Abhinav's unrealism - Page 3

Okay my rant about Abhimanyu being a hotter, sanskari Kabir Singh aside, my issue with Navra not being the endgame is this : why cannot itv show women move on from their toxic husbands?

Yes, obviously women can and do choose the less than perfect man sometimes. But itv is pathological.

I can count the number of shows with decent potrayal of second chances of women on my fingers :

Kumkum

Jyoti

Na Bole Tum

BV

Saubhagyavati Bhava

Ajeeb Dastaan Hai Yeh

Adya though even that turned toxic af towards the end.

Aditi's last show about EMA

Arylie (because the previous ML had a fall-out/left)

Anupamaa (Don't get me started on how Anu was okay with Vanraj's mental abuse but left only when she discovered the EMA. And how that show still revolves around her abusers.)

Out of all these, only two of them left because their husbands were abusive and no EMA or widowhood was involved. Though, Tam is another hell altogether.

Now coming back to Abhira, Jay brings out the best in Pranali as an actor. Nevertheless why does Akashara still love Abhimanyu? He almost stalked and gaslighted her till she 'acknowledged' her 'feelings' for him. As if a woman's "no" has no meaning, and men always know and are entitled to some 'deeper, hidden feelings' of women. I don't know the reason of the last separation so won't comment on that but they don't trust each other.

Now, miscarriages can turn couples bitter and detached. And people can and do blame each other in some cases, but this arsehole knew this girl's biggest weakness and accused this orphan of killing her stepmom. When this woman had just lost her babies + BIL. Then, he refuses to even talk to her when he knows that she's ill and alone somewhere.

So what's the big deal if she moves on from this guy whether in a platonic or romantic relationship with another much better guy?

Abhira fans were slùtshaming Akshara for having one bed in their bedroom. What is the problem if she sleeps with Abhinav? She's divorced. She is not answerable to her ex-husband. Abhinav is a good person. He was there for her when she was pregnant, alone, and getting slùtshamed in a strange city. They live together; they have a family together. What would realistically stop her from falling in love with him? Abhira fandom is generally very young and the sort of relationship ideals this show promotes are very very toxic.

Now, Shahi would show Akshara going back to Abhi, destabilising her son's life and separating him from his father which , for all the records, is Abhinav. Abhinav would either just be okay with giving up his family or turn psycho. Because, again, he's not the 'blood-father' and 'one-true-love.'

Arohi is evil just because she doesn't have the 'right blood.' And she'd turn back to a vamp. (I never like how ITV shows step/half-sisters as evil. The woman hating never stops.)

I mean for once Shahi could show something decent and make Abhira move on realistically in their lives while working out a co-parenting system

I'm the same way. The USP of YHM was Ishita and Ruhi; their bond was tear-jerking. It had everything, innocence, love, trust, and playfulness. The love between a foster parent and a child is so beautiful to watch and Abhinav is doing it justice

In all respects ITV and by extension Shahi works on to perpetuate the societal bias against women.

The girl who is less educated, sings/dances and cooks well, doesn't answer back, and accepts the controlling nature of her entitled husband is a good girl. A bahut material and they are not supposed to think of anyone except their husband regardless of the marriage existing and he has all the rights to turn a Casanova during seperation 🙂

And educated, independent girl who takes a stand of herself and doesn't take BS is written in to commit crimes so that audience relating to her won't defend or side with her.

All we need to do in move on from ITV shows, but then again something good comes along in every 10 years and pulls me back to this toxic cycle

Originally posted by: Deltablues

Okay my rant about Abhimanyu being a hotter, sanskari Kabir Singh aside, my issue with Navra not being the endgame is this : why cannot itv show women move on from their toxic husbands?

Yes, obviously women can and do choose the less than perfect man sometimes. But itv is pathological.

I can count the number of shows with decent potrayal of second chances of women on my fingers :

Kumkum

Jyoti

Na Bole Tum

BV

Saubhagyavati Bhava

Ajeeb Dastaan Hai Yeh

Adya though even that turned toxic af towards the end.

Aditi's last show about EMA

Arylie (because the previous ML had a fall-out/left)

Anupamaa (Don't get me started on how Anu was okay with Vanraj's mental abuse but left only when she discovered the EMA. And how that show still revolves around her abusers.)

