Akshara was stillness in a world of chaos.
The Birla's were scrambling to keep their house afloat with Manjari in the hospital, Neil's passing, and the responsibility of Aarohi. Harsh longed to hear his son call him 'Papa,' but when he finally heard it, his heart broke, for he knew it wasn't acceptance that called out to him but sheer pain. Harsh held his eldest son tight as Abhimanyu fell to rock bottom. Without Akshara and Neil at his side, Abhimanyu was inconsolable.
Collateral damage, Kairav thought, as he fed one sister while praying for the other's wellbeing; one accident and both their lives fell apart. One was a widow, the other a divorcee, and stuck in the middle were the Goenka's. Manish and Akhilesh used all their contacts to locate Akshara. "ACP Randhawa, I don't care which minister wants your team as his bodyguards. I need my granddaughter back! Get each station in the state looking for her," Manish commanded. Swarna and Suhasini tried Akshara's phone but to no avail. After the voice note, Akshara fell off the map.
"Bhua, Mamu, let me leave. Ye sehar mujhe raas nahi aya," her voice sluggish and monotone as she tried to venture outside the house again. This was their routine for four days now. Akshara would hide in the guest bedroom, shades down, lights off, just clouded in darkness. When Keerti or Jhanvi brought a spoonful of soup close to her mouth, she'd turn away or push the spoon aside. When the clock's ticking would grow unbearable, she'd come downstairs and try to escape from the city again. They tried to empathize with her, fearing she'd spiral into another attack. Naksh's stern voice would cut through his family's pleas. "Humne tumhari harr baat maani hai, Akshu. Tumne kaha tha ki kisi ko nahi pata hona chahiye ke tum yahan ho. Wahan Papa and Ma (Manish and Swarna) tumhe dhoonde ke liya pagal ho rahe hai, phir bhi humne tumhari baat ki izzat rakhi." Akshara couldn't face him. "Ab tumhari baari." And she'd retreat to her room.
Despite the reassurance Akshara gave in her voice note, Jhanvi was wary of leaving her alone. She'd spend the night on the couch in the room, and neither fell asleep. Akshara lay on her side and gazed into the darkness, wishing for the speaker. Desiring to hear Neil's voice again. Imagining all their plans for the babies coming to fruition. 'Bhabhi, hum yeh karenge, hum woh karenge!' His voice echoed in her ears.
Jhanvi waited for Akshara to twitch or turn. 'Do something,' Jhanvi wanted to bellow, frustrated with her sister-cum-statue.
Sometimes, Jhanvi would sit by Akshara's side, caressing her hair until Akshara conceded and dozed off. When Keerti checked on the girls, she found Jhanvi's head resting on the same pillow as Akshara and her body dripped onto the bed. Is this what their lives would look like if Naira were here, Keerti pondered as she saw the two together.
"Abhi," Akshara's eyes jerked open, pushing Jhanvi off the bed in her frenzied state.
Akshara chanted his name like a prayer, trying to steady her breathing.
"Ankhein kholte hi sabse pehle usse pukaarti ho aur kehti ho ki rishta nahi rakhna?" Jhanvi questioned.
"You won't understand, Di."
The unforgiving cold water trickled down her back, as Jhanvi lathered her hair with conditioner. It had been a week into Akshara's stay with the Singhania's when Jhanvi convinced Akshara to shower. Jhanvi's coherant stories felt like white noise as Akshara fixated on the bathroom tiles.
"Akshu, utto" Jhanvi's voice broke Akshara out of her musings.
"Huh?"
"Pani khattam ho gaya," Akshara took Jhanvi's forwarded handed and lifted herself off the tub. She put her entire balance on the front foot and the back slipped.
Thud!
Akshara's head hit the wall.
"Akshara!" Jhanvi strengthened her grip on Akshara's hand and pulled her back. Akshara latched onto her sister, huffing in fear. "I got you," Jhanvi soothed her.
Akshara claimed she was fine, but it was clear she had double vision. Her movements slowed as she thought twice before stepping forward and clenched the railing as if she didn't believe the step forward was real.
"Jhanvi, Akshara go hospital leke jao," Keerti ordered. They were making strides with Akshara. Yesterday, they got Akshara to eat with them at the dining table. She took a few nibbles and sipped some water, but it was a win nonetheless. "Apni health ko ignore maat karo."
"Bhua, main-" Akshara reached across the table to hold Keerti's hand but failed to spot the glass of water. The glass fell off the table and smashed into pieces. Akshara's hands instinctively covered her ears and squeezed her eyes shut.
