Definition of love(AR ff) part 19-- pg #70 (last) - Page 34

Originally posted by: Sani_Rani

when r u gonna update?

Hello! everyone... here's the next part.. if u like it pls comment or press the like button if u don't.... welll they don't have unlike button 😆 anyways jus wanted to say thanks a lot for all ur support n this is dedicated to all of u mainly who commented n clicked the like button 😳 so without much delay here's the next part..

oh one more thing all the parts till now are posted on pg. 1 n the flashbacks are in green (some might be close to green), diary entry in silver... again thanks a lot n if u have any questions or confusion u can let me know in the comment section n i will get back to as soon as possible..

tc 😃

Part 12

July, 2004

I don't know what to write. I never thought anything like this would ever happen to me. I used to think falling in love with that special person would be the most wonderful thing in the world but I didn't know that falling in love with the person who hates you, would be this painful that neither can you laugh nor can you cry.

I went to the mall yesterday with Nikki. We have become close friends. She is more like a sister to me. I used to think all the Americans are same. I used to think that nothing matters to them except for themselves but friends like Glen, Nikki, and Abhi proved me wrong. They were all there for me for my support when I was left alone.

Atul bhai, Anji di, and Rahul bhai are all busy in their own world. I don't know if Muskaan di even remembers me or not. I guess people change with time. "Ridhzi no matter how far we are, we will be close to each other. Whenever you need a friend I'll always be there for you." These were the exact words that I heard from Muskaan di's lips when I saw her last at the farewell ceremony for 2001 seniors.

Even though everyone was busy I used to think I have you as a friend to company me, Armaan. I don't know when you became more than a friend. Maybe it was bound to happen. Maybe happiness is a word not written in my life's book.

Yesterday, I was waiting for Nikki outside the shop when I saw you and Brian coming towards me. I didn't want you to see me so I turned around and faced my back towards you. I felt someone hugging me from back. I froze but then realized it was Siddharth.

Siddharth has been a great friend. In fact, he is my new best friend. I like him but not as much as you. I smiled and facing him, hugged him back. I didn't know that Siddharth calling me Ridhima had grabbed your attention and you were facing me. I saw a different kind of fire in your eyes. I don't know what it was. It reflected pain but at the same time anger.

Our eyes met. It is said that when two people are connected to each other by heart then they don't need any language to say their feelings because their eyes say it all. I don't know what to make out of the emotions that I saw in your eyes.

I ignored it and breaking out of the hug, I smiled at Siddharth. Nikki came after sometime. I looked around for Armaan but he was nowhere in sight. After that we walked around the mall looking for dresses for the prom night and graduation. I didn't have enough money but Nikki paid for me. I told her no but Nikki is Nikki, she would never listen to me. Anyways she paid for my dresses but I made her promise that when I return her money back she will take it.

All the time, I could feel someone's eyes on me but just ignored it. Later only, I came to know that those eyes belonged to you, Armaan. I was looking around when I felt someone's hand on my waist. Suddenly, I was pulled inside a white trail room.

(She remembered their conversation in the trail room.)

Flashback

She was about to yell when the person closed her mouth. Their eyes met.

Armaan: It's me. Don't scream.

Ridhima: (removing his hand from her mouth and then waist) I know. What do you want?
Armaan: Huh! Oh Attitude! Listen Missy, show your attitude to someone else.

She looked right at his eyes with a questioning look.

Armaan: Don't think that your innocent face and your act of not knowing anything will work on me. Oh come on Ridhima, we all know what you want.

She waits for him to continue.

Armaan: Fine! I'll come to the point. Stay away from Nikki and Abhi.

Ridhima: (Moving one step towards him) And why's that? Oh let me guess. Nikki is Abhi's girlfriend and Abhi, your best friend. You think that I am close to Nikki because she's got all the money. Isn't that what you think Mr. Mallik?

Armaan: You've grown intelligent. Good! You got the point. Stay away from them. You know what stay away from Siddharth and Glen as well. They are really nice people and I don't want you ruining their life.

