Hindu Marriage Ritual: Kanyadaan - Page 8

Came across this by accident. Very interesting topic. 

I wasn’t comfortable with the concept & asked my father’s permission to skip it for mine. My father gave me few books & told me to go through it & then form an opinion & explain my choice. After my research I told him I still want to skip it. But my intention is not to disrespect him or his position in my life. I didn’t like the fact that the groom is asked if he accepts the bride where as bride is not asked to give her consent. In most religions bride is supposed to give her consent where as in kanyadan father asks would be son in law to take responsibility of his daughter without asking the daughter if she is agreeable. 

Never liked this kanyadhaan ritual for other reasons but this is correct , a bride should also be asked wether she accepts the groom or not...i never saw the problematic aspects of this ritual in this way...i just read the first few posts and came directly to comment , i should read this thread after posting this comment seems very interesting...

My sister had a love-arranged marriage a few years ago and even she did not want to go through this ritual but in the end was persuaded to go through with it , i and my sister didn't like this ritual cause it requires the parents of the bride to touch the leg of the groom and litterally wash it. In our culture we were always taught to respect our elder and seek their blessings by touching their feet in special occasions , but this ritual flips the whole thing on it's head , here the parents of the bride are supposed to wash the feet of the groom , bit the groom's parents won't  do the same for the brides and in some weddings the groom litterally has a smug expression on his face while the girl's  parents are washing their feet😡 ( didn't  happen in my Sis's marriage but my now BIL could've atleast objected this or tried to stop them when this happened) I felt like punching the dude's face when i saw it...bride or grrom , no one's  parents should wash anyone else's feet other than their own. 

Every wedding ritual in India has its own pure essence and symbolism related to various important stages of life as a married couple and as individual too, but as generations have passed the true meanings have started demolishing. For the likes today dowry is something which has turned into such negative ritual but it wasn't always like that. In my culture, the bride's family as well as the groom's family both gift the bride and groom various gifts and jewellery and it's the actual dahej which is gift from parents to their children so that they van start their married life with symbols of blessings from their parents. But aaj people demand dowry as their right being the groom's family aur isliye it has turned so negative and is not supported by majority of the educated people including me.

Agar women are objectified by doing the ritual of Kanyadan then men are too in form of modern dowry where the groom is actually bought by bride's family by paying a huge sum. It's the perspective and purity with which the rituals are performed that matters. 

Kanyadan for me is the greatest gift of all given by the bride’s father to the groom. It also is the act where bride's father or mother or grandparents or any close guardian asks the groom to cherish their daughter with all the happiness and love like they do in form of a spiritual promise.