Weaver's Den =) *updt 12/15* Pg 9

spln thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#1

(thanks Maliha aka SomethingUnique for the lovely banner siggie!)

Hey everyone!

This is a matter of convenience for the lazy bum i am! Its painful to have to hunt down my own links every now and then, and i decided  at last (have been thinking of this so long, just never got down to it) to have a single thread that contains all one shots (vignettes), short stories that I have written on FF in here, plus the links to all my longer fictions.

Every time i write a short thing, i shall update it here and pm this link, it will be a convenient thread to browse through for readers, i suppose, as much.

NOTE: This is 'not' an exclusive AR/DMG thread

ps: i name it so from my nutter tag - cause i sat to give it a longer thought, then gave up to lack of ideas 😆 and calling it Weaver's Den sort of appeals to me - its a nice li'l self flattering grand name 😆

so long,
nj 😳



LIST OF SS/OS posted on this thread
ps: I shall star the ones I personally recommend over the others. Purely a matter of author's discretion, even as reader stats may stand in variation.

At Dawn [AR] Pg1
Of Favors Exchanged [Samrat/Nupur] Pg1
⭐️ Guns 'n' Roses [AK -short story] Pg1
⭐️ Never Gone [original characters] Pg2
Ecoutez Moi, Love! [Abhi-Nikki short story] Pg5
⭐️ Leaves Out of Our Diaries (DMG character POVs)...Pg9




Edited by spln - 13 years ago

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Posted: 14 years ago
#2


Perfect Imperfection: Love (COMPLETE)
My first fan fiction writing ever. Its Armaan Ridhima centered, DMG based, a fiction of the usual big brat never-fall-in-love career driven law grad Armaan, who is going to fall in love with a rich subdued 'not-daddy' girl who is anything but confident to speak up for herself, and is an LSA major ... many characters of DMG that were present at the time of writing this fic - april '08 - are in here . Other wise, its not something I'm proud of in terms of writing style or even pattern . But people do read it here and there, occasionally like it, and most importantly, it was a 23 chapter thing I completed in under a week - SO proud of myself 😆
Still, in all fairness, I'd anti-recommend this one unless you're a ceaseless romantic, who can deal with average (even below) writing!

Back to Newton's Laws #1 (COMPLETE)
My second fic - also DMG based, but double the chapter size (46) is about an indian student Ridhima, pursuing masters in the US, where she meets, obviously 😆 ,our hero boy Armaan C. Malik (the C. factor is surprise for those who have not read the fiction yet 😆 cause it is vital to his identity) The fiction came as a consequence of my own masters in the US, but was a far drift from my life, lol! I had hoped to make it as real as things get, and I suppose to some extent I succeeded, towards the end I messed up with some villainous characters. Over all, I think Newton's has fetched me the most TRP's that any fiction by me could - so I can say, a majority of readers end up liking this one ... its close to me for only one reason, a bond i formed writing this one =)
As for people who are half as picky about quality of language/writing style/fluency of plot as I can tend to be more often than not - pass this for now... In my own opinion, I've definitely written better stuff than this - even if 'TRPs' indicate otherwise 😆

Back to Newton's Laws #2 (COMPLETE)  thread 2 of the same

Back to Newton's Laws #3 (COMPLETE)  thread three

Unleashing What Remained Unsaid #1 (COMPLETE)
This is by far my personal favorite. Another AR based fiction, with most characters of DMG thrown in, a serious tale which switches off the common sense of romance to delve into the characters heads. Its about Armaan and Ridhima who meet after 6 years in Chicago when Armaan is married, and Ridhima, who has been heart broken for all those years that he remained mysteriously absconding from her life meets him with his wife for a business matter ... its a journey of the two coming to acceptance within themselves, and later to each other and finally before everyone else, of their feelings which had always been. If you enjoy reading deep characterizations and can handle lack of cheesy romance almost throughout the story, its thumbs up from me (i did say its my personal fav didn't i 😆)

Unleashing What Remained Unsaid #2 (COMPLETE)   thread 2

Love Necessitates Itself
(COMPLETE)

This is an RM fic (Rahul Muskaan from DMG) there are no other DMG characters, and names other than Rahul Muskaan are completely my own. A more fun filled fiction, with some serious turns here and there, but majorly true to the characters of Rahul and Muskaan from DMG, as I saw them (which is not quite what the CVs made out of them 😕) Rahul is a single parent to a little boy Adi, and when he moves homes, Adi happens to become a student to the cheerful single Elementary school teacher, Muskaan Chaddha! ... fun frolic and tons of fights,  lots of cheesy romance i daresay ... most way throughit, I enjoyed writing this story, even though it no masterpiece, not ever close!

Adolescence of Love (IN PROGRESS)
This is a work in progress ( a rather sluggish progress, many will agree 😆) but instead of any lengthy note here, I'm gona post the Youtube Link for a promo Roz was so prompt about making for me (hugs for that Roz) 

AoL promo Youtube Link - by Roz/howabtnow

Just Another East Side Story  (COMPLETE)
Improvising Jane Austen's Emma, Maaneet style, while blending in the Indian adaptation Aisha every now and again. Short story (3chapters), of how Miss I-know-all-about-matchmaking finally acknowledges her blunder, and her love for the man who has been her longtime critic, guide, friend - and secret lover, in the span of one eventful evening.

I
nitially intended for a Geet forum filmy writing contest, but I never managed to finish the piece within time and word limit constrains. So it never really became a contesting entry.
In accordance with the competition that prompted it however, it is based of movie themes - primarily BBC adaptation of Jane Austen's novel Emma, and its Indian version Aisha - the characters however still retain many traits completely unique to them from the show itself. I was on a trip to Kolkata, when my travel exploits gave me the idea for this short piece.

A Humble Beginning  (IN PROGRESS)
This is a short story on the lesser exploited characters of Tere Liye (Kekta's new show). I'm not a kekta fan for good measure, but since this show brought back Rajat Tokas (an actor i really enjoyed watching in biographic show Prithvi Raj Chauhan and later in historic drama Dharam Veer) i caught up with the storyline of it. Unfortunately, the CVs are being stingy with giving RT's track a role, despite him being a parallel second lead to Harshad Chopra. This SS is my version of what the entire Robindo-Mauli-Taposh track could be like. So, unlike my usual writing, the characters ketch comes right out of the show. Its just my way to vindicate these second leads 😆 Can't say how much one would care reading it if you're not following the show, cause it makes subtle references at many points, but if you're watching it, this is good time to click the link above for my story 😳😆

Of Disruptions & Conformity
(IN PROGRESS)

My second writing on Maaneet, intended as a short story but currently a suspended project.

Edited by spln - 13 years ago
spln thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#3
PS: yeh, starting with my 'drive 'em humans miles away' lectures this time cause the i was told i must... and also cause the one who instructed me hence is the one who actually led to the writing of this piece!

... to you, nijaL :)... an ode (belated) to us, and the wonderful day we spent...

just this random yet another night conversation, where she told me i had to do an AR exclusive piece at least one time with NO ONE ELSE... i told her it wont happen... on second thoughts just maybe, a one shot... i can't do nothing with just those two, right??? (just fyi nij, when you said you saw other names before even reading the one shot i was already in half minds concluding i would be licked for yet another NOT exclusive AR :D thankfully... na-uh!)

anyways, then Madz with her fab summer love contest had the thread up, and i can't think of another time after perfect imperfection when i wrote something so swiftly in just a go with nothing to look back at and edit... at least for time 1... i did edit some tit bits before finally sumitting it to the contest :D ... and posting the draft exactly as it was on the contest thread here now, for all those who may have missed it there and might just be interested to give it a read anyways (yeh yeh, my optimism with silent readers is impossible to snub :D ... )

finally, if someone reading this stuff is not drugged to a slumber, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for all the votes and love... i wont say i was trying any harder than usual to make it sound anything unlike me, even hough the whole set up of the scene isn't my usual... but somehow i didn't think SO many of you would guess it in the blinking of an eye :) lovya all, you guys make writing worth all its effort!!

for my record, and for keepsake - the preeeety siggie i won for the contest!



hugz and much love,
nj :)



~ At Dawn~


"...Morning!..." he spoke, a husky whisper which tickled her ear.

Even though the whole process of respiration, she knew, without the basics of her profession, worked itself higher up in the chest, had she not with him experienced unbelievable anatomy exceptions? Like right now, when her breath hitched somewhere in the pit of her stomach as his arms snug around her waist from behind and she felt the distinctly chiseled lines of his bare torso, against the soft veil of cotton she had slipped on before sliding off the bed.

He inhaled deeply into her hair, his grip becoming comfortably tight in the process, and felt her relax her back upon his chest after the first few seconds. And smiled. And both of them stood against the cool glass of the window which overlooked the city from a height and a distance. The sky was colored in shades of the rear of the night, black-blue and violet-grey with contrasting streaks of pink sneaking in, at the inception of dawn.

"Armaan?"

"Hmmm... "

"Why did we wake up on the wrong side of the bed?"

"I... usually sleep on the wrong side..." She raised an eye without turning to face him.

"Yeh?" and felt him shrug against her back in affirmation.

"Just a random habit I picked up in freshman year." he explained, "My room in the West Hall was on level three and my bed accordingly west facing, I slept the wrong side so I could wake up to the sight of dawn each morning."

She smiled absent mindedly. That he was thoughtful and an individual of depth she had always known, but every little detail of the man she loved was exhilarating and precious. Like the sensation of the stray thumb he was rubbing upon one of her wrists right now.

"How did I not hear about this during pre-med?" she quipped, cocking an eye. Armaan chuckled.

"You mean you were trying to come to terms with my sleeping habits from way back then?"

"I was trying to come to terms with plenty Dr. Malik, but you refused to let a girl invade your life," she informed him with the slight turn of her head towards him and he looked back visibly sheepish. Then unexpectedly he blew away at the troublesome bang over her eye and her lashes blinked reflexively as if shying away. Armaan grinned cheekily.

"Realllly?" he teased.

"Yeh yeh!... flatter youself all you want. Everyone has a right to humor their egos!"

This time he broke out laughing, then turning her around in an affectionate embrace he fixed that stubborn strand firmly behind her ear and gave her a casual peck at the start of her long nape just below the chin. She felt a slight shiver to the tip of her spine. It was this element of his love she thought she would never get accustomed enough to, his gestures were at moments so unexpected, yet so simple and spontaneous that they seemed the most obvious things for her to have expected from him in exactly the moment they graced.

"I love you," she mumbled snuggling closer into him and they stood looking out at the blooming day in this early summer week. "So how did I not know about ths habit before?"

"There's nothing distracting you from topics is there?"

"Scared I might unravel some dark secret Doc?" she took her turn to tease him back and he gave her a thoughtful look.

"Maybe..." and she elbowed him in the ribs lightly at his jesting tone a second later.

"Oowww!" he muttered in obvious reflex. "What's so exciting about it anyways?"

"Well, I mean...its not a usual habit, and the reason even more unusual. I'm just surprised I never heard a mention of it. Not even from Abhi..." Armaan shocked her with another hearty laugh.

"Abhimanyu Modi!" he exclaimed like the name held a latent joke, shaking his head. "I hope that wasn't the dark secret you suspected me of sweetheart." Ridhima rolled her eyes with a wry grin at his mundane intrepretation.

Abhi had been married to Nikki for over a year now.

Nikki was Ridhima's friend from an age where she could not have spelled the word right.

Abhi was Armaan's mate from high school onwards.

Armaan was the intellectual introvert who had drawn feelings from a much in contrast bubbly Ridhima who's fascination for this different guy had fast become attraction and further flourished into a ripe emotion one of its kind.

And it was in the process of bringing the latter pair closer, that the cupid had made its miracle strike between the former two who to begin with had been at loggerheads in the politest of terms. And all this activity had marked their years of undergrad together.

"Anyways," he continued and Ridhima listened attentively, "It wasn't exactly in Modi's best interests to be rattling off about sleeping habits in public." Armaan concluded with an amused faraway look. Her hold around his waist relaxed as she pulled back from the embrace slightly to look at him, intrigued, and he looked right back at her.

"What do you mean?" she asked him and he grinned at look of curiosity on her face like a young teen not wanting to be left out of a secret. Tugging his hold around her shoulder in a half hug he kissed her nose happily and said looking into her eyes,

"Why don't you ask Nikki sometime and you'll know what I mean. I'd rather skip gossiping like women." the note was to provoke her and she obliged him, making a face. "You look beautiful right now... just out of bed."

He said suddenly and the drop of volume did wonders to his deep set baritone. Another unexpected moment, she thought, looking up into his eyes and he smiled down at her, in a calm which felt like a contradiction to her own tumult of emotions. She wondered if he could hear the beats of her heart which were a pounding in her own ears at his mere words, and as he held her look steady, she wondered further how he managed a poise as firm through an intensity so fierce.

She lowered her eyes, because he wouldn't, and because she couldn't keep it up any longer; he stared at the smile starting to form on her lips. It was like inhaling the fresh mist when a cloud started to descend in the hills, the black of kohl which had been a neat stroke lining her eye the evening before was smudged into indistinction, like a hazy fog which the cloud becomes. He could see evidence of an early morning hour in her face, the work of cosmetics having faded after the night, left behind an unattended raw beauty, the skin on its own to fend its charm was soft and supple with, he could swear, an unusual glow, a lingering scent of sweet sweaty mingling of her perfume, his cologne and the fragrance of the sheets they had shared.

Perhaps he had never imagined he would live to see this morning, perhaps he not envisioned what this morning could be like, perhaps the existence of this moment and its spell had nothing do with thinking at all... He had just never seen her like this before, and he felt a sense of content in knowing he could wake up to mornings for the rest of his days to explore her countenance in leisure for the unpredictability of what new he could discover after a night of sleep. Or perhaps he was content because he was a man in love, his love fulfilled. The smile started with the curling of his lips and widened to reach the corners of his eyes. She raised her eyes again, at this second, and the warmth his smile eluded made her smile back, conscious of nothing no more.

"Only right now?" she asked, breaking the silence.

"...." He raised a brow too lazy to bother with her words, wishing to stay in his trance for a while.

"I look beautiful only right now out of bed?" she quoted him fluttering her eyelashes in mock coyness, her tone was blatantly playful and he frowned.

"What a cliched comback honey! It got close to ruining the moment for me..."

"To a compliment which was declared cliched centuries ago..." she reminded him.

"They must have not known how beautiful my darling can look..."

"Just out of bed...?" she completed for him maintaining her teasing stand, folding her arms across her chest with a smug look.

"Even in bed..." he whispered his words with a casual touch to his intended emphasis. She grit her teeth hoping to fight the rising color in her cheeks which Armaan marveled, was the color of the morning summer sun... perhaps a reflection of the one growing outside?

"I can't believe you just said that. You're not the Armaan Malik I've known all these years."

"Yes honey, I'm the Armaan Malik you did NOT know all these years."

"Goodness! Did you join some 'get bold and romantic' crash course?"

"... erm... nope..." he said as if the idea was a weird suggestion, "Do things like that exist?" She smacked her forehead in exasperration and he chuckled.

"Why do I look beautiful only in or out of bed? What about the rest of the day?"

"Thats a hard one now." he stated faking a grim appreciation at having him cornered and she dared him with a warning look. "You're the only woman I've seen in or out of bed." he went on in a serious tone and she contemplated upon his candid confession with satisfaction, "For the other hours of the day... you have significant competition."

Ridhima took some seconds before she narrowed her eyes at him. Armaan, held back with a constrain he had not known himself to possess, from cuddling and kissing her right away.

"Right!" She hissed writhing within his hold which remained easily stronger than her attempt to break free. She gave up and said, "I never stopped you from checking your options with them others in competition 'in-and-out-of-bed'..."

"Oh no! You definitely don't want anything that sort honey..."

"You think I'm scared you'd find someone better?"

"I think you don't even want to be thinking along those lines," he remained annoyingly unabashed by her indications.

"Like you care about what I want... " she retorted rolling her eyes. Ridhima, he thought almost sighing, my love, in anger you're a sight I never want to miss.

"You don't believe that sweetheart," he corrected her fighting to keep the amusement out of his voice.

"Why don't you make up your mind once and for all Dr. Armaan Malik?" she said finally, the agitation no secret. Not that any of this was serious conflict, but, she mused, couldn't he be nice to her this one morning? Like just simply nice?

"I did," he replied solemn as if he'd read her mind, "Last night... when we got married, Dr. Ridhima Armaan Malik."

He said each of the last three words with deliberation. And every bit of her agitation flew out of the window like it had never been. To be replaced by something in her heart which wanted to stop, leap out and dance around crazy. The sound of her name with his was like a pleasant melody. She was yet to get used to it, and so, the night before her wedding, with the henna dark and unwashed but dry and chipping slightly, she had sat on her desk until the wee hours of the morning, scribbling the name with variation in strokes on a register of crisp empty pages.

The groom and bride were to not see each other for an auspicious subsequent wedlock and in playing hard with him she had told him they would interact in anyway only when they faced each other for the vows. He had kept the honor of her word, much to her chagrin, and unable to bite back on the condition she had enforced, she had submitted to it herself. With an old picture of them, hence, from one of her birthdays, she had spent her time deciding the appearance of her new name, on paper. A long night of introspection and anticipation.

She came out of her chain of thoughts when she felt his lips, press upon her forehead, gently. And raised her eyes up to his. Soulful and earnest.

"I love you..." she said a second time.

"Ridhima..." he whispered and tipped her chin to raise her face higher. She heard a deep throat grunt of passion and his voice was raspy so inaudibly that she thought she knew his next words only cause she could feel his lips brush over her own as he spoke them...

"I love you too darling... "

And he kissed her full on the mouth possessively, his fingers caressing the throbbing pulse along the side of her neck aroused in her an ecstatic frenzy. She wrapped her arms around his neck unknowingly rising to her toes as she deepened the lip lock. Emotions riding high he lifted her petite frame in a swift move, lowered her only when he sensed the edge of the bed, upon it... and himself upon her. She snuggled into his chest with a low moan seeking the proximity to stay and grow as he loved her, to his heart's content...

Armaan had a warm settling feeling deep inside. Only a week ago they had completed residency. A week later, last night they had tied the knot. The week ahead they were off from work for their honeymoon. And today, he mused, his last fading thought, was the first day for the rest of their lives...

  ****************** the end ******************
Edited by spln - 13 years ago
spln thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#4
This is for the request made by Aish - on Samrat and Nupur, college setting, fun and conversation... done in under 30 minutes, so really, there's little to the content... just a random! ... enjoy reading!!  ~ nj

~ Of favors ... exchanged! ~

"Cheenu!"

The name in summon was message enough. Grabbing a chair and flipping it around so he could lean chest-ward upon its back, chin resting atop, Samrat let out a sigh, impatient and noisy, clearly seeking attention. When she had remained persistently ignorant, he frowned heavily.