Out of all these, only two of them left because their husbands were abusive and no EMA or widowhood was involved. Though, Tam is another hell altogether.

Now coming back to Abhira, Jay brings out the best in Pranali as an actor. Nevertheless why does Akashara still love Abhimanyu? He almost stalked and gaslighted her till she 'acknowledged' her 'feelings' for him. As if a woman's "no" has no meaning, and men always know and are entitled to some 'deeper, hidden feelings' of women. I don't know the reason of the last separation so won't comment on that but they don't trust each other.

Now, miscarriages can turn couples bitter and detached. And people can and do blame each other in some cases, but this arsehole knew this girl's biggest weakness and accused this orphan of killing her stepmom. When this woman had just lost her babies + BIL. Then, he refuses to even talk to her when he knows that she's ill and alone somewhere.

So what's the big deal if she moves on from this guy whether in a platonic or romantic relationship with another much better guy?

Abhira fans were slùtshaming Akshara for having one bed in their bedroom. What is the problem if she sleeps with Abhinav? She's divorced. She is not answerable to her ex-husband. Abhinav is a good person. He was there for her when she was pregnant, alone, and getting slùtshamed in a strange city. They live together; they have a family together. What would realistically stop her from falling in love with him? Abhira fandom is generally very young and the sort of relationship ideals this show promotes are very very toxic.

Now, Shahi would show Akshara going back to Abhi, destabilising her son's life and separating him from his father which , for all the records, is Abhinav. Abhinav would either just be okay with giving up his family or turn psycho. Because, again, he's not the 'blood-father' and 'one-true-love.'

Arohi is evil just because she doesn't have the 'right blood.' And she'd turn back to a vamp. (I never like how ITV shows step/half-sisters as evil. The woman hating never stops.)

I mean for once Shahi could show something decent and make Abhira move on realistically in their lives while working out a co-parenting system

Oh! you bet me to it.. I was planning on starting a new topic about the need of toxic ML and FL's need to be with them no matter.. Koi na... I'll tag you when I write the detailed one...

But here is my short version

First, I think for each and every person, the definition of love is different. And Ak and Abhi love definition matches. If I was in Ak's place, no matter what my feelings would have ended the moment he felt his pain was more than my pain. If Abhi lost his brother, Ak also lost a BIL, a friend who was her support from the beginning. If Abhi lost his babies.. the Akshu also lost them..

But more importantly, I would never have chosen that volatile kind of person to be together for rest of my life from beginning. I already have a father and grandather with that personality.. Their love is diffferent. When they love they can literally bring down stars on earth and they can also break your heart in to million pieces without any hesitation when they are angry.

My mom and I call them 'Kshipra-kobi and kshipra prasadi' based on Lord Shiva, which means a person is quick to anger and easy to please.

So my definition of love became.. the love which is middle.. nothing extreme but remains some during the time of crisis and celebration.

But obviously Akshu is not me. She must be attracted toward the extreme type of love.

So, when my definition of love matches with the Abinav's version.... Akshu just cannot forget her core definition of love, Abhimanyu's version.

Second, because each type creates their own definition, they also choose the type of partner with their version. A girl like ak would only fall for a guy like Abhi, who is slightly more forceful... than a guy like Nav who is slightly more respectful. And why is it that way? I don't exactly know... basically it just boils down to their core personality.. I guess.

In BV, Anandi knew, she was unhappy in the relation from the moment Jagya started mistreating her during the college time. But without knowing the reason behind, she tried to mend her relationship. Her definition of love was simple. love with self respect and trust. When Jagya's affair was revealed, she was heartbroken. But she went through everything and even managed to get over Jagya herself. That was even before Shiv's arrival.

I think I am getting this right.. Saubhagyavati.. is a series which had a weird husband who locks the wife and was extremely possessive.. I didn't see the series much.. but again the wife did not like that.. hence could leave them.

In Silsila, Aditi's character was really good and the moment affair was revealed she lost most of the love towards the husband. Then she happily moved on with that Kinshuk character. Point to be noted that, if the husband was a jerk, then also she would have divorced him even if he did not have an affair. For her, we knew, Love and self-respect went hand in hand..

In Anupama, Anupama's definition of love majorly did not have self-respect. It was mostly self sacrifice. If Vanraj never had an affair, I am sure, she would have been stuck in that toxic marriage till her death.

