गेंड्याला गुद्गुल्या
Geṇḍyālā Gudgulyā
(Rhinoceros-Tickling)
Chapter One
वाङ्निश्चय Vāṅniścaya (Spoken Resolve)
भीमे, आज आपल्या अर्जुनचा साखरपुडा आहे. "Bhīme, āza āpalyā Arjunaçā sākharapuḍā āhe." Bhima, today is our Arjun's engagement, Krishna'i Kavathekar announced to the wreathed portrait as if the departed woman's serious face could have smiled back at her. त्याची नवरी सावित्री अगदी नक्षत्रासारखी आहे, आणि त्याच्याइतकीच हुशार, कर्तृत्ववान्, आणि प्रेमळ. "Tyācī navarī Sāvitrī agadī nakṣatrāsārakhī āhe, āṇi tyācyāitakīça huśāra, kartṛtvavān, āṇi premaḷa." His bride Savitri is just as gorgeous as a constellation, and exactly equal to him - clever, capable, and loving.
सावत्र मुलाचा किती अभिमान उतू जात चालला आहे! "Sāvatra mulāçā kitī abhimāna utū zāta çālalā āhe!" Overflowing with so much pride in your stepson! Vishvambhar Gadak scoffed at his sister. सवत जीवंत होती तेव्हां तिचेच लाड करत राहिलीस. "Savata jīvanta hotī tevhāṃ tiçeça lāḍa karata rāhilīsa." When your co-wife was alive, you went on pampering her only. नशीबाने तिचा काटा काढल्यावर, पुढे स्वतःच्या सक्ख्या मुलांच्या हक्काचा, भविष्याचा विचार करून तरी दाजींना मुठीत ठेवायचं होतं, पण नाही! "Naśībāne tiçā kāṭā kāḍhalyāvara, puḍhe svataḥcyā sakkhyā mulāñcyā hakkāçā, bhaviṣyāçā vicāra karūna tarī Dājīṃnā muṭhīta ṭhevāyaçaṃ hotaṃ, paṇa nāhī!" Good fortune removed that thorn, so you should have thought of your own actual children's rights and future and kept my brother-in-law in your grasp, but no! तुझा जरा तरी धाक असता तर त्या ठेवलेल्या बाईच्या मुलाला, त्या परदेशातल्या बारा गावांचं पाणी प्यालेल्या अर्जुनला दाजींनी स्वतःचा एकमेव वारसदार ठरवणं शक्य झालं असतं का? "Tuzhā zarā tarī dhāka asatā tara tyā ṭhevalelyā bāīcyā mulālā, tyā paradeśātalyā bārā gāvāṃçaṃ pāṇī pyālelyā Arjunalā Dājīṃnī svataḥçā ekameva vārasadāra ṭharavaṇaṃ śakya zhālaṃ asataṃ kā?" If my brother-in-law had felt even the slightest deference for you, would it have been possible for him to choose that kept woman's son, that Arjun who has drunk from a dozen watering-holes in a foreign country, as his one and only heir?
तू विसरू नकोस, विशू दा, तुझ्याच उद्योगांपायी आपल्या साखरकारखान्याची काय विकट परिस्थिति झाली होती! "Tū visarū nakosa, Viśū Dā, tujhyāça udyogāṃpāyī āpalyā sākhara-kārakhānyācī kāya vikaṭa paristhiti zhālī hotī!" Don't you forget, Vishu Dā, how your own dealings got our sugar factory into such a dire situation! Krishna'i retorted. She knew it was futile to plead with Vishvambhar that Arjun was hers, her own bad-tempered, needy, and self-consciously awkward baby, whom she had missed terribly every day he had spent studying in the U.S.A. Vishvambhar didn't know how it felt to love anybody - not even his own son Pankaj. Vishvambhar only valued money. अर्जुनने ह्यांचं ऐकून कवठेभैरवगडला परत येणं मान्य केलं, म्हणूनच आज कवठेकर इंडस्ट्रीजची पुन्हा भरभराट होत आहे. "Arjunane hyāṃçaṃ aikūna Kavaṭhe-Bhairavagaḍalā parata yeṇaṃ mānya kelaṃ, mhaṇūnaça āza Kavaṭhekara Industries-cī punhā bharabharāṭa hota āhe." Arjun listened to him and agreed to return to Kavathe-Bhairavgad, which is the only reason why Kavathekar Industries is flourishing again today.