Ridhima: Are you trying to say, I ruined your life?

Armaan: whatever' (rolling his eyes)

Ridhima: Aakhir tum aapne aap ko samajhte kya ho? Hamesa kuch bhi kehdete ho. Bina soche kuch bhi karte ho kuch bhi bolte ho. Mujhe bas tum itna bataao maine kya bigara hai tumhara? Huh?

Armaan: Huh???

Ridhima: (pointing her finger towards him) dekho tum ye natak mat karo. Kya huh?

Armaan: what?

Ridhima: Armaan!!

Armaan: I don't know what you saying.

Hitting her forehead thinks, "Hey bagwaan kaha fas gayi. Kyase bool gayi ki agrezi babu ko to hindi aati hi nahi. "

Ridhima: ullu ka pattha! Nothing leave it Armaan.

Armaan: No tell me.

Ridhima: I said leave it.

Armaan: But I wanna know now.

Ridhima: OK! Fine! Listen. They are my only friends. I know you're not gonna believe me but I truly love them. I don't care what you say or think. No matter how hard you try to hurt me, I am never gonna be hurt. You know why? Because I've faced so much pain in my life that your simple words won't do anything. I have only little emotions left. Please don't take that away too. I am the one who decides if I wanna stay with them or not. They are the people who were there for me when you busy trying to teach me "lesson". So, you don't have any right to say anything about me, when you don't know me well enough. You are nobody to me. NOBODY!

She was about walk when her hair got stuck in Armaan's chain. She tried to get it out but at last giving up, waited for Armaan to take it out.

She just wanted to get out of there, as it was getting unbearable being in the same room with him. He came little closer to her, looking directly into her eyes. Breaking the eye ' lock, he slowly freed her hair from his chain. She was about to leave when he held her wrist and brought her close to him by her waist.

Armaan: Before you leave, listen to this. (Bringing his face closer to hers and looking right into her eyes) Even you are nobody to me! I don't care! I don't even care if you die! It's true that I had started to more than like you. In other words I had started to love you, but I guess you don't have that word in your dictionary.

Ridhima: (with tears in her eyes and bringing her face closer to Armaan's) I wish you could understand me. I wish you could understand the meaning of love. You don't know what it means while that word is in the first page of my life's dictionary. I have always loved my loved ones whereas you have always hated them.

She lightly kissed Armaan on his lips and without waiting for his reaction left from there.

End of Flashback

I don't know why but when our eyes met, I felt like you were hiding something from me. I just wanted to feel your lips on mine for first and last time, so that it becomes yours just like my soul. No matter how much you hate me, I will always love you because love is unselfish. It doesn't ask for anything. My love for you is true and pure, so I don't ask you to love me back.

I have decided to leave you forever once high school gets over. I will leave this house and walk out of your life forever. Anyways, that's what you always wanted and I don't want to make your life worse.

I was sad but contented when I started this diary, and today also, I am having the same feeling. I have learned great lessons from the people around me. I have learned the meaning of love. Even though it doesn't have an exact definition, I have the ability to make people understand what it truly means. I have decided that I will live the rest of my life, sharing this knowledge, helping others come out of that pain.

Maybe Armaan was right the word like love is not in my life. Today, I stop my pen which has been running in these pages for past few months. This is not the end of my story but a beginning of my new life as a different personality, where despite of sharing love with everyone else and defining the true meaning of it to them, I will have no place for it in my own life.

She closed the diary and went towards her window from where she could see the balcony. Feeling the soft breeze hit her face, she closed her eyes as a drop of tear made its way from her eyes.

---------------------------------------------------------

He looked outside the window. It was dark and quiet.. His eyes were red and reflected the pain he was going through. He closed his eyes as his conversation with Atul started to play around his mind.

Flashback

Armaan: Why don't you get it bhai? She is not what she looks like. She is fooling you around.