"Nupur!"

Again, the name was all he spoke. But it did cause her to raise an eye, and at the same moment a cup of steaming tea was placed before him, by the ever obliging Cheenu. Unfortunately for the latter, his prompt serving was not rightfully acknowledged. With a wry face, some inaudible mumbling about lack of gratitude, he had removed himself from the scene.

"Ask me?!" Samrat pleaded with her.

"Why do I even try," she muttered, shutting the book that had lay open before her previously. Mayank was going to be anything but pleased at one more time that she had managed to delay reading her section for the project. "Not like you get the point."
Her concentration had been sparse anyways, occupied by thoughts of the study session last evening, and the spat that had concluded it unceremoniously. Something was oddly changing between them, Mayank and her, it was affecting her, and she knew not what. And that was bothering her more than the change.

Currently,
Samrat looked offended, not enough however to retort, that at the risk of losing her distracted even if, attention. "I am not coming with you to shop for Gunjan one more time." she declared.

"But that's not..."

"I am also not getting involved with any arguments between you two."

"Nupur listen..."

"If you think I didn't notice that open window in our bedroom you must have forgotten how chilly December nights can be."

"You mean you were not sleep... "

"And even if I had snuggled and snored and turned a deaf ear to all your butter and cheese, you obviously have no idea what a tell tale sign that abandoned ladder by our balcony is."

"Oh F... "

"Don't you damn swear!" She pointed an threatening finger at him. This time Samrat, at the dawn of a much belated resignation, a wise one, kept silent. Refrained even the temptation of pointing out that 'damn' classified as cussing enough. Nupur waited and to her satisfaction he said no more. If only it was this simple to shut up that insufferable know-it-all Mayank Sharma, she mused. Samrat cleared his throat in reminder, to which she said, "Fine tell me what." Making him grin, widely. But with the wisdom prevailing some more, he kept to himself for now how letting her have the last word was a victory for him after all. She knew it anyways, not spelling facts was just a civil precaution.

"I planned this surprise for her cause its our half year anniversary and ... "

"Your WHAT... anniversary?" The look in her eyes was not of having missed his words, but of daring that he repeat them. Her eyes were heavily laced with cynical mockery, and a superior disbelief.

"Half year. Six months. Which is six times thirty days, plus three extra from July, August and October, that is a hundred and eighty three, times twenty four hours, plus the thirteen from today call it X for ease, X times sixty minutes plus the twenty three from this hour, Y, whatever that amounts to, and finally Y cross sixty seconds... erm and ... " he glanced at his watch.

"Lets settle upon a final Z, for ease of course." Nupur offered, a bored expression underlining every, otherwise sharp feature of her face. "And just cause we're best friends, although you will soon have to remind me why, I wont tell Gunjan you couldn't do all that math mentally."

"That, my dear 'best friend' , " Samrat said quoting the tag of prominence in the air, "Is awfully sweetheartish of you."

"I will also try to keep shut about how much your vocab sucks." Samrat swallowed his pride with a cold smile, before speaking again.

"The point is, its our half year anniversary."

"Samrat Shergill, I can hide all your dark secrets from my sister, but this... this abominable piece of information coming from you is altogether alarming. I'm going to have to warn her you might be gay."

"Do that," he said with an unexpected calm, "At the altar of justice, I shall offer to prove the innocence of my predicament practically..." Nupur steeled her gaze at his gallant act and smug smile.

"That was lecherous... and debauch... and crude, and... Gunjan is my sister..."

"And I, her boyfriend. Who happens to love her very much."

"Fine!" Nupur gave it at last. "I'm listening."

"She refuses to bunk the next class." Samrat said in a defeated tone. His eyes found for the first time the tea cup placed before him and on cue he looked up towards the counter, caught Cheenu's eye and raised the cup to him in gesture.

"Didn't you tell her why..."

"Its a surprise Nupur, do you understand the word?"

"Well who gave you the intelligence to plan a surprise, for Good Girl Gunjan, during lecture hours?"

"I... erm..." Samrat scratched his temple lightly. Suddenly Nupur laughed.

"You didn't know, did you... about the lecture?" He clicked his tongue to confirm. "How did she ever agree to date you Sam?"

"I've been meaning to ask her that..." he said honestly, "But I fear she may realize her blunder." At this she laughed some more. Then sobered at his genuine misery.

"So you need for me to pull her out of class." She concluded, thoughtful. Not about the immediate concern at hand, but about the scope in its periphery. Mayank was attending the same lecture. "I have a proposition," she started with a smile that too obviously sly for Samrat to miss. 

"Begin with all I stand to lose."
He had known her long enough.

"Nothing." He eyed her warily, but unless he was in much error, she had meant it. Intrigued he waited for her to explain. When she had done that, his intrigue had only been raised some notches higher.

"You mean you just want me to persuade her to prepare notes from this project reading?"

"By tomorrow. And claim it as your work." She emphasized. Samrat sat studying her for explanation.

"She refused to do it for you?" Nupur rolled her eyes. "Yeh, I would think not." Still puzzled, he asked her the obvious, "Why would you not just ask her yourself?"

"I don't want her to know its for me." Knowing her unexceptional truth telling virtue, no way!

"Did she say something to you Nupur?" Samrat asked seriously. Maybe Gunjan's study hard pep talks were not limited to him alone.

"Uh-huh." Nupur denied, shaking her head. She had not. But he had. Mayank G. Sharma. G for Geek, G for Git. "Stop wasting my time." She told Samrat with a lofty toss of her hair off her shoulder. The latter was certain of reason to suspect. Only, he was more certain he wanted to go on this date with Gunjan, and within the next hour. He'd spent a fortune booking VIP seats for Shakespeare. Romeo, had been her first affectionate jab at him, the first time he had climbed up her window. And the innumerable times that had followed, he might as well have auditioned for the immortal balcony scene with her, they were now pros. What a coincidence it was being performed today...

"Are we on or not Sam?" Nupur's flat ultimatum brought him back. He smiled at her, and surprising her, pulled her into a hug.

"You're my angel, sweetheart!"

"Please! Save the endearments for the real victim." Nupur replied making a disdainful face. Then stood up and announced, "Alright. I'll be right back." And she had walked out before another word was spoken. Samrat ran a dreamy hand through the unruly lock of hair, happily. Then called aloud out of habit, "Cheenu!" Seconds later the old, barely touched cup of tea had been replaced by a fresh steaming one. Samrat gave him a generous smile, then a generous tip, and sat sipping onto his tea at leisure.

Only minutes had been past, those under ten, when she entered the scene of plotting again, this time hastily. Without a warning she grabbed him by his forearm, pulling him out of his chair.

"Nup... "

"Later! Hurry to the staff room right now. She will reach any second."

"What? How did..."

"And send Mayank to the canteen."

"But... MAYANK?"

"Samrat!" She glared at him, hands upon hips. "Was this date scheduled for today or six months from now for the full year anniversary?" Samrat looked hopelessly bullied. "Go fast now. And send Mayank to the canteen on some pretext. Any pretext. He is coming with her. And DO NOT forget about the notes." Samrat would have stood longer to seek answers, if not debate them, but he knew better for this moment. Later, he told himself, recording a mental memo to self. Mayank...

"Samrat Shergill... "

"Is out of here for his life." He completed rushing out the door. When he had been chased out, literally, Nupur, after several seconds, rubbed her hands in glee. Mayank would come any moment now. She smirked to herself. Hah!

He had told her she was irresponsible. That her sister was diligent and that she should at least try to not be the black sheep in the house. He was not the first one who had said all of that, there were many who had said more. But for no reason she could explain it mattered, what he thought of her. Specially if it was to be something so unworthy. No one walked around a free man after insulting Nupur Bhushan. And Mayank Sharma was going to learn his lesson. Hell he was going to mince his words with his own mouth! She would make him miss a lecture for no fault of anyone officially, breaking the snooty rule. She would then present 'diligent' notes tomorrow, the ones Gunjan would make except that was not for him to know. And of course, she would leave him no grace then unless he admitted she was a priceless partner...

Samrat's job was done. More importantly, so was hers. Oh yes, they were so totally the trite 'friends in need are friends indeed'!

******************** the end ********************
Edited by spln - 13 years ago
spln thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#5
This was unrealistically a one shot... i reconsidered and decided it would do better as a realistic 4-short chapter piece... for me, a first in several ways... (except that i have taken forever to have it done, alas!) in my defense though, for a lack of experience in what i think has gone into writing this piece, i was hardly stuck, and have not re-read the entire thing one whole time... (there may be several typos :S) but! ... i think i was unfairly excited about it!

hope it makes an enjoyable read! :)

ps: merry christmas! ... the snow - *sigh*


*edit* so i thought of an ... erm... rather lame, but vaguely fitting name for this... not that anyone shall come back to check, but for my own whim! (have always loved this band)

~ Guns 'n' Roses ~

~ Chapter 1 ~

"So faithful in love and so dauntless in war
there never was a knight like the young ... ... "
                 

(~
Sir Walter Scott; Lochinvar)

He slipped inside through the flap of the makeshift military tent and blew into the hands which were, although, sensibly gloved. The warmth in the exhaled air escaped like halos of smoke, his cheeks were suffused as if with greater life in these only averse conditions. The red in them, cherished.

And though he had walked inside hoping to share good news about a vital confirmation just received on wire, the absence of his junior ranking colleague was, he promptly acknowledged to himself, a welcome solitude after all. On an unforeseen whim of his mind, he broke into chirpy whistling, ignoring entirely, the effort exacted from his cold, dry throat. The outcome of which bore but remote semblance to any form of melody. He continued, nonetheless, intermittently, audibly out of tune, visibly pleased.
It was after all, he reminded himself mildly, only some hours for the new year to dawn upon them...

They were going to the nearest civil settlement from their current camp site. Once, that is, that the remaining half of their regiment would arrive under the charge of his fellow Captain to briefly relieve his segment. Till they could return and jointly the segments would then assume the responsibility of implementing a defensive scheme they had been entrusted with. It seemed apparent that this entire armed insurgency at the border was no short lived hoax, which was what he had claimed in his war front status report from earlier this morning. It had rendered necessary, therefore, replenishing basic supplies, and calling upon back up forces. So far, his boys had maintained control of the higher, advantageous hence, peak along the LoC. It had involved braving nominal casualties, solely material as luck had had it for now, but with rest next to none and a high alert situation at all times, there was a constant drain of stamina, and no wisdom could lay in awaiting that they be far too wasted to hold up, if an option otherwise could be availed. For in addition to its strategic convenience, the peak overlooked a major part of the highway that connected them to the summer capital of Srinagar, and the relatively affable territory of Leh. A highway of ample moment hence, and something that must be always protected.

Captain Angad Khanna, heading this half of that segment of North Western regiment which had been dispatched to the border some 72 hours ago, should have been, despite its initial spell of success, a grave leader. Angad Khanna, a soldier at the frontier like any other among the 500 under his command, should have been a concerned man. Angad himself, was decidedly neither.

They had successfully thwarted the firing from last night, and the opponent army in the valley at the foot of the peak they were mounted upon, had posed quiet since. He did not mistake it for them to have been subdued, it would have been presumptuous on his part after the intensity, and quality, of the artillery they had employed yesterday. In greatest probability, it had only just begun. The decision to climb down some kilometers of the range was to revive energies, and resources, for survival and warfare so it could all last them an entire week to follow. It was sign enough of what he expected lay ahead of them, which still, for one, wasn't the worst he had anticipated when the emergency summon bearing dispatch had first reached him. In his best appraisal of their entire situation and that of the erring enemy, he believed they would withstand modestly well, if not better, till height was theirs to claim. Also... till it did not
snow.

It was then at this thought, in need of the device, that he became cognizant of its presence. From somewhere within his sparsely indulgent bearings came the muffled and scratchy but consistent sound of a radio playing the ever companionable AIR station. It was almost time for the afternoon news, and the weather forecast that followed. There was something pleasantly normal about being intimated of such basic updates from a source that wasn't necessarily a phone call from the head quarters, a fellow personnel or a delivered parcel, labeled by norm 'Top Secret', stamped O.I.G.S. in black upon the dreary pale orange of the envelope. Something, that was not classified as
urgent. Something that bred familiarity in it anonymity.


He did not know personally the rather monotonic RJ(s) tucked safely, far away in some weathered government structure in the national capital, Delhi, as they rambled on with the endless list of dedications, and an even longer list of those it hoped to cheer and/or assure, before playing what in his opinion was usually old, often rustic Bollywood music. At other times, it was classical instrumental, no more charming by his own taste; at yet other times there were interactive shows they aired which made him wish they would embark upon some sense of 'originality' to actually entertain their listeners. Once in a while he amused himself with the idea of how despite all their shortcomings, AIR had its fair share of loyal clientele. And that he himself, out of lack of option even if, was one among them! Once in a rarer while of such musings, they would play, by some inexplicable divine intervention as if, a random song he would actually enjoy.

Today, the ceaseless muffled commentary was a
she.

As he came to realize, after ravaging through the meager bundles of blankets in the sternly furnished temporary abode, before he could finally lay his hands upon the indisputably obsolete looking black colored set. A device, that would surprise a common man in a better part of the world by its mere existence in today's date, let alone its genuine usage by genuine human beings like himself. A tune begun to strum, instinctively drawing his focus to itself. A lopsided smirk found its way to his lips, as Angad thought of the irony, and coincidence!

"Kismat ka khel hai sara
firta tha main awara
ye kya se kya ho gaya ... "

( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UiE5Fi-2Z0)

Twisting first the tuning knob to strike the closest frequency match with the station's local relay range, he eliminated as much noise as he best could. Then turned the volume knob to its highest, which was obnoxiously low compared to the woofers of his yellow Lancer back home. His spirits, however only soar higher. It was one of the few songs he more than just liked. A reminder of his past, a portrayal of his present, a glimpse into a probable future. Yes, he loved the song! The smirk became a smile, which was lavished within seconds by a generous grin. A wholesome grin, that stretched across his roguish, handsome visage.

The cacophony of his 'whistling' rose in notes finally acquiring a rigid tune, although the lack of an audience was good idea. For the sake of the missing audience of course. Holding the set in one hand, when Angad proceeded with an attempt to tame his feet into a weird 'I'm happy' jig of sort however, the sight rightfully could have earned him some smiles, even laughs. Chance unfortunately, at that moment, presented no such beneficiaries.

The whistling slowly subsided into a mumbling of bits and pieces of the lyrics, humming through the rest, as the continued light footed prancing gradually drove him short of breath. The extremity of altitude, and its harsh weather conditions, neither of which were greatly mitigated by the covering of a tent, shared major blame. When the song was over, Angad plopped upon the hard bunk ending his act with half a heart, but with a small, contended, sigh. And closed his eyes lightly. He had slept a total of 30 minutes in the last three days, those marred by subconscious distractions, and it would not be anytime soon that he would find rest, in its absolute. But he was not tired, really.

The radio had, as per its unaltered schedule, begun to relay the afternoon news bulletin, retaining then his alert attention, in part. Another part of his mind distantly continued to play the tune in his head. Yet another part of him was playing in accordance to the lyrics a slide show, an assortment of visions, mentally. Visions of his life.

An early childhood, too early to be recalled, elementary years of schooling in the prestigious all boys boarding, which were followed by the tween years, the teen years... the adolescence, all in the same school - Welham... Welham Boys. The 'boys' mattered, cause there was a 'girls' version, the one that had most notoriously marked discussions with the hostel gang on countless sleepless, rule breaking nights. Those were the days. If his father's job in the forces and the frequent transfers therefore had contributed to his growth in one big way, it was in the form of Welhams. College in Bombay had taken him away from the north. But this distance from the mountains he had grown to call home had been short lived. It was only three years ago, that he had barely graduated when the shattering news had been received by his family. The news of his father's death, in a crash, during an unexpected air raid close to the Nathula Pass in the North East.

"Lieutenant Khan reporting, Sir!"

Angad had was up and erect upon his feet in under a second, and returned the formal courtesy of a salute. Then said, "At ease, Lieutenant."

"Captain Singh has sent me ahead to inform you that the precise arrival of his segment shall be at 1400 hours. He hoped his advance message could give you enough time to be ready to depart right away, so you could return before midnight." Angad nodded. "He also wished to let you know the highway has been cleared by our men on the trek uphill and shall hopefully present you and your men with little or no trouble in that respect." Angad nodded again, with a slight smile this time, in appreciation.

"We're ready to go, except the 50 men stationed on alert because we cannot retreat completely under any circumstances. Although... it has remained quiet on the outside for the past 16 hours. It should take no time to replace them anyways, as soon as we can." Walking towards the fellow comrade he continued, "Why don't I get you acquainted to the set up as from the last three days meanwhile?" The lieutenant stepped aside to allow his senior to lead, before he could fall in step. Angad, with a half tilt of his head, and a smile he had finally allowed to emerge over the formal proceedings, quipped, "How was your brother's Nikaah?"

"A.Complete.Chaos," his subordinate declared, rolling eyes, before he chuckled, "What can one expect when I announce 48 hours before the actual date of ceremony, that I must report back within 24. Ammi would have sooner had me hand in a resignation if she was not so utterly time pressed with the preponed arrangements for the thought to occur to her."

"You mean the marriage happened two days too soon?" The lieutenant laughed.

"That, Angad, was my saving grace. Dulha miyaan, for the sea of impatience he harbors, apparently blessed our dear General for the issue of this order and took care of everything, I mean 'everything', in his selfish pursuit." This time they both laughed. And missed, the crackling warning from the black set that had been tossed back into the tent, before they walked away from the spot.

... heavy snow is expected later in the evening today... the speakers ominously sounded...  There is an additional indication as per latest weather reports, of a massive blizzard heading towards the affected border zone of Indian Kashmir with a 60% possibility of lasting the night....

****************************************Edited by spln - 13 years ago
spln thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#6
Guns 'n' Roses

~ Chapter 2 ~


"And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by
... ... "

(~
Edgar Allen Poe; Annabel Lee)

For the umpteenth time, as the tyre skid over the fresh flurry of snow, making the car swerve scarily even if slightly, she cursed the brake shoe that was rapidly losing its mild efficiency in friction. The narrow winding hilly road, so to say, was daunting enough on clear days to a first timer. She wasn't one, she had impatiently informed her father dismissing his concern over the looming bad weather when she had left home over five hours ago. And as she was fast realizing the hard way, it had been anything but smart. There was a fleet of men ever ready to serve at the snap of her fingers, and it would have taken her acceptance to allow but one of them to accompany her to the live studio recording.