जिचं करावं भलं, ती म्हणते, माझंच खरं! "Jiçaṃ karāvaṃ bhalaṃ, tī mhaṇate, māzhaṃça kharaṃ!" Offer to help, and she says, only my way's right! Vishvambhar snapped, gripping the knob of his walking-stick. आजवर तो सावत्र अर्जुन जेवढे मोजून देत होता तेवढ्या पैश्यांसाठी आपण महिन्याभरचा हिशोब सांगत होतो, आणि तसेच यापुढे त्याच्या बायकोकडून सुद्धा भीक मागत राहू! "Āzavara to sāvatra Arjuna jevaḍhe mozūna deta hotā tevaḍhyā paiśyāṃsāṭhī āpaṇa mahinyābharaçā hiśoba sāṅgata hoto, āṇi taseça yāpuḍhe tyācyā bāyakokaḍūna suddhā bhīka māgata rāhū!" So far, for whatever money that stepson Arjun was counting out, we were giving monthly accounts, and just the same from now on, we'll keep begging for scraps from his wife too!
Krishna'i ignored him. Returning her gaze to Bhima'i's portrait, she prayed to Bhairava-Deva with thanks that Arjun had inherited his mother's ambition and energy.
Bhalachandra Kavathekar's sugar factory had been only modestly profitable until Bhima'i had streamlined operations and reclaimed the profits from the global market that Bhalachandra had allowed chains of middlemen to reap. Bhima'i's attentiveness to the factory labourers' finances had inspired her to start the cooperative bank that was now her son Arjun's pride. After Bhima'i's untimely death, Bhalachandra had managed both businesses tolerably well, until Arjun's departure for study abroad had perturbed him. Wanting to spend more time at home with his children by Krishna'i - Vidyadhar, Balaram, and Priya - Bhalachandra had made the mistake of trusting his brother-in-law to run the factory and train Balaram as his successor. By the time Bhalachandra had discovered Vishvambhar's embezzlement and spending on Balaram's lecherous vices, it had become almost too late to restore the business's good credit.
भैरवदेवा! "Bhairava-Devā," Lord Bhairava, Krishna'i prayed, एकट्या अर्जुनमुळे कवठेकर इंडस्ट्रीजचा आणि कवठेभैरवगड गांवाचा विकास होत आहे. "Ekaṭyā Arjuna-muḷe Kavaṭhekara Industries-çā āṇi Kavaṭhe-Bhairavagaḍa gāṃvāçā vikāsa hota āhe." Due to Arjun alone, Kavathekar Industries and the town of Kavathe-Bhairavgad are expanding. हे घडवून आणेल असा अर्जुनशिवाय आपल्यात कोण आहे? "He ghaḍavūna āṇela asā Arjuna-śivāya āpalyāta koṇa āhe?" Other than Arjun, who else among us could have made this happen? भीमा म्हणायच्या की जिला घर सांभाळणं जमतं तिच्यासाठी व्यवसाय सांभाळणं काही कठिण नाही, पण आम्हाला खरोखर व्यवसायातलं काही कळत नाही. "Bhīmā mhaṇāyacyā kī jilā ghara sāṃbhāḷaṇaṃ zamataṃ ticyāsāṭhī vyavasāya sāṃbhāḷaṇaṃ kāhī kaṭhiṇa nāhī, paṇa āmhālā kharokhara vyavasāyātalaṃ kāhī kaḷata nāhī." Bhima used to say that whoever is able to manage a household won't find it difficult to manage a business, but I really don't know anything about business. विद्याधर आमच्यावर गेला, म्हणून तर त्याचं व्यवसायाकडं नाही, फक्त अनाथाश्रमाकडं लक्ष आहे. "Vidyādhara āmacyāvara gelā, mhaṇūna tara tyāçaṃ vyavasāyākaḍaṃ nāhī, phakta anāthāśramākaḍaṃ lakṣa āhe." Vidyadhar takes after me; that's why his focus is only on the orphanage, not the business. बलरामचं तर विचारायलाच नको! "Balarāmaçaṃ tara vicārāyalāça nako!" As