Genuine question - Page 3

Originally posted by: --Priyaa--

Yes good idea, please everytime there is a fight post this and get a fake heart attack to switch attention 😁🤣

That's Barney, right? 😆

Originally posted by: shahsb_26

That's Barney, right? 😆

Yes I used to watch this show on and off How I Met Your Mother and Barney was pretty iconic and hilarious 😁🩷

I am so sorry for the experience but I am definitely glad to hear you are doing better.

My reasons for not supporting Akshnav are along the lines that they are because Abhir was questioning why he was left by his father and now, hates his father due to the half truths Goenkas and Sharmas have fed him. Doesn't change that they have been amazing parents in his upbringing, but also doesn't change that they messed up in this.

Yes, the attacking here is horrible and triggering, so I do believe people should stick to the side they like to avoid this since clearly, it's not gonna change.

I personally feel if it's posted on the main forum, everyone could participate but it need not get too toxic. I, personally, avoided all posts that I know would focus on Abhinav / Akshu bashing or praises for some character I don't like for a few days.

However, it so happens that in such cases more and more threads come up with almost similar topics with almost 8-9 pages filled or sometimes instead of responding to the post, counter posts are created. I decided to reply only based on what I feel about character or situation to selected posts but that's not with an expectation that someone will respond 😆 it's more like venting frustration for countering the idea presented and specially you sometimes know the intention of the post too.

I feel that should be fine, only I wish how it could be done like more politely. I am personally not against character bashing - fictional characters not real people members/actors , but when one starts and another starts and it goes on and on... And then came use of report power to see unlimited posts being deleted, locked or just noted. I have decided to not even report anymore.

Jo bolna hai bolo, I will counter if I disagree or ignore if intention is just to gaslight. Makers aren't going to give lot of importance to any of these that we discuss because had they done that story would have been totally different as more fans want exactly opposite of what's shown.

Originally posted by: --Priyaa--

Yes I used to watch this show on and off How I Met Your Mother and Barney was pretty iconic and hilarious 😁🩷

You and I can talk about lot of shows🤣 in sync except for yrkkh - ...

I also wanted to tell you about Kumkum when I read message yesterday 😈but woh thread lock ho gaya😭

Originally posted by: cutepigs

Something I am noticing is that people who support Abhimanyu and people who support Akshnav are fighting and hiting below the belt everywhere. We all have our opinions and reasons for believing who we do and we are all allowed to also.

What my question is, why can't each of the groups talk only within the groups? Like minded people discussing like minded ideas. Why does either of the other group even have to comment on the other topic? I do this, I check if the topic itself is very one sided in the first post or is it generic discussion and then if it's against what I believe, I dont comment only. When someone responds to me with a negative comment or question me, I try to reason but when they don't seem like they want to try to see my point, I just agree to disagree and leave.

Originally posted by: cutepigs

Example, somebody said to me here I cant understand the pain of a mother losing her child and that's why I am siding with the father. I chose to ignore it even though it was personally triggering. I very very recently lost my newborn nephew, and I saw the pain of parents, so I know that assuming only mothers break or they have pain isn't correct, but I also know me saying that, even if I said with this information, won't have had an effect because the person already put me in the "non empathetic" person category and them saying it will make me feel worse because it would be triggering for me.

Really sorry for what you had to endure..I agree a few things can be very triggering..in the show and the forum too..its imp we reply politely, take some time off ..

Mostly all the topics are anti akshara or anti abhimanyu , counter posts and so on ..the tone of some members is mocking although they talk abt the characters only, but actually it's directed to the views of other members ...I stopped visiting some of the threads for this reason ..everyone thinks that mocking characters is same as mocking their fans...the truth is every single character is worth trolling ..

When the emotional attachment grows so much , it becomes unhealthy ...unfortunately . I can only say don't take things to your heart ..I know easier said than done but still..we can try..a few years bk I was very volatile very sensitive but i learnt to let go ..it happened quite often that someone who I had really ugly interactions in one forum became my friend in the other forum n i didn't even remember who said what 😆

Originally posted by: misfit007

I've had similar experiences but in a different way.In my case, I was the child-like Abhir, seven at the time. I see some comments and the whole situation, and it's often triggering.

