Marriage & Status

So, finally Ashwin and Deepti are all set to be married. And while this is such a happy occasion, the reality of marriages in India is not so straightforward anymore. Beyond the rituals, there is also the burden of social etiquettes and showing off one's status in the form of the amount/price of gifts, the lavish jewellery and lehengas, the need for multiple functions and hospitality concerns. Most of this usually comes on the girl's side. But with time, many families have adopted the % approach where the cost of each of the functions is determined to be borne by the side who has maximum guests. Again dahhej is illegal, but there are ways and means to indirectly extort money in most cases (not applicable to THIS show in particular, but just mentioning it). 

In the show, the Patels and Parikhs have so far been very careful about handling relationships and money matters. I found it interesting how even last week, Pushpa did point out that Deepti should have onus on her salary, and should not be spending it only on the Patels, while Deepti was also equally correct in stating that if she is a part of the Patel family now, there is no harm in taking up the financial reigns of the family as well. That is a consideration not many MILs have for their DILs or vice versa these days, the latter because of the fear of being taken advantage for the same. 

But costs aside, what do you think might be some major determinants that we might get to see here in the show, given that in this case it is interestingly the girl's side who is more well-off than the boy's? 

Please feel free to be general, I really want to know your honest opinions on this topic 👍🏼

P.S I am personally not against the institution of marriage or anything, but it being turned into something more to show off to others than for to celebrate the union of two souls and two families just annoys me. Isse accha court marriage hi karlo. 

Originally posted by: nautankitadka

So, finally Ashwin and Deepti are all set to be married. And while this is such a happy occasion, the reality of marriages in India is not so straightforward anymore. Beyond the rituals, there is also the burden of social etiquettes and showing off one's status in the form of the amount/price of gifts, the lavish jewellery and lehengas, the need for multiple functions and hospitality concerns. Most of this usually comes on the girl's side. But with time, many families have adopted the % approach where the cost of each of the functions is determined to be borne by the side who has maximum guests. Again dahhej is illegal, but there are ways and means to indirectly extort money in most cases (not applicable to THIS show in particular, but just mentioning it). 

In the show, the Patels and Parikhs have so far been very careful about handling relationships and money matters. I found it interesting how even last week, Pushpa did point out that Deepti should have onus on her salary, and should not be spending it only on the Patels, while Deepti was also equally correct in stating that if she is a part of the Patel family now, there is no harm in taking up the financial reigns of the family as well. That is a consideration not many MILs have for their DILs or vice versa these days, the latter because of the fear of being taken advantage for the same. 

But costs aside, what do you think might be some major determinants that we might get to see here in the show, given that in this case it is interestingly the girl's side who is more well-off than the boy's? 

Please feel free to be general, I really want to know your honest opinions on this topic 👍🏼

P.S I am personally not against the institution of marriage or anything, but it being turned into something more to show off to others than for to celebrate the union of two souls and two families just annoys me. Isse accha court marriage hi karlo. 

I guess Pushpa will try to consult Deepti before making the important decisions  in the house cause all soaps tend to show that it's the guy who makes all the decisions and I'm tired of that cliche , it's  about time we see something new in Indian television...

But costs aside, what do you think might be some major determinants that we might get to see here in the show, given that in this case it is interestingly the girl's side who is more well-off than the boy's? 

One of earlier episodes (when Ashwin went to Deepti's house to discuss some marriage things) they proposed having a simple wedding and gifts - Deepti promptly said she would not want those cheap gifts that are practically useless and Ash was visibly upset. Though Dee apologized, it was something that made their differences very stark. 

We may see some scenes where Dee casually spends on something branded, out of habit but Ash is like this was unnecessary and so on. 

Sasural Genda phool had a lot of such instances, handled pretty well.

I do see Dipti doing her best to a life in chawl setting, however there may be issues with the lack of privacy, and budget, and small shared space.