But Kripa Aziz Sharma, (an awkward complete name as had been pointed out to her every now and then that people had dared to suggest so) was not the one to heed to something as jaded as
precaution. Which was also, she had realized innumerable times, not very smart on her part. But with each reckless instance that she survived, the horrors quickly fading, Kripa had come to repeat over and over, degrading with the growing years, her daring rebellions. She was neither a pampered child, as she believed, although she was a single which made some amount of pampering inevitable; nor one bound by unnecessary restrictions, as her family believed, except that again was partially inevitable for an only child. Her sense of disobedience then, much contrary to cliche concepts, was entirely, independently, an individual virtue.

Or
vice, she silently chided herself, as she did in such tight spots more often than not. A regret, evolving from some streak of latent fear, both of which were characteristically transient. (Of course, for those who would listen to her, which included neither her father nor her grandfather, nor close kin and friends - she professed, in this respect, and all others, being just like her mother, who she had only ever seen in photos, black and white.)

The antique, inconvenient wreck that she was driving currently, threatened to fall out of path again, or simply fall apart from the effort of the arduous climb. Mentally she reprimanded herself at falling prey to the distraction of only
probable dangers when all of her attention should be focused upon maneuvering this primitive version of a car instead. Besides the heating she had had installed last week was being well tested, and holding strong - that was some solace, eh? Their ancestral Baby Austin that had been passed onto her lovingly by her dear Nannu only a month ago, upon graduation from college. If only she had tuned into the news, she may have been fore warned of this impending weather condition before leaving the safety of her home... and may yet have been tucked into the satin and warmth of her four poster bed, treating herself to an extra spiced mug full of kahwah, post a lazy afternoon siesta, watching something suitably romantic out of her massive SRK dedicated DVD collection. The thought made her wry, especially the hypocrisy of misjudging this exactly same weather as a dreamlike fancy, when afforded the comfort of those aforementioned luxuries.

Her father had been ranting something about it, she recalled now, when she was busy rushing out of the heavy wooden front door of her maternal ancestral home. Running late she was then, as she was at all given times when she ought not to be... Oh well, someone had been put off the stress. Her text to her father a while ago had read,
Stayin' d night here in town ... d snow looks a pretty sight til imma not drivin'! ... luv, kazi ...

Pretty sight, indeed! That was pretty damned true! The
flurry of flakes shone onto by the headlights, were at the moment coming down fast and big directed to oppose precisely the direction of her crawling progress, and with the sky looking darker all the time and the road ahead and behind desolate, it was a feeling of driving through the stars.  Millions and billions and trillions of them... like milky way itself had paved the path for her drive back home tonight. If only, she wished hopelessly, she was not the one driving...

Kripa was a Mass Comm. major, looking for a job that her family desperately hoped she would not find, so they could keep her with them for a while longer, before marrying her into an equally affluent family where she could continue leading a life just as uneventful as it had been in these twenty one some years. According to her, that is. For growing up in such vicinity of disputed international borders had not in complete irrationality made her trivialize the likes of those actual nine fractures of her various limbs, the one time she had nearly downed through a tender spot in the ice which she had adventurously ventured upon while skating, the couple of near fatal, or worse, near paralyzing, ski accidents... and other such almost commonplace occasions that would later have to be narrated, when unavoidable, with affected understatements. When one grew up in areas, she was often heard to justify, where shelling and blasts were usual morning alarms... where lone trips to nearby stores were one out five times guaranteed to offer more action than simple shop-pay-return procedures... where white
snow was often blood red, where serenity was morbid... where death was lesser times a natural process of decay or calamity and greater times a human inflicted response... such routine injuries even if not ordinary in the frequency with which they happened to her, were not supposed to be taken too seriously, too long.

For now, she
was taking this drive seriously. There wasn't an option, unless she really intended such a routine way to end her brief, unremarkable life. Why, God knew, and Kripa did, she was yet to have experienced the basic female vanity of falling in love... of being loved back... Momentarily, and almost surprisingly for the mess she was in currently, her mind recalled the tune she had played to an audience, if any, that remained unknown to her... and unseen...

"Char din ki zindagani
har pal ik nayi kahani
kya tha main kya ban gaya ...
"

( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UiE5Fi-2Z0 )

The wheels, all four of them, had not taken a second's break from intimidating her. The characteristic inner dirt-road that led her back home was oh-so-familiar, and occasional milestones that were not hidden by the falling flakes, or some from before, went by every so indicating numbers decreasing, but she knew the distance was still considerable. Why, of all the damn days, did it
have to be such difficult weather on the one day she was scheduled to audition at the studio? Looking back at the past few hours, it had not been her best day. Getting a call from the closest AIR station (a three hour drive in favorable conditions, which was not how she would define the scenario at hand), had been much delayed a ray of hope to her impatience. It wasn't exactly a state of art break in her yet to begin career, but it would have to do as a first. They had informed her that having reviewed her application for the post of a part time mid day RJ for the frequencies that relayed within state, she had been shortlisted to audition for a trail run today, an hour special program they were doing the last noon of this year. Such a start, Kripa thought to herself mildly, she was going to embark upon... It had gone well, so she had been told when she had been on her way out after spending just about 30 minutes in the studio, of which she had been on air for exactly 3. Obviously, she had not thought much of the chance it was, or her take on it. Still, if this had to be it, then be it. She was confident on the account of having done better than the other five contending for this same job, apparent as it had been, that she was the only one unfazed, suspiciously, even uncaring... of how she was going to do, or had done after she had.

All of that unperturbed air had conveniently vanished, now, when she could put it to some real use.

"Bloody hell!"

The cuss words came as the only easy comfort when nothing else did, but they did little to ease her nerves at the sight of a lone figure -
a black silhouette against a background that was heavily snow bound and white - even as the late twilight hour cast an over bearing dark sky, the glistening terrain cast a brightness, each reflecting and reflected in the other...

The lone figure stood middle of the road she was precariously, and only barely managing to stay upon. An oddly angled wave of an arm greeted her as she closed in, and closer yet Kripa could make out the outline belonged to a male.
A seemingly well built male, she noticed, with not much comfort in the thought. A fleeting idea crossed her mind, as she considered the option of dodging past him, but it was absurd and she knew it. Unless, she wanted the car, with herself in it to skid off the narrow cliff road she was on. No, stop she would have to. In the seconds that she braked, not wanting to entirely stop, cause who knew what could be expected out of this, her skepticism slowly and rapidly gave way to annoyance. As the man, stood where he was, without making any effort to come up to the car, her window and explaining his blocking appearance.

She inhaled deeply. To keep a calm. To hold back a surge of complicated, reactionary emotions. And turned the ignition off. Her hand went for the handle clasp of the driver door on her side, but Kripa was overwhelmed at her sense of apprehension... engulfing it was like never before... at what lay ahead, past this discrete second...

Out she walked. The wind had gathered itself, fast building into a storm of kind, but Kripa was far from noticing that it pierced her harshly, when the air felt knocked out of her for a reason altogether different. Her eyes widened at the completeness of the sight, much clearer minus the windscreen that, hazy from the job of its lousy vipers which had kept her ignorant of critical details. She saw him top to bottom, and back, and then met his eyes. The rather diminished black beads - shinning... glinting... steeled...

"
Ya Khuda... " No sound betrayed what her lips had, those words that she used far more sparingly than the forbidden cussing uttered only shortly before. Her breath refused to unhitch from where ever deep inside her it was stuck...

She could still make a run for it... right... ?


*****************************************

Edited by spln - 14 years ago
spln thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#7
So, you know the characters, although I never actually followed the show they are linked with. I did see Iqbal in his other show, perhaps envisioning him in the forces was easier then! ... it was for Jannat's request, sorry i took forever... i even daresay it just struck me in a whim, something this kind and i thought i'd do it for AK... obviously i understand it is nothing usual to expect in the request you put, but i hope you will enjoy it somehow!

If you come to believe the scenario, all or part of it is preposterous, or if my claims on anything to do with borders and defenses seems loud and impossible, it may just be so... i was merely experimenting and did no research greater than what i randomly knew... so no offending/hurting intentions, harmless ignorance!

in general, i think AK were just names! :) ps: i love the song by Call, it reminds me of the one dearest to me, like no other... :)

ciao! ~ nj

Guns 'n' Roses

~ Chapter 3 ~


"
I am not yours, not lost in you, 
Not lost, although I long to be 
Lost as a candle lit at noon, 
Lost as a snowflake in the sea ... ... 
"

(~ Sarah Teasdale, I Am Not Yours)

When his eyes fluttered to open, a pain so intense shot through his entire being, it overtook in a blinding impact and they fell shut fiercely. A groan, infinitely small, timidly tried to gain expression, to no avail. He gave in momentarily, and just let himself be. In a life which was normal, like his had been not too many years ago, in a profession that wasn't what his was now unlike any he had envisioned for himself, also not too many years ago, Angad could in delirious temptation have rather believed he was dead, or at the very least, dying. Perhaps the latter he even was, but he there was no believing, till he knew... perhaps, not even then...

The intensity of pain was a sign of life too great. Greater still was the fact that he was thinking all of this, even if only in a feeble, zoned out manner... Momentarily again, he took to being still, as much mentally as physically. When the freezing numbness in his limbs gradually began to make itself obvious, it all started to come back to him, that even though they were only images in his head, it caused him a strained exhaustion all over. But for an entire moment, it also, laid to rest an immense worry.

Angad, from habit, almost chuckled, but the bodily ache it caused contorted his face into quite another expression, and this time the groan did escape him. Loud... dispelling the uninterrupted quiet surrounding him. Reminding himself to react only in his head - for the while - he smiled mentally! He was alive, check. He could remember it all distinctly, check. He could reason, and conclude, check. It wasn't bad at all, yes, he grinned,
mentally...

No sign of warning... the avalanche rolling down... the linked chain of his men... unhooking themselves, hasty and shaken, nervous when he screamed for them to be nimble and collected... but the enormity of the shock... and the consequences it could bear so far... it all came back to him... and then, his own words, the final ones he had yelled himself hoarse with in instruction... he remembered, the last thing that he did, was to unlatch himself... not in time to realize it was what had held him to the ground beneath his feet... which slipped away... and... then...

It had all gone around him in circles... deepening... dizzying... dark... Not now!... Angad recalled his only thought in the instant of that involuntary plunge... actually, impossibly, having grimaced for the first time in the face of an untimely death... approaching all too soon... he had to be at the border,God Damnit!!! ... for his father...

At this thought, of all others, and not minus the excruciating effort, his eyes shot open. The pain had subsided not one slightest bit, how could it, in all but a matter of seconds. But he had to get up from here... where ever this was. He begun to explore and observe his surroundings, even before his eyes, taking the time to overcome the blurring, could regain their ability to focus. It was a second time, and a second of his immense worry, that was laid to rest, at having found himself in what seemed to be a clearing of some kind. At least he was not in the middle of endless wooden clumps, shed and barren in this month of December. Additionally, the current hues coloring the sky seemed to indicate greater light than dark; it could have been, he reckoned, not over say an hour, two at max since his near encounter with death. Unless of course, that an entire day or so had passed him by unconsciously. He ruled out this last option, on the mere premise that he was still alive. In such temperatures, his current decaying condition, the freshness of snow, still falling over the perennial layers of this region underneath, covering him no less impartially... Perhaps then, he proceeded to think further, if luck continued to aid him in its faint fashion, he could stumble upon... some road... ?

Once again, compelled by habit, he chuckled, and this time, he didn't let the stabbing pang stop him from deriving the pleasure of it. So much to be
almost dead. Here he was, not just fighting for the instinct of life, but fighting for the instinct to live it out! There is always so much you can do, till that last breath of life struggles to remain within ... the words of his real time war senior came back to him... He had been, much before Angad, his father's colleague.

It took him a while, too long in his opinion but not enough that he could help it, before he could raise himself into some awkward position where the pain was only enough that he wouldn't die of it, literally. Such that he could enable himself to study, not just all around him but his own body. And the wounds it bore. Whatever his lower back rest against was jutting into it and doing no good, his only hope lay in that it would do no permanent damage. The exposed aperture of his eyes felt much too small, from swelling he figured, but it would have to do for now. Very slowly, so tenderly that it was hard to even perceive, he felt the fingers of his hand over various sections of himself, skin from under the threadbare gloves coming in contact with skin, in places, bared by shabbily torn clothing, at the cost of extreme agony. At one point his yelp of pain reverberated through the surroundings in such resonant echoes, the insufferable sadist inside him was triggered to humor the possibility of how long it would be before someone from his border area heard him and came for help. Then the disciplined Captain took over again, and reproached him to postpone the frolicking, for until... later.

It could have been an hour, a lenient estimate, when he had finally gotten up, trusting most of his weight upon the sturdy long log that he heavily leaned onto. Ginger on his feet, especially the left which was now firmly tied to a flattened wood board of sort against his lower leg with what had essentially been a sleeve of his uniform jersey and was extracted using a sole blade that had somehow clung steadfast to the lining of his boot, Angad nearly lost balance to crumble into the heap he had raised himself from. Before the log stuck a foot hold on behalf of the actual limb and saved him. He heaved in a rush of adrenaline and relief, dreading to think of, if, he had fallen again... wanting to congratulate himself for having accomplished a feat already, which was nothing ordinary, but the wasted muscles were a constant dampner... as was the gravity of his situation. Try as he might, they could, neither, be ignored. A further ripped length of fabric from his shirt was securely tied over the lower abdomen for some sanctity of holding tight, where he detected only deep, and numerous, internal injuries, and that seemed fortunate, considering he couldn't feel any fractured ribs. Fortuitous still, was the fact, even miraculous, that his head seemed to be majorly intact. Liberal and extended icing of both visible, as well as unmistakable inside wounds using the abundant
snow around had subsided swelling in certain parts, clotted blood over other wounds, and numbed sensation in yet other parts that could serve him best by being rested for now. His eyes had conspicuously widened, he believed, and that was a sure help, as the dark was unalteringly descending upon him all around. The sole upper garment that could still significantly cover him, his outer jacket, was thrown upon his otherwise bare torso. And thanking whatever precautionary thought had made him, when departing the camp,  pull over his military pants and shoes an extra layer of over sized sports track pants, which was all that presently covered his lower limbs, Angad assured himself he had done commendably.

And having dealt the best he could with his unkindly battered self hence, he was now faced with a bigger task. Of determining his next course of action. Which in immediate measure required for him to decide if it was left or right that he would walk on this path. He was clueless with regard to the precision of his location, and the heavily clouded sky (the
snow laiden clouds) revealed no celestial aides. Unless he was in serious error, however, it did seem like he was standing on something of a occasionally traversed hill track, the kind that could be expected to merge into roads at some point. But which side would that happen, and faster? Which side could his men be, those who had survived, and how many. And which side would the border lines be? ... Angad sighed in frustration, then pursed his lips and forced his racing thoughts to halt before they could dwell in greater perils. It could, and would, do him no good to think of the magnanimity of his troubles right now. He could, and would, do better by thinking of what was disposable at hand. Which was this hill track... and a recollected integrity within his mind.

When he placed a first foot forward tenderly, it seemed to mock him into realizing how standing up had been only a baby step so to say. The pain was retarding enough, he did not waste time on debating anymore, and walked to his right. It was a healthy word,
right, he had to strive for it, more than ever before, now...  And arbitrary though this idea was to rely upon for a decision so critical, there was no better reasoning he could muster in this case of equal and opposite probabilities.

The effort of trudging along ill catering trails, sometimes none, of heaving the mass of his over wrought physique, was a task too laborious. Every now and then, despite all will, he had to take breathers, before he could resume. And there were far too many moments he just wanted to give up, this never ending and seemingly futile trek he had dedicated himself to. But on he had dragged himself, knowing the destination he only wished to be headed towards, and how long he knew not about. For keeping track of time, even roughly, was yet another task, and there were one too many, too demanding, of primary concern, for him to weigh the secondary ones yet.

It was then, at another such moment of dissipating hope, that he thought he saw a speck in a distance. In under a minute, he was certain it was no fascinated play up of his mind, cause it seemed to have closed in on him somewhat, become bigger than just a speck hence, and though its advent seemed frustratingly slow, he was aware of how much worse he was doing himself. And decided therefore, to take the chance and wait upon it to approach him more.

Closer and closer it came, much to his relief, and then closer still, as he began to notice the distinction of shape and color relief in part turned to something of a comic element. It must have been a drugged level of relief, for Angad was certain he wanted to laugh. Out loud. He would have too, if physically it would not have been something as hard as stretching all those facial muscles which hurt too bad, and bracing himself to brave the tremors (of agony) it would cause all over... and he was anything but ready to writhe and flinch anymore that he absolutely had to, which was less by no means.

But seriously, a
lilac Baby Austin?! Deep down his throat stifled in partial success a definite chortle from surfacing. He was beginning to think he might just be hallucinating, after all. Alas! It persisted in his vision, to close in on the distance, and when he thought he could see a vague outline of a driver, he gathered all his might and gestured, with the best of a raised arm that he could, in beckoning.

When the ancient wonder came around to face him, literally a couple meters away, such that he was now able to tell the maroon of whatever its driver was wearing, it just stood there, still running. The head lights, name sake, were so dim, leave alone blinding him, they might as well have been missed in the nightly glow of the abounding snow itself. But the effort of standing there came back to remind him of his purpose to hail it. And he thought, almost gruffly, why no better sense could prevail upon this person behind the wheel, than to sit idling there when lending a helping hand would so much better an idea. Some streak of logic suggested it could be the preposterous nature of his appearance in this way, a reason as to why, humanity had taken a reluctant back seat when overshadowed by distrust. And giving his prospective savior-stranger a benefit of doubt, just as he decided to walk those remaining few feet to the car himself, its door opened. And out came... Angad frowned... his eyes attempted to widen, but narrowing was so much less to do... neither, in the end, altering facts. It really was...
a girl?!

So taken was he by how bizarre the sight was, first the car, now coupled by the appearance of this driver, that he stared, oblivious to all that the lack of restrain in his unwavering gaze could be misconstrued for. The features of her face so innocently delicate, and soft, as they underwent series of expressions that were all quickly heading for a rather ashen, final drawn blank expression, only astounded him more. Could this... was
she for real? How... why?

And then she raised her eyes to his. Angad thought, and it could well have been a result of his greatly weathered condition, that some inside him shifted focus. So intently was he noticing her, that the bare tremor of her lips did not escape him either, a set of two lips as perfectly curved and demurely painted as any he could have ever seen; and that was what snapped him out of the reverie. Almost instantly, and inexplicably, he felt a surge of agitation rise within.
Was she out of her mind? Extremely vague though it was, his sensed a protective instinct kick in next... Did she have no damn idea how insanely dangerous any of this was... Needless to expect then, that it would have occurred to him what a God sent angel she was proving to be.

And perhaps, to remind him of its generosity, chance, as would have it, had her turn her back upon him, abruptly, that same second.