Atul: Please Armaan I don't want to talk about it again. Didn't I make myself clear to you that Ridhima is not like that?

Armaan: You don't know her bhai!

Atul: Oh so you are telling me, you know her more than me.

Armaan: Ok maybe you know her more than me but you have got to know, she is playing game with you. I bet her family is with her'.

Atul: Stop it Armaan! (Calming himself down) Look Armaan, you know nothing about her past. And what made you think that she is playing game with me?

Armaan: It doesn't matter how I knew her playing game with you, but what's the real truth.

Atul: (Folding his arms) and what's that?

Armaan: Okay so I heard it from her own mouth. I was passing by her room when I heard her talk to someone. She was saying that she has found a guy named Atul, who has fallen into her trap and she's gonna get everything from him.

Atul: What? When did you listen to her saying this?

Armaan: I don't remember but maybe it was 2 months before but why does it matter anyway?!

Atul: Because it does you stupid! She was talking to me and just on that basis, you blamed her as a money digger? You disgust me Armaan. I never thought my brother can think this low about someone like Ridhima. And what you talking about her family? She doesn't have any family except me. Her brother committed suicide and her mom and dad died, and that's the reason we shifted to USA.

Armaan was in great shock. Armaan eyes were wide open and slowly wet with the salty river of tears.

Armaan: (holding his head in his hand) Oh god! What have I done!

Atul: What happened Armaan? Did you say something wrong to her or did you do anything to her?

Armaan: I'm sorry Atul bhai, I didn't know.

Atul: But what did you do? (Getting impatient)

Armaan: First, I made her fall for me. Then, in the senior trip I insulted her in front of the whole group. She loved me all this time and I always spat on her face, telling her how much I hated her. And now'.

Atul: Now? What else did you do?

Armaan: I told her to go away from my life. I told her that she ruined my life.

Atul: What? Are you serious? What in the world made you say that? You know how sensitive she is? She might have taken you seriously and' what if she is planning to do just like Jay...... No I can't lose Ridhima too. I cannot.....

He was about to run towards Ridhima's room when he saw her standing there. He couldn't explain how relieved he felt at that time.

Ridhima: What happened Atul bhai? Why you looking at me like this? (moving her hand in front of him) Hello! I am not a ghost you know.

The confusion written on her face told him that she hadn't heard anything

Atul got tears in his eyes and took her into a huge bear hug. Ridhima was confused but hugged him back. As she saw Armaan sitting on the floor with red eyes, she got worried and getting out of the hug, went towards Armaan who seeing her coming towards him, turned his face other direction, not wanting to face her. The guilt was killing him.

Ridhima got sad thinking Armaan still hates her. With teary eyes, facing her back to Atul she says, " Bhai, main sone jati hu." Atul just nods his head.

Once Ridhima is gone, Atul starts to walk when suddenly Armaan calls him, "Bhai, I'm sorry. I didn't know."

Atul: Just do me a favor Armaan, STAY AWAY FROM HER!!!!

End of flashback.

How he wished he could talk to her. How he wished he could tell her how sorry he was and how much truly, he loved her, but alas, his wishes were to remain just wishes which couldn't be fulfilled.

Armaan: Ridhima, I'm sorry. I know I have lost you forever. I am sorry Ridhima. You were already hurt and I added more salt to that wound. Please forgive me Ridhima.

Both were unaware of their future. Their path was separating to different directions. Pain, Love, Happiness, these abstract nouns were still present in their heart but their life's door was closed for these emotions forever.

Originally posted by: kashishk

Hey Kirti,
You know I just love your FF but I just hope Armaan.
I know once he'll know the truth he'll be guilty no doubt but I hope that he'll realize soon as Ridhima has already suffered a lot.
So now please please please continue super soon as I can't wait for the next and thanks a ton for the PMs :D

Luv u<333
Kashish

Originally posted by: Sani_Rani

bbz i'll edit in the morning kk

Originally posted by: arluver15

it was very nice part
thanks for the pm
nruti