Member topic: Your first break up ever. - Page 4

Originally posted by: CuttingChai

Second breakup is the best way to forget the first one.

Ranbir fans should try breaking up RS and DP then.

i dumped him coz he was jealous and possessive

I was so relieved while he cried

Originally posted by: FingerFetish

Thank you love. 🤍 I think the experience is different for the person who initiated the breakup. Depending on the reason of course. But if you lose feelings for the person or realise that you’re happier without them around, then it’s much easier to let go and move on. Most of the time you’re mentally and emotionally over the relationship before it officially ends anyway. It’s the other person who isn’t ready (mentally and emotionally) to let go, which makes the process difficult, especially if the breakup was sudden and unforeseen.

Absolutely.

Some times you want to end everything with the concerned person but you couldn't gather that courage to convey but when you finally do, you become free but the other person at times doesn't take it well and become all the more toxic ..and then the cycle continues. Sigh.

Originally posted by: SlowlyDrifting

Absolutely.

Some times you want to end everything with the concerned person but you couldn't gather that courage to convey but when you finally do, you become free but the other person at times doesn't take it well and become all the more toxic ..and then the cycle continues. Sigh.

It takes courage and the will to ruin the mood of the day. Some people hate confrontation and would rather delay initiating a breakup by procrastinating over it. I feel guilty really quickly and would struggle with this kind of shit coz I hate hurting other peoples feelings. 😩

Originally posted by: FingerFetish

If you ever want to empty your heart out and talk about it, I’m always here to listen. If any essays need to be drafted, you just come right up at my PM door no matter what time. ❤️

The pain of breaking up is inevitable. I’m sorry that you have to go through with it. I promise you though, as much as it hurts now, one day you’ll wake up and realise that it doesn’t hurt as much as it did initially. It’s a slow and painful process, but it’ll pass eventually. 🤗

You're the sweetest ❤️ Thank you Samira. Means a lot to me.

🤗❤️

@Everyone Thank you guys for sharing your experiences and for the kind words. ❤️

I guess, this feeling will pass eventually as time passes.

I was 19 years old and i donot know how to tell him that I want to breakup with him. We are not right for eachother and i handled the situation very badly. Instead of explaining to him I went into silent mode and started avoiding him. After few days he understood and stopped talking to me and we went our separate ways. I never tried to ask him how much i hurt him or vice-versa.

Its long back and now no hard feelings when we met via common friends.

Originally posted by: FingerFetish

It takes courage and the will to ruin the mood of the day. Some people hate confrontation and would rather delay initiating a breakup by procrastinating over it. I feel guilty really quickly and would struggle with this kind of shit coz I hate hurting other peoples feelings. 😩

I'm the biggest loser when it comes to confront. I J.U.S.T cannot. I start analysing, calculating and often come to my self-made conclusions..long before the confrontation.😒 Is it possible to change this habit?

Originally posted by: SlowlyDrifting

I'm the biggest loser when it comes to confront. I J.U.S.T cannot. I start analysing, calculating and often come to my self-made conclusions..long before the confrontation.😒 Is it possible to change this habit?

Do you get anxious about it? Sounds like it by the way you described your thought process. Your mind comes up with negative/catastrophic thoughts, which in turn makes you feel nervous. Because your body is reacting (heart racing/butterflies) to your negative thoughts, it validates the notion that confronting is a bad idea. Basically like a false alarm.

Rationalising that your thoughts are simply thoughts is the first step, especially by educating yourself that being anxious in this situation is completely natural and does not equate to actual danger. You can also look into socratic questioning. This is a great way to challenge and question your irrational thoughts. I’ll link you to a video. Watch from the 2 minute mark.

Exposure also helps too. If you expose yourself to more confrontational situations, you’ll realise that most of the conclusions you made were baseless. But I think in your case, socratic questioning will really benefit you.

https://youtu.be/w1jHWSgcVlk

Originally posted by: FingerFetish

Do you get anxious about it? Sounds like it by the way you described your thought process. Your mind comes up with negative/catastrophic thoughts, which in turn makes you feel nervous. Because your body is reacting (heart racing/butterflies) to your negative thoughts, it validates the notion that confronting is a bad idea. Basically like a false alarm.

Rationalising that your thoughts are simply thoughts is the first step, especially by educating yourself that being anxious in this situation is completely natural and does not equate to actual danger. You can also look into socratic questioning. This is a great way to challenge and question your irrational thoughts. I’ll link you to a video. Watch from the 2 minute mark.

Exposure also helps too. If you expose yourself to more confrontational situations, you’ll realise that most of the conclusions you made were baseless. But I think in your case, socratic questioning will really benefit you.

https://youtu.be/w1jHWSgcVlk

Yes yes!!! I do get utterly anxious and feel like vomitting all the time actually till the time of confrontation. Only negative thoughts cloud my mind, I start preparing for answers to the unasked and totally stupid questions, I analyse the whole scenario 1000 times in my mind which makes me feel so tired mentally. 🥺 Lost the focus, only numbness!.. you hit the right chord. 😅

Thanks for this link. I am definitely gonna go through it. ♥️

Never been in a relationship so never had one