My Husband's Private Room- SAJAN FF updtd pt2 pg3

My attempt at a SAJAN story....do review guys:)Its a oneshot so yeah u dun hv to wait for other chaps....lol :P

.Disclaimer: i DONOT OWN ANYTHING! only the character alina..shes my creation 😛

MY HUSBAND's PRIVATE ROOM[B]

[B]Updated part 2 pg 3 -DONT KILL ME!!!!PLEASE!!!



Alina was in the living room doing some cleaning & dusting while his husband was out on work, she was a happy married woman who believed to have achieved everything, what she craved for now was only a child, she had planned it all out, she would convince him that it really was time as it had been one year together after marriage. Alina was proud to call herself Mrs. Shergill, she was happy with her husband who was serious, career- oriented and focused guy in nature.Alina had been surprised at her first meet with samrat, she had never met a guy of his age matured to such a great level.she had felt then that god had sent him for her....her perfect match.

I crouched down & dusted the TV table as i stood up and looked around, i grinned in satisfaction at my clean home sweet home.Samrat and i had been living in Los Angeles for quite a time, we had adapted ourselves to this new place after living the first 2 months of our marriage in France.Yes thats where i met him, in a famous english literature university.Oh did i tell you? my husband is a poet, he writes novels as well, the first called The Accident and the second hes working on.I have read his first novel and it touched me deeply, ma husband really is a great writer, but theres this one curious thing in him,he doesnt share, whenever he writes he keeps it to himself locked up in his workroom but well writing is just his passion, he works in a university as a professor.
I crossed the hall heading to my bedroom just when i had this curious feeling to enter his room, the only place in this house where i was not allowed.
I glanced at the watch, it was 11:00 I could give it a risk, he wont be back by 1:30.I grabbed the handle, my heart thudded loudly, 'he had told me not to' I took a deep breath 'you are his wife, its ur right' I groaned i couldnt do this again! he trusted me, he trusted me enough not to lock this door, then y should i break his trust
I contemplated my decision once again, it had been months me standng here looking at the door and then turnng away was it supposed to be the same today?
Just then i heard samrat's phone ring which made me jump. I headed to the hall and picked his phone.
The phone flashed the name 'mac'.
"hello" i greeted.
"hello..samrat hai kya?" mac asked.
"sorry...no hindi" I replied grimacing this one thing saddened me i had tried but it was too difficult.
"ohh...Alina is tht u?" Mac asked.
"Yeah...ermm Mac" "Mac? no m mayank,samrat's friend" The guy clarified.
"ohh actually hes not at home, and by mistake he left his mobile at home.
"ohh"
"ya well is there any message for him?"
"yeah tell him that nupur is completely fine now and that the doctor said she doesnt have to take any more sessions
Truly speaking i didnt get the head or toe of what he was saying anyways i noted down the message
"oke..i'll pass this message to him Mac"
"its mayank"
"ya sorry...."
"its oke...i guess samrat never told u about us.."
That hurt it really did. Till today i had never ever heard this guys name & the way he was talking, the way he had guessed my name so quickly, just made me feel wierder not knowing about my husband.
"ya well why dont u join us sometime for lunch or dinner?" i asked hoping to befriend him and know this part of my husbands life.
Mac..i mean Mayank laughed which confused me further.
"Alina....i live in india"
"ohh sorry"
"no probs k bye then take care"
"bye"
i ended the call. I was so embaressed! god!
None of his had happened if i had known samrat his friends his past...his past which was blank to me....i knew nothing abt india his life in india...I stared at the message then at the no.,samrat's friend, his friendly tone? I looked up at the door to samrat's private room
A current charged through as i made up my mind to unravel things, to know my husbands past..which maybe still connected to his present..? things he had been trying to keep away from me..hidden.
As i reached for the door a sudden numbeness overtook me, i closed my eyes and turned the doorknob, it clicked.
I pushed the door open and stepped in. The room was dark, i switched on the lights and saw in admiration as the room came to life....i was none but surprised i had expected it to b gloomy, to b dark and filled with old stuff, but it was shining all the things in the roon shined scrubbed clean as light reflected on them.