And Now, coming to Ak, she was happy in that turbulent relationship. She was happy with Abhi. Her definition of love included the extreme love and hate. Even now, she loves Abhi, She is just extremely hurt by his actions but is ready to make him her life partner again.

I am not claiming anything to be good or bad.. everyone is entitled have their different definitions and also different reasons behind those definitions.

Third, Akshu made herself the way that she is compatible with a guy like Abhimanyu. Even before Abhra meet each other. Ak never expresses herself properly. Goenkas give her space to be her own.. but it was Abhi's forcefulness that finally worked.. she express only when she is forced. I am sure many of us who feel Ak is not opening her mouth have no trouble communicate our thought most of the time. So, we don't need Abhi's forceful love to help us reveal our thoughts. But we have to see that Ak is not that. Only Abhi's gaslighting worked. No amount of Goenka's trust that 'she will say herself' worked.

This is the same with Nav, His basic humanity and respectful behavior does not help Ak at all. With that amount of freedom, she then takes it on herself to build an even thicker wall around her. For her Love is not mostly about openness.. it is about pleasing. Only Abhi can stop herself from building walls around her.. as he breaks every wall with his force (read love). With Nav and Goenkas wait in vain for Akshara to break the wall herself.

And Fourth, and most important factor HC fan base. Admitting even if Jay soni's character becomes permanent his fan base is not as strong as HC fan base. And Losing HC means loosing a quite a few number of fans. And to be fair, HC can act the anguished, angry young man perfectly. And everyine wants to milk it. Hence Abhira will always be the end game. In the shows, I have mentioned before (except Anupama) the FL's were really strong characters in a bad situation. Even Anupama, Rupali acted really good in the initial days of the EMA reveal, hence attracting many people like me after the EMA reveal. I don't think Akshara have that kind of fan base.

Originally posted by: umawanderer

Oh! you bet me to it.. I was planning on starting a new topic about the need of toxic ML and FL's need to be with them no matter.. Koi na... I'll tag you when I write the detailed one...

But here is my short version

First, I think for each and every person, the definition of love is different. And Ak and Abhi love definition matches. If I was in Ak's place, no matter what my feelings would have ended the moment he felt his pain was more than my pain. If Abhi lost his brother, Ak also lost a BIL, a friend who was her support from the beginning. If Abhi lost his babies.. the Akshu also lost them..

But more importantly, I would never have chosen that volatile kind of person to be together for rest of my life from beginning. I already have a father and grandather with that personality.. Their love is diffferent. When they love they can literally bring down stars on earth and they can also break your heart in to million pieces without any hesitation when they are angry.

My mom and I call them 'Kshipra-kobi and kshipra prasadi' based on Lord Shiva, which means a person is quick to anger and easy to please.

So my definition of love became.. the love which is middle.. nothing extreme but remains some during the time of crisis and celebration.

But obviously Akshu is not me. She must be attracted toward the extreme type of love.

So, when my definition of love matches with the Abinav's version.... Akshu just cannot forget her core definition of love, Abhimanyu's version.

Second, because each type creates their own definition, they also choose the type of partner with their version. A girl like ak would only fall for a guy like Abhi, who is slightly more forceful... than a guy like Nav who is slightly more respectful. And why is it that way? I don't exactly know... basically it just boils down to their core personality.. I guess.

In BV, Anandi knew, she was unhappy in the relation from the moment Jagya started mistreating her during the college time. But without knowing the reason behind, she tried to mend her relationship. Her definition of love was simple. love with self respect and trust. When Jagya's affair was revealed, she was heartbroken. But she went through everything and even managed to get over Jagya herself. That was even before Shiv's arrival.

I think I am getting this right.. Saubhagyavati.. is a series which had a weird husband who locks the wife and was extremely possessive.. I didn't see the series much.. but again the wife did not like that.. hence could leave them.

In Silsila, Aditi's character was really good and the moment affair was revealed she lost most of the love towards the husband. Then she happily moved on with that Kinshuk character. Point to be noted that, if the husband was a jerk, then also she would have divorced him even if he did not have an affair. For her, we knew, Love and self-respect went hand in hand..

In Anupama, Anupama's definition of love majorly did not have self-respect. It was mostly self sacrifice. If Vanraj never had an affair, I am sure, she would have been stuck in that toxic marriage till her death.

