Its New Year!She sat before the giant sea, watching the waves rise and fall.Its silence was peaceful, but there was a thunderstorm inside the heart...Yeah, it was new year's eve again!
"and like today...we'll always be together, on this very beach, walking hand-in-hand ...and when the new year will begin, you'll be in my arms!Wouldn't it be a perfect start for a perfect year?..."
He wasn't with her, neither at the beach, nor in life.They had parted their ways, some three months back but her heart, seemed to have been taken away by him.She had moved on, but her heart hadn't!...She was shattered from within.
As his memories flooded inside her heart and mind, tears crawled down those rosy, but pale cheeks.It was hard, living without him...without listening to his sweet nothings, his rantings and ramblings with her, his dimples being flashed without any occassion, without the warm hug and the secure feeling, which he supplied her, whenever she needed it...his cute confessions...perhaps, without him!...
Maybe, they were not meant for each other or rather, God had decided something else for them...Whatever it was, it was hard for her to come to terms with the break-up.Though, she'd projected herself to be" totally cool with this breakup thing", her heart knew, it wasn't "cool" at all.Only her inner self knew, how she used to keep awake till wee hours of morning, trying to get some sleep, trying to erase his memories from her heart, how gruesome it was, to keep looking at the cell phone to hear it buzzing aloud with "Armaan calling" or as a matter of fact, to recieve, one SMS, be it an empty screen....
Wiping her tears, she glanced at her wrist watch, just 10 more seconds to go...She didn't know why, her heart did somersaults...she was craving for him now...she was desperate for him .though her mind knew, he had left but her heart believed, he'll come back, even after those bleak three months, those hard words and those pathetic accusations, they had targetted at each other...
"Happy New Year Basket..."The voice behind her, made her heart stop for a few seconds.
"No..I'm...I'm imagining again..."She wiped the rapid tears flowing her eyes now...
"You're not basket!...I'm here..."He repeated, looking at her, standing with closed eyes...
"Hug me then....prove your presence..."She cried, with eyes still closed.
"I love you Basket..."He whispered, taking her into a tight embrace...
"I love you too Armaan...I lo..love you..."she held him tight, lest he may escape, being a reverie of hers!
"Happy new year Basket...I promise, not to leave you alone, ever again...!Will you be mine?..."He kissed her eyes, wiping away the tears..
"Yes I will..."
There was no place for words after that.He took her in arms, placed her lips on hers and gently took away her pain, the agony of parting from her soul.They stood together, till eternity, amidst the fireworks in the sky!...It was indeed, perfect beginning, of a perfect year....!................................................................................................................................................................................
My Guardian AngelFood was perhaps the first and the last thing, I and my father never bickered upon. We used to scream our guts out at each other on almost every thing of the world -be it my grades, my subjects, my habits, choice of books,money shopping or my boyfriend-Armaan! We both had our own ways, wide away from each other.But food, used to glue us together.I completely trused his taste and kitchen was the only place where we actually enjoyed our time together cooking new dishes, discovering new recepies!
Armaan-my boyfriend, was one of the major reasons why I and Dad used to argue. An argument on him used to spring up every week regarding him, we'd have a heated debate which would end with Dad's warning and my open defiance to it.
Armaan, on the other side, always tried to gel up the distance between me and Dad.He'd encourage me to open up to him, to share my life and feelings with him.I still remember our 5th date, which, according to me was the most boring one, as all the time, he lectured me about me being the eldest lady of the house and how I should take care of Dad and my 10-year old sister, Mini'
Each time he tried to make peace between Dad and me, I used to get irritated and ended up saying'"You are as bad a preacher as the Church Parson'"to which he used to reply'"One day you'll realize the value of your Dad'"and the day, unfortunately came sooner that I could've thought'
Armaan and Principal Gupta walked towards the Library, where I was completing an assignment, wearing grim faces, imparting a feeling that something was wrong, very wrong..
"Riddhima'your father's ill'you must immediately leave for City Hospital'Armaan's taking you'"He had a sympathetic look, which scared me more'
"Ar'maan?'"I looked at him, as he picked up my books and stuff and then held my hand.
"Hurry up'your Dad needs you'"He was avoiding an eye contact, I noticed..
