Genuine question - Page 4

Originally posted by: misfit007

I've had similar experiences but in a different way.In my case, I was the child-like Abhir, seven at the time. I see some comments and the whole situation, and it's often triggering.

My dad got my custody, and for years I heard how my mother abandoned me. In his opinion, he was being honest about what happened. I only heard how it was her fault that their divorce occurred. He was always real and honest with me, based on whatever was real and true for him.

However, that realness and truth were emotionally and mentally damaging, though. I grew up not understanding why or how a mother could just leave her child. And I couldn't ask her because she passed away a year and a half later.

I'm in my late 20s now, and I've only realised in the past few years how my mother wasn't there to defend herself, so what I knew was all one-sided, that divorces don't happen wrong and that there are things that young children should never be told when they are children, even if it is true because it scars them and they internalise everything.

I learned later in life by collecting bits and pieces that the real truth differed from my dad's version. My mom gave up my custody because she knew I would be better off with him. It wasn't really her choice. Still, It's debatable how well that worked out because emotionally preoccupied or broken fathers can't do much nurturing.

I don't question his love, but I certainly wasn't his priority in an absolute sense. His emotional and mental preoccupation always took precedence over my well-being. 20 years and 3 other marriages later, he's still preoccupied with my mom being his true love and his real wife; I have to keep reminding him they divorced before she died and wasn't his wife then.

Because of this, I feel strongly about hiding the truth from children if they are too young to handle it. You don't have to lie to them, but they don't have to be told everything, and when you do share something with them, it has to be done tactfully.

Children are meant to be protected; they aren't adults who have the functionality to process complex situations, even if they are resilient. It does more damage than good to their psyche. The most important thing is for children to have stability and emotional security. They will accept all kinds of change if they continue to have that.

Knowing that your parents left you or gave up on you, for whatever reason, makes you insecure and have abandonment and commitment issues; not everyone can face them and move on.

It took me years of therapy to overcome that and let go seeking external validation, people-pleasing etc. because I was scared of losing the people around me. I'm still struggling, and I'm a grown independent individual.

In forums like this, it's always entirely black and white. People are on one side or another, and many of the comments just start hitting you. They become personal and are unwilling to accept differences of opinion, instead becoming hellbent on proving they are right.

It is so important to be kind in how you say your opinions, even if you disagree with what's being said.

But I do wish, with this level of polarity, that people just stick to like-minded posts.

Word it ! The bolded part , thx for saying this , I wanted to say this since when but couldn't find the right words. Thx a lot 💓

Reading the real experiences makes me so emotional.. there r so many who say shows r made for entertainment but it really can be very triggering, sometimes life changing too..its stupid to say people don't get influenced..

More power to you 🤗 Stay healthy stay strong !

Originally posted by: cutepigs

Something I am noticing is that people who support Abhimanyu and people who support Akshnav are fighting and hiting below the belt everywhere. We all have our opinions and reasons for believing who we do and we are all allowed to also.

What my question is, why can't each of the groups talk only within the groups? Like minded people discussing like minded ideas. Why does either of the other group even have to comment on the other topic? I do this, I check if the topic itself is very one sided in the first post or is it generic discussion and then if it's against what I believe, I dont comment only. When someone responds to me with a negative comment or question me, I try to reason but when they don't seem like they want to try to see my point, I just agree to disagree and leave.

People don’t agree that other r not liking the person they like…..they do post mockery,name callings,mock their emotions,….etc so. Others get agitated by them and start fan wars in everything…..my take on what u said is correct and also there has to be some limits while posting anything…we should not cross like like mocking sensitive stuff or name calling then these type of fights will reduce

My mom always taught me something growing up. Words hold a lot of power, and when those words are used to write a story and make them story be in front of people, whether with a book, TV, film, the person writing has an obligation to deserve and uphold the power he has in a good way. Spiderman dialogue, with great power, comes great responsibility.

I liked DKP because they were showing real life scenarios with some creative liberty. And coming from Ekta Kapoor Era, it seemed amazing. And then they started deviating. It started looking like personal agendas or degrading characters to hype up others, overly forgiving FLs, overly dramatized drama, overly degradation of MLs, and they followed it everywhere, Anupama, YRKKH. Abuse victims turning negative, reformed relatives becoming abusers, complete lack of touch with reality. Even Kairav's custody was handled better without the child being affected, he only came to know of some parts because he heard his mom and her brother. Kartik ensuring he doesn't scold Vedika in front of Kairav, Naira never saying 1 bad word against Kartik to him, in fact no family member doing that, it was assuring to see mature people. But here, the only person you feel bad for is the child. The incompetence of the 3 parents to put their foot down for their child, insecurity of the adoptive father, revenge/ pain of the mother, to some extent zidd of the father, got the child to a point where the only 1 emotion he knows is fear.

Originally posted by: misfit007

I've had similar experiences but in a different way.In my case, I was the child-like Abhir, seven at the time. I see some comments and the whole situation, and it's often triggering.

My dad got my custody, and for years I heard how my mother abandoned me. In his opinion, he was being honest about what happened. I only heard how it was her fault that their divorce occurred. He was always real and honest with me, based on whatever was real and true for him.

However, that realness and truth were emotionally and mentally damaging, though. I grew up not understanding why or how a mother could just leave her child. And I couldn't ask her because she passed away a year and a half later.