"Wait!" He blurted. And it halted her in her step for a second that seemed too long to be only one. He really must have been noticing, cause even the stiffening of her shoulder blades from behind, at the sound of his call, was not missed upon him. His voice had not been loud at all, in all honestly he found the sound of it was almost alien to him, it was a raspy note in the violent sounds of the gale, louder only than the sound of falling
soft flaky whites that either settled over countless more like itself amassed or melted upon contact with the bodies; but she seemed to have heard it anyways. The effect apparently was either too short lived, or quite the contrary of what he had hoped for, cause he saw her extend her hand to the driver's door next. "I need help... " he persisted, forcing all his reserves, which weren't remarkable to begin with, so it could sound more like his usual convincing baritone, and in a desperate measure he uttered what he rarely did, "Please... " completely meaning it.

Kripa fought the most impossible mental debate in her head with the passing of the next five seconds or so. There was no trace of logic, to support what felt intuitively... acceptable... ? - about this stranger, the sound of his voice...
perhaps just the presence of a fellow human when she had felt so daunted by overbearing nature all around... made her want to believe him. Despite the strangest of appearance (where strange could be safely interpreted as 'unsafe') she would have imagined. So much, she couldn't understand what it was if not all that met her eye that would suffice as reason enough so she would heed to nothing else and flee the spot while she could, if she wanted to reach back in person no changed from how she had left home some hours before.

This foreboding, in some way, was not entirely a false alarm... something was about to change for her... on this life altering new year's eve...


And she paved way for the very same, when she turned back around to face him.
It isn't a lie, what they say, that we are the ultimate masters of our fates... the final instrument to implement 'fate' is our discretion, and that alone...

It might have been her need to justify this recklessness, but she thought she could discern a softening in his expression, whatever of it was evident on his rather... unkindly damaged face... In fact, thought Kripa, she could almost trace what was likely to have been the advent of a smile. Internally, she sighed. On the outside, she kept a straight face, and gave the lightest of nods.

Angad was not the one to miss cues.

"I need a ride," he explained coming straight to the point, "To the closest army base." Before she could agree, or disagree, he thought of something else too. "How far from the border are we?" Because she did not speak promptly, or well, he corrected himself, because she was yet to have spoken a single word out loud, Angad raised his eyes to emphasize his queries. And if she had thought her face to appear inscrutable, she couldn't have been further from the truth. He read the apprehension, and doubt plainly, and wondered. 


Did she know how transparent they were, those golden brown eyes of hers?


"I'm a captain in the army," he informed her, then added hastily, "The Indian army."

Kripa didn't plan to, but she did not think before it happened. Her eyes, of their own accord scrutinized his appearance one more time - the shabby navy blue tracks, the shabbier still blue-black jacket, scraped at places to reveal skin... yes, bare tanned skin... which was also revealed aplenty in the form of his broad chest, which helped none to undo knots in the pit of her stomach. It was heavily scarred, and unrecognizable almost though, now that he had made a mention, she saw the military print of what was carefully bandaged around it, waist and under. This sight, unexpectedly, made her think it was redundant. She would have and had taken him for his word. And she did not know this personal revelation ought to serve a scare or a reassurance. The chiseled makings of his physique, the strength of a toned wall in that chest only seemed to be further pronounced by the marks of his wounds... it amazed some corner of her mind, the fleeting thought of how she had never yet witnessed a warrior so brazen... so carnal a form... so raw without caring... despite the high probability that the geographic location of her home offered.

Her eyes, as unassumingly as they had surveyed him, went back to his face and met his, and only then did she become conscious of herself, and him. Extremely, furiously conscious, for it was not a mere hint or trace this time, but a distinct form even if subtle, that tiny amused smile. Tiny, but ample to embarrass her, even mock.
Why, she thought getting fervently angry, her cheeks flushed to compete with the color of her rich maroon overcoat, and her eyes flared when she looked back at him, here she was his only hope of any help, and he dare... he dare make fun of her?

Angad who had, with a patience he had known himself not to possess, stood awaiting her appraisal of his physical appearance, which he thought in mild exasperation was nothing of its usual impressive self today (of all days), had not intended to offend her at all. It had been so spontaneous, his amusement at her naive act of inspection, naive because one more acquainted to such situations would have covered their tracks better, as she clearly had not. But the fire of reproach in her eyes was so challenging, that when she had been caught! What was this girl, he mused with more interest than was usual to him, that even unfair indignity on her part seemed so... harmlessly... endearing... ?

He wondered further, if the inside damage of his systems was more than he had assessed so far...

"Hurry up, I don't have all night." she announced curtly, turning upon her heel to open her door. And with that, she had at last spoken her first words to him. He must have totally lost it, to think so, but he believed he would remember them forever... and smiled, a painful blunder physically, but he truly did. When she shut the door upon herself, it jolted him out of his meandering thoughts, again. He took a step, and winced, a low moan escaped him, and as reflexively as he had had clenched his fingers agonized, did they uncurl, unable to take the force of his fist. It was, a rude awakening from all that the past few minutes had made him,
more nearly, forget... as he sought to keep his balance steady enough.

Kripa was about to turn the key in ignition when out of an urge that beat her resolve before it could counter tackle, she looked at him, still outside. And they were instantaneous, her actions in reaction, as she threw open her door and rushed out. Nearly slipping herself over the freshly laid
snow in the final steps towards him. So that when her hand clasped his wrist, and the other arm fell behind to circle his back at waist which was a little too broad for her to get a complete grip, it was as much in regaining her own balance, as it was to help him keep his.

And he howled in such anguish, that it had her startled. The grip of both her hands let go just as thoughtlessly as they had initially held him and he was sure to have had a fall if she had,
yet again, not held him as she did... only more gently this time. It did not alter how terrified she was at the harm he may have suffered at the expense of her callousness and in the horror of it all she realized nothing else, no matter how obvious. The proximity they shared, the rapid heaving of her chest as breaths came short... the warmth of his shallow, sparse gasping over her neck, the hold of his big hand onto her small, dainty one, in a clasp that may have been only weak for him but it was for her, a first like so much else about him.

Angad was slightly bent, reeling from the pain that had shot through the extremities of his every end at the jerk her sudden hold had caused him, the fractured limbs felt jittery more than ever, and the insides doubled unavoidably. And even in this devastated, and unusually vulnerable state, he stood towering over her petite figure, her head, with the entire height could only barely have brushed against his chin, but it turned out to be his cheek as she stood upright and he did not. When the pain slowly receded, he begun to sense other factors - the softness of her fresh and fragrant tresses against his sprouting light stubble; the clasp of his hand assuredly over her genteel one, when officially she was the one supporting him; the femininity of her bosom that he perceived distinctly in its rhythm against the positively exposed solid of his chest.

But beyond this all, he saw etched on her face, an extremely beautiful face at that, every line that could possibly exist cast in concern... worry... even guilt... Angad was certain if she raised her eyes now, he would see it all reflected in them, crystal clear... for himself. And in all the urgency of his situation, the one thought that dominated his mind that instant was see her raise them, to meet his, up so close...

"Relax." He spoke hoarsely, in a single word, assuaging her anxiety, urging her resolve, tempting her dignity... All he wished for in it, was simply that she would look up at him, and she did, and it was all of what he had expected, and more. There was no explaining any of his actions, reactions, or thoughts, but fact was, her eyes had arrested him so completely this time, it left no scope to even entertain reason.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't... " she ushered in a whisper, and as she swallowed hard awaiting his reply, he forced his eyes away from noticing the inciting throbbing pulse of the nerve that ran long along her slender nape. They were much too close for comfort, but was he the only one affected? It must be... it had to be the occupational disadvantage of being in the forces. He was almost twenty six, and the long stretches of compulsive abstinence were beginning to feel like self claimed celibacy...
Oh how horrific a thought!

If Angad had not looked away that second, his question would have been answered without searching much further. For it was only in his abrupt withdrawal from the gaze they shared that Kripa realized the awkwardness of their position. She pulled away instantly, tucking at a strand that was not really lose, almost harshly and mentally she kicked herself. Only unlike him, for the lady she had been groomed to be, she shied away from any ideas of how the closeness had affected her,
or could

"I'm sorry," she said again, this time turning around with those words to walk to the car without having to face him right away. "I'll bring the car right up," she added, so he would know, she was not walking away from helping him. Not that she had to, Angad thought to himself, understanding her mix of emotions, for his own had been, he believed, stirred a tad more. A part of his conscious mind had not forgotten the big picture, and at this chance of his few moments alone, it promptly reminded him of his unfulfilled duties at the border.
He must, he told himself, reach at the very earliest... But the strange experience of this encounter was not something he could get himself to put aside. That when he was still in it. Oh what a day this was turning out to be, and it was, he reminded himself another time, the eve of 31st. What a way then, he smiled curiously in his head, to embark upon a new year...

He seemed to be in thought when she pulled the car up next to him, and not catching his attention with her mere presence, Kripa honked, lightly, which was a loud sound in the stillness that enveloped. When he was getting himself into the passenger seat, she knew he would never manage, or never within an entire lifetime and she got out to help him, which was a good idea. For this time, she did not in her panic harm him more than save. When he was settled in the seat the leg space it seemed apparent to her was far too cramped for him, but there was not much to do about it. Instead, she reached over and fixed the seat belt for him, then, almost exhausted from the little exercise in supporting a man so much larger than her, she exhaled loudly, hands on her hips before the sign of a grin on his face made her return to hasty poise.

"Erm... " she uttered, lightly scratching her forehead, "Are you okay?" He blinked his eyes in confirmation, the most painless way of communicating for now and she shut the door on his side, rather cautiously, before skipping back to her own. Moments later they were on their way. Still more moments later, they had been riding in silence. Which was more distracting than one would think, Kripa imagined to herself. For as she struggled with the car, the road, the dark and the worsening weather, his presence in the tiny space made her somewhat claustrophobic. But she told herself repeatedly to concentrate on the drive, and that alone. Although, every now and then, she stole glances from the corner of her eye, only to find him absorbed in thoughts of his own. Gradually, she begun to feel more at ease, and unknowingly, after a while she had taken to hum intermittently... the same tune, that had lingered from her afternoon at the studio.

Having been relieved of the unbearable endurance he had suffered some long hours, Angad's attention was inevitably taken up by what lay ahead of him. He wondered again how many of his men had survived and how many had, by some luck, reached the camp back... he hoped at least someone had, so the forces at the frontier knew of what had transpired on the highway in their absence. If they had sustained all but 72 hours, waiting every minute in the last 12 or so for the replacements to arrive, he didn't think the others would necessarily do too much better. And it would come to them as no pleasant surprise that an entire half segment that was meant to join them only few hours after they had been stationed to positions, may now in the all possibility either not make it at all, or make it in insignificant numbers.

At this point the car jolted over a bump of kind and Angad seethed audibly at the revolting pain.

"I... I'm... " he raised a shaky hand to her but the gesture held conviction and she did not complete the apology at the tip of her tongue. "Are you okay?" she asked instead, and once again he blinked in affirmation, after he finally looked up. On a sudden thought Kripa pulled over. Then turned around and rummaged through the contents, rather scattered, on the entire back seat. He looked at her, but weak from the labor in recovering, posed no questions. When she finally turned around to face him, however, the bottle in her hands did automatically cause not one but both his eyes to go up in curiosity. There wasn't a particular question to ask about the contents, for the label specified clearly enough 'Cherry Brandy'. But why she had something in stock... particularly in a
car... he mulled over his right to ask her. Evidently however, the question was an obvious one for she answered it herself.

"Naanu always has one in each of the cars... for bad weather days, land slides... avalanches... " She shrugged her shoulders at that, and he was glad for her to not have continued. With the instance that had nearly killed him, so fresh in his mind, avalanches were not welcome to form a part of his casual discussions for a while. As for the brandy, Angad wondered if this girl, and her resources, weird or whatever, were god's way of making up for all the mishaps his single day had seen... As he made to take it from her she held it back with unexplained hesitance, and on his questioning prompt she asked, in a voice that was clearly flustered, "I... erm... you... " she looked away, avoiding his eye, then said quickly in a rush, "You can handle your drinks can you not?" A rush of color flooded her white cheeks with a charming rosy pink and Angad really thought he would pull her to himself, and close, if but for a moment. Then the bottle in her hand and her question together made sense, and he knew cuddling her would be the worst idea ever. Distantly he marveled, in turn, both at himself for such thoughts, and at her for what she was driving his mind to...
did she realize? No! It was just this entire being so not himself... there was nothing more, nothing less. Without warning he grabbed the bottle out of her hand, before she could resist this time. And when she looked at him, he knew it was in expectation of an answer. He could have replied simply, but she was twisting so much in his system, unintentionally or not didn't seem to matter, somehow, he didn't find the need to go easy. Unscrewing the cap then, without looking at her he took one complete large sip. It burned the depth of his throat instantly, not a sensation he was new to, but today he hoped it would do more than just elevating him to a happy, suspended state.

To her, he said casually, "Lets see how that works out," before putting it to his lips again, and taking in a gulp larger than the first, almost double in volume. He lowered and found her looking at him with an expression that was indeterminate about what it wanted to be. Angad chuckled, then clicked his tongue, and said, "Stop fretting! I'm an army man for heaven's sake!" In a tone so patronizing that she faced away from him at the words, and decided this man was extremely hard to predict. Kripa just hoped she had not gotten herself into any trouble with the entire kind deed. Cause she knew, it was now too late to undo her impulse anyways - of letting a ragged stranger into the car... of offering him brandy to alleviate his pain from wounds that were too many and too gruesome and she still had no idea what had gotten him into this condition. Really, now that she thought of facts as just independent facts, they seemed the craziest most absurd whims to have fallen for. But... she couldn't deny how the perspective was quite another when the stranger in question was... 

If only her intuition about him, would not fail her. From the side of her eye, she caught him sitting quietly, a lose fist resting under his chin. The casual appearance of him was deceived, only by the look on his face, as his eyes stared without blinking at some point mid air, his focus on it seemed so intense Kripa thought the captain seated by her side may as well have simulated a battle field in the spaces of his mind alone...

And the drive continued as before. Not long after, as the silence prevailed, the cycle from before repeated itself, the only exception lay in those few times she caught him tip the brandy bottle to his mouth before screwing it back each time. To her keen eye, there seemed to be nothing misplaced in his demeanor that would indicate trouble post alcohol consumption, and it left her in some ambiguous sense of awe, for a third of the sealed new brandy she had handed him, was gone. An army man, her mind repeated what he had put up in his defense to rid her of doubts regarding his resistance, and at last she forced herself to stop being a prude. It was all going to be fine, he was a captain, and she was helping a respectable man from the forces, cause he was in real need. That simple! Soon after, as the drive continued to be by far uneventful, Kripa found herself humming the tune again.

Only this time, it caught Angad's attention. And once it did, he could hardly disregard this web of concurrencies.

When she was certain he had been looking at her for more than a few coincidental seconds, Kripa abruptly stopped humming, and turned to him with a raised eye. But he said nothing and she returned her focus to the road. It did not end here, because several tens of seconds had ticked away and she could still feel his eyes upon herself. After pondering over her options mentally she turned to him with an intention to confront, a brow cocked again. He just smiled, and it annoyed her that he was neither getting her point, nor making one of his own. If there was one thing that Kripa Aziz Sharma did not deal well with at all, it was being denied explanation when she expected otherwise. Warily her eyes traveled to the bottle in his hands, it was close to a half already. Not certain this was heading to any particularly favorable sequence of events, she looked back at him. Weirdly enough, even as she was working herself up into a mire of odd nothings, he, the one who was physically incapacitated to a huge extent, seemingly preoccupied, and realistically not sober, seemed to command easy control. 

"Is there something you need?" she asked him, tentatively. Angad clicked his tongue in denial. And she sighed impatiently. This time she looked at him, not the most patient way.

"Well what is it then?" Before he could answer however, Kripa, having been slightly distracted, had missed an uneven little patch of the dirt road, upon which the antique little thing now jumped slightly. She knew it sooner, not from feeling the jolt herself, but from the appearance of sudden countless tortured lines criss crossing his face as he wrinkled his eyes shut tightly, and a deep throat groan escaped him. Instantly Kripa turned off the ignition and turned her attention to him.

"Oh no!" she mumbled to herself soundlessly, and extended her hands towards him, but they remained mid air, unable to determine what use they could put themselves to. It did not last forever. Angad who was beginning to wonder what life had been like a few hours ago when the slightest of tugs didn't cause such unbearable tumults inside him, was practicing increased tolerance with each such unexpected jerk. Plus, draining all that brandy was finally bringing him some relief. He could sense, even as the wounds every one of them he was as much aware of as before, that the stabs of pain had become, just about bearable. When he looked up, he found, as he had had unknowingly expected, his savior girl staring at him bleakly, as he tended to himself and re-settled in the best position he could. When he had stopped showing both signs of activity and pain, she asked him the same thing she had, so many time already.

"Are you okay? "

"No!" He told her with a finality, "No, I'm not okay." She looked visibly abashed at his words and Angad got distracted from what he was going to say. Instead, at the forlorn look of her face, he found himself impossibly amused, so much that he broke into a light laugh. Which was such a horrible idea seconds after he had just sustained the car's jump. It had to be the alcohol working inside, he knew he was no where nearing a drunken state, but the rapid consumption had definitely loosened his nerves. And annoyingly, he
still flinched and winced and ground his teeth as the pain was stubbornly lingering. Kripa tried in a rather defeated tone,  "Are you... "

"NO!" he cut her off, with a volume higher than before, certain it was the brandy talking. With the certainty of this cause obvious to him Angad paused to breathe in deeply, and went on before she could avert his eyes, "I have a name, and much to your disappointment, it is NOT 'okay'." He had caught her off guard so completely, that it was almost too delayed when she realized what he had meant, and then as she frowned at him, most outrageously as she thought, she was certain he had as much as winked at her. Her mouth hung slightly open but was shut by his next words, "Its Khanna," he told her and she grudged him his cheeky tone in the condition he was, "Angad Khanna." he completed sweetly. In that one single sentence he had flipped his emotional state too rapidly, too many times, for her to make sense. And then, just before she turned to the car, he gave her a smile. Not sweet, nor sarcastic... just a simple smile, which, it appeared, must be characteristic of him. Once again, it put to rest all her edging doubts inside, but outwardly Kripa avoided reacting with a response and restarted her car.

"Ahem" Angad cleared his throat after some peaceful seconds had prevailed, hoping to start afresh, but when she looked strictly ahead, he leaned back into his seat, in the least discomfort he could manage and just looked her, knowingly. Then gave it another shot, "So that tune you were humming earlier.... " No reply. Angad shook his head ever so slightly with a mild grin. "Have I offended you?"

"You don't seem to care much if you did." she pointed out flatly. 

"I see I have," he concluded, and neither of them had looked at each other much. 

