koi dekh bhi nahi rahe hai.. Yeh khud sab ko ghoor raha hai..
Ab se hi baat yahin hai toh, mujhe iss baat par future planning abhi se shuru karna hoga.

Mujhe ab yeh bekaar ki office ke kaam se dhyaan hataa kar,
nihal se regular habits par dhyaan dena hoga.. Abhi se shuru karoonga..

Plan - Bunty ko girl friend banaa ne ki kaabil karo LAUNCH !!


🤣

YEH TUMHARE LIYE MINNIE..

Minnie: Arey waah khattu.. Yeh toh bohot cute hai.. Kahan se leke aa rahe ho ?

Khattu: Woh kya hai na minnie.. Bohot lamba kahaani hai.. Ab power joh ayesha
ke paas hai, issiliye mein ayesha ke fovour ho gaya hoon.. Aur mein unko ice kar ne keliye
unn ke saath, unke assistant ban ke ghoom raha tha.. You see, unko ek important death ceremony
mein jaana pada... Aur jaise maine uss lash ke upar phoolon ko dekha,
tum hi tum yaad aayi.. Bass. Right side ko dekha.. Left ghumaya apne sar ko..
Jab mujhe laga ki koi nahi dekh rahe hai, Phoone ko laash se uta liya...

Other ppl around [thinking] EWWW.. Ekk...

Minnie: Sachchi khattu ? Aww mere jaan.. Hum dono toh bilkul ek jaise hai..
Mujhe bhi agar koi bhi cheez muft mein aayega, bohot passand aata hai..
Aur iss phool ko mein poore pyaar se leloongi.. Haaye !!

🤣