'Tumne sab kuch barbaard kar diya, Akshara!' Abhi screamed that day, thrashing the furniture in their room. 'Sab kuch! Sirat, Neil, mere bacche!'
"Maine kuch nahi kiya! Maine kisi ko nahi mara" Akshara trembled. Since that day, every loud sound transported her back to her bedroom at the Birla's.
"Agar apne liya nahi toh humare liya ek baar Doctor se mil lao", Badi (Devyani) Dadi requested.
"It's hard to see you like this," Naksh added, kneeling before his niece when she stopped shaking.
"Hospital ke saadi hui coffee ya Starbucks ka Frappucino?"
"Tum yahan kya kar rahe ho?" His tall frame shadowed her from the ceiling light. His hair, slicked back, and button-up made her ick. So professional, she'd ridicule before ruffling his hair and pulling his cheeks. He'd cringe in mock protest but let her bring him closer.
"Chaar din se phone nahi utta rahi thi, socha mein hi mil loon," his easy-going smile always put Jhanvi's nerves at ease.
He read the question in her eyes. "Keerti Aunty ne bataya. Ab ek chun lo, dono ko pakkad ke meri baahein thak gayi hai yaar." She took the coffee off his hands.
"Lagta hai gym jaane ki zaroorat hai tumhe," she teased. "Yuck," he chuckled at her gagging.
"Shut up, Farhaan," Jhanvi playfully shoved their shoulders together before trading their drinks. If her silences were a language, Farhaan was fluent. She leaned into his side, and he wrapped an arm around her waist.
Jhanvi soughed when she heard Akshara struggle against the nurses in the cabin.
"Ek baat puchoon?"
"Pucho."
"Tumhari aur Akshara ki banti nahi thi, na? Toh phir itna chinta kyun?"
"Behan hai meri."
"Behan toh woh Krish ki bhi hai, parr woh toh Akshara ka shaya ban ke toh nahi jee raha."
"woh-"
"Shut up, kon se bakwaas college se apne degree lee hai, mera babies marr gaya," Akshara raged.
"Main-" Jhanvi's eyes flickered between Farhaan and the cabin.
"Jao," he urged her. "Waise bhi, mujhe office bula raha hai." Jhanvi rushed to Akshara's aid and tore her from the nurse's restraints.
"Degree hai bhi yah nahi! Mere twins ab iss duniya mein nahi hai!"
"Ma'am, agar aapko mera yakeen nahi toh apne blood test dekh lo. Your HCG hormones skyrocketed." The doctor passed the sheets to Akshara.
Akshara gaped and tears welled up in her eyes as the doctor explained vanishing twin syndrome. She couldn't believe it! She hugged the paper close to her chest. "Mera baby."
"Thank you, Krishna Ji," Jhanvi prayed. The doctor and nurses left to give them some privacy.
"Akshu," Jhanvi handed her phone with Abhi's number dialled to Akshara. "He deserves to know," she appealed before leaving the room.
Shefali sprinted across the hospital to deliver Akshara's call to Abhimanyu. "Abhimanyu, baat karo usse," she panted. He grabbed the phone and lashed out.
"Jab humare beech mein kuch nahi bacha toh kyun phone kar rahi ho mujhe," even strained, his voice carries so much weight.
"Abhi, humare bacche"
"Maat lo unka naam, please," he pleaded. "Nahi seh sakta aur ghum aur dukh. Chod do mujhe aur mere parivaar ko apne haal pe."
"Meri baat toh suno!" she pressed him.
She couldn't make out the mumbles. She just knew people were calling out to him and someone was coding in the background. "I just want to forget you, forever." The line went off.
She dialled again but the ring didn't go through.
"Kya hua?" Jhanvi prompted when Akshara walked out of the cabin, the colour drained from her cheeks.
"He let me go."
"What?"
She bit her lips, trying to keep it together. "He let me go, forever."
Their car stopped in front of the Singhania house. Akshara spent the ride in silence, trying his number, again and again, waiting for the ring to go through. Nothing happened, but something changed inside of her. She took a deep breath and felt her belly. She wasn't showing yet, but she knew that her baby was still here, and that was enough.
"Ab kya, Akshu?"
"Matlab?"
"Itne dinnon se zindagi se rout se gayi thi tum, khud ka kayal rakhna bhool gayi thi. Ab ek aur zindagi tumhare andhar hai, usse bhi naraaz rahogi?"
"Nahi. Ab toh iss nanhe mehmaan ka swagat ki tayyari suhuri karni hogi," Akshara beamed at the prospect.
Looking forward to reading your feedback in the comments! Had a lot of thoughts while writing this but conveniently forgot them while posting so LOL
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