Originally posted by: GattuThakker

 I guess Pushpa will try to consult Deepti before making the important decisions  in the house cause all soaps tend to show that it's the guy who makes all the decisions and I'm tired of that cliche , it's  about time we see something new in Indian television...

That will be such a wonderful thing to witness. I do hope it happens this way 👍🏼

Originally posted by: DelusionsOfNeha

 One of earlier episodes (when Ashwin went to Deepti's house to discuss some marriage things) they proposed having a simple wedding and gifts - Deepti promptly said she would not want those cheap gifts that are practically useless and Ash was visibly upset. Though Dee apologised, it was something that made their differences very stark. We may see some scenes where Dee casually spends on something branded, out of habit but Ash is like this was unnecessary and so on. Sasural Genda phool had a lot of such instances, handled pretty well.

Very well put. This is definitely something that might be a point of initial dissent between both of them, since they have grown up with different expectations of their marriage and life, and in a way neither of them are completely wrong either. If Deepti thinks she can afford a better lifestyle with her own assets and become Chirag's partner, then that is her right. In the same way, if Ashwin wants to invest his money in his mother's business, he has the right to do so. The question is where will they draw the line on how they will be using money and also keeping their relationship away from financial insecurities. 

Thoughts from any other members on this?

Originally posted by: Tali_99

I do see Dipti doing her best to a life in chawl setting, however there may be issues with the lack of privacy, and budget, and small shared space.

So true, well listed, all of these issues are central given the difference in living standards. 

Hope they do find a middle ground and figure it out 👍🏼

Originally posted by: nautankitadka

Very well put. This is definitely something that might be a point of initial dissent between both of them, since they have grown up with different expectations of their marriage and life, and in a way neither of them are completely wrong either. If Deepti thinks she can afford a better lifestyle with her own assets and become Chirag's partner, then that is her right. In the same way, if Ashwin wants to invest his money in his mother's business, he has the right to do so. The question is where will they draw the line on how they will be using money and also keeping their relationship away from financial insecurities. 

Thoughts from any other members on this?

I would love to see if Deepti  becomes buisness partner of Chirag buI for one do not think that Deepti would waste her money on branded stuff...we are talking about a person who wanted to do a court marraige to avoid unnecessary cost...i guess  that Deepti is so focused on getting marraige and being with Ashwin that she's  ignoring  or stopping herself from thinking about the problems she'll  face after marriage like space issues , privacy issues etc...i qant these themes to be handled maturely in the show...

Originally posted by: GattuThakker

I would love to see if Deepti  becomes business partner of Chirag and I for one do not   think that Deepti would waste her money on branded stuff...we are talking about a person who wanted to do a court marraige to avoid unnecessary cost...i guess  that Deepti is so focused on getting marraige and being with Ashwin that she's  ignoring  or stopping herself from thinking about the problems she'll  face after marriage like space issues , privacy issues etc...i qant these themes to be handled maturely in the show...

Yes, a business partnership in the family which benefits everyone as Deepti stated. 

Affording a better lifestyle is not about 'wasting money on branded stuff' as you put it and/or not saving money. It just means having an outward outlook towards spending and expenditure.

I'll explain what I meant in more plain terms: If Ashwin gets extra money, the first thought he will have is to use it for Chirag or Rashi's education or for Pushpa's immediate groceries; vis-a-vis Deepti who will invest it in mutual funds and get higher returns. One will look for stability, one is focussed on growth. And how they come to a consensus on that will be an interesting tale. 

Deepti is in love, yes, but she is not blind to the differences, she just does not consider it to become a problem (which it will at some point atleast temporarily due to the different schools of thought). What will be most inspiring I guess is that I do think Pushpa recognises the spirit of Deepti as a working woman and so she will continue to side with her over Ashwin and push for them to reach for higher. This will be a story of a DIL and MIL who act like mother and daughter. They will stand like a firm boulder for each other. Ashwin might have to reconsider his own understanding though, since he has grown up without a father and thus has started to consider himself to be the head of the household paternal figure subconsciously, and that is a journey that will be worth the watch!