for Balaram, the less said, the better! नन्दा आणि शाली ह्या दोघींना पैसे खर्च करण्याशिवाय काहीच येत नाही. "Nandā āṇi Śālī hyā doghīṃnā paise kharça karaṇyāśivāya kāhīça yeta nāhī." Nanda and Shali know how to spend money, and that's it. आणि प्रिया तिचं शिक्षण पूर्ण करून व्यवसायात लक्ष घालेल की कविता रचत बसेल, तुलाच ठाऊक! "Āṇi Priyā tiçaṃ śikṣaṇa pūrṇa karūna vyavasāyāta lakṣa ghālela kī kavitā raçata basela, tulāça ṭhāūka!" And Priya, when she finishes her education, whether she will look into the business or compose poetry idly, only You know! आम्ही हाक दिली, म्हणून अर्जुननं परदेश सोडला आणि कारखान्याची, बँकेची जबाबदारी घेतली. "Āmhī hāka dilī, mhaṇūna Arjunanaṃ paradeśa soḍalā āṇi kārakhānyācī, bank-ecī zabābadārī ghetalī." I called out, so Arjun returned from abroad and took responsibility for the factory and the bank. आम्ही बोललो, म्हणून अर्जुननं सावित्रीला त्या जबाबदारीचा वाटा दिला. "Āmhī bolalo, mhaṇūna Arjunanaṃ Sāvitrīlā tyā zabābadārīçā vāṭā dilā." I spoke, so Arjun gave Savitri a share of that responsibility. आम्ही जेव्हां हट्ट धरला, तेव्हांच अर्जुननं लग्नाला होकार दिला, पण अजून त्याचं मन तयार झालं नाहीये. "Āmhī jevhāṃ haṭṭa dharalā, tevhāṃça Arjunanaṃ lagnālā hokāra dilā, paṇa azūna tyāçaṃ mana tayāra zhālaṃ nāhīye." Only when I insisted, Arjun agreed to marry, but his heart is not ready yet. भैरवदेवा, लवकरच सावित्रीला अर्जुनचं मन जिंकू दे, आणि पुढं त्याच्या प्रत्येक कामात त्याला तिची साथ लाभू दे! "Bhairava-Devā, lavakaraça Sāvitrīlā Arjunaçaṃ mana jiṅkū de, āṇi puḍhaṃ tyācyā pratyeka kāmāta tyālā ticī sātha lābhū de!" Lord Bhairava, may Savitri win Arjun's heart quickly, and then may he have the benefit of her support in everything he does!
Vishvambhar watched his sister intently. Had his grumbling as usual dissembled his inward exultation? He was so close to his goal! Today, Krishna'i must not suspect that her idea to marry Arjun to Savitri was actually his idea ... that Arjun's accomplished personal assistant Savitri Çorage, purportedly the sister of Vidyadhar's deceased classmate, was actually Savi Waghmare, a ninth class dropout and accomplished thief, the unpredictable knight in Vishvambhar's game of chess against Arjun.
Priya called out as she entered. कृष्णाई! बघ, मी कशी दिसतेय? "Kṛṣṇāī! Bagha, mī kaśī disateya?" Krishna'i! Look, how do I look?
प्रिया, तुला नऊवारी नेसता येते की कुणीतरी नेसवली? "Priyā, tulā naūvārī nesatā yete kī kuṇītarī nesavalī?" Priya, do you know how to dress in a nine-yard saree, or did someone dress you? Krishna'i was impressed.
सावित्री वहिनीला सुवर्णलता नेसवत होती, आणि तिनं मलाही नेसवली. "Sāvitrī Vahinīlā Suvarṇalatā nesavata hotī, āṇi tinaṃ malāhī nesavalī." Suvarnalata was dressing Savitri Vahinī, and she dressed me too. Priya pranced around the room, and Vishvambhar smirked at her innocent delight. In this house, only he and Balaram knew that the cook Dipak and his daughter Suvarnalata were actually Savi's partners in crime, her Dipu Māmā and her best friend Çamaki. Expertise in nine-yard sarees was part and parcel of Çamaki's favourite disguise as an enchanting lāvaṇī dancer.