My dad got my custody, and for years I heard how my mother abandoned me. In his opinion, he was being honest about what happened. I only heard how it was her fault that their divorce occurred. He was always real and honest with me, based on whatever was real and true for him.

However, that realness and truth were emotionally and mentally damaging, though. I grew up not understanding why or how a mother could just leave her child. And I couldn't ask her because she passed away a year and a half later.

I'm in my late 20s now, and I've only realised in the past few years how my mother wasn't there to defend herself, so what I knew was all one-sided, that divorces don't happen wrong and that there are things that young children should never be told when they are children, even if it is true because it scars them and they internalise everything.

I learned later in life by collecting bits and pieces that the real truth differed from my dad's version. My mom gave up my custody because she knew I would be better off with him. It wasn't really her choice. Still, It's debatable how well that worked out because emotionally preoccupied or broken fathers can't do much nurturing.

I don't question his love, but I certainly wasn't his priority in an absolute sense. His emotional and mental preoccupation always took precedence over my well-being. 20 years and 3 other marriages later, he's still preoccupied with my mom being his true love and his real wife; I have to keep reminding him they divorced before she died and wasn't his wife then.

Because of this, I feel strongly about hiding the truth from children if they are too young to handle it. You don't have to lie to them, but they don't have to be told everything, and when you do share something with them, it has to be done tactfully.

Children are meant to be protected; they aren't adults who have the functionality to process complex situations, even if they are resilient. It does more damage than good to their psyche. The most important thing is for children to have stability and emotional security. They will accept all kinds of change if they continue to have that.

Knowing that your parents left you or gave up on you, for whatever reason, makes you insecure and have abandonment and commitment issues; not everyone can face them and move on.

It took me years of therapy to overcome that and let go seeking external validation, people-pleasing etc. because I was scared of losing the people around me. I'm still struggling, and I'm a grown independent individual.

In forums like this, it's always entirely black and white. People are on one side or another, and many of the comments just start hitting you. They become personal and are unwilling to accept differences of opinion, instead becoming hellbent on proving they are right.

It is so important to be kind in how you say your opinions, even if you disagree with what's being said.

But I do wish, with this level of polarity, that people just stick to like-minded posts.

Originally posted by: shahsb_26

You and I can talk about lot of shows🤣 in sync except for yrkkh - ...

I also wanted to tell you about Kumkum when I read message yesterday 😈but woh thread lock ho gaya😭

Yes I loved Kumkum too Sumit-Kumkum are my forever favourite couple ♥️ and I still watch their clips..I watched Big bang theory and lot more shows and even recently a handful of kdramas..

Yes we do like similar shows only problem is yrkkh and it’s totally fine to have different preferences 😁😊

Hopefully someday soon we will meet in a forum where we can find common ground and agree on discussions 😊😁

Right now I’m on this new show Barsaatein’s forum too.. show is starting next week and many Yrrkh members and many other members are already active there..

https://www.indiaforums.com/show/barsatein_7040

I am sorry for what you had to go through. I hope you continue getting stronger. ❤️

Thanks for sharing with us. I too believe kids deserve to be protected from negative experiences of adults until they can understand without getting insecure or troubled. They should be explained things their way without taking away their emotional security - which is why I find the way its shown in promo inconsiderate.

Also, as parents they could have better prepared him for what could happen or seeing Abhir’s stress tried to stop the case again. He shouldn’t be aware of all the struggles of his parents - financial, emotional(a 6 year old having to calm his mother’s anxiety attack) and now this custody. I hope he is not shown carrying Abhimanyu’s emotional baggage too! Unfortunately ITV shows kids dealing with their parents issues and make it seem so normal and casual.

I have no issues with whoever Akshara is paired with - I just don’t find her responsible or mature. Also, don’t like the narrative of her starting to live with a stranger she met on bus - it looks like some plot taken out of crime patrol and given a happy ending twist. The story could have been so much better to show her moving on and how she befriended Abhinav.