This, she recognized now, was the weirdest thing of all between this stranger Khanna and herself. It was not everyday that she went around being the real Kripa, which was to imply being unaffectedly candid, with strangers of one time. And strangers who were potentially tipsy at the very least... She didn't know if calling this guts was crazy, or justifying it as faith slash intuition was crazier. Angad observed the silent play of expressions on her face. When he saw her take a deep breath before nibbling onto her lower lip as she drove past a rather precarious point where a rock from the mountain side was jutting out too far, he had to agree he was underestimating her too much. 

On a thought he quipped, "You have a nice car!" and sure enough, it gained him what much else had failed to, an unwarranted look of complete attention, even if momentary, even if skeptical, even if, finally, outrightly indignant. Kripa narrowed her eyes at him before hurriedly returning to the road of endless perils. When she spoke, he knew she was intending for the words to project her displeasure.

"You couldn't be trying to mock my car." The threat in her words was apparent, and Angad wondered why he was being such an insolent jerk and driving fun out of teasing her. It was not guilt enough to remedy him for then.

"You didn't happen to think I could?"

"Surely you're not already so drunk as to forget who's car it is that you're so comfortably lodged in." Angad nearly laughed at this, but only nearly. Not from the fear of irking her more, but from how arduous laughing was for him. Instead he said, the immense tease in his tone studied and intentional, the brandy he believed was slowly coming along full swing,

"Oh yes I do! Between you and me, and there seems to be no third to disturb, there is only a single possibility of who would ever care to own a
lilac Baby Austin."

"Maybe I should throw you out of my car now." she said, and so seriously, that he couldn't help laughing, even for the pain. Only a second later he moaned, as expected, but his lips were still partly twisted into a grin.
Such irony, he thought, and gave himself a mental pat when she did not ask him if he was 'okay' this time. She did not, however, chose to remain quiet.

"Pray Captain, but I sure was wondering how you managed to look so beautiful?"
Ouch, he took her jab, as she shot him a wide bambi eyed soulful look, before turning to the road.

"
Captain?" he observed, there wasn't a slur in his words, yet, but they were, he could sense, beginning to roll more than needed, off his tongue; presently he made a point of emphasizing the tease in his question, "I see someone has been listening, and retaining my talks." There you go now, he delivered, since you insisted! When he was satisfied with sufficient rolling of her eyes at his jest, in the most unconsciously adorable way he'd think of, he continued, "And my beauty, I assure you, is not as effortlessly attained as it seems to have been the case for other people in this car... " It took her by surprise, greatly, so her facial alteration betrayed. Recovering almost too quickly for his expectation however, she said

"Are you
always this affronting?"

"Here I was thinking I had managed a rather smartly concealed compliment... " She blushed to the roots of her hair, cause now, he truly had been affronting, and it made him laugh. Or maybe the brandy did. In turn it made him writhe and struggle to survive another bout of what refused to be ignored even if it had undeniably subsided, and in no particular context yet from his obvious and only underlying concern, even with a slight dizziness swamping his senses, the battle field flashed before the shut eyes. Temporarily, it knocked him straight in the head and Angad couldn't believe himself to be indulging in such light hearted banter when he was missing in action where he was most needed. Involuntarily he sighed, agitated, helpless, desperate.

"Captain Khanna...?" he heard her concern, as from before. That she had addressed him by name instead, even if most formally, to quite an extent was so much more personable. He kept the smile limited to within his head, and looking back her, decided impromptu that he would push things just a little further with her, and watch.

"Angad." he told her, quietly. Firmly.

And even if she had proved more than once already how slow she was in interaction with strangers, she did understand the implication of this particular remark. Its double implication in fact - in pressing familiarity, and in seeking, she reveal her name to reciprocate. Kripa nodded, with what she hoped was neither too much, nor too little acknowledgment, without looking at him directly. Angad understood the predicament of her persisting reserve, but it still disappointed him at least a tad, that he had been unsuccessful, so long, at winning the trust of this fair maiden who seemed to be more than just an intrigue. Once more, there ensued a silence between the passengers.

Kripa concentrated on the drive. It was strange, very strange indeed, that her fidgety lack of confidence from before when she was driving alone had been replaced by a responsibility induced confidence. It had managed to soothe her nerves such that she was no longer thinking of how or if she would make it back home, safely. She tried to pretend believing it was her own doing, that she overcome her earlier unnecessary nerves, but the thought of the last section of the drive, after she would have dropped the captain to his destination was not as ready a thought as she would wish for it to be. She tried then to not think about that, for now.

Angad ran through his mind the events of the past few days, especially the past few hours. He wondered if it had been the distraction this girl had provided, or the brandy, or both, that his pain, for a while had been quite bearable. As of this silent moment, it seemed to him, that he could not concentrate on any thought for an entire minute without being revolted with agony in some part. He wished desperately he could inject himself with liberal amounts of morphine till he would truly be in complete bliss, devoid of any traces of the pain... he wished and tried hard to pretend that the pain wasn't there but the farce held for a few seconds at a time, he doubted he had crossed an entire minute so, yet. And inevitably, he found himself questioning again, what stroke of ill fate has destined for him and his men to suffer this disaster... before they could be of real avail to the country. One bloody avalanche... and... 

"I can look handsome when I haven't fallen some few hundreds of feet... " he said in a wry tone taking her briefly by surprise at having broken the silence without so much as a warning, and a choice of topic oddly revealing. Several quiet moments had passed between them, not uncomfortably, but he wanted to get back to making conversation. There was an easy sustenance and relief from immediate pressing issues at hand that he could do nothing about, if they kept talking. He saw the instant surprise dawn upon her features, which was confirmed when she looked him in the eye, and as had happened in his entire aimless interaction with this girl so far, he was tempted to cheeky intentions yet again, as he wondered if there was, even a dim chance that she had been taken aback was at the first part of his claim?

"You're not serious?" That, he evaluated, wasn't quite explicit. Even if, in all fairness, he knew what she meant. Contrary to which, he spoke,

"About looking handsome?" Her lips parted, no doubt to deliver another ready retort, but Kripa shut them instead and gave him a serious look. Her serious look, that is, and he paid heed only cause he did not want the tease to aggravate her into silence again. A light headiness was starting to unwind his stressed nerve ends, and he welcomed the comfort with thoughtless relief.

"About the fall of course
." She stated, redundant though it was for her expression had conveyed the message. He managed to look crest fallen, but she pointedly ignored the dramatics, or blamed it on, the obvious, and said, in the same serious tone, "You didn't actually... I mean... hundreds of feet... " Angad gave her a small, passive smirk.

"I'm fast discovering belief is not what you walk around wearing on your sleeve... " he replied indirectly, making two points at once, and to nail them both he broke the gaze she had held and looked ahead, gravely. It must have worked, as her next words indicated, as also did her quietened tone.

"I don't mean it like that Captain. But you might as well discover while you're at it, that I live less than 50 kms from the international border? Disbelief is a sort of geographic hazard in my case. A locational mutation of my genes... " Angad almost laughed before the thought of the pain it would cause had him stop. Instead he bared his teeth into a wide smile, and even with that, he only ill concealed, the stretched and strained muscles in and around the neck area. "Maybe you should exercise complete rest for a while," she advised, wisely, with a warm teasing note. He looked at her, tongue against his cheek, offering some disdain at the comment but she looked back saying or showing no more, and just the surprise of a stance so genuine and simple from her kept him quiet. 

Not long enough.

"I'm wondering why you agreed to give me a ride... " Kripa did not dare look him at this question. It had been the one she had no appreciable answer to. She shrugged her shoulders, then resigned to say what was the truth, however far fetched it may sound. 

"It was... intuitive... " She shrugged again, looking ahead all the while, "I... I was wondering myself... " she paused again, and frowned, not turning to him, but her eyes were decidedly not on the road. 

Something, he realized seconds later when she nearly forgot to turn around a curving path, and what lay straight ahead was a fall. Angad lunged forward, the urgency forcing him to ignore all inside him that rattled and displaced painstakingly and rotated the wheel, just in time, shocking Kripa to a paralysis of sort, which she broke only to turn off the ignition as the car swerved slightly over the soft snow, screeching in ritual, before coming to an absolute halt. She was so entirely unnerved, that as she let her face fall into shaky hands, Kripa thought she might cry. Which was what he saw when he faced her to hurl some stern words at her. Which were easily subdued at her frail temperament.

All horrific thoughts were put on hold when she felt a firm hand run through her hair falling lose, as the clip that had previously held them came undone. Her face shot up at the unexpected act from him and when she met his eyes, in confusion, and question, he gave her a strong smile cupped the back of her head single handedly, in gentle comfort.

"Relax... " he mumured soothingly, lightly rubbing and massging through her hair till she nodded. "Are you 'okay'?" He added seconds later and it was his insinuating tone that made her look up, and her smile was now cast as much in the lighter vein, but in his eyes she saw solemn interest. She made a face to not smile at his overt mischief, or the inert protection, and nodded. Then looking away from him she bent to grab the lose clutch that had fallen off, but she was taken aback when he held the wrist of her hand holding it, away from securing it again.

"Why would you want to do that?" he spoke as if
that here should have been obvious enough, but she was quite uncertain she understood what he meant. Do what? She was just going to re tie her hair and ... surely ... not ... right? She didn't know it was the confusion in her eyes that he sort to answer, or a liberty he took without warning her when he swept a pile of finger combed hair upon her shoulder, almost, preciously. Either way she was at a loss of perspective, numb for extracting the righteous reaction out of herself, not even blinking for what could transpire unknown to her if she dared.

He stared at her for some seconds, and when she did not shy her gaze away, he took it for enough to pretend by that she could sense what was coming, as he could. With a guiding urge in his grip of the back of her head through her silken tresses he pulled her to him. When their faces were only officially apart the distance between so stingy, she had shown neither submission nor resentment, and in all honesty he did not absorb himself long enough into correcting thoughts. Instead he couldn't but help stare at the creation of her features, she was a hell attractive woman, he wanted to say so much. But it could dispel this aura and he was happily under the spell she had cast so unknowingly... in all her naivety. Musing what it could be like to get used to all of it.

Angad smiled, his familiarity of it unfair to her virgin lack of knowing, just before tilting his face slightly and nestling in between the luxurious curtain of her falling hair till his lips, most sensuously brushed against the softness lower into the side of her neck. She gasped in the first of blunt reactions, and he knew as much from the restrain that held back her breath the same instant, upholding with it all of her that was in extreme vicinity of him into a tensed stillness. He did not withdraw, it was not a sign that signaled he should, and in conformity perhaps, as his lips remained, relentlessly, seductively lingering in contact, he sensed the return, and increased hereby, sweet pulsation ripple the sensitive spot which he now, softly kissed. 

He had to shift his head ever so slightly that it might as well have been a movement missed but for the current high physical alertness, to get a glimpse of her face. The forbidden wishful picture of it was so captivating, Angad thought for all his control here, she was still in lead. But her eyes were now lightly shut to not see what she was feeling as completely as he was and this convenient compromise in the act on her part mattered, enough that he would not accept. Inevitably his gaze traveled to her lips, enticingly parted, but he did not kiss them as he so badly wanted to, as she, no doubt, badly needed him to. Instead, yet again, he let his own come in contact and brush over them while murmuring in his husky, notorious drawl, "I've never kissed a girl without knowing her name." 

He wasn't lying, and Kripa heard it so in his voice, but what she heard more were his words, upon her lips. And to that her eyes flew open, suddenly aware of what she had blissfully chosen to remain oblivious to so it could happen without interruption. When she found her eyes looking back into his, she saw again, as she had the first instance they had met - the black color of them, so dark, and how unavoidable the glint in them still was. There was an additional unmasked sentiment that had flickered to life, and some dogmatic part of her mind announced to her in a way of preaching that it was her own doing, and the doing of the brandy she had willingly offered him to get high on. 

When she had remained unresponsive on the outside to the inundated rush inside her head, his stray thumb casually caressed, in a potent reminder, the spot on her neck he had kissed. That, which she had allowed him to kiss. She knew that instant, in absolute conscience that she ought to pull back now, but it took her a few seconds too many, of furious conflict between body and mind before she managed to, and that with an impolite jerk in her vastly overcome state. 

Angad silenced the hiss that would have betrayed him, and his physical pain with a harsh pursing of his lips as she released herself from his hold, and her eyes from his piercing gaze. When she did not speak then, he knew she wouldn't. And he knew better than to have, but without much prior consent from himself, his hand extended towards her and as also he should have guessed, she shied away from it before it could touch her. Angad swore mentally, withdrawing it to himself, and looked outside from the window on his own side. And rigidly grit his teeth. Uncaring of the pains that shot through his neck and upper back. 

There was some fumbling, then tinkering and a sound of its fall, the sound which told him it was the set of her car keys, and when he perceived movement next to himself, likely to retrieve the same, he looked in the direction most briefly. And caught her nonetheless, in her vehement act of wiping the back of her hand under her eye. Despite himself, the child like remorse of her action transiently mellowed the angst of his insult at her willful refrain of him. And he felt, in an uncanny moment, resentfully responsible for her grief. Her silent denial was bad enough, this silent acceptance of being wrong on her part was unbearable to his pride. 

Impulsively he turned to his door and tugged at the handle, which much to irritation refused to budge. He sighed, very impatiently. "Open my door." There was an order that rung in those low but sure words which expected only to be obeyed; distantly she justified it was the captaincy in him. But more consciously she sensed only shock, having ill recovered from their shared intimacy and to Kripa, his words sounded impossibly ruthless. She remained staring at the back he kept upon her, persistently, and when a couple of seconds had passed without him changing his mind, she reckoned he would not. But her return to activity was not fast enough and scaring her, Angad turned around, the glint in his eyes was now dangerously livid. Strangely then, when he spoke, she did not hear the same in his voice, which was, she had to admit, amazingly controlled. 

"Open the door for me please," he repeated his wish for her to hear. And concede. And although she would have asked something his eyes forbade her from speaking. She turned to the controls on her side and with only a second's delay clicked one. Then without turning around she mustered bits of her scattered resolve and started,

"Why .... " to only hear the opening of his door in response, cutting off the remainder of her question, and making her turn back to him hurriedly. That he had removed the binding seat belt off himself and was making his way out, slowed only by the effort that was needed, caused her to panic even if it was one word too less to describe her state. A harsh wind rushed in chilling the space between them and around, robbing its warmth away. And when he finally stood out of the car just before he could shut the door behind himself she called out, "Angad!", to his back, as it still faced her. 

He stopped. For a second, Angad Khanna, whether or not he would have willed, stopped to the sound of his name like he had no other time in his life. There was a way in which his mum would say it out when calling him, when he was addressed with this formal first name, a way only she could, and a way that he come to relate only with her. Coming from anyone and everyone else, Angad had only ever been that call one comes to recognize and identify oneself with and respond to spontaneously. And yet, as she had spoken it right now, he knew it had been... different... unique. 

"Where are you going?" 

The words broke his trance, and he debated over whether or not he should face her at all. 

"You can't go anywhere alone in this condition," she said, by way of reminding him of his constrain, which sounded something much like she was imploring. But what Angad heard in all of it was the can't, and that was a word he had not learned to obey. He did not reply, he did not turn back to her, but her took the first faltering step, wincing, then struggling to not make a sound that she would reach her. It wasn't easy, with the alcohol becoming rapidly ineffective. With the torrential gale and snow offering every form of resistance possible, that she wasn't. 

"Angad please!" She spoke behind him and he heard a shuffling, followed by opening of her door. At this second instance of hearing her pronounce his name he could think discretely, a single thought. "I request you to... "

"Who are you?" Cutting her off, he spelled it thus as she came around to face him. His expression inquiring, composed, impersonal. 

"I... " 

"You realize I don't even know your name?"

"Yes, but... "

"And you realize its only right for myself, a captain in the army to know sufficiently about the identity of a person who decides to bestow me with such generosity for no reason she can explain?" 

At this Kripa remained speechless. Even as Angad knew it was only one more of all those times he had, in face of all else failing, unintentionally used his infallible skill of debate, with an argument that he knew was as technically impeccable as it was in reality obnoxious, but one that could not be questioned back even if both parties were aware of its false premise. Despite it all, he stood facing her domineeringly, as if in a greater capacity to do so than was rightful. 

"You're doubting my integrity because I helped you without motive?" 

She did not look at him as she asked the simple question, but it threw him off guard completely. It was, as if, he could see her in a whole new light, with much greater respect, as a worthy contender would have for an equally worthy opponent. Except, there was a personalized admiration fast creeping into all of this that made her anything but an opponent. And in partial disbelief, as he went over her words in his head, Angad tried hard to convince himself that the girl he had evoked with a physical craving for himself inside the car minutes ago and this girl who had verbally over ridden, with a truth so undeniable, his impossible claim, was one and the same. 

And, he reminded himself bitterly now, he still did not know her name. 

"No." he replied, keeping it painlessly short.

"Then allow me to drop you to the base." 

He decided, yet again, that this girl was messing up his system badly. How was he to conclusively summarize someone who could trust herself with a stranger, who she could conceive of being compromised by in the tiny cramped car, but not trust him with her identity. He sighed, wearily. Then nodded. And even though it was she who had requested, and he who had agreed, he was aware she had won with having her way, and he was still the one indebted to her favor. Great! 

When the journey resumed this time Angad leaned his head into the side pane with eyes firmly shut and retired himself to get some sleep. It was the only safe way of sharing a ride with her. Kripa for her part was extremely quiet, concentrating on the driving with a might much more than was needed to keep her mind from wandering to any dangerous introspection for now. She was thankful for him to have found the best way to lay all confrontations to rest, but a teeny part of her desired, much to the disapproval of her wary instinct, that he would wake up and talk to her again, like before. And somewhere in her head rang the lyrics, true to her dilemma like she would have never expected...

"kya bura hai kya bhala hai
waqt hi shaayad khuda hai
ho jaane do phir dekha jaayega ...
"


Only with extreme caution she risked to glance at him a total of five times... until they had reached what in her estimate was mutually best.  

*********************************************
Edited by spln - 13 years ago
spln thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#8
Guns 'n' Roses

~ Chapter 4 ~


" Before I built a wall I'd ask to know 
What I was walling in or walling out, 
And to whom I was like to give offence. 
Something there is that doesn't love a wall ... ... "


(~ Robert Frost, Mending Wall)

Killing the engine she sat still for a bit. After his slow rhythmic breathing had assured her, Kripa discarded the sneak peaks by turning her full frame towards him. And took the chance of observing at leisure - despite all injuries to his disadvantage, the angular features as sharp as the male he was. His hair were disciplined and short but the rich texture of them unmistakable nonetheless, randomly she thought of running a hand over to feel them, but wisely kept the whim at bay. It was in the very end that inevitably, her eyes did turn to his lips, and instantly she felt a heat rise to her cheeks at the thought of their touch against her skin. Kripa snapped her gaze away, as if fearing the epitome of her desires to awaken his sleeping form and catch her in the act of secretly, darkly, admiring...  The brush of a movement alerted her however, and she turned back to him. The appearance of a deep crease across his temples, a disturbed stirring, were both symbolic that he was coming around. Perhaps from the interruption in the tranquilizing motion of the car.