Its walls were covered with big photos of a girl at her early 20's , she was indian i could make sure of that but something something made me stare at her photo longer in amazement, not her indian dress, not her long thick hair, not her glasses either but her smile which gave an aura of comfort of peace, her smile reached every corner of her face making it glow, she had pretty eyes wierdly enough i found my mind form the words beautiful.
Wierd coz my husband had some gals pic in his private roomwhich i was not allowed to enter where he spent hours writing or maybe plain sitting and still i found her beautiful, the room was silent the sound of the cooker which i realised couldnt be heard now i pushed the door slightly and heard the small noise i shut the door again ..silent i looked at the other wall. It was covered with the same gal and samrat's photos together ...hugging...cuddling...smiling...grinning..at the camera or maybe at a friend.There was a big photo of a gang in which samrat stood at the middle though it was realy difficult to recognize him in those stylish jeans, designer shirt cool hairdo clean shave plus no spects. He was grinning with his one hand around the same gal and the other around a guy. They were at the beach.
India....i wondered
At the bottom of the photo was titled Friends forever, I felt tears sting my eyes, samrat had never told me about any of them, he didnt want to share either...i cried at seing this samrat...he had changed..y?...wat does it mean decorating the room like tht?
I turned to his writing desk & felt relief spread through me, seeing my picture framed in his desk was overwhelming.
I looked arond the room....there was a TV and a CD player....plus a music player on his wall hung a nice red and white guitar...which shined as new.
i wondered
does he play?i never heard but then i realised the room was space tight, surely if i couldnt hear wats going on out then it must be the same viceversa.
There was shelve at the corner which had DVD's, Albums and magazines arranged neatly.
I picked up the CD's knowing the albums wouldnt help as i knew nothing about this part of his life.
The titles of the videos read.
"Basketball final match. WE WON!"
I was none but shocked samrat & basket ball?
The next one read.
"The Prom Night" I shuffled through others as i stood rooted being washed over by waves of shock as to wat was in my hand. "Picnic at the beach"
"TOGETHER 4EVA-gift from the gang"
"COLLEGE TRIP TO OOTY"
"MY LOVE....MY LIFE..JANNUABLE CHASHMISH"
jannuable chashmish..wat does that mean? hindi surely.
"LOVE...SOUL..HEART..FOR U GUNJAN"
gunjan...certainly a name...maybe..
"Life is all about sacrifice..song by me"
I looked around and found a deflated basketball cutely enugh it had a 2 blackdot eyes and a yellow smile.
I looked around the cardboard boxes as i opened one i grinned...atleast 20 trophies and many certificates were packed in it i pull them out and was yet again shocked.
I had expected them for writing, poems or some study oriented i shook my head this samrat isnt yours alina..this is the one you never knew..... i calmed myself and read the titles.
"BEST CAPTAIN..basketball team"
"BEST PERFORMER- TALENT PARADE"
There was a certifiate too of his graduation..his marks were average..none too great compared to the samrat i knew...sadly enough i learned the difference in the two.
I didnt know how long i had been here i kept all the things back as i shut the door i glanced at th watch it was 12:30 still one hour for him to come.
I entered the kitchen and turned off the gas the food was ready! i will just have to heat it in the oven,I turned as the gals picture crossed my mind again...he loved her...maybe he still does..where is she? in india? nupur is fine? nupur is tht her name?
I shook my head at the wild guesses nothing was better than knowing the truth and tht too from the right person i made my decision then..and entered his room again.
At 2:30
I waited for him to be back home i glanced around the house satisfied at my work.
I had put up this gals pictures over the wall, hung his guitar next to it, kept the albums and CD's on the corner and set the shelves in which my silver cutlery was was kept with his trophies and certificates, the dining was ready set with hot and delicious food at the hall outside.I looked at the note in my hand..Mayank's message.
I would let him eat first and then discuss.Nothing would be better than talking abt it.
Panic struck me as i sat at the chair waiting for him..wat if he gets angry..wat if he leaves me after seeing this note wat of the girl he loves is nupur..shes fine now..does tht mean? will he leave me? no no shut ur wild imagination, he loves u, hes ur husband u hv to trust him.
I calmed down but again the nagging feeling returned.
I told my mind to shut it,,, it was too late to change anything..nothing could be done now!
I glanced at the watch as time ticked by anytime now he would be home. i realised my body posture taut in nervousness i straighetned and tried to relax.
Just then the doorbell rang i jumped from the couch and headed to the door i spread my hands to proper my hair and rubbed them on my top as they were wet..
Unintentionally i was wearing his favourite white top with denim blue jeans.
I opened the door, a very exhausted samrat greeted me with a fleeting kiss on my cheek.He entered as i shut the door, i watched as he removed his shoes and set them at the shoe rack kept his folders in his desk.

