ABHI - Wonderful lover but failed husband - Page 2

Originally posted by: firewings_diya

I may talk little different here. I feel he is not failed husband or lover but he is definitely has anger issues. His decisions taken during is anger state made him a bad human being and bad husband. There is a saying that when you love som one you tend to be more angry when they make any mistake.

Sometimes i feel the decisions and assumption he make depends on ppl surrouding him especially manjari. Like neil death i am sure manjari must have done that. Even arohi saving abhi from fire also came from manjari. Most of his decisions are controlled by manjari.

I think we need to see the real problem ..its not his anger....I also had anger issues for a long time , infct my family were doubtful if my marriage would be a success ..initially I had a lot of issues with husband and in laws , for 3-4 yrs but I didn't divorce my husband in anger.. people don't take such extreme steps in anger alone....how much anger abhinanyu had that he threw divorce papers on her face ? N what's the limit to his anger?

That's the whole point..true love heals ..in anger , no matter how much angry , you never do this to someone you love....n specially to someone like akshu who is so loving , giving and caring..akshu won't even hurt a fly ......abhimanyu may have had anger issues before marriage and after marriage with manjari , did he ever disown her ? He always said I will leave the house and take manjari with me.

@bold. Lets not shift the entire blame to manjari . Abhimanyu is an adult with a thinking brain...it's his own doing, no matter how much manjari Influenced him..

Loving someone doesn't mean to stay with them in their happy times. It means staying with eachother in their difficult times too. AbhiM happily cared Akshara only when she behaves as he likes. If she's blamed, he doesn't even give her a chance of being heard. Atleast let her speak her version and then he can decide.

For example, look at Neil's adoption secret. It's not even fault of Akshara. It came out due to Aarohi's drama and Manjari blamed Akshara. He should actually be angry on Manjari for hiding such truth, but we saw the way he fell in the manipulation trap of Manjari. Same with Neil's case.

As in the above post, Krinya said that we can't wholly blame Manjari for his mrg failure. That's his trust issues which failed him. In Khera's case too he believed that person but not Akshara.

True love doesn't fail or crack in front of any manipulations. He easily gets manipulated and allows his mother to take decisions regarding his marital life too.

Originally posted by: Krinya

I think we need to see the real problem ..its not his anger....I also had anger issues for a long time , infct my family were doubtful if my marriage would be a success ..initially I had a lot of issues with husband and in laws , for 3-4 yrs but I didn't divorce my husband in anger.. people don't take such extreme steps in anger alone....how much anger abhinanyu had that he threw divorce papers on her face ? N what's the limit to his anger?

That's the whole point..true love heals ..in anger , no matter how much angry , you never do this to someone you love....n specially to someone like akshu who is so loving , giving and caring..akshu won't even hurt a fly ......abhimanyu may have had anger issues before marriage and after marriage with manjari , did he ever disown her ? He always said I will leave the house and take manjari with me.

@bold. Lets not shift the entire blame to manjari . Abhimanyu is an adult with a thinking brain...it's his own doing, no matter how much manjari Influenced him..

I will not blame manjari completely here but abhi has anger issues we have seen him taking many decisions in haste like wedding with arohi. The problem is no body stopped him doing that all the way from childhood. I am not saying abhi is less guilty here. But i really liked abhi who used to stand for right. But his character has took a uturn and above are my assumptions that they may justify it as abhis anger issue or manjari's influence and his anger issues are glorified more and more now and he is shown as a puppet in the hands of manjari and also he is being shown as some person with anxiety who takes medication to calm himself down which is definitely not abhi as abhi did not took those tablets even after seeing his mom like that.

I see total shift in his character which i dont like to be honest. I started watching the show for abhi and i don't see that abhi anymore. I kind of miss that abhi.

So many discussions are going on about Abhimanyu but no one is caring about the fact that a relationship is A TWO WAY STREET..a failed husband?? A failed lover?? Well a love relationship or marriage isn't about just one person..akshara and Abhimanyu BOTH were responsible for their love, relationship and marriage..

And we cannot declare Abhimanyu as a failed husband or a failed lover solely based on HIS actions..we need to see the other side too- Akshara’s side..to pass a FAIR judgement..

