Resurgence | Arshi FF | Thread 2 | thread 3 link posted on page 150 - Page 86

Originally posted by: You-Know-Who

Hi Tashi,

You do not have to apologize. Feel free to butt in! I just forget the list of people to tag!

As for your thoughts, I agree! I think that if you constantly put someone else in front of your needs, that is bound to create an imbalance. Eventually ending up with pain, and nothing much else! I think it is also wrong on the other person to make them your everything. It is hard for that person to live up to this kind of devotion as well.

And I mentioned about whether such love is worthy of praise or not, because I think in my opinion praise and what we strive for goes hand in hand. Such love is revered, looked for and I wonder if that is the right thing to do! And if its not right, then should it be praised?

But it’s also true these people expect so less, like for example khushi of this story was loving him, not expecting him to return that kind of devotion. All she was asking from him was to be there.

Thats why Arnav flipped out, he could not forgive himself for not being happy about the baby despite trying. As she never asked him much. Just he should have understood sooner, she wanted him more than anything else. I guess Arnav made it like a pressure when it was not.

I guess when there are emotions involved, there is no right or wrong.

Emotions are always very complicated.

I also have one question, how do you know who loves more in a relationship. Two different personalities can have different ways of loving and expressing. Even Arnav had put on this added pressure on Khushi of she being his anchor.

Originally posted by: tashi26

hey sorry for butting in your conversation but could not help myself.

I have never understood how can a person love someone like this, make their entire world revolve around that someone, This kind of devotion needs to be cherished and respected but in most cases they are not.

Is such love kind of love worthy of praise ‘yes’ but is it right ‘I don’t think so’.

Shouldnt one love their own self first then someone else. You should never do that kind of disservice to your own self.

And Khushi of this story has learnt her lesson too. She is paying the price of loving others before herself.

It’s just so sad.

It’s sad but, really true. It’s not good to love anyone that you loose your identity!!! She was a sophisticated woman of substance. She lead a ngo for abused woman and children but never fought for her own rights!!! Her husband left bedroom , she got busy providing comfortable pillows , instead of tackling the bill by horns, really not healthy !!! Her character though sweet but is of a really weak and insecure woman!!! The very reason she believed that Arnav had an affair looking at the pictures and didn’t smell the fish!! I think they both were quite beaten down with the curve ball. I would like to see them fight for themselves.

Originally posted by: BollyBabe75

Hey, You! Thanks for tagging me. Maybe you did because you have read some of my previous posts in how Khushi bears some responsibility for the troubles in their marriage. Khushi’s flaws were always deferring to Arnav, always putting him first, never asking for more when she clearly should have. The reasons were reiterated in my earlier posts. When there should have been emotional deep discussions like around the child issue it never really happened.

Because Khushi never passionately voiced her needs, Arnav could only guess. Yes, he understood her quite well but not completely. Arnav was a man who liked control, ran from his feelings so he gladly let it be. In fact he stopped it with his curt behavior. He prided himself on how civilly they behaved with each other. But he got it very, very wrong. Basically, he was bored of a passionless marriage, not in terms necessarily of the physical. He is a man who feels the need to conquer, to solve problems. He says his and Khushi’s marriage was going no where. He was suffocating in domesticity. Yes, he is a very messed up man going through, as Akash said, maybe an early midlife crisis.

I totally agree with the above points, with the bold ones in particular. I think I had mentioned that in my first ever comment on this story. The moment their personalities did not match up to complement each other in their marriage, their marriage unravelled.

Khushi's exact nature of having unquestionable devotion on him that helped Arnav succeed in life in the beginning of their marriage, actually ended up being the reason for her hurt in the future. Arnav as you mentioned, needs to constantly solve a problem. This is a guy who thinks about what next? during a party for his second company achieving unicorn status. He goes from one problem to another, constantly working/being busy without once taking time to internalize or be self aware! And Khushi does not push him when she needs to, because she has never pushed him in the past : because she has never needed to! It is a tragedy!

Originally posted by: tashi26

Good point, when you see it, you want it for yourself. But then when you get it, it might not be possible for you to actually do it justice.

But it’s also true these people expect so less, like for example khushi of this story was loving him, not expecting him to return that kind of devotion. All she was asking from him was to be there.

Thats why Arnav flipped out, he could not forgive himself for not being happy about the baby despite trying. As she never asked him much. Just he should have understood sooner, she wanted him more than anything else. I guess Arnav made it like a pressure when it was not.

I guess when there are emotions involved, there is no right or wrong.

Emotions are always very complicated.

I also have one question, how do you know who loves more in a relationship. Two different personalities can have different ways of loving and expressing. Even Arnav had put on this added pressure on Khushi of she being his anchor.

My take? You don't. I don't think partners love each other equally or that it is exactly always give and take, 50/50. I guess each person in their lives goes through different phases, and there would be times in a marriage where each one would have to stand up and show up for the other, even at personal cost. I think that is a healthy relationship. A relationship where Arnav has to think "Oh she has never asked for anything, and I am denying her the ONE thing she has asked" is inherently not healthy. Why has she never asked for anything in a ten year marriage? The MAJOR MAJOR reason I think is the way she was conditioned/where she grew up. And obviously Arnav's nurture is also a factor here. When he has had to bear major responsibility all his life at the cost of his own comfort, Khushi was the only one who did not ask for anything from him. I guess this was one reason their marriage worked for that long. But of course, once that phase (of his struggle) got over...they needed to re-balance. And the rebalancing did not happen.

Now, I am going to step into the discussions. I have read the chapter twice. I have read all comments up till now and feel somewhat brave as everyone is respectful of all opinions.