"How was the day at uni today?" i asked.
"It was great quite tiring..m glad to teach there, the students really are interested in the subject"
I smiled at him"thts great" this was the samrat i knew.
He pushed his glasses back up "yeah so how did u spent time at home?"
"Nothing much just cleaning and dusting" i shrugged.
He looked around "and cooking" he pointed.
"yup" i smirked "ur favs"
Samrat smiled and hugged me "i'll just freshen up"
"ya sure" samrat entered the washroom
I told to myself in satisfaction
there! he loves you...he wont leave u ..so relax
I sat at the table with the note in my hand. I set plates for the two of us.
He soon joined me.
"wow! nice" he said to me.
I smiled as we both dug into our plates.
Samrat now finished with the food filled himself a glass of water.."i made some chocolate smoothie would u like to have some?"
Samrat looked at me shocked i wasnt surprised..i had afterall read tht in his private diary dated 3 yrs back.
"I dont drink choclate smoothie.." he said.
"ermm ya wud u like some i made it" i said
he sighed"ya sure"
"hang on a sec" I opened the refrigerator door and took the two glasses i had set for us.
"here u go" i handed him one.
he smiled and drank it "its delicious"
"thanks" i smiled.
"samrat" i said seriously he turned to me curious as i never called him by his full name, usually it was sam.
"there was a call..u left ur mobile"
"ya i noticed..whos call"
I took a deep breath as i stared into his eyes "Mayank"
He kept staring at me, i noticed guilt appear in his eyes, he gulped"I.."
"He gave a message" i interrupted handing him the note.
"i guess its good news?" i said smiling.
I noticed as samrat read the message, in that one minute his face from serious and tensed glowed to that of happiness and joy.
"Its great news..i need to make a call" he got up from his seat.
I sighed he had not asked me a thing.. not even how i felt..i looked at his retreating figure just then i realised he was heading to the room i had decorated!.. no not now
"samrat" i called he turned.
"yeah"
"your mobiles in ur bedroom"
"ohh k i'll b back"
Samrat returned after 15 minutes with a big smile on his face. He sat in the chair next to me, he kept his eyes on mine waiting for me to say something.
"Who's mayank?" i asked not blinking.
"He's my friend, college times india" sam said without any hesitation
"Whose Nupur?" i asked studying his expression, his face glowed a smile crept up on his face "my sister, mayank's girlfriend".
I let out the breath which until now i didnt know i was holding. A weight seemed to be lifted off from my shoulders.
"Why? I mean why dont i know them? they are your friends right? they are special"
Samrat gazed into my eyes.
"Lets Just say they are a part of my past, whom m still holding onto"
He sighed and got up to head to his room..his private room, he turned the knob.
"Sam" I called.
he stopped but didnt turn
I walked to him and kept my hand on his shoulders in a soothing manner.
"theres something i want to show you, i want you to share with me"
He turned and stared at me perplexed.
I held his hand and directed him to our living room..He walked further in as i took a deep breath and waited for his reaction..
anger...?..hurt..?..joy..?..

Samrat's POV
I was confused as to what Al was doing..wat was she talking abt?...sharing?
I took in the room infront of me...on the wall was our entire gang's photo..the immediate thought tht struck me was Al..she had entered the room..i shut my eyes and opened them once again at the smiling faces in the photo, some grinning few laughing the coolest gang of excel the best of my friends...with pain i realised their value of wat they mean to me...and have always..the same familiar ache returned..the pain of not being with them. i blinked away my tears. I turned to the shelve where trophies and certificates of my victory were arranged. I turned my head away from all those days all those achievements..i turned away from my old self with pain i realised wat am i to say to Al?
I opened my eyes and was held there short of breath seeing gunjans photo smile at me, her face her sweet smile, tears came and this time i couldnt stop them, flashes seem to be on my mind of tht time of tht horrible day
Gunjan...m sorry
no samrat...theres no sorry now m leaving...
she turned her eyes brimming with tears.
the car honked...
she turned "gunjan" i screamed ..too late.it was all over
the car hit her and she fell
gunjan..blood..
.samrat !she held me "di'
The ambulance came i held her hand 'samrat'
yes gunjan m here m with u
samrat i...i..
its k dont speak..u wil b fine
no..now ....or never.
no dont say tht
samrat i ...i love u..
i love u too..i love u too
u r forgiven,,,not ur fault....i love u..n di
the machine beeped as i looked at the still figure her eyes at me but there was no life in there, they were plain black.
i shuddered and fell on my knees. Al bent and hugged me.