कृष्णाई, बोटात अंगठी घालताना उखाणा म्हणायचा असतो ना? "Kṛṣṇāī, boṭāta aṅgaṭhī ghālatānā ukhāṇā mhaṇāyaçā asato nā?" Krishna'i, putting a ring on someone's finger, one has to say an ukhāṇā, right? Priya chattered on. अर्जुन दादासाठी आणि सावित्री वहिनीसाठी मी मस्त उखाणे लिहिलेत! "Arjuna Dādāsāṭhī āṇi Sāvitrī Vahinīsāṭhī mī masta ukhāṇe lihileta!" I've written awesome ukhāṇe for Arjun Dādā and for Savitri Vahinī! विश्वंभर मामा, तू पण ऐक! "Viśvaṃbhara Māmā, tū paṇa aika!" Vishvambhar Māmā, you listen too!
Krishna'i and Vishvambhar braced themselves for the doggerel that Priya enthusiastically churned out at least twice a day. Priya cleared her throat and grinned brightly.
हा पहिला उखाणा आहे अर्जुन दादासाठी. "Hā pahilā ukhāṇā āhe Arjuna Dādāsāṭhī." This first ukhāṇā is for Arjun Dādā. समयाची जी ठेवते कदर, तिच्याबद्दल मला वाटतो आदर. सावित्रीचं नांव घेतो. ती दिसते किती सुन्दर! "Samayācī jī ṭhevate kadara, ticyābaddala malā vāṭato ādara. Sāvitrīçaṃ nāṃva gheto. Tī disate kitī sundara!" She who values timing, for her I feel respect. I invoke Savitri's name. How pretty she looks!
Vishvambhar burst out with a hearty laugh, and Krishna'i said between giggles, अर्जुनचं ब्रीदवाक्य - जिला वेळाची कदर नाही, तिच्यासाठी माझ्या मनात आदर नाही - हेच तू उखाण्यात गुंफलेस! "Arjunaçaṃ brīdavākya - 'Jilā veḷācī kadara nāhī, ticyāsāṭhī mājhyā manāta ādara nāhī!' - heça tū ukhāṇyāta gumphalesa!" Arjun's motto - 'Whoever doesn't value time, my mind has no respect for her!' - is what you wove into an ukhāṇā!
हो, पण वेळ हा शब्द बदलून सुरुवातीचा शब्द समय असा घेतला, कारण समय ... समई ... उखाण्यात समईचा उल्लेख केला की पुढचे शब्द कसे उजळून जातात! "Ho, paṇa 'veḷa' hā śabda badalūna suruvātīçā śabda 'samaya' asā ghetalā, kāraṇa samaya ... samaī ... ukhāṇyāta samaīçā ullekha kelā kī puḍhaçe śabda kase uzaḷūna zātāta!" Yes, but I changed the word 'time' so that the first word would be 'timing,' because it sounds like 'lampstand.' Once you allude to a lampstand in an ukhāṇā, the next words totally get illuminated!
लई विचार करून तू हा उखाणा रचला आहेस, प्रिया! "Laī vicāra karūna tū hā ukhāṇā raçalā āhesa, Priyā!" You gave a lot of thought to composing this ukhāṇā, Priya! Krishna'i encouraged her daughter. आता सावित्रीसाठी रचलेला तुझा उखाणा ऐकव! "Ātā Sāvitrīsāṭhī raçalelā tuzhā ukhāṇā aikava!" Now, let's hear the ukhāṇā that you composed for Savitri!
ऐका! "Aikā!" Listen! सासर आहे दुधाचा ग्लास, त्यात पडणार आहे माझा साखरेसारखा गोडवा. कवठेकरांचा तर साखरेचा कारखानाच आहे! अर्जुनरावांचं नांव घेते. वाजवा रे वाजवा! "Sāsara āhe dudhāçā glass, tyāta paḍaṇāra āhe māzhā sākharesārakhā goḍavā. Kavaṭhekarāṃçā tara sākhareçā kārakhānāça āhe! Arjunarāvāṃçaṃ nāṃva ghete. Vāzavā re vāzavā!" The marital home is a glass of milk, into which my sweetness will drop like sugar. The Kavathekars actually have a sugar factory! I invoke Arjun-rāva's name. Musicians, play, play!
Vishvambhar snorted. Krishna'i gulped, and asked, प्रिया, तू हा उखाणा सावित्रीला ऐकवला आहेस का? "Priyā, tū hā ukhāṇā Sāvitrīlā aikavalā āhesa kā?" Priya, have you shared this ukhāṇā with Savitri?