And Now, coming to Ak, she was happy in that turbulent relationship. She was happy with Abhi. Her definition of love included the extreme love and hate. Even now, she loves Abhi, She is just extremely hurt by his actions but is ready to make him her life partner again.

I am not claiming anything to be good or bad.. everyone is entitled have their different definitions and also different reasons behind those definitions.

Third, Akshu made herself the way that she is compatible with a guy like Abhimanyu. Even before Abhra meet each other. Ak never expresses herself properly. Goenkas give her space to be her own.. but it was Abhi's forcefulness that finally worked.. she express only when she is forced. I am sure many of us who feel Ak is not opening her mouth have no trouble communicate our thought most of the time. So, we don't need Abhi's forceful love to help us reveal our thoughts. But we have to see that Ak is not that. Only Abhi's gaslighting worked. No amount of Goenka's trust that 'she will say herself' worked.

This is the same with Nav, His basic humanity and respectful behavior does not help Ak at all. With that amount of freedom, she then takes it on herself to build an even thicker wall around her. For her Love is not mostly about openness.. it is about pleasing. Only Abhi can stop herself from building walls around her.. as he breaks every wall with his force (read love). With Nav and Goenkas wait in vain for Akshara to break the wall herself.

And Fourth, and most important factor HC fan base. Admitting even if Jay soni's character becomes permanent his fan base is not as strong as HC fan base. And Losing HC means loosing a quite a few number of fans. And to be fair, HC can act the anguished, angry young man perfectly. And everyine wants to milk it. Hence Abhira will always be the end game. In the shows, I have mentioned before (except Anupama) the FL's were really strong characters in a bad situation. Even Anupama, Rupali acted really good in the initial days of the EMA reveal, hence attracting many people like me after the EMA reveal. I don't think Akshara have that kind of fan base.

I haven't watched the show, like ever. When I tried to watch it for HC, the stalking really creeped me out. I do realise that people have different definitions of love, and different attachment styles, but really itv women have no boundaries that are sancrosanct to them. They literally have no dealbreakers. Even if someone needs a more assertive partner because they are passive, that can still be achieved without being Kabir Singh and normalising borderline criminal behaviour. If at 30, a person cannot differentiate between all-consuming love and abuse then they need a psychiatrist more than anything. Most of the issues that you enlist in Akshara require a therapist and not a 'gaslighting partner.' At no point of time gaslighting (i.e. mental abuse) helps. Shahi saw the success of Arjun Reddy and Kabir Singh and thought what if I made a Barjatiya version of it for my dead horse of a serial. Tbh, these are not real people, there is no reason why better characters cannot be written.

In KZK 2, Anurag quite literally slapped Prerna and AnuPre still were the endgame despite Prerish being more popular. KSG's Bajaj was a good example of a dark antihero without the creepiness.

Aryan again fit into that "alpha-male" stereotype without being abusive though he could do something infuriating every once in a while.

I do agree that it boils down to Harshad having a bigger fanbase than Jay.

Originally posted by: Agni_Jytsona

Same. I started watching after Jay s entry and will leave after he exists

This season is by far the worst season of yrkkh. I mean Naitik-Akshara set the bar too high. There was a considerable drop from S1 to S2 in terms of writing. But S3 takes the cake in being the worst of the lot.

The characters are half-baked. Dialogues are cringe - Laute do mujhe bole chudiya and all that shit ... I mean kya sich ke likha that woh 😔

I love Harshad from his previous show. Abhimanyu is probably the most awful character he has ever played. Cringey and toxic..... I completely agree with what Kairav said today - Abhimanyu does not deserve anybody s husband. He is just that bad

Akshara is not a great character either. But still, for her own sanity and self-respect, it would be better if she does not end up with Abhimanyu. But she will definitely go back to him. This is itv. Ml will do all sorts of shit and then provide half-baked apologies .....fl will run back to his arms

In this entire fiasco, Abhinav is the most sensible, loving, caring, best person..... The best-written character of s3. I hope the writers will not wash down the drain all the work they did on this character. He gets a better send-off. That s all I ask for

Abhinav-Abir is THE BEST BOND of s3. I am a sucker for these foster parent-child dynamics - Mishti-Ishaan from silsila, Ishi maa - Ruhi, and Salim-Shaira-Ayaan from pow.

Abhinav-Abhir is just another great addition to this list.