No..u cant leave me..u cant
i rubbed her hands..no use...
gunjan noo...i moaned i wailed..it cant b over..we were meant to b together always...she was my life...
she couldnt leave me...
I pressed my hands to my eyes to stop it, to stop my mind going back to the past but it did and i couldnt stop.
'Hello' i heard nupur.
Nupur ....gunjan...
gunjan? wat abt her?
shes....shes no more..in an accident
WAT!
ya shes ....i gulped and closed my eyes ...dead.
a commotion was heard on the other side of the phone
Nupur wat happened followed by a wail from nupur
mayank attended the phone
samrat! wat happened.
mayank! gunjan..accident my voice broke..dead.
"Sam! Sam m sorry i didnt knw it wil hurt u .....m sorry pls forgive me..pls"
"no Al" my voice broke.
She ran and got me a glass of water.
"She rubbed my back and helped me to the couch.
"m sorry i didnt knw it will hurt, i wont ask anything..u rest..i will..."
Al got up to leave but i held her hand.
"not ur fault" with pain i realised exact words gunjan had said to me...
she sat again.
I starightened up to find myself sweating, i wiped my face with a tissue and sighed.
"can you talk abt her?" Al asked concerned.
"yes..she ...." i didnt knw where to start from.
"u loved her...she was ur life,ur.. love soul and heart" she knew she had seen the tapes.
"yes..."
"wat happened to her?" Al asked me.
"She met an accident..."
Al looked at me shocked as i stared hard at the deflated basketball on the table little sam
"she..how?"
"It was my fault we had a fight" my voice cracked.
Al hugged me
"why did u hide it to urself? in ur room?"
I returned the hug.
"She was my past"
"past which u r still holding onto"
I sighed Al knew me well.
She broke the hug. u play? the guitar?
I nodded.
"can u play now?"
"no" i replied "i play only for her"
"play for her then" she replied.
i picked up the guitar and played my tune Love..Soul..Heart
Alina's POV
I smiled through my tears watching sam play....he played beautifully a magic seemed to have issued from his tune. Thats when it struck me the book...his first novel THE ACCIDENT ..what he had written was not just a story..it was his past..his beautiful past...it was hard to believe tht sam was still dwelling in his past ..he had tried to move on he married me he left india...but he still couldnt forget her...he still lived in his past....his words played in my mind lets just say thay are a part of my past, whom m still holding onto.... he wasnt over his mourning ..his mourning for his loss..

Sam stopped playing, he picked his guitar and took the deflated basketball and left the room.
what was i to do?
He entered back and stood on the couch to remove her photo.
"Sam" i stopped him.
"She was"i started but corrected myself "..is a part of ur life..a beautiful yet sad part.."
sam sighed,
"i tried ..i tried to forget her"
"u never had to" i cut him off in mid-sentence.
he stared at me confused.
"u never had to hide it from me, never had to keep it to urself,u never had to forget her, never had to let her fade into the past, she lives sam, she still lives" i approached him my tone softening. "she lives here" i placed my palm where his heart was "she lives here and will always...shes looking over you,smiling"
sam hugged me
"you are a lovely wife Al, i would have killed myself if you had not come in my life"
"thankfully i fought with u, for my feelings for the love i had..u had not even looked at me then..not even once"
Sam stiffened, he broke the hug and looked at me "sorry i never realised, u r .. i shouldnt have.."
"shhh" i hushed him up "it was never ur fault" i held his hand "the only way i can help u with the pain..is share..share those moments with u...and ofcoz know the one u loved". i picked up a CD. "i dont know hindi...can u...share?"
Samrat sighed "i'll be back"
I smiled but then realised he was taking Gunjan's photo with him too.
"why? why do u wanna lock her..her memories in tht one room..let it be hung here"
he stopped but didnt turn.
"Not all are like u Al, they wont understand....her importance...u hv been great Al, m proud of u..m happy to have u.." he stopped.
"to have me as ur friend" i completed his sentence.
Samrat smiled at me greatfully.
That's when i realised that pain came from the very heart, that heart was the very way to live life.
life was never fair it will never be......i raised my head in prayer and then said..questioning him "God, she was too young to die...rest her soul in peace"

THE END

Please REVIEW!!!!!Positive criticisms are always welcomed:)

liked your ff but it was very tragic . my heart is heavy after reading this.

Rili nice yar.........i rili liked it.....do write more.........

@ght_sajan - thnx m glad i got some reviews! i knw its tragic..i wrote this one, after i lost a frnd...i dunno i have a tendency to write sad stories!
but gllad u liked it 😊

@sunshine - thnx a lot..m glad u liked it....will post more stories...have written them one yr bck n will continue to write some more...but ma boards goin on ryt now...m a 12thie....so not much tym.

thnx for ur review guys...really overwhelmed 😳 luv ya!

Hi
wow that was really touching and sad
u should continue this
it is a great story!!
Poor Sam and Gunjan