"An... Cap... " she paused, then with some bold refute against caution, which really had never been one among her virtues, she spoke again, "Angad... ?" With a gentle tap over his shoulder. He stirred some more, she repeated his name and this time invisible slits peeped from his eyes until the next second they flew open. Wide. He scrunched them at first then opened them once and for all. And then just looked at her. 

"We're there." she informed him after a hint of recognition in his eyes was reflected for herself. He took in her words, then nodded. The short stint of sleep having surely and sourly rid him of tipsy respite, as everything came back to him, Angad felt worse than when he had woken up post the fall. To give himself time before looking at her, he shot a narrowed, studying gaze out of the windscreen ahead. Tentatively reaching out to clear the section on his side, but she moved ahead of him and cleared it with what looked like a dust cloth. The official insignia, the Indian flag, figures of armed men in uniforms greeted him beyond, and in a brief surge of relief he forgot the guilt and turned to her with a reflexive smile. Which spoke volumes for his gratitude, so naturally, that she couldn't but smile back, as an empathizing companion. Only for an instant, which passed, she looked away, and tucked one of the many strands that had fallen out face ward in discord. 

"Thanks!" he said quietly, taking an extra moment to look at her, as he believed was the last time he would, before moving his eyes back to the sight of where he belonged. Habitually his hand went to the handle of his door, which remained unmoved again, and he turned to her in expectation, faintly sheepish from the memory of the previously similar situation. 

"Child locking," she muttered, undoing the lock with a click. When she turned around to face him he gave her a smile that was curiously amused. "For me," she admitted, then thought it rather silly and added quickly, "From when I was a kid... its an old car.. you know... "

"I guess I do," he replied and she would have almost frowned at his teasing but he looked so easily pleased and it was such a welcome change from the past hour of the silent drive, she just smiled back, yet. A brief, quiet second passed. 

"An... "

"I... " 

They both started at once, then Kripa indicated for him to go first, and although this was, as far back as he could recall, the hardest words had come to him he was glad to be able to speak before anything she had to or would say. 

"I'm... I apologize about before." He saw her eyes rise worriedly, he guessed alarmed by what and how much he would say, then fall back as quickly, he guessed cause she would obviously rather not be having to look at him when he did. "I really do." he said quietly. Obviously she was giving him far too much credibility if she thought he would even delve into the details here. "There is no better way I can say it, and... " I guess the brandy was not a good idea after all, was on the tip of his tongue, but it would only have been a lame excuse. She wasn't looking at him at all and this once Angad was entirely uncertain about what she was thinking, wished desperately she would look up so her eyes, at least, would reveal something of her thought. Uneasily he rubbed a thumb over his temple, and said, "I don't expect you to understand but... I hope you can forget about it... " What he truly hoped was nothing of this last bit, he realized acutely as those words left him, and it only made his repenting speech a tougher task. "I'm sorry." And then without waiting for her reaction or reply he turned and opened his door. 

"Its Kripa," he heard her say from behind, it stalled his effort to get out of the seat as the two words made sense past some delay. And he turned back to her. Unknowingly he smiled, then at repeating her name mentally it struck him and he said, "Kripa... quite a name for you ... " She could not detest him for his persistent tease, specially because his eyes were a whole different message. As if they expected her to comprehend the obvious compliment, and accept it. 

"Kripa Aziz Sharma," she completed, and to no surprise of hers he raised an evident eye. She laughed in the delight of one who had it so seen coming. "Say it... strange name, eh?!" Angad simply shrugged, in agreement, his eyes fixed upon her smile. In a well rehearsed manner, of one too jaded, yet inevitably keen to be the wisest, she detailed out to him, "It was an inter caste alliance. Aziz is from Ami's name." He nodded as the answer stored itself somewhere inside his head, and he was intent only on studying her animated expressions until, too soon he thought, she did realize, making him look away. To pose otherwise, she bent over his seat belt to have something to do and released the clasp, but instead of just letting it go, lest it scraped any wounds in its recoiling, she stretched her arm to guide it back to its buckle. Cause her arm did not quite make it, she partially stretched over herself. 

And was instantly conscious of her mindlessness. Since there was no point in emphasizing the obvious, she completed what she had to before returning to her seat. And flustered she already was, a shrill ringing that second made her nearly jump out of her skin. Recognizing the tone belatedly, she fumbled to hunt her cell, managing to flip it just in time.

"H.. hello?" she managed, pulling the phone away for a glance, then spoke back into it, "Dad? What happened?"

"What happened? Why its midnight!" the voice on the other end was not an extraordinary volume, but Angad could make out the words for how quiet it was in the car otherwise. Hearing no immediate reply from her the voice continued, "Happy new year beta!" And it was such a spontaneous reaction from her, as her face relaxed into a small, but warm smile... Angad felt a tug inside.

And thought of his mum back home... and well, his father. Growing up was a different kind of love for your parents, more of where you begun feeling responsible, mature, and an equal part of everything. The expression on Kripa's face made him wonder if he was growing too fast. If he wasn't losing that right of being a young boy, a son to them who would be parents no matter what, too early.
Whether or not they were around for you in person...

"A very happy new year to you too, papa!" her voice brought him back. "I'm glad you called." It came just like that.

"Of course I would Kazi!" the voice on the other end endeared. "Naanu wanted to stay up but old man, I told him he wont last until 12... " There was laughter, and Angad saw Kripa's smile widen.

"Dad!" she said in loving reproach.

"Yeh me! Anyways, why were you distracted before?"

"I... was... ahem ... " Angad saw Kripa shoot a quick side look at him, to which he immediately warded by looking away before seeming a pry. But her next words had him look right back at her, without covert pretense. "I was ... sleeping ... " He heard her say, in what was a sure drop of volume.
Did she really think he'd miss that? The expression that accompanied her blatant lie was priceless and Angad had to make considerable effort to not laugh out loud. Yet. "I'll see you soon Dad! Good night... " she left it that, in what sounded to him more of a request that the call be ended by her old man on the other side. And although it was likely to have puzzled the girl's father, Angad could make a fairly good guess about the rush. What he did not understand however, was the lie itself...

She didn't look too old, but surely, she was no teen sneaking away from home now, was she?


"I'm just... just tired. Love you dad,  bye!" and she hung up.

"Ahem.." he cleared his throat, after a second or so, then faked a cough, which was a complete wreck of an idea to provoke cause it obviously became a groan of pain but when she faced him the grin had, still, not been replaced sufficiently. She just looked at him, saying nothing as her fingers fiddled among themselves till she had his attention undivided. Then in a serious voice she confessed,

"I don't go around lying to my family like that but I couldn't tell them I was driving back in this weather," Looking up with a pause she added in justification for him to see, cause he must, "They would have been so freaked out you know?!"

"I'm sure," Angad replied gravely understanding, then added in the same manner, "But hey! I wasn't asking." And the grin that had been itching to come was whole hearted this time. She glared at him.

"You think I'm silly." She stated in complain.

"You're saying that, not me," he said between laughs, and groans, "You're a tragic liar though." and then pausing he added, thoughtfully, "I bet your father didn't buy that." At this Kripa was offended, indignant, and fairly angry.

"Oh yeh? And you would tell me more about my father than you'd think I know?"

"No." he agreed, and that was it. She thought he would come back with something more to mock but it really was just that. 

"I should be going," she said. But before she had even put herself to fetching the keys he circled her wrist firmly. 

"You don't think you're driving back now by any chance?" She looked at him unsure. "Not after I know something about that big picture of lying at home... " She would have retorted but he did not seem to be joking at all. "Someone from the camp shall drive you back." He announced turning to open his door.

"But... "

"Lock the car and come with me."

"Angad!" He could have almost smiled at the commanding note in her summon, it was obviously not intimidating, but, disheartening her attempt would be so mean of him. He turned around with a raised eye. "You're forgetting it was me who drove you all the way here, safe and sound." she pointed promptly. 

"I will remember to thank god for that. Hurry up now." And this time he had managed to get both his legs out into the rough weather. Within seconds she was on his side of the door holding her hands out to help him. When he finally stood up, momentarily leaning against the car to recover his breath from the exertion of hauling himself out, even with her help, she spoke up again.

"My house is just 15 minutes from here. I decided it was okay to put you at the camp closest from home, so you don't ... "

"Let me do it Kripa." he cut short her rant. "I'm sure you can manage 15 minutes and all that, but let me get you dropped back, for my peace of mind." Although there was in his tone, an obvious message that the decision had been made, Angad did await her to approval. 

"Alright." She consented at last. And before any more could be exchanged between them, a uniformed man, having observed outsiders, had appeared beside them. When he saw Angad's face however, Kripa noticed an instant recognition and immediately he delivered his formal greeting, as to a senior. Which Angad, owing to his condition could return only with a stiff nod. 

"We got news of your charge Captain." He said with a grim condolence, then with a faint smile he added, "But we should not have underestimated ..." Again, Kripa did not miss the personal note of respect. He was a Captain, which was not that high up in military denominations. But that he seemed to have earned among his peers more than the rank already made her a proud sort of happy. Like one would be at the achievement of a close someone... she didn't bother herself with why

"Nope, still hanging around!" Angad joked with no reserve. It was when the corner of his eye detected a slight flinching of her expression that he made to quickly change the topic, "Get a jeep and driver ready, someone needs to drop Miss Sharma home. She lives close by." The man for the first time turned his attention to her, with a formal nod for a greeting. Then, as his eyes moved away she saw brows rise slowly, abruptly, and fall.

"And the ... the car, Captain?" Both Angad and Kripa followed his gaze.

"The car... err... " Angad caught Kripa's warning eye, challenging him as if to show the least scorn or disrespect to little prize and face consequences. Not like she had to, it was impossible to have missed her possessive streak for the Austin. "I'm sure you can tow it back with the jeep?" It was a wise call. She would have shown no consideration to his rank and stature if he had demeaned or dismissed the car. And there was no way he could expect anyone on his team to drive back that thing. It would be exploitation of a junior, clearly. With the exchange of some more quick instructions, including, medical aid that Angad would need be sent for immediately, an urgent message be wired to the border  informing the Captain in command of Khanna's return, an assurance that no, he did not need men or a wheel chair to walk to a tent, that yes, some food would be good idea, that yes more clothes would be even better and that yes also, pain killers would be bloody brilliant, the man was finally sent away. Granting the pair of them some final moments together, alone. 

"So whats it like at the border... I mean, as bad as the news scare?" 

"It fluctuates," Angad reasoned. And to both of them, it did occur how their entire encounter had been so devoid of anything so normal as this obvious small talk, and everything out of line unexpected. "Thanks Kripa! I shall remember you by." She did not reply promptly, nor did she look at him. Then, tentatively she said, 

"I hope... the country hopes, you all shall be victorious." Angad gave a short laugh. And a groan followed, of course. 

"I'd have thought we were past such obligations."

"It isn't obligatory." she said quietly, "I will pray for you." Angad nodded, not knowing what to say to this solemn stance. It was yet another new shade she had unveiled. "You'll take care of yourself?" At this question from her Angad clenched fists, to keep his hands to himself, ignoring the pains. 

"Look up," he told her, but she didn't, "Look at me Kripa!" And she did, to the tough tone he had used. For some moments, he said nothing but looked at her straight, intently, making it very hard for her to meet the gaze but he had forced her to keep it up without having laid her finger.

"If I return from this... " he paused, just before the word war was spoken, not wanting to sound ominous. It was a word he avoided using in general, there were better ways to promote morale among soldiers, and lesser ways to diminish it. "When I return from this entire affair at the border, can I come see you?" She was quiet, for what he thought was a long time, before replying.

"If you want to... "

"Yeh. I think I would want to very much." he said, unlike her, having to think none. "Great! I will come see you then." He broke into a fresh smile, for them. When they were quiet the next few seconds, it was weird silence. They each wondered how to react and reflect a gesture to seal this 'agreement' between. The howling of the gale all around them became evident as if it had only just happened. He looked around to see signs of how fast his orders were being processed. And found that she had folded arms snugly across her chest when he turned back to her, head lowered into the collars. 

He cast a quick glance at the camp site again, before facing her. Lightly, he raised a hand and brushed off the snow flakes that were sprinkled like grain salt over the top of her head. When he ran the same fingers through dense lovely strands slowly, she had to look up at him and unknowingly it drew her feet towards him, closing on the gap. Angad raised his other hand and cupped her face gently with both. Looking at her caused him to experience, at the same time, a yearning of adult passion and an affection in pure protection. 

"You're not like any other girl I ever knew," he confessed to her. 

"How many have you known?" There it was again, the innocence so blunt that it made him want to own her like a possession, and pamper like a kid. Angad groaned at this tormenting mix of emotions. Kripa, as he should have known, misjudged it to have offended him. "You don't have to tell me," she said hurriedly, then on an afterthought added, "Yet." Angad laughed at her self assumed maturity, then shook his head at himself. 

"Oh boy!" he muttered in an undertone and found her casting him a curious frown. Instinctively he pulled her to himself, nothing good for his ailing injuries, but the compelling urge inside had him in utter disarray. As suddenly as she had been pulled, Kripa found her lips captured into a bold kiss. Bold and consuming. She faltered in response, her senses frenzied by the demand of his gesture and a loss of knowing her part... But he wasn't waiting for her to catch on, and the pace of it seemed to guide her like instructions couldn't have. He sought her response with a singularity of proposition that she succumbed to in feeble readiness. The craving wore into deeper passion and then into heated breathelessness. When she was nearly faint, the intensity yet alive, the liplock abruptly broke and she let her fore head hit his cold chest, eyes shut, exhausted fingers curled onto the battered lapels of his blue jacket.

Leaning quite certainly into him, it was moments before a normalcy had been restored in her wildly beating heart and erratic breathing. She felt him fuss with her hair, pet her head and drop some gentle kisses atop. There was a strength in his gentle rubbing of her back and shoulders... but when her arms dropped slowly to encircle his waist, a shudder escaped him, and she pulled away in concern of recalling he was severely injured. Only, he held her back sufficiently. And before she could have spoken, he did.

"Now I become answerable?" She looked confused, "About the many girls before?" She wouldn't have wanted to but she hated him for such a mention at this instant.

"No." she told him agitated. "I don't care to know." And then she just fell back against him and hugged her arms around him without paying heed to his wincing. With no more to say to him.

"Kripa!" he groaned, at least part in genuine pain, "I fear I'm liking you too much too soon... "

"I've been told I'm very likable." she tossed at him still hugging.

"You are my dear, you certainly are... " he murmured and embraced her back finally. Surely it wasn't but a couple hours or so ago that he had met this girl? For all talks of destinies and fates, Angad was coming close to admit, this one had him thoroughly cornered. He was crooning sweet nothings to a girl, such a stranger, and his logic had battled to all but fail; so much that he was leading her on with actions and words alike. What if he woke up tomorrow in regret... or worse, disconcern... 

In mounting ambivalence he whispered to her, "Someone's going to show up any second..." She took an entire second, then with practiced caution withdrew her embracing, tiny arms. There wasn't a question or protest in her silence. As if on cue a man came up right then.

"Captain!" he saluted smartly. "The engine is running and ready to go." Angad saw Kripa nod at him, and smile some at his junior.

"I am too," Kripa told him. And looking back she said, "Good luck Captain!" A sincere wish. And with that she had walked away, led by his man. She had an urge to turn back once and see if he was there, watching her go, but she did not. This entire encounter had an enigma about it that she could not resolve, and somehow she knew he could no better. Something had happened in this day of her life. Something that had only begun unfolding, or already been wrapped up...


Angad saw her small form become smaller, till it had disappeared within the huge military jeep. There had been over a minute that it had stood, while her car was hooked on securely, during which he wanted to walk up to her window and have a final word. Happy new year Kripa, he wished her mentally instead. Wondering if the significance of this new beginning had anything in it for them... perhaps he would wake up tomorrow and still think of her... after all...

The snow fell softly, spirtedly upon him where he stood - a glwoing white. He looked up to it and some flakes fell right into his eyes which he blinked at grinning. Not far away, as the jeep begun its ride, Kripa saw the flurry of flakes they were driving into - the countless stars again - and upon each one she made a wish, a wish she wished would come true! ...

****************** the end *******************


Edited by spln - 14 years ago
spln thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#9
Yet again, thank you everyone who liked this piece and voted for it! Never Gone winning in the Over FF categories was much a surprise, considering there was no TRP hauling factor involved in its writing 😆 and again, for my record, and for keepsake, the awesome siggie i won from it:




11/23 ... PS: A wandering muse. Cause like all those on this forum who say, and all those who say not, i don't really have a life, do i? ;)


 ~ Never Gone ~



But never either found another
To free the hollow heart from paining-
They stood aloof the scars remaining,
Like cliffs which had been rent asunder;
A dreary sea now flows between;-
But neither heat, nor frost, nor thunder,
Shall wholly do away, I ween,
The marks of that which once hath been.

Seth, Vikram; An Equal Music

Its five to six. I did not see the clock, my eyes are still shut even though I'm wide awake. I don't have to. Its habit. A habit different from all others I ever had since never actually did I attempt to inculcate this one; quite the contrary. But for the last few months - yes I know the exactly how long down to the seconds but don't bother yourself with such irrelevant details, there are one too many - it has never not happened. Cliche as this sounds, the sun could forget to shine, and it has for me I believe, but I beat the alarm by exactly five minutes every morning. The hollow inside has begun to fill itself with a backward count.

Its 6AM now. The count is over. I hear it, our song, blaring through the hi-fidelity Bose speakers attached to the opposite walls, either side of where I lie. It plays everyday, because I've programed it to. This, is my daily alarm.

"I wanna be a rockstar..." Dutifully my eyes open to those same lyrics, without much hope awaiting the day I would feel like one, again. 

I read somewhere, what seems like a long time ago, that every problem is like taking a cold shower. Its about surviving the first 30 seconds. Multiply that by a factor of ten for me. My eyes remain firmly shut during those first 300 seconds of every morning because officially I should still be sleeping. Also, because I know I'm not. Because I know another day has dawned upon me. Because I know the other half of my bed is cold and empty. Because I know if I look at it right away tears wont not threaten me. 

When I finally do allow myself to rise to the morning, I know I have survived 'one more cold shower'. And after I have my pair of glasses on I make myself look at the forbidden half of my bed. Unused, perfectly made, unslept in.

When we were together, she complained there was never any room left on the bed for her. That I would occupy a space worth a kingsize as if it were a twin. That it was impossible for her to budge an inch of the bulk of my taut muscle and that she had not managed to catch one decent night of sleep hence, since we had been a thing. I would tease and love and say it was the intention precisely- nights of sleep were out of question between the two of us. She would turn shades, a whole range of them but that is another detail you shouldn't bother yourself with. By the way, it was only half the truth. I believe if there is one thing about her I can never tire off, it is the sight of her sleeping. 

