Bullies at work. - Page 4

Best wishes to you!

I usually try to avoid spending my time and energy on such people. Lekin many times you can't avoid them.

Kyunki we're talking about workplace, agar they don't stop even after confrontation, the best path is HR. Baaki job change is also a good option - this is a good time for that as the market is hot!

I was in a very toxic work environment. Honestly, it is not worth your mental health. I used to have anxiety 24/7. If there is one bully, you can deal with it but if the whole environment is toxic then you need to leave asap.

For the one bully, stand up to her/him/them, don't ignore them - they thrive on that. See if you can report it to a higher up.

I am sorry you are going through this, worst situation to be in. Hope things get better!

Originally posted by: trouble_006

Your supervisor will also have someone over him in the hierarchy. Approach him along with the HR.

'Releasing pressure through insulting subordinate' is a clear abuse of power. As simple as that.

In big corporates if you deal with all this professionally (as in there's a mail chain/record of your complaints and HR/Sr Management is in the loop), the guy will atleast get a formal warning or a project transfer. Most of the times it helps.

Formal complaints are very important in such cases.

Thanks for the reply but it's not a big corporate office a small one with smaller section and head in each section,... filing a complaint means transfer within a day🙄

It's so complex not like the regular bully but manipulative bully (i assume a narcissist too)

Originally posted by: Medha_Sree

Change the job if u find better one . Trying to find better job... Depends on situation . Keep calm when necessary n talk to supervisor when he is in good mood n kind to you . Slowly handle him n give back to him in his language only .

Keeping the conversation minimum but it's complicated sometimes they seems like genuine caring senior and other wise someone who wants to show who the boss is by passing unnecessary rude remarks over work

Originally posted by: Rekha_ji

When I scrolled by and saw this topic title, my heart sank 😭

BIG BIG HUGS 🤗 to you first of all. You are not alone.

Something like 1 in 3 people have experienced bullying at work (myself included). The other third is probably split between the bullies themselves and entry level/cleaners who have minimal power of position.

[I was always always always very well behaved and very quiet and shy at school and early work life, and for some reason people see that as an easy target. Turns out they were not wrong.]

You wait for someone to step in, but nobody does...

But then one day; you realise that it is your job to protect yourself and you can never look back...

So what I'm saying is:

1. You have to FIGHT. For your life. 😲

2. That's the only way. 😲

3. You just cannot let somebody disrespect you. 😲

4. You simply must stand up for yourself 😲

And by fight, that could mean a number of things: going to HR, calling the police, telling your friends and family, informing your boss, or even crushing the guys balls in your bare hands.

Either way.

The time has come to empower yourself, so own it.

(I know this is a very serious concern, so apologies if my response seems unhelpful or mocking in tone, but I am not joking about what I said, please excise the GIFs, ☺️ we are on a Bollywood Forum after-all)

all the best x x

This is such an empowering post ... are you also a motivational speaker on the side? 😆

I actually started hearing a victory song in the background half way through it. and it reminded me of all those times I had to really fight my usually "nice" nature to kick them where it hurts .... if only cuz they wouldn't have it any other way.

@Gul: Depending on the nature of their comments, you could take it up to the HR of the company -- provided the main point of contact in the HR team isn't another biased hack.

Apart from that, most of the comments already cover what I would have said, and then some. and I don't have anything new to add. Good luck. :)

Sad to know that dear. Please take care of your mental health. Don't take stress. Be strong. It's just a difficult phase which will pass soon. Just be strong and calm. Things will get better. Those bullies will get the taste of their own medicine soon.

Originally posted by: Gul_9

Thank you for this lovely post Rekha ji. ❤️

The way you have described yourself...shy, well behaved.. exactly how I have been since childhood.

I guess it's time to be brave and invoke the mardani within me now.

In the past, people told me "stand up for yourself" but it doesn't quite work by *snapping your fingers* - you can't do it as a response per someone's request. It has to be internal.

I just want you to know that one day, some day, you will not put up with this sh*t, and please don't feel too bad about maybe not being there right now. 🤗

You will also be faced with a choice decision: do you move on becoming "tougher", less "well behaved" in order to protect yourself from others mistreating you in similar situations in the future? It does make a lot of sense(...?)

I did briefly experiment with trying to appear to be kinda more un-ff-uu-cc-kk-withable - but it's kinda too much effort.

So I decided I'm still just gonna be the sweetie pie that I am, and let others try me on if they so wish. I started a new job last September and on the first day I had a big ass fight (verbal not physical) with one of the girls there that thought she was some kind of param sundari.

The way I undressed her (metaphorically) and sent her off taking an early break with several questions in her head was quite an unsettling and not nice feeling, but she deserved it, and more importantly I deserved it.

Also, everybody else got to see for free that this newbie is, although super sweet, not to be played with. But I have to admit, even this time, it was not something I ever want to have to do again, it's emotionally draining.

So be prepared. Alwayx/forever..

Originally posted by: SmittenKitten

This is such an empowering post ... are you also a motivational speaker on the side? 😆

I actually started hearing a victory song in the background half way through it. and it reminded me of all those times I had to really fight my usually "nice" nature to kick them where it hurts .... if only cuz they wouldn't have it any other way.

Motivational speaking???? I'd be the last person on the list of people most likely to do something like that. So then maybe I will become that cliche. Gladly. If life takes me there, but it's a while off yet. 😉

"Hey you guys, welcome to my TedTalk, on How To Crush Your Nasty Boss's Testicles With Your Mind"

[side note: I do enjoy watching these types of videos, and interviews, and reading books in the self improvement space, especially post-pandemic, so that's where I'm giving off that vibe. recommended.] 🤗

Originally posted by: Gul_9

How do you deal with assholes at work who leave no opportunity of putting you down or passing a nasty comment.

Its mentally exhausting dealing with such ch*#+@$

By changing you nature and passing nasty comment. Accha banke kuch faida nahi hoga, if someone is acting like a jerk, become a bigger jerk against him/her. Look for their weakness, the area of knowledge where they are weak and repeatedly insult them on that. Make them feel inferior and like POS that they are.

See I can give you logical solutions like report to HR, or confront or change your job. But everything fails, give them back what they deserve actually. Even if you don't feel its the right thing, sometimes, nothing is right or wrong, it is just necessary.