When I started reading the new chapter I almost felt physically sick for Arnav’s pain. Until! Until I got to the part of his talking about the child and his revising his will. What if we didn’t have all of the background knowledge of the kind of immoral woman Lavenya is? How she possibly tried to trap him into sleeping with her? At the very least she did take advantage of him. I am not ready to let Arnav off the hook as he stayed, left himself vulnerable by drinking to access and unless we know differently both of them were drunk when it happened. Neither was using sober judgement if that were the case. But as Akash said, it’s done.

He doesn’t know about the false pregnancy at this point. We don’t either. Yes, we know how responsible Arnav is, a very commendable characteristic of his. He is decent that he doesn’t ask her to abort. He tries to be supportive in an unemotional way, is willing to be financially supportive. All good. But this man seems to hold no other regard for an innocent life who is his own flesh and blood. What kind of a life will this child have? Wants nothing to do with it ever. I get he has no feelings for the mother, but this guy is seriously f*****up. He even goes so far as basically putting it in writing by the will he makes. How would an innocent child perceive this some day.

Khushi is a kind soul. Would she really want all of his riches at the expense of a life that was born out of a drunken coupling that was later abandoned by the biological father? I just can’t like this Arnav.

I would tell Khushi to run as far and as fast away from this really disturbed man. But I can’t because Khushi loves him! She is married to him. And, in Arnav’s mixed up way he loves her too.

Originally posted by: Arilip

It’s sad but, really true. It’s not good to love anyone that you loose your identity!!! She was a sophisticated woman of substance. She lead a ngo for abused woman and children but never fought for her own rights!!! Her husband left bedroom , she got busy providing comfortable pillows , instead of tackling the bill by horns, really not healthy !!! Her character though sweet but is of a really weak and insecure woman!!! The very reason she believed that Arnav had an affair looking at the pictures and didn’t smell the fish!! I think they both were quite beaten down with the curve ball. I would like to see them fight for themselves.

But sometimes things like these happen, you never realise why suddenly your considerate partner of 9 years is behaving like that, he just stonewalled Khushi and she did not understand why. She had expectations too. She wanted him to come to her. He walked out first.

She chose letter as the medium finally because Arnav was just not talking or let her talk.

If Arnav had not behaved the way he did in the entire month of November she might have suspected some foul play in photographs. But the last two pictures will flip out anyone. Arnav was kissing Lunatic, head buried in her kneck. But in her roundabout way she did confirm, only when Aman confirmed about the divorce she lost hope.

Even with Arnav she lost the last of her hope when she knew about him already having a lawyer.

She was just protecting herself.

Now not having confrontational nature does not mean you are weak. They just handle things differently.

Yes, she should prioritise herself. It’s always important.

I also have another question. What did Arnav mean when he was unapologetic in wanting the divorce by saying he could pursue life the way he wanted? He could do what he wanted without interference from friends or family?

Originally posted by: BollyBabe75

Now, I am going to step into the discussions. I have read the chapter twice. I have read all comments up till now and feel somewhat brave as everyone is respectful of all opinions.

When I started reading the new chapter I almost felt physically sick for Arnav’s pain. Until! Until I got to the part of his talking about the child and his revising his will. What if we didn’t have all of the background knowledge of the kind of immoral woman Lavenya is? How she possibly tried to trap him into sleeping with her? At the very least she did take advantage of him. I am not ready to let Arnav off the hook as he stayed, left himself vulnerable by drinking to access and unless we know differently both of them were drunk when it happened. Neither was using sober judgement if that were the case. But as Akash said, it’s done.

He doesn’t know about the false pregnancy at this point. We don’t either. Yes, we know how responsible Arnav is, a very commendable characteristic of his. He is decent that he doesn’t ask her to abort. He tries to be supportive in an unemotional way, is willing to be financially supportive. All good. But this man seems to hold no other regard for an innocent life who is his own flesh and blood. What kind of a life will this child have? Wants nothing to do with it ever. I get he has no feelings for the mother, but this guy is seriously f*****up. He even goes so far as basically putting it in writing by the will he makes. How would an innocent child perceive this some day.

Khushi is a kind soul. Would she really want all of his riches at the expense of a life that was born out of a drunken coupling that was later abandoned by the biological father? I just can’t like this Arnav.

I would tell Khushi to run as far and as fast away from this really disturbed man. But I can’t because Khushi loves him! She is married to him. And, in Arnav’s mixed up way he loves her too.

I really want to point out his reaction to the pregnancy news.

A) He didn’t lie to anyone when he said he doesn’t want a child. I dont think he hates all children. He is just very sure he doesn’t want the responsibility for himself. I’d actually be a little pissed if he felt elated for his own flesh and blood when he had gone through hell to ready himself for Khushi’s sake and couldn’t. He locked himself in a room and asked how could he not give Khushi this happiness and ultimately decided this is the one thing where he won’t compromise. He was THAT sure. I see no reason why all this would change just because he received the news that a woman is actually pregnant who is A) not his wife and B) is pregnant because of a mistake he already abhors. I’m glad he told Lavanya that out right too without expecting her to abort.

B) I re read his interaction with the lawyer. He never said his child doesn’t get anything. He did say that he knows the law and his child will obviously get some of his property which he will take care of later.

What he wanted to safeguard was only Khushi and his family’s interest. Because now he was sure of divorce and his leading question was if his only biological child can contest his will against his divorced wife.

He didn’t deny his child the due share. He only protected Khushi’s. What he denied this child was his emotional availability. And that’s the hill he was willing to let his 10 year old marriage die on

Originally posted by: BollyBabe75

I also have another question. What did Arnav mean when he was unapologetic in wanting the divorce by saying he could pursue life the way he wanted? He could do what he wanted without interference from friends or family?

😊