Now she isn't here. If she was to come and see her half as it looked each morning she would say I have changed. I guess I would agree. 

Twenty five minutes later I walk out of the bath, freshened, showered, shaved. Ten minutes later I walk out of the room dressed for work. The fast food joint by the corner of the street where I live, is mine. I run it greater hours than is norm in this small town which is now my home. Mostly cause its a source of greater distraction, even as the scope for escape is always limited. At the end of each day, I have to return.

Occasionally I have heard people rave about how this eat out has become a sort of tourist attraction in this otherwise remote area. Some tease and say that part of the reason is me, at least for the fairer chunk of my clientele. Its the profession I had once envisioned myself in. But turning to it as a means of career now, after that not so brief hiatus in pursuit of greater glam, it almost surprised me how much I still enjoyed cooking... experimenting... playing host, in this entirely new fashion...

If she was to come and see, she would approve. I think she may even be proud of me. That is the way she is. I make the thought my constant motivation.

When I shut the bedroom door behind me, I wish I could leave the memories inside with the other pieces of furniture. But, like every day they travel with me, every place I go. 

**************************************
The driver said we would have to stop till either the roads or the weather clears out, which ever first. He said the snow storm is harsh and the highway looks treacherous; there has been news of a few nasty slides on the route ahead. The layers I am wearing to keep warm, having been betrayed by the car's engine, are somewhat in vain, but feel like they outweigh me by at least a couple kilos. A ghost of a laugh escapes me, it had been a source of never ending jest in the past, my 'lack of' weight - a tiny waist, two tiny feet, and limbs others, so fragile they may come undone at the tiniest tug - a jest in the cover of which had been an admiration, that made me feel feminine, precious, beautiful... engulfed especially those times as when I would be, within the possessive warm bear hug, a feeling of being pleasantly dwarfed, taken care of...

The wind hurts my throat which feels parched in that quick moment I swallow it in. I end up choking, my eyes water slightly and when the tears roll down I willingly let them trace briefly warm trails. Over this warmth a repeated contact from the wind is unbearably frigid, worse than a moment ago. I burrow my cheeks into the high collar of my coat, tighten the inside flannels about myself to dodge as much as possible. And fight what remains empty inside, missing, seeking, the loving embrace.

His embrace.

These parallels I can't stop drawing remind me of that short span of his presence in my life. Of how a cozy interlude between the cold periods is far worse than a consistency of suffering from the latter. When you once known a comfortable shield, you miss its lack far more than having never been privy to its existence. I inhale deeply, a second mistake that turns my nostrils painfully red. Another laugh, soundless still, gives expression to my self targeted mirth. I never learn lessons the easy way, do I?

"There is a small restaurant two streets down madam, a recommendation by some locals," my PA informs me. I nod consent and follow him.

Its rather early for meals, but coffee would be great. And the thought of warmed interiors feels like a preponed offer to heaven. Its been a long drive over the night and we still have some hours to go. I guess the unintended stop has gone in favor?

The piled inches of snow are a trek, but my thoughts have occupied me enough to bother any further. Besides, there is a state of numbness once crossed, makes us immune to the worst. I believe I'm past mine.

*****************************************
"Someone's pretty in pink!" I observe in greeting. 

Its the same that she wears everyday, for work. But the long deep red hair are styled with passionate precision it seems, into shoulder length curls today, pinned high and worn lose underneath. Her nails are freshly treated, and the improvisations, a result of carefully done make up, don't pass me unnoticed donned even if by her daily uniform. I've long trained a keen eye for such intricacies, courtesy my previous profession. 

"You think so?" Here's what is not made up at all. The unusual shine in her eyes and a smile which stands wide in denial to the frigid morning hour outside, where the light has still not quite managed to dispel the darkness of the night skies. Her childlike excitement is cue enough. I let out a low whistle in response. To which, outwardly, she rolls her eyes, grown up as if in an instant. 

"Morning handsome!" There is a clear dismissal intended, but it sounds quite the opposite.

"A rather 'early' morning?" She giggles at my persisting query, even blushes before turning back to organizing the cabinets. But does not answer. Especially the emphasized bit.

She is Marie, my only help in running this place. Shes completing high school at the end of the next academic year, and aspires to become a model sometime. Not a rare dream for pretty young girls, I suppose. Except, in an unbiased appraisal, I believe she has makings of one, more than many I have known.

Marie is unaware of my past, and I have let it remain so. Not to save myself a reputation, I couldn't care less now when it doesn't matter. But sharing my guilt is an unfair redemption, cause I know in her I will find a sympathetic listener, one who will make me believe it was just a human mistake. A mistake I should leave behind me in life and move on without. But mistake is not the word here, I'm not going to pass off mine as one. And moving on... the suggestion alone is cruel humor. 

So, I let her believe I'm the good guy. Its a hard hitting self acquired penance. The irony of how far from reality it stands is my daily doze of realization and regret. It rots me inside a little more everyday, sometimes intolerably, when I see a consistence in angelic perception of myself in another's eye and know it would crumble when put to test. I want to yell and confess the sins I bear, I want to tell them where I really stand, I seek to be condemned and not consoled ... but redemption is far. Its an albatross I must keep. I let their love of me fuel my hate of self. And smile through it.

"He asked me out... " she says in a whispered hush, and pulled out of my reverie I see the color that has infused her cheeks overshadows the shade of her rogue. She is a pretty girl indeed. I fold my arms across my chest and she completes, "For dinner." 'He' is a guy she has been eying for a month, what she doesn't believe when I tell her, is that hes been at it much longer.

"So you need an early off?" She frowns slightly at my note. Its blank, and I know she had expected something better, anything at all.

"If thats... alright with you... yes... "

I nod and turn my back upon her. A nod which says 'yes, I'll consider'... not 'yes, of course!'. Facing the brown tinted mirror running the length of the wall behind the counter, I observe her reflection as she stands staring at my back, visibly in disbelief. And just so she should not catch it in a similar reflection, I lower my head and sneak a smile away. The chimes on the door call for a sweet sounding interruption. I don't look up, or turn around, tell her instead,

"Go get it,"  Not missing her glare before she walks out on me. Certain she is out of earshot, I chuckle lightly - first times come once, and once alone - then, I sigh to myself.

And unlock the drawer only I can, to stare at its sole content.

A vision of our first time never fails me. I'm glad I had the sense(less-ness) then to capture something I could procure as a memory of it forever. She never knew about this shot, not even after we were together - my little secret it so remained. I had gotten it off on my cell when she wasn't looking, sitting across from me on the table we only happened to share courtesy some common friends.
As to what had prompted me to this rather unbecoming and exceedingly embarrassing act, was I to be caught at it, is something I can explain only about as much as I could reason out the feeling that kept growing as the hours that evening grew late, of why until that day we had remained mere fellow artists. Unknown to each other, in the same industry, in all real aspects of knowing. In some sense, we had so agreed during the later courtship, that it could be called a blind date. And if someone had told me before that evening of the premiere party it would be hence that I'd meet her, the woman I shall love for all my years after, I would have scorned the idea. The pursuit that had followed, I would have believed even less, realistically as it had been most utterly unlike-me. And yet, I don't recall having had second thoughts about my impulses, about the chasing, about the near stalking... till she gave in.

Sparing the gory details, in fact, it was a precise fairy tale story. Boy met girl, sparks flew, boy fell in love... girl said yes, the world seemed new, they lived happily... Yes, that simple, sparing the gory details. 

I blink to clear the timeless haze in my eyes and focus back on the photograph in the drawer. It edges have aged slightly but I think I prefer this to the brand new glossy feel.

I remember it was the first thing I did much later that night, by definition, early morning, after unlocking the door to my reasonably equipped apartment, far though, from its successor in a posh part of the metro in the months to come. Transferring the shot to my laptop, and producing an instant glazed hard copy of it, only one. Before deleting it from the phone, for good. The urgency, I dare say, resulted mostly from my strained conscience. For giving way to an urge had been one thing, being intimidated by the probable consequences quite another. H
ow I survived the anxiety that moment she turned back around as I hastily hid the cell away, was in gravity, far more than the numerous times, additively, of facing my mother after having sneaked out late hours. And although the abrupt rise of tension had mellowed shortly after, in the face of her smile, as the chat became increasingly involving; the apprehension of it had persisted at the back of my mind. As a result, the proof of my guilt, carefully tucked away, was also switched off lest it had to be brought before her eyes for any reason. A baseless fear - it wasn't as if she would have snatched the wretched thing out of my hands... even if she had reason to be suspicious, no, she would not have. She isn't characteristically timid, but I can confidently declare, she is hardly affronting by nature. (I sigh). The extra precautions then, I reckon, came solely from understanding the recklessness of my act, and my own need hence to keep its knowledge to myself. Right up to when we had to part for the night, when lightly (and promisingly in some way) she hugged me. It was a sentiment, so transient and lasting at once, I wish there had been a way as easy to save it as another tangible imprint.

There never was, never has been, another time in my life an attractive face could arrest much more than just my attention. I guess it was a sign then including that little whimsical stealth, which remains to date unknown to her. It wasn't as if she had indicated wishing to get rid of me. I'm sure if I had requested an honorable shot together she would have not denied. Except, this was... is, unlike any other... my unique, priceless capture.

I smile at her eyes staring back at me, in a daze of the past... until it strikes me. And I continue staring back, not daring to blink, at the identical pair of eyes. Only I'm aware it isn't the picture anymore, or am I? Its the mirror my gaze has moved up to, as I stand facing it, where our eyes meet.

Expression is lost upon me, as is discrete emotion, unknowingly, my breath is held up, suspended, for several couples of seconds that tick away. It is only when a loud howling gale outside clashes against the thick glass panes creating discord, much subdued, alas! - managing to reach my ears - that I'm jolted to reality. Instantly, I turn around. There is Marie, and there is a man. Both in conversation. I stand paralyzed, a singularity in judgment no longer mine. Not knowing what to believe - that I had seen her? Or... ? Was the vision of those eyes simply... chimerical? In my head...

Furtively, I turn back to the mirror for answers, and it reflects only disappointment. Understanding evades me easily.
My mind indicates the impossibility of the former, rules out the possibility of the latter. Naturally it disturbs my equilibrium, gravely. I lick my dry lips, then run a shaky hand over the moistened mouth. Clench the same hand into a fist and click the knuckles, one each, in turn. Force myself to inhale deeply, once.

Out of desperation for some explanation, I turn around again, a last time...

***************************************

ps: aite! its, like the pre note says, a random thought... that *sheepish* i dreamed of some two days before 18th oct '09 (yeh nij, see what i mean! i wasn't kidding... there was something, after all! :D)

anyways... no names... cause! well... i don't think i need names here. just that!

and... erm... its not a series, essentially i had hoped for it to be a single part only...alas! thats too much to expect of myself. so, one more part, i reckon... if u like it just here, this much, i can leave it! :) (read: COMMENT and let me know, EXACTLY what you think!)

erm... also, technically i have spent under 48 hours aggregate on this piece (which is, trust me, VERY good by my usual procrastinating standards) ... but in days the number, i fear, is rather shameful.. 😆

still, nij, this one was for u... us :) and that remains. i did promise it would come, in its delayed time, but! (of course, in recent premises over u-know-what u and i dont completely agree... far from that lol! but! like we DID agree the other day, the final outcome matters... and that, we concur upon... without doubts! SO!! be patient, gime time to close this... :) ... the RIGHT way!

until then, hope everyone, who reads, enjoys it... hopefully also, for once, the number of views on a thread i open will be in SOME fairness proportioned to the number of comments received 😆 (humbly, i shall appreciate the effort very much!)

and now, ciao! enjoy!

cheers,
nj
Edited by spln - 13 years ago
spln thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#10
12/02
Pre Note#1:  i guess i can call this a Prologue-Epilogue something... of sort! :D enjoy reading!
pn#2: i had intended for the 2nd so i shall just be happy believing my calender is losing an entire day (or more)... too bad, i can never keep dates... also, if its not asking too much, go back read 'prologue' ... as revision exercise! :D

~ Never Gone ~ (contd)


I see the face staring back at me. I see them eyes, I ought to know as my own - they are like a stranger's. I try to recognize the expression in them - they refuse to serve the cause. I try to gather my train of thoughts - it seems derailed. An unannounced sharp intake of air, perhaps on account of stalled breathing, is something of a half cry, in the face of many another unadmitted reactions... before I shut it with a hand. The effort involved in not blinking, as I continue to stare and search the eyes staring back, is unconscious and I realize it is so when they begin to feel dry under the strain... and sting... and moisten.

Before tears can carry me away, far and deeper into this rising surge of vulnerability, I avert my gaze from the mirror, in this ladies washroom. Blink rapidly a couple of times, then return to the reflection. A familiarity kicks in, this time round, I recognize it as my own.

I had just seen Him.

Weakly, I run a hand, even as my fingers shake against whatever resolve I seek of them to abide by, through the soft tangles of my tresses. The comfort it offers is non committal. With the edge of my little finger of the right hand, I wipe the smudged edges of kohl underlining my eyes, leaving only a disciplined streak in place. Unfortunately, this goes on to pronounce the emptiness of my eyes. Pun intended. It reminds me, why unlike my usual look from the other life, I've taken to routine eye make up in this one. I smirk, and impossibly, it resembles a deformed smile of sort.

He was... here...

My lips part to take in another lung full of air, cause I have finally begun to register symptoms - physically, it feels as if I were stabbed... and punctured, inside - leaving a thin line in the place of my mouth. I proceed to exhale in the practiced, yoga style of deep breathing. But, not surprisingly, this daily calming exercise does little good to my nerves ends which are fast picking up. Nervously I lick at my lips and find them cold, dry. For something to do, I rummage though the deep pockets of my coat and the search stops when I retrieve my fruity lip balm. Dabbing it generously over my lips, in the process trying to steady my fingers, which still suffer from shakiness. A stray brush of my thumb on the underlip flashes a bright image from the past and the balm stick slips out of my fingers instead causing me panic, to catch it before it falls to the floor and breaks the decorum of silence in this temporary, so far undiscovered hideout of mine. By some miracle, I succeed. Abruptly however, owing to the rush of adrenaline in that mere second, I can hear a pounding heart echoing off my drums, and for all lack of logic that maybe, it does occur to me in a fleeting apprehension if its loud enough to be heard... outside.

Stop it! I scream at myself, mentally, and shut my eyes tight. Painfully tight. For several seconds, as I reel from the several just past.

It is him. He must own the place, slowly, I arrive to the obvious conclusion. A restaurant, of course. Just something he would involve himself with. A window feebly shudders against the howling gale outside and I open my eyes. He was living here then, in this town? (I have kept myself away from news of him...) How long? (
Although, I know, there hasn't been any.) Why did he... I sigh... move to this 'nowhere'... It is the onset of an inevitable - of multiple possibilities, of related thoughts...  memories... at a second flash of a vision of us, I'm decidedly alarmed. Determinedly then, I resist temptation to analyze further, for now. Rub my shoulders, rather vigorously, and brace myself. I face the mirror again. The frown lines run deep. Methodically, from the countless times that have trained me, I work at easing them out, leaving a straight face, imperceptible, I hope.

I can't immediately condone being brought to this moment of test. But I have steeled myself over the time for it precisely, even if, with every uneventful day that passed in this respect I told myself it was possible I shall never come to it. Now I have. The sight of him was just a shock. I did not see it coming. Impulse was unavoidable. Why I dropped to my feet seeking shield behind the table for four, pretending fuss with my boot when he turned around; why I let myself in through this door when he turned his back upon me again; why it wasn't the main door I dashed out of instead? - are questions I answer hence. But shock has been overcome, and before it is completely replaced by a realm of explicit after realizations, I must see myself out of this place.

His place.

This time, the hand I run to smooth my hair is subservient to command over will. Encouraged briefly, I even attempt a smile, which I discard almost instantly. The affectedness of it is such a give away. Besides, I wish to insinuate nothing for his understanding, convey no messages to him. No exchange, no conversation, not even a silent one, I want nothing. Except to walk out of here, a place I have walked in to, under the most conspiring stroke of luck.

I open the door and there he is. Standing before me. Face to face.

His knuckle bent into a knock that was likely to have sounded if I had delayed another second. It remains suspended mid air for as long as I hold his gaze. Which, even though in theory isn't as long as the eternity it feels like, I still believe is a commendable stand up from me. It is in repulsion to, I reckon, the idea that he considered the possibility I could be hiding from him, that his consideration was bang on as I had indeed let myself into this washroom the first instant I could flee from his sight, and that this now feels like a blow, much less mitigates any part of my anguish. His eyes, despite the veil of light colored contacts, which I notice and wonder about distantly, hide little of his disbelief. It is when they begin to display other emotions, which bare traces of susceptibility, that I finally look away. With what I hope is indication enough that he remove himself from the frame of the door and make way.
I was never the one to appear too strong, even though I credit myself to be more than would meet the eye. But the tumult I have caged inside is sending increased alerts of snapping its taming leash, and I can't help but look back up at him with impatience, masking desperation (of a plea, if I'm ready to accept), under less than a second. It is not one of those many shots I can retake. He steps back then, almost right away and although I don't know what he is capable of reading in my hard to maintain closure, I'm relieved for the gap, enough so there is no physical contact when I move past.

It doesn't mean I'm untouched. I feel his eyes distinctly upon myself, following me as I make way to the main door of the cozy eat out, wishing to show no hurry, no lag in my steps. And I wish the freezing wind from outside would hit me now, a cold wave, to ebb the heat generating in my cheeks just from supposedly knowing this. Specifically since they must, without doubt, already betray color. I'm thankful then, for the raised collars, and whatever they manage to conceal of it.

"Your coffee Miss?"

My mind is too busy forcing reactions to subside, and actions to hasten, to comprehend the summon is for me. But in reflex to the sound of a voice through the wordless air between us, I stop. Turn my eyes to her, and I can still feel, his upon myself, unmoved. As if to confirm, he steps out from the side to come up front. I want to run away from this. I open my mouth to say I need none, fear I would curse the coffee or the girl which is when he decides to be the target, by taking the take out cup from her hand and holding it out to me. My eyes raise themselves to his, paralyze the curse on the tip of my tongue; a frown of suffering adjusts itself to conceal its character instead. I know I have changed my mind when I take the cup out of his hand, one more time, and I wonder if this is intentionally so on his part, there is no physical contact, not even barely.

"Did he take one?" I ask the girl turning my attention to her. The question only vaguely defines 'he' but she understands.

"He took two, and paid for all three." I'm informed, and I nod. The third would be for the driver of course. My PA is a considerate man.