I'm in my late 20s now, and I've only realised in the past few years how my mother wasn't there to defend herself, so what I knew was all one-sided, that divorces don't happen wrong and that there are things that young children should never be told when they are children, even if it is true because it scars them and they internalise everything.

I learned later in life by collecting bits and pieces that the real truth differed from my dad's version. My mom gave up my custody because she knew I would be better off with him. It wasn't really her choice. Still, It's debatable how well that worked out because emotionally preoccupied or broken fathers can't do much nurturing.

I don't question his love, but I certainly wasn't his priority in an absolute sense. His emotional and mental preoccupation always took precedence over my well-being. 20 years and 3 other marriages later, he's still preoccupied with my mom being his true love and his real wife; I have to keep reminding him they divorced before she died and wasn't his wife then.

Because of this, I feel strongly about hiding the truth from children if they are too young to handle it. You don't have to lie to them, but they don't have to be told everything, and when you do share something with them, it has to be done tactfully.

Children are meant to be protected; they aren't adults who have the functionality to process complex situations, even if they are resilient. It does more damage than good to their psyche. The most important thing is for children to have stability and emotional security. They will accept all kinds of change if they continue to have that.

Knowing that your parents left you or gave up on you, for whatever reason, makes you insecure and have abandonment and commitment issues; not everyone can face them and move on.

It took me years of therapy to overcome that and let go seeking external validation, people-pleasing etc. because I was scared of losing the people around me. I'm still struggling, and I'm a grown independent individual.

In forums like this, it's always entirely black and white. People are on one side or another, and many of the comments just start hitting you. They become personal and are unwilling to accept differences of opinion, instead becoming hellbent on proving they are right.

It is so important to be kind in how you say your opinions, even if you disagree with what's being said.

But I do wish, with this level of polarity, that people just stick to like-minded posts.

More power to u girll✌️ it’s very brave to come outand put up your experience before people…..like i said in my other posts people are going too much into characters and they r not realizing it triggers real people and emotions…so don’t let them into your head…send love and hugs 🫂

Originally posted by: cutepigs

My mom always taught me something growing up. Words hold a lot of power, and when those words are used to write a story and make them story be in front of people, whether with a book, TV, film, the person writing has an obligation to deserve and uphold the power he has in a good way. Spiderman dialogue, with great power, comes great responsibility.

I liked DKP because they were showing real life scenarios with some creative liberty. And coming from Ekta Kapoor Era, it seemed amazing. And then they started deviating. It started looking like personal agendas or degrading characters to hype up others, overly forgiving FLs, overly dramatized drama, overly degradation of MLs, and they followed it everywhere, Anupama, YRKKH. Abuse victims turning negative, reformed relatives becoming abusers, complete lack of touch with reality. Even Kairav's custody was handled better without the child being affected, he only came to know of some parts because he heard his mom and her brother. Kartik ensuring he doesn't scold Vedika in front of Kairav, Naira never saying 1 bad word against Kartik to him, in fact no family member doing that, it was assuring to see mature people. But here, the only person you feel bad for is the child. The incompetence of the 3 parents to put their foot down for their child, insecurity of the adoptive father, revenge/ pain of the mother, to some extent zidd of the father, got the child to a point where the only 1 emotion he knows is fear.

Absolutely

Words hold a lot of power n that’s what made the writer/maker drunk with it lol that’s the reason the ego is king size…not willing to see what is working n what is not…not receptive to audience…n the complete mayhem in the story …leap after leap n no plot or copy padti v from other shows which makes zero sense or personal agendas…end result crap 😅🤷‍♀️

He is still around I thought he is no more?. Some clip saw his pic so thought he passed away.

Yes he’s still alive (unfortunately) they mentioned that he’s in Surat but in reality the actor is on a break and is in the USA.

Originally posted by: --Priyaa--

Yes I used to watch this show on and off How I Met Your Mother and Barney was pretty iconic and hilarious 😁🩷

Have you seen the ending of this show!! It’s another classic example of how to destroy your own creation 🙄

Originally posted by: cutepigs

My mom always taught me something growing up. Words hold a lot of power, and when those words are used to write a story and make them story be in front of people, whether with a book, TV, film, the person writing has an obligation to deserve and uphold the power he has in a good way. Spiderman dialogue, with great power, comes great responsibility.

Won't comment on dkp bec they r there to make money and use audience emotions as triggers.

What ur mom said is cent percent true....there is also this fact ke we can never control what others are saying but we can control how we react to it , how we take it.....just as , we may be very good drivers but we can't drive all the cars out there if we don't like how others drive ...everyone will hVe their views...and they will always be conflicting at some point . no use holding grudges or keeping great expectations

Originally posted by: NomadicWonders

Have you seen the ending of this show!! It’s another classic example of how to destroy your own creation 🙄

Yes I hated the ending..seriously the show was called ‘How I Met Your Mother’ and anybody will think it’s about Ted meeting his future wife Tracy and a happy ending..but then no she dies soon after she is introduced and the ml Ted goes after his ex and crush Robin again..I prefered Robin with Barney and Ted with Tracy those pairs had better chemistry and sense..but they totally ruined it at the end..

story of yrkkh is suffering same way it makes no sense😳