Women's choices with regards to their career

Few years ago I had this conversation with my friend whose name could be let's say A.

A: Congratulations on your baby!

Me: Thank you

A: How's life after the baby? I am sure you must be dying to go back to work.

Me: No, I quit my job.

A (shocked): Why? Why did you quit your job?

Me: I want to focus on my baby for the next few years....

A: Are you mad? How can you leave your career for your baby? Just leave it in daycare. The baby will be fine.

Me: I don't want to leave my baby in daycare. I would rather take care of it myself.

A: Did your husband or in-laws force you to quit your job? 

Me: It was completely my decision. 

A: Are you mad? Your life without career will be incomplete. You will lose your financial independence. You have to be dependent on your husband for everything now. Your parents didn't spend so much money in your education just for you to sit at home doing nothing...

This was actually a true conversation with one of my friends. In fact there were few others friends of mine too who were against me quitting my job and they too had told the same thing, a woman's life without her career has zero value/a homemaker loses her identity in her family. 

I know career for women is very important but it's more about Career woman vs Homemaker. It's really sad to know that some women themselves look down upon homemakers. If a woman wants to become a homemaker whether it's for few years or forever, why should her decision be questioned? I know financial independence is very important in a woman's life but if a woman chooses to be a homemaker, her decision should be respected. After all homemakers 'do not sit at home doing nothing'. Nor are they completely dependent on their husband for everything. I feel people need to stop looking down upon homemakers. After all, their value in their family is NOT zero.

What's your take on this?

I do not have problem with anyone's choice but i personally suggest my friends and family to have some source of income. My reasons are simple. 

1. We can not predict future. 

2. Inflation is more in future. 

3. If we start late we may not get the type of work we like as given our age the companies expect experienced candidates. 

4. We can not take risks if something goes wrong with only source of income that we has and it should not affect the kid's education and other normal things because of that. 

5. As time passes we will loose confidence. 

6. We will become lazy too. 🙂

I always suggests my friends and family if it's not full time job learn some skills. May it be stitching or embroidery or dancing or singing or gardening etc. So that in case of any issues arrises in future these talents can be used and these does not need experience too 🙂

There should be many flexible jobs or part time jobs created for women who want to give some time to their personal life also. I feel the options are very limited.

You're absolutely right to defend your decision! and to be frank, you just changed the profession and you still should get payed (by the money-gaining partner). If anyone asks you what you do professionally, you can always say that you're a manager (which is right as you manage the houshold and the family life). 😊

Nobody with so much work at home that she/he wants to do should feel the need to defend that decision.

On the other hand, someone who doesn't want to abandon a professional carreer, should try everything responsibly possible to manage that, too.

The most important person should be the most weak one, the most defenseless one, the most dependant one...at least for the decisions one makes.

Originally posted by: Life_Is_Dutiful

Few years ago I had this conversation with my friend whose name could be let's say A.

A: Congratulations on your baby!

Me: Thank you

A: How's life after the baby? I am sure you must be dying to go back to work.

Me: No, I quit my job.

A (shocked): Why? Why did you quit your job?

Me: I want to focus on my baby for the next few years....

A: Are you mad? How can you leave your career for your baby? Just leave it in daycare. The baby will be fine.

Me: I don't want to leave my baby in daycare. I would rather take care of it myself.

A: Did your husband or in-laws force you to quit your job? 

Me: It was completely my decision. 

A: Are you mad? Your life without career will be incomplete. You will lose your financial independence. You have to be dependent on your husband for everything now. Your parents didn't spend so much money in your education just for you to sit at home doing nothing...

This was actually a true conversation with one of my friends. In fact there were few others friends of mine too who were against me quitting my job and they too had told the same thing, a woman's life without her career has zero value/a homemaker loses her identity in her family. 

I know career for women is very important but it's more about Career woman vs Homemaker. It's really sad to know that some women themselves look down upon homemakers. If a woman wants to become a homemaker whether it's for few years or forever, why should her decision be questioned? I know financial independence is very important in a woman's life but if a woman chooses to be a homemaker, her decision should be respected. After all homemakers 'do not sit at home doing nothing'. Nor are they completely dependent on their husband for everything. I feel people need to stop looking down upon homemakers. After all, their value in their family is NOT zero.

What's your take on this?

First off, I think it's no one's business but your own what you choose to do with your life/career. I think that assumptions and comments like the ones you mentioned above, even if it's from your closest friend, are incredibly invasive and honestly a little disrespectful. Also, choosing to put your career on the back burner for family does not mean the end of your career. 

Originally posted by: foreverlazy

First off, I think it's no one's business but your own what you choose to do with your life/career. I think that assumptions and comments like the ones you mentioned above, even if it's from your closest friend, are incredibly invasive and honestly a little disrespectful. Also, choosing to put your career on the back burner for family does not mean the end of your career. 

Yes it's all about a woman's choice. Financial independence is very important for women but if a woman willingly quits her job for her baby why should she be looked down upon? It was not just one friend but couple of other friends and even some of my husband's colleagues wives who started treating me like I am weak for taking break from my job to take care of my baby. 🤷‍♀️

Their main complaint was "how can you become a homemaker from a career oriented woman? Ewww" 😶 Till then I used to think only men devalue homemakers. I realized then that unfortunately some modern educated women also look down upon them. Anyways the small break that I took for my baby helped me a lot later when I started my career again. 

For me .. my mother is the best. And she is a housemaker. It is only because of her sacrifices that we became successful.

In fact I find housemakers better mothers and wives. I am a working woman, and I know how difficult it is to manage. When I was having babies I had to quit job for 6 yrs. Then I needed help of family and nieghbours. It is too tough for women who have none to help.

Originally posted by: awida

For me .. my mother is the best. And she is a housemaker. It is only because of her sacrifices that we became successful.

In fact I find housemakers better mothers and wives. I am a working woman, and I know how difficult it is to manage. When I was having babies I had to quit job for 6 yrs. Then I needed help of family and nieghbours. It is too tough for women who have none to help.

I believe every woman has value and her every decision needs to be valued. Yes it's difficult for us working women to handle our jobs and families at the same time, give our 100% to everything but sometimes it's all about giving priorities to one thing over the other and there's nothing wrong in that. It's upto a woman if she wants to leave her babies and toddlers in daycare or take a break from her job for few years for the sake of her kids. She's not wrong in any of the scenarios hence should not be questioned for any of the decision she makes.

Originally posted by: firewings_diya

I do not have problem with anyone's choice but i personally suggest my friends and family to have some source of income. My reasons are simple. 

1. We can not predict future. 

2. Inflation is more in future. 

3. If we start late we may not get the type of work we like as given our age the companies expect experienced candidates. 

4. We can not take risks if something goes wrong with only source of income that we has and it should not affect the kid's education and other normal things because of that. 

5. As time passes we will loose confidence. 

6. We will become lazy too. 🙂

I always suggests my friends and family if it's not full time job learn some skills. May it be stitching or embroidery or dancing or singing or gardening etc. So that in case of any issues arrises in future these talents can be used and these does not need experience too 🙂

seconding you on

i am not against choice on being homemaker ...

but the point i want to stress is...

NOT CAREER but a job is a must

reason as one of my friend mentioned in this topic...

1. LIFE IS UNPREDICTABLE.... we cant say what goin to happen next (touchwood...ntg to happen)... 

the people who say will be always with you... may leave you at a time... when you really need them.... At this moment, something comes to help is your job, financial independence, 

for ths reason... A women should have a job and earning... its not to be for career success. but for your future safety