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The amount of shading I get from this forum members for defending meerab, for "bashing" (in their language) murtasim.
When the same members doesn't even mind correcting the people who call meerab all sort of names, even said things like why did her mom gave birth to her.
Thank u for providing me right đ
It is not Adapting itâs her responsibilities, if she wasnât married and would do these things as a family member then also would you call it adapting?? By adapting, I mean to keep her mind open to all the situations, to everyoneâs pov, I donât know how to explain it, but my views of adapting is not limited to oneâs adaptation to their surroundings or changing their lifestyle, I am talking about opening our minds to someone elseâs opinions, thought process, and accepting that just like our view they too hold importance, they are right and wrong should not be the first concern but accepting that itâs okay if they exist, if people like them exists, just like we have a right to feel what we believe they should have that right as well
Merub is shown to have good intentions grounded in strong ideals and feel passionately about women's rights. But as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
What I see in Merub is a version of the (white) saviour complex. White saviours are when well-intentioned people of (white) privilege do more harm than good when visiting Africa, Asia & Latin America to help ârescueâ BIPOC from their countryâs poverty and lack of development.
We see this phenomenon even locally when well-intentioned urban elites or people of privilege from urban areas go into a village thinking they know the problem and how to solve it (sadly why some NGOs get a bad rep and the NGO aunty is a ridiculed figure). Very often, these types of people lack of knowledge and preparation â they have little understanding of the contexts, power relationships, and ecosystem they are trying to influence. They also assume their textbook ideas will work and are the best way to solve perceived problems â with little regard or inquiry of whatâs needed, wanted, and is already available locally.
The way Merub is written I sadly see this hubris in her (her noble intentions notwithstanding).
The savior mentality means that you want to help others but are not open to guidance from those you want to help. Saviors fundamentally believe they are better than the people they are rescuing. Saviors want to support the struggle of communities that are not their own, but they believe they must remain in charge.â Jordan Flaherty, author of No More Heros: Grassroots Challenges, to the Savior Mentality.
MB passed judgement in what context? It is not same like what they would do. They wonât only raise questions against KMK and MB but will tarnish the Mariamâs character. And it was not like Mariam explained what she wanted, Murtasim is ready to listen and he would have listened if Mariam has told this. You are not ready to see the Mariamâs mistakes just because she is a girl and I believe Murtasim wonât be that bad in your eyes if only he was a girl, his only mistake is that he is a man.
I'm glad someone understands this thing too. In our society every girl gets a free pass for her mistakes. I'm not lying about it. There are girls who relentlessly slaps a boy and disrespects him on street even with wrong assumptions but she is spared for being a girl but if a boy would do the same, he would be called abusive. I'm nowhere denying that a boy shouldn't be called abusive for these things, he should but a girl should be called the same too. Murtasim is abusive for slapping Meerab but Meerab is also abusive for pushing him numerous times. Heck she even has an abusive language but does these things get highlighted? No! Only because she is a girl.
I have mentioned this before as well that Murtasim's every effort is labelled as bare minimum and not worthy of appreciation but still he puts efforts even when they doesn't get reciprocated. Meerab so far has done nothing for him but has he ever complained or demanded to be loved or respected?
It's high time that the society must respect a woman's freedom but at the same time stop expecting men to just keeps upon giving their everything for women without getting anything in return. That's how a perfect balance will come in society for genders.
Well yes murtasim Khan is like that.
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