Abhimanyu loved akshara at first sight..he was introduced as a no nonsense, straightforward and a go getter..Abhimanyu didn't beat around the bush and boldly declared each and every time that he LOVES AKSHARA ONLY..but akshara was too guilt ridden and obsessed with Arohi..so she obviously chose arohi over Abhimanyu not once but multiple times and rejected Abhimanyu on his face..

Abhimanyu took it all and still never stopped loving her..after marriage he expected akshara to stay away from Birla family and focus on THEIR relationship..he made it clear to akshara that he only cares about his mother and nobody else matter to him in Birlas..was it that hard for akshara to understand him?? How much more clear cut and straightforward can Abhimanyu be?? Lets accept it..its akshara who was always obsessed with family and kept on interfering in other people's life because of her "good intentions".. it's akshara who was unable to properly communicate to Abhimanyu about her true feelings..

Whenever Abhi asked for a promise..akshara AGREED but then broke it..why not refuse him on face and make him understand her own POV?? Akshara always had communication issues..even in Kunal khera's matter.. akshara solely took a decision to leave Abhimanyu for a year and didn't contact him At all in that 1 year and Abhimanyu kept crying and sulking in darkness but then when she came back she had delusions that Abhimanyu will and he SHOULD understand her sacrifice and good intentions..I'm sorry but it doesn't work like that..

In pregnancy matter also Abhimanyu took promise only for akshara's safety..he didn't ask any promise for HIMSELF or his family or his mother.. it was only for Akshara’s and babies safety..but akshara couldn't keep this as well..running in jungle mindlessly to search for a kid and then getting lost, doing stunts and then finally Neil's death fiasco..

Whatever Abhimanyu did after Neil's death is not justified and I don't support him for that..but akshara has had her share of blunders and disasters too in Abhira's relationship..

Akshara's wrong decisions, HER lack of communication skills and HER dumbness in dealing with crisis or critical situations combined with Abhimanyu's anger issues and impulsivity made a disastrous combo and killed Abhira's relationship.. abhimanyu and akshara can be good lovers or husband wife ONLY if the other party allows it or reciprocates it...

Your partner can bring out the worst in you and can also bring out the best in you..IF you are an inherently good person with a pure heart..and Abhimanyu and akshara both fit in this..BOTH of them are flawed yet good hearted..they just needed to be compatible with each other and balance things a little bit but they failed

So stop blaming and burdening Abhimanyu with SOLE responsibility of being a good lover or a good husband when the other side- Akshara.. is EQUALLY flawed and EQUALLY responsible for messing up the relationship .peace ✌

If possible please make another topic whether Akshara failed or achieved success in honouring her relationships.

Love is an emotion right ? it is kind an expression ultimately it boils to proper communication based on trust.

I see Abhi's failure as a son first . His first failed relationship.

As usual we are left to the guess work as to what went wrong between HB and MJ.. Intially the foreshadowing of physical abuse loomed large in the Birla household. It was restricted only to Harsh's immediate family. Mahima and Anand only took advantage of the fragile glass rods that bound Abhi with his parents and brother.

After the divorce we got to see the other side of Manjiri.

It is very clear that MJ held Abhimanyu captive with her emotional blackmail. She used her son to get even with Harshji.

I guess there was no confusion from Manjiri's side when she spoke about a doctor bahu, she did want a Maa jaisi Bahu, Aarohi was always the first choice but Mata twisted everything around.

Abhimanyu agreeing to get married with Aarohi for the sake of his mother was proof enough or an eye opener to everyone. It was one of Abhi's core traits.

Therefore when your mother controls you nothing else matters. The day she blamed Akshara for Neil's death, Abhimanyu accuses his wife for taking 9 lives and signs the divorce deed..

The day Abhimanyu comes out from his mother's shadow, we can introspect his actual relationship with others including his Akshara.

Like Naitik, If Abhi had walked out with Ak and started to live separately then they could not have re-paired Arohi with Abhi in their quest for ratings. To relaunch AbRohi they needed to separate AbhiRa.

Originally posted by: Nandini_goyal

Someone had mentioned how Naitik stood by Akshara OG and had left the house with her when she was wrongly blamed for someone's death in the house.
Why couldnt they show Abhimanyu doing the same ?

Originally posted by: IAMHope

They needed to do AbRohi cringe episodes to stay afloat

Agree with you.