"Thank you." The eyes are still upon me, I believe. A tinkling of chimes greets the opening of main door, and I don't know what about it makes me say, without turning back to look at either of them, on a parting note to nothing in particular, "Have a good day!"

*******************************************
I stand staring at the door that shut behind her. There is no room left for doubting the reality of what just transpired.
It lingers in the air... her presence... like a pullover, packed from a winter ago, would retain evidence of a signature fragrance. The missing coffee cup from my hand, and from Marie's is plain enough. The sound of her voice is ringing in my ears... those four words, the only that I have to satisfy myself with, for the possibility that they were at least partly addressing me... have a good day...

So I had let her walk into this place and out on me, just like that, in a matter of minutes? Apparently. Something in my mind is screaming, to run out that door after her. Bring her back in. Never let go... that she isn't far this time... or isn't she?

I turn to the washroom instead, after a moment of looking at what I wouldn't enter out of habit, I take tentative steps towards it ... she seemed to have gained a little, of course it could well be just those layers, though, how many...  and walk inside. From owning this place I know, it looks exactly as it always does. Finally, I turn around to face the mirror over the basin. I assume she would have done as much, looked at it, into it, the same way. I understand that the mirror in its turn would have captured her, in the same frame that captures me now. I wish, I will, I urge that it replay the scene. That I see her with me, that we share space, however small, however inconsequential. I wish it wasn't a mirror. I wish its capture was not transient. I wish it was a lens... or a film... or a tape. I see the weariness of my crisp reflection mock me. I then cease to wish...

Holding down on the sides of the basin with both hands, for support, at signs of surrender from my entire brazen being, I let my head drop limply between the shoulders. Unblinking, I watch the faucet sensor, that has detected presence and let lose a gushing stream of water which after draining and shedding off its initial cold bearing becomes consistently, comfortably, warmer. A sparse but conspicuous steamy haze begins to spread. The ease of flow makes me mildly envious, I want to feel it, the pain inside thaw, and flow out, like this, so the freedom of its release would warm me deep within. Slowly, my eyes close.

The wretched screaming in my head to follow her has stopped. I sense a dreary quiet in, and around, and in it I hear my breathing, slightly heavy. The everyday acceptance then resumes to play itself in my head one more time, repeating, reminding, resigning... I've lost her.

When a hand comes to rest over my broad shoulder, it stiffens momentarily before sagging again, without having to look up. She doesn't speak or ask, but I know her concern. I have more than surprised her. My hands cup, filling to brim and I splash my face. Once, twice, thrice... six times. And wish the water's warmth over my hands, would be cold over my eyes. Like that would induce some greater sense of clarity. When I look up, the mirror is foggy. I almost sigh. With the back of my hand I make an ambiguous clearing. The front hair are wet, and slightly dripping, drops trickle all the way down to my bare chest where the shirt is a quarter length unbuttoned. I raise and wrap an arm over my face on the pretext of patting it dry over the rolled sleeve, press my eyes extra hard against the fabric, till I'm certain they will remain dry. Running fingers through the wet locks and pushing them off my eyes, I walk past her out of the washroom and a voice I know is mine only cause the words are, instruct her,

"Grab me a spare." From the stock of shirts maintained for food stain days. She doesn't reply but behind me she has walked towards the mini linen closet, I meanwhile proceed to the kitchen doors across the hall.

A coffee brown identical to the one I'm wearing is extended before my eyes and I place the knife beside the cutting board which is topped with a hill of chopped onions I have already finished doing, rinse my hands and take it from her after wiping them dry. "Thanks!" Its not as much the word of gratitude as a composed conversational filler and I finally look her in the eye. Which is also the instant I realize surprise isn't just an understatement. It's a wrong word. I have positively, scared the girl. As if to make up, I give a small smile. And without waiting for a response, I move to walk out so I can go change.

"Are you alright?" She calls from behind. Her note is anxious, timid. Turning around meaning to reassure her, I end up shrugging. Am I alright... I toss the clean shirt to a corner, after all the one I'm wearing is only just somewhat damp. I'm too tired to care. "Who was she?" 

It is evident the she is uncertain of having dared to go this far, even as I personally contemplate over whether or not she should have. I become cognizant of fiddling with my fingers, as I do when I'm involved with something that doesn't involve hands, and drop them. A rather imperceptible smirk escapes me at the memory it brings back... 

Occupied as I had been this some late evening on a conference call with a creative head and fellow actor, the set was on hands free, and I paced the room in circles, talking. I have little clue as to how long she stood watching me then, come as she had to remind me of my promise to cook, for her. I had become aware of her presence only when some half hour later I had disconnected the call and she had walked in, repeating my words, her hands moving as if in rehearsed expertise as she did the little minute long mimicry of me. 

It runs in my mind's eye, the whole scene, as I had watched amused and bemused by her animated act all at once, the chase that had ensued until I had her caught, securely, and... A smile misfit in this present moment had surfaced of its own accord. When my eyes rise and find Marie looking clueless, the same smile stretches, imperative... bitter. I swallow hard, looking away. Then open my mouth to say something, gesture aimlessly with a hand to represent words that refuse to come, then shut my mouth, rub hands over my face, and push the hair off again. With a shake of my head and without looking at her directly I speak.

"You can take an off." And tell her. 

"You can talk to me ... "

"Marie!" I cut her of, gently, but firmly. "I'll see you tomorrow." She looks like she would object but doesn't. Only frowns and moves stubbornly to the sack of onions. 

"I thought we were baking today?" 

"I changed my mind." 

"Clearly... " she says picking up one out of the several frozen packs of chicken lying next to the microwave. Then looks at me in question. Absent mindedly my hand goes to the denim's back pocket and I extract my wallet. 

"You can take an advance for the dinner ... "

"He is taking me out." she informs me, pressing the half pulled out bills back. 

"Sure... ?" I ask her just for the heck, before stuffing the wallet into the pocket. She smiles at me suddenly, then throws her arms around in a hug, not completely making it to the tip of my chin even on her toes. She gives no reason, no explaining words, I need none. After an initial unexpectedness, I just sigh, and hug her back, fitting her easily in a single arm embrace.

"I will see you tomorrow then... " I nod, without spending much thought on why she just gave in, "Take care!" 

"I will. You guys have fun."

I muster as much spirit as I can in those words, that I really mean. Swiftly she breezes past, leaving me with my long day ahead. Alone. I know I could stop her at so much as a hint, but I want it so. An entire day, an intricate tangle of thoughts... I clamber up the shelf to hunt for one of the massive cooking pots in the highest cabinets... while I set myself to preparing that single, whole meal... 

"What were you going to cook?" I nearly lose my footing precariously edged, then barely save the crock pot in my hand from dropping at her abrupt reappearance in less than a minute. Frowning, I turn to find her standing, arms folded across her chest, at the kitchen doors. "Just curious... " she adds, genuinely. 

"Spanish chicken casserole." Her mouth curves to an 'O' and with a shrug of approval, she waves  a 'V' of peace at me and leaves again. This time I wait for her to disappear, till the chimes at the entrance reach me.

'Have a good day'... the words come echoing back... I look ceiling wards, then run a hand through my hair. By heavens! I would... 

*****************************************
"Hi!" It doesn't immediately occur to me that the greeting is for me, sitting in a cafe at this late night hour, a first timer in this town. Until that is, that I realize someone is standing over me. "We meet again!" And to these words, I look up. Blank in an instant, aware in the next. I do not greet back, cause I genuinely forget to. "You're still in town... " Not that I necessarily hear it in her tone, but the words, especially the 'still' doesn't go down well for me.

"I am." That wasn't intentionally curt, but it wasn't inviting either, more so the lack of detail in it. Why I would have any obligation to offer explanations is what makes it something on the lines of defensive, I reckon, specially cause of where I know I saw her last. Also, cause... why I am 'still' here is in a complicated way connected to that detail.

"Right... " she says, either getting the point, or simply pursuing no further cause she might have not been as keen to begin with, as I mentally took to accusing her of. It may have been just a polite follow up question to recognition of a face, and this lowers my defense in the face of a sheepish guilt.

"So... " We both begin at once, trying to fill an empty spot in conversation, if this meager exchange can be called so. Personally I was going to try and make up for my previous crude remark. Now I just give her a smile to go first. "So how do you know my boss?" The question has its expected impact on me, even if there is at least a whole seconds worth of delay - possibly my time to reconcile with what she asked me as she really did. My smile reverts to something defensive again, coldly this time.

"He decided to send you stalking me down, but didn't explain how and why?" The absurdity of this biting retort hits me the second those words are spoken. Specifically from the look on her face, to which I shut my eyes momentarily, then open them pursing my lips. "I'm sorry." I mumble, "This is not a good topic I'm afraid."

"Right... " she replies again. And then a few seconds of silence pass. I wonder why she doesn't just bid goodbye and leave. Consequently I wonder if I should do the honors myself. Or... ask her to join me?

"I don't know him," the un-thought-of option wins, and I truly have no way to explain why and how. "But I used to... " It aggravates something inside me that I'm saying all this and I wonder with only distant interest if I no longer control my actions and words. Before I can say more, I shut my eyes and sigh, keep them shut a moment longer until I'm certain I wont talk gibberish anymore. When our eyes meet this time she still looks no closer to bid the awkward conversation a convenient escapist adieu. "Are you here alone?" I ask her, perhaps to prompt the siggestion. I don't know why I just don't tell her myself to buzz off.

"I'm out for a date." I can't help but grin at the instant pink in her cheeks as she tells me this, and by golly! I actually think I will laugh when she consciously fixes a lose strand behind her ear.

"That's wonderful!" The warmth in my note is spontaneous, and when she smiles at me, I understand it has broken the ice. "So where's... " I indicate the obvious looking about her in question.

"Oh he's still parking." she says, "Its his dad's car and he rarely gets to drive it. He wanted to make sure it was safely parked." This time I laugh. Out loud. Dad's car?! Still laughing, I try to recall the last time I was on a date where we had to beg/borrow/steal our parents' cars... The thought brings nostalgia... which sobers me down. Audibly, yet another sigh escapes me.

"Why don't you have a seat meanwhile," I tell her and she pulls the one opposite to me then. "So how long have you been with... with this guy of yours?"

"Marc," she informs me, "And this is the first time he asked me out although... " she stops.

"Although... ?"

"My boss thinks hes liked me for a while." I don't hold her gaze, just nod, pick up my coffee and drain a long sip. It is rapidly cooling down, only minutes ago I had burnt my tongue and literally the entire length of my esophagus with the smallest sip possible. "He bet me a weeks worth of my salary to cross check with Marc... " she adds, tucking away the strand which has come lose again.

"Well I sure hope you didn't take him on that. He always knows what he's saying... " I stop at the curious look she gives me. And take another long sip of the coffee.

"You do know him... still." She remarks, and its a second time she has misused that word in my opinion.

"Marie! This side!" She turns at the voice, and I see a young boy, something her age, wave at her in summon.  Even as I just realize we never exchanged names. She turns back to me, getting off the chair, and mouths 'that's him' to me. I nod, and smile.

"Have fun!" and tell her. She smiles before walking away, then turns back to me after only a couple of steps taken.

"Do you like Spanish chicken casserole?" It is, I have to admit, the most unexpected question she has shot me in these few minutes together, and that in a whole talk that was anything but expected. Before I can reply she adds, "Its the door buster dish of the day at the restaurant. You should get it for dinner." And takes off with those final words. Never mind the hour that is close to midnight, which is when she is suggesting I get myself 'dinner' ... did she just talk about Spanish... chicken casserole? I frown, and sigh, and run an agitated hand though my hair. Take a sip of my coffee and cringe at how bitter it tastes cold.

"Why am I still here... " I mutter to myself... and it is not to be mistaken for a question...

*****************************************
In bright blue letters I see from a distance, the door announces 'CLOSED'. Loud and clear. Of course. My steps lose some more of the little pace I have forced upon them, in this tedious trek with a much reluctant mind and highly wavering resolve.

One would think I'd abandon the idea now and walk back. But then, one would also wonder why I gave it a shot to begin with. One would wonder why I ditched my car and driver and walked this unknown route. One would wonder about the lone hour I choose asking alien people the way to a restaurant by the corner of a street, the names to either of which I do not recall. One would also have reason to not understand why I have been here all day procrastinating the shoot, blaming it on the weather and roads. Basically, one would have plenty to speculate about, that I have neither ignored, nor overlooked, only found myself incapable of confronting. With the conflicting chain of thoughts, somehow, I manage to notice, and register, one more thing visible to my eyes. The lights inside, even though fairly dim, are on.

A resurrection of sort comes to rescue my will from its current throes. I trudge along then, through the piles of snow shoveled off the streets onto this sidewalk, the final few meters between.

****************************************
I stand leaning against the counter, looking at the food on display in the largest of my serving pots. The kind we use for buffet weekends, or party reservations. Arms folded across my chest.

Earlier in the morning, I closed the place for the day in under an hour after Marie left. Neither up for a day of work, nor for cooking what I intended then, leaving it half way hence, deciding to go home. Upon reaching back, and after spending a full quarter hour in my room, doing nothing, I realized it would drive me crazy. So I changed into my running gear, extremely scanty though it was for the weather outside, and went for a run. A long run, which lasted three whole hours. There is a point of fatigue, when we exercise, which once passed, causes no further pain. At least, that is, as long as you continue exercising past that state without stopping. Ask me, I would know, that or anything for that matter about workouts. I also know hence, what happens on such occasions of excessive exertion when you ultimately stop.

An excruciating pain. An overwhelming exhaustion. A pent up awareness of being bodily enervate.

It was then, after stumbling, climbing the steps to my room and finally making it to the bath, that I stood under the shower, clothes on, for three quarters of that hour. When I was finally dry again, and warmly dressed, the intensity of my hunger hit me hard, I realized I was absolutely starving. Down in the kitchen of my house, nothing in the refrigerator or pantry or raw supplies looked tempting and I just popped a couple of mints for the while. Then crashed on the couch before the living room TV, flipping through channels, switching to a new one every time the one before it begun fading in vision as my mind wandered towards its real concern, until I had run out of channels too...

More precisely, I had run out of options to run to. Escapism snapped, I could hold its fort no more.

Not surprisingly, I found my way back to the restaurant, before the next hour was over. It remained closed as far as customers were concerned. But I set myself to re-start and complete this time, what I had left undone that morning. What would normally take me a period of a sole hour, something over or under that, I accomplished liberally, with far greater leisure of a few extra hours. Something about cooking this food did me good. Temporarily at least. I turned on our kind of music, dimmed the lights, and let myself dwell in every memory of the past. Without any intention to forget them. And in a strange way, it was easier that way. Perhaps, I thought to myself then, I had been struggling to much in balancing the acts of forgetting a past, AND keeping it alive...

But now cooking is over, despite all the unnecessary laboring I put into it, to keep it going. The food is ready, and laid before me. I haven't tasted yet as I never can. Its the one reason, I have never cooked alone. If for nothing else, I need another to tag along, to test what I cook. I think of the first time I had cooked this for her... and sigh. At an afterthought I sweep my hand over the shelf to grab the key to the drawer with her picture. And perhaps my ease and leisure has become something of a stale lethargy, for at the careless sweep of my hand it slides it off and... Shit! Lands into the damn garbage bin standing by the shelf right beneath that spot.

"What the... " I can't help hiss, the passive shield over my inner storm vanishes as if by some dark voodoo trick. I glare at the bloody bin as if to scare it to submission and have it throw the key back out for me to catch. "What a bloody f... " I kick it hard, very, I know because it hurts my toe but the abruptly, extremely rising anger doesn't allow me to wince or acknowledge the pang of pain that shoots through my foot. Momentarily however, it forces me to shut my eyes, and when I open them, I have only managed enough to not pull the place apart. This time I glare at the bin in part resignation. I guess I will retrieve it, its just wasted food in there after all. On second thoughts, I consider turning back to the pot full of cooked food, maybe I really should eat something first? With little to debate about, I chose the second and grab a spoon. Plucking a bite full of the chicken with it when I hold it up to eat, I stand just looking at it. Several seconds later, I replace the spoonful back into the pot. Hit a fist against my head, lightly at first, then hard once, and sigh.

On an impulse then, I glance at the bin with the precious key to the precious drawer containing the priceless snap shot. Then lifting the pot full of tenderly cooked Spanish chicken casserole I turn it over and empty the contents into a heap over the garbage... and the key. And gathering the draw strings of the garbage bag I tighten a stern bow of it. It does not make me happy, I hadn't expected it to... but it does nothing to hush the rage inside either.

"Is anything left?"

Physically, I feel my muscles stiffen at the sound of that voice. This time however, its only a second, two at max, before I turn around to face the source of it. This time also, the source doesn't disappear or play mind games but stays. Slowly, I make a complete turn. There is nothing in her face to read, so I go over the words she has spoken in my head once more.

"No." is all I can begin with, "Nothing. I dumped it all." Are you back? I ask myself, and her. You are. I reply back myself, from her. But why? ... Then again, you are. After everything that was. The betrayal. Or because of everything that was? The love. "I can start afresh though... " I say out loud, "If... " and pause following the line of her sight, to find my hands toying with themselves, as usual, and drop them. "If you want... " and complete my sentence. Do you? I ask. Please do. I pray. You must... you're... here. I hope.

She looks me in the eye, and even though there are some physical feet between us, it doesn't seem to matter just then. The distance we have survived has been... infinitely more... have we survived it, is the question, though. Then again, she is here. A great distance indeed, is what her eyes seem to tell me, but can a great distance stand anywhere except where once had been... great proximity? I don't know if these words are her part of this wordless interlude, or mine, or if they have, then when exactly did those two merge? What is happening here? Unknowingly, I make to move, my foot hits the displaced bin once more, knocking it over almost before I grip it and stand it up straight. The back of my mind reminds me what it contains. Securely, I replace it in its exact corner, out of harm's way. Then I'm back up facing her, and she looks like she has patiently waited until I do so.

"Okay." She says. Just that. I stare at her blankly, not understanding. So she repeats, softly, almost inaudibly, "Okay... " And now, my eyes widen, cause I understand...

**********************************************

ps: back, with the second AND final part of this ... (still debating on what to call it - not name, but genre/category as in)

random people have made random references to it. in terms of who the 'I' (s) here may be... feel free to may your picks! personally, for me... its a fictional setting for two absolutely real people.
so alia - AN (can't believe u thought THEM) ... sookie/aria - lol! if u will take my word, that is one of the movies I've always wanted to get to, and missed most chances for, still haven't seen it, so uncanny, yes!
and nij... i dunno why you would ask, why i call them what i do... its them, all the way, for me! :) .. although, there were bits of this second part i kept losing them to the delusion of 'simply characters' ... :S

done now! this is for, 2nd dec - an ode... a day for new beginnings! shall always be!!! ... :)

pps: i'm going to reply back to everyone, in person! before today ends!

Edited by spln - 14 years ago