Priya shook her head.
जा, आधी तिला विचार की तुझा उखाणा तिला चालेल का, की स्वतः उखाणा रचण्याची तिची इच्छा आहे? "Zā, ādhī tilā vicāra kī tuzhā ukhāṇā tilā çālela kā, kī svataḥ ukhāṇā raçaṇyācī ticī icchā āhe?" Go, first ask her whether your ukhāṇā will suit her, or her wish is to compose her own ukhāṇā?
Priya happily agreed, and went off in search of Savitri.
In Priya's bedroom, Savi stood before Çamaki, fully dressed and adorned for her sākharapuḍā. There was nothing left to do but wait for the pūjā to begin, after which she would exchange rings with Arjun.
कसला विचार करतेस गं, सावे? "Kasalā vicāra karatesa gaṃ, Sāve?" What's in your thoughts, hey, Savi? Çamaki asked.
मदर माउलीचा, आणखी काय? "Mother Māulīçā, āṇakhī kāya?" Mother Māulī, what else? तिच्या मेंदूतलं अर्बुद काढण्याच्या शस्त्रक्रियेसाठी पैसे तो विश्वंभर देतोय, नाही तर मी त्या तिरसटाबरोबर लग्नाला कधीच उभी राहिले नसते. "Ticyā mendūtalaṃ arbuda kāḍhaṇyācyā śastrakriyesāṭhī paise to Viśvaṃbhara detoya, nāhī tara mī tyā tirasaṭābarobara lagnālā kadhīça ubhī rāhile nasate." That Vishvambhar is paying for the surgery to remove the tumour from her brain; otherwise, I would never have stepped up for marriage to that cross-natured man. पण काय करणार? "Paṇa kāya karaṇāra?" Anyway, what can I do? विश्वंभरची काळ्या पैश्यांनी भरलेली गाडी चोरून मी त्या बिचाऱ्या मुलाला, त्या साहिलला सायकलवरून उडवून ठार मारलं, आणि त्यासाठी जर मला तुरुंगवासाची शिक्षा भोगावी लागली तर मदर माउलीचं काय होईल? "Viśvaṃbharacī kāḷyā paiśyāṃnī bharalelī gāḍī çorūna mī tyā bicāryā mulālā, tyā Sāhilalā cycle-varūna uḍavūna ṭhāra māralaṃ, āṇi tyāsāṭhī zara malā turuṅgavāsācī śikṣā bhogāvī lāgalī tara Mother Māulīçaṃ kāya hoīla?" I stole Vishvambhar's car full of illegal cash, knocked that poor kid Sahil off his bicycle, and killed him, and if I have to do time in prison for that, then what will happen to Mother Māulī?
उगाच तणाव घेऊ नकोस! "Ugāça taṇāva gheū nakosa!" Don't get tensed up needlessly! Çamaki tried to cheer up her best friend. आपल्याला तुरुंगात पाठवून विश्वंभरच्या हातांना सोनं लागणार आहे काय? "Āpalyālā turuṅgāta pāṭhavūna Viśvaṃbharacyā hātāṃnā sonaṃ lāgaṇāra āhe kāya?" Will sending us to prison lead Vishvambhar to a goldmine? उलट त्यानं आपल्याला एका गरीबांच्या शत्रूची लेवल करण्याची संधी दिली आहे. "Ulaṭa tyānaṃ āpalyālā ekā garībāñcyā śatrūcī level karaṇyācī saṃdhī dilī āhe." Instead, he has given us the opportunity to level an enemy of the poor. लग्नाचं फक्त नाटक करायचं, नवस फेडल्याशिवाय जवळीक नाही अशी सबब सांगून त्या अर्जुन कवठेकरला तहानलेला ठेवायचं, त्याच्या सह्या घ्यायच्या, आणि फुर्रकन उडून जायचं! "Lagnāçaṃ phakta nāṭaka karāyaçaṃ, navasa pheḍalyāśivāya zavaḷīka nāhī aśī sababa sāṅgūna tyā Arjuna Kavaṭhekaralā tahānalelā ṭhevāyaçaṃ, tyācyā sahyā ghyāyacyā, āṇi phurrakana uḍūna zāyaçaṃ!" You just have to play-act the wedding, keep that Arjun Kavathekar thirsty by telling him 'no intimacy without fulfilling my pledge' as a pretext, get his signatures, and flap-flap-fly away!