Loving someone doesn't mean only should be with them for happy moments.

should be part of happiness and sorrow, good and bad. Even when they did mistakes try to correct them.

That day honestly, Akshu tried so hard to calm him down. she try to hold him and calm him but he didn't give a damn.

How angry you are, how come you asked for a divorce? that's not a small thing. he did sign and threw it in her face. he didn't even ask her opinion or anything.

She just had a miscarriage, not as a doctor at least as a human should care for that.

Still, he doesn't regret that. Does only Sirat maa vali dialogue only remember? that's not new for Ak. Ar always uses that to manipulate her.

But that day Ab climbed a lot more steps in insulting her love and herself.

Originally posted by: ayushisingh29

So many discussions are going on about Abhimanyu but no one is caring about the fact that a relationship is A TWO WAY STREET..a failed husband?? A failed lover?? Well a love relationship or marriage isn't about just one person..akshara and Abhimanyu BOTH were responsible for their love, relationship and marriage..

And we cannot declare Abhimanyu as a failed husband or a failed lover solely based on HIS actions..we need to see the other side too- Akshara’s side..to pass a FAIR judgement..

So stop blaming and burdening Abhimanyu with SOLE responsibility of being a good lover or a good husband when the other side- Akshara.. is EQUALLY flawed and EQUALLY responsible for messing up the relationship .peace ✌

Correctly stated..relationship is always a two way street..that's why abhinav and akshu worked out for 6 years. Without intimacy and without love.

If you noticed closely , in the 3 paragraphs it's about how akshu failed to live up to abhimanyus expectations, Which were all unrealistic and impractical . Everything is about abhimanyu..how akshu can't keep promises how akshu should live the way he likes how akshu can't be reckless how akshu can't make any mistake. Why akshu can't be selfish why can't she take care of herself why can't she do what abhimanyu says..his biggest issue with her.

When they got married he asked her to stay away from his family...well in a family it's impossible to keep distance like this..plus akshu was a newly wedded bride , she can't possibly understand their dynamics in a day week or month. If he was this touchy about it he should have made sure to maintain a distance himself , like move out with akshu and mummy .

In khera kaand , fine akshu left without informing, it was a part of her deal. But did abhimanyu try to locate her or look for a reason or did he assume akshu just left him ? Again..akshu didnt do what he wanted her to do.. aksju should be with him even if that means he lost his hand ..the core of his being..his profession..his logic is totally senseless.

In Neil kaand and babies kaand yes he made her promise to not step out but if it was a medical emergency she had to step out...she isnt cattle who will stand at once place when asked to.... whatever happened later , he wasn't a witness to it so he shouldn't have judged her so quickly and so harshly based on what others said ...he assumed akshu is a panauti to him and his family.

Abhinav loved her (not when he met akshu , he fell in love later ) , yet didn't expect anything from her in return of what he did for them.

abhimanyu married akshu because he thot akshu will be his source of happiness..For that , he also should have become her source of happiness..what did akshu gain in all of this ? Not even a moment of peace in the family..it works both ways Definitely.

Originally posted by: Krinya

He was never a good lover either..that time I didn't realize but now everything falls in place..

If he truly loved her , he would understand her , give her space and respected her wish rather than pestering her to say yes , and instead said yes to marry her sister....he could have taken time , explain his psycho mata to delay the marriage decision, but for him, only what she wants is important. I'd like to ask what's his own personality ? What is Dr Birla?

As long as akshu kept mummy happy she was accepted in Birla family. I always said he would choose his mom over akshu ..unhealthy obsession with just one person spills onto all other relationships.

Everyone says he stood for akshu in front of his family post marriage , he advocated her career etc etc..who was he fighting with? His papa , who he always hated so he fought some more , big deal...mahima Anand parth shefali, who cares what they want..but when mummy blamed akshu for disclosing Neil's identity , he didn't listen to akshu. If mummy blamed kairav for anishas death , this divorce kaand would have happened then and there .

I can't deny at all..accept all this on abhi..it's not about lovable , deep love blue blue blah blah..it's about have u stood with your wife in any sensible manner ? Now who hell he s or his mother to ask reason on akshu arrival to udaipur..

He ll definitely going to leave arohi and roohi in swing..it's laughable on his promise