I hope they don't downplay Abhinav s place in Abir s life to glorify the ml

@bold: I cannot say anything concrete as I have not watched S1 and S2 (heck.. even S3 properly)

But I have a theory based on my interaction with fans and reading in Wikipedia

The basic premise in S1 was the relationship between the lead pair after an arranged marriage in an orthodox family. The serial dealt with the problems a young couple faced in their joint family from time to time while also discovering themselves in the process. The ML's family was the main joint family from 2009 to 2016 (8 years).

The next gen also dealt with a young couple in a big joint family but here the couple were already in love. Their love story turned marriage was a novelty at that time in rista universe. Hence the couple got much more importance.. their love was much more important. The family problems became somewhat darker and more complicated thus having effect on the couple's love life. The main family was now a new family (Goenkas) and they should have different problems than Singhanias(?) And Because the previous gen family was there with the audience for the longer time.. people were not going to introduce new complicated problems that side. So Goenka's had to be the dysfunctional family that the FL had to cure(?).

But Now in S3 the fopcus is much more on the love story of the main leads.. even more than in the previous generation. But being in Rishta universe.. We get another family.. This time Toxic.. So when a toxic family meets a dysfunctional family , then sparks fly for all the wrong reasons.

So this is the flow chart

Maheswaris(traditional) ---> Sighanias(Orthodox) ---> Goenkas(Dysfunctional) ---> Birlas(Toxic)

So As long as the family worsens the couples get the worst end of the deal

Originally posted by: umawanderer

@bold: I cannot say anything concrete as I have not watched S1 and S2 (heck.. even S3 properly)

But I have a theory based on my interaction with fans and reading in Wikipedia

The basic premise in S1 was the relationship between the lead pair after an arranged marriage in an orthodox family. The serial dealt with the problems a young couple faced in their joint family from time to time while also discovering themselves in the process. The ML's family was the main joint family from 2009 to 2016 (8 years).

The next gen also dealt with a young couple in a big joint family but here the couple were already in love. Their love story turned marriage was a novelty at that time in rista universe. Hence the couple got much more importance.. their love was much more important. The family problems became somewhat darker and more complicated thus having effect on the couple's love life. The main family was now a new family (Goenkas) and they should have different problems than Singhanias(?) And Because the previous gen family was there with the audience for the longer time.. people were not going to introduce new complicated problems that side. So Goenka's had to be the dysfunctional family that the FL had to cure(?).

But Now in S3 the fopcus is much more on the love story of the main leads.. even more than in the previous generation. But being in Rishta universe.. We get another family.. This time Toxic.. So when a toxic family meets a dysfunctional family , then sparks fly for all the wrong reasons.

So this is the flow chart

Maheswaris(traditional) ---> Sighanias(Orthodox) ---> Goenkas(Dysfunctional) ---> Birlas(Toxic)

So As long as the family worsens the couples get the worst end of the deal

It is also the way they wrote their Male and Female Leads

When Akshara was blamed for Dada ji s death and thrown out of the house, Naitik choose to follow her. He stood by his wife.

On the contrary, Karthik and Abhimanyu both blamed their wives for Shubham/Neel s death

Naitik-Akshara s character had an arcs. They actually grew as characters over the course of the show. This was lacking ins s2 and now in s3

Though Karthik and Naira still had their moments. Abhi-Akshu has none. They just seem like two dumb people who should have never married.

Originally posted by: Agni_Jytsona

It is also the way they wrote their Male and Female Leads

When Akshara was blamed for Dada ji s death and thrown out of the house, Naitik choose to follow her. He stood by his wife.

On the contrary, Karthik and Abhimanyu both blamed their wives for Shubham/Neel s death

Naitik-Akshara s character had arcs. They actually grew as characters over the course of the show. This was lacking ins s2 and now in s3

Though Karthik and Naira still had their moments. Abhi-Akshu has none. They just seem like two dumb people who should have never married.

Yes exactly. itv writes whatever nonsense and then tries to justify it as 'core values', people change with experience, but itv pays no heed to character and writes whatever. Realism is overrated in fiction but my god EK has ruined the medium so much that people get married-divorced-married x 10 with the SAME person in one lifetime. Main bore hoke hi kisi aur se shaadi kar loon.

Shahi has always made trash shows but if you see, the entire cast had meaningful character arcs in Hina's season.