"He'll be fine'"He rubbed my back and I just stood there, bemused'
I sat besides my unconscious Dad, holding his hand. He had been suffering from lung Cancer since last two years. He had had 17 Chemotherapies and 12 Radiotherapies. I had heard him throwing up at the middle of the night after his Chemo , I had myself brought a hat to cover his bald after he lost his hair, I had sat besides him, wide awake till morning, when he had fever, or felt weak at all those times'His Doctor hadn't said anything worrying but I knew, I was going to lose him'forever'
"I love you Dad'"I said, holding his hand'Mini was being handled by Armaan, who had always been his favorite'
"Me too'"
"Me too'"
"Me too'"
Those words echoed again and again inside my heart'That was the last I heard from him'My fears came true as I lost him'I didn't know what to do or say'Even tears didn't find way down my eyes'Kissing his hand, I came out to Armaan and his mom, Dr. Ananya, who were consoling Mini'
"He left me'"I went to Armaan, who was shocked hearing me'
His Mom ran inside Dad's room, but I didn't cry'Armaan hugged me tight, crying silently, but I didn't cry'I couldn't cry'
Days passed in grave silence'everyday I rummaged across the house, in hope to find a note by ad for me'His last words "me too'" sounded too hollow and distant'It wasn't enough for me'I wanted to talk to him ..It was so strange'I never opened up ever, before him, and when I wanted to, he had already left'
Every night, Armaan came for Dinner, lest I and Mini would feel lonely'I served him and Mini and quietly, left for my room'I seldom talked to anyone, or came out of my room'I had heard Mini groaning when she knocked my room, and I lied aloud '"I'm busy'"
I couldn't look into her eyes for the fear of breaking down before her'I had responsibilities over my shoulders'I asked her to take care of herself'and when she felt alone, she just called Armaan, who willingly helped him in any way, he could'
Two weeks later, I used our savings to get Mini admitted to a boarding school while I went to Ohio, for a PhD in medicine.I thought life would give me a second chance if I forget my past, but in an attempt to suppress my past, I began losing myself'None of my "college friends" knew about me being an orphan. I had busied myself with studies.I studied till I slept'Whenever, a friend will ask me to accompany her to call her home, I'd make a lame excuse.
It was like the more air breathed, the more I gasped'Armaan, was still in India, pursuing his MBBS. Every night he used to call me and assure me, that he was just a phone call away from me but I just replied harshly in monosyllables'
Then, one day, the entire college came to know about my "orphan" status and they all began sympathizing with me, or rather, pitying me'They'd often say "sorry" at the mention of word "dad" or "mom" before me to which, I irritatedly replied'"Its not your fault.."
Things went more complex when eating made me feel guilty 'It made me think "your Dad died because of you and you are merrily eating?'"I stopped eating and began having dizzy spells due to weakness'When I had to eat for survival, I found out a new way of escaping my guilt. After every meal, I poked a finger down my throat and puke everything out'Soon, it became a habit and I no longer needed to poke my fingers down there'I involuntarily threw up'It became a routine..Then, I realized where I was heading'I was going to die..
I called Armaan and for the first time, cried after Dad's death'I sobbed for hours on the phone'I told him what I felt, did and thought'He hung up the phone saying'"I 'm reaching Ohio by the next flight'I'll be there tomorrow morning'."His voice was shaky'
He kept his promise and I ran into him, hugging him like maniacs, crying my heart and soul out'He was my God at the moment'He let me cling onto him, for the entire day and then, we talked'
He explained my condition'He said'"Listen Riddhima'its Bulimia, you are suffering from'you've already got yourself into a big mess in my absence and I won't let you continue with it'you're a fighter and you'll have to fight off everything that obstructs you from reaching your happiness'Its you, who can make a change'it's got to be you'but yeah, I'll always be there besides you'and you know what..?All these years, you've been trying hard to rub off your past 'which is wrong! You don't need to fight or forget your past, you need to live with it'"
The very next day, he took me away to his place India'I came to know, he had left his last exams to be with me, and hence, wasted his entire year, but he had no regrets'His Mom treated me at home and took me to hospital along with her, whenever things went more complex'But I had strength inside me now, that I would be able to make it'I had my angel, Armaan with me'
8 years have passed since the day he brought me back to India'and now, days are as beautiful and sunny as they ever used to be. Mini has joined Armaan as his intern in Sanjeevani and Ananya Mom is now, the MD of the hospital. Armaan and I are expecting our first baby after 2 months and he's totally over the moon'
"RIDDHIMA'You haven't had your medicines yet na'??'Wait I'm coming to spank you'"He yelled from the dinning room, downstairs.
"Oops'!!I've got to go and have my antenatal tablets quickly otherwise, I'll be getting a good amount of scolding'.Run Riddhima'.!!!"Keeping her diary aside, she stepped out of the study table...!Edited by Sonalihutifan - 15 years ago
Mahadev And Sons
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