जसा माझा बाप मदर माउलीला सोडून पळून गेला, अगदी तसंच! "Zasā māzhā bāpa Mother Māulīlā soḍūna paḷūna gelā, agadī tasaṃça!" The way my father left Mother Māulī and ran away, exactly like that! Savi muttered. त्यानं सुद्धा तिला फसवून तिच्या देहाचा वापर करण्यासाठी लग्नाचं नाटकच केलं होतं. "Tyānaṃ suddhā tilā phasavūna ticyā dehāçā vāpara karaṇyāsāṭhī lagnāçaṃ nāṭakaça kelaṃ hotaṃ." He too had made only a play-act of a wedding to deceive her and exploit her body. पण ते भेटले त्या गांवात मदर माउली एकटी पोरगी होती, म्हणून त्यांचा असा साखरपुडा कधी झाला नसेलच. "Paṇa te bheṭale tyā gāmvāta Mother Māulī ekaṭī poragī hotī, mhaṇūna tyāṃçā asā sākharapuḍā kadhī zhālā naselaça." But in the town where they met, Mother Māulī was a girl on her own, so an engagement like this would never have happened for them.
Çamaki put a sympathetic hand on Savi's shoulder, but said nothing. All anyone knew about Savi's father was that he had called himself Anil Waghmare and worked as a taxi driver; he had disappeared just before his wife went into labour and delivered Savi. Sharada Kākī wore kuṅkū and a maṅgaḷasūtra as constant reminders of him, but she never spoke of him.
Would Savi be able to discard those marital symbols, and the engagement ring that Arjun would give her today, as easily as the disguises she routinely wore to hoodwink and fleece rich folks?
Unlike Savi, Arjun was alone in his bedroom, and still examining his appearance. As always, the mirror told him that no one could find fault. Only he knew what he had done and why he shouldn't get married.
"I'm sorry. That's what I'm telling you. I'm sorry." Arjun's thoughts replayed the words that he had said when they didn't mean enough, the same words that it was too late to say, now that they mattered.
He couldn't go on reliving the past, Arjun told himself. He had to wipe the slate clean and allow himself to feel the fascination for Savitri that terrified him. His arousal had felt so forbidden that he had bolted out of the room at Sukha Lodge as soon as he had found himself lying on the bed, looking into Savitri's languid eyes as she lay on top of him. It still felt wrong, as Arjun stood tall and square-shouldered in his gold-and-royal-blue outfit on his engagement day, but he knew that in just a few days, his curiosity would no longer be shameful. It would be a husband's imperative.
Who was his wife-to-be, really? Who was Savitri Ganesh Çorage?
Arjun had labelled her मिस वशिला - Miss Vaśilā - Miss Network - when he had guessed that she was a seductress chosen by Vishvambhar Māmā for the clerk's position. The nickname had stuck on his tongue, even after Vidyadhar Dādā's clarification that he used to know Savitri's brother, and she needed a job to support her widowed mother. Savitri was intuitively efficient with her work, a hard-working team player, quick to make friends. Arjun's body had tingled at the sight of Savitri restarting a stalled truck, and he secretly wished to see her beating up somebody, the way Priya had described Savitri going after the louts who had tried to pinch Priya at the mandira. A woman who was as fiercely protective of Priya as Arjun Kavathekar himself ... surely, Arjun could spend his life with her!
Although Arjun had reacted furiously to Savitri's naïve generosity to the alcoholic workers for whose wages he had set up direct deposit into their wives' accounts - and could anyone blame him, when the ingrates had used her handouts to get drunk and burn an effigy of Arjun at his door? - Arjun had to admit that Savitri's unselfishness was after his own heart. He could marry her without worrying that she might resent him for personally underwriting a loan that was headed for default at the bank ... or for giving back the seized collateral that was a rickshaw driver's livelihood ... or in general, for investing in people who had nothing but blessings to give in return. Soon, it would be his husbandly duty to protect impulsive Savitri from anyone who might try to scam her.
Arjun had promised to obey Krishna'i, and he could be happy with Savitri, but did he deserve to be? Was he doing the right thing?
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