Originally posted by: sadiltl
Lakshmi, a nice thought provoking post as always. Agree with whatever you said about role reversal. I am 100% on it that if Sai should move on, Virat should not have a problem. And I also think, NOW, he will not stop her. Please dont have prejudice that I am a Virat supporter just because I like his character. :) So here are my reasons.
Virat's post anniversary response is something that has to be looked at differently. It is not about his love there, the blame was directly on his character that he was two timing. With all the he has done to control her and show his rights on her, which I condemn equivocally, it is his inability to prove himself to her that pushed him that far. For all that I know of Virat, he will not say he loves her directly(Sai wants that). He has his reasons for it. One thing is definitely his love for her that he will not force her by declaring his feelings. I dont know why it is so obvious to me but not to many people. He knows Sai will accept him if he says he loves her and wants this marriage. He doesnt want that. He is trying his best to show in his own ways (which is not enough for Sai) that he loves her. Why Sai cannot see it, also has valid reasons. But that phase where he got abusive over her post anniversary has nothing to do with his ego or self centered ness. He did get selfish for a while by placing his hurt above his basic duties towards Sai. That hurt of his needs sympathy, but not his actions which arose from it.
Coming to double standards, yes he was taken over by extreme jealousy at Ajinkya. He regreted it. His insecurities festered for a long time and took ugly shape. But now, if Sai choses someone will he stop her? I dont think so. He has already said in a monologue that he is ready to be his friend. He is not even forcing her to come to his room. Choice is clearly hers. If on Kaku's demand she had to move, he is ready to distance himself. I am 100% sure he will not bind her now.
In short, at this point of time if Sai choses a different path, he will give up. What he does to himself, is something that depends on his emotional state which is very volatile and also his mental strength to come out of it and get going.
Coming to the precap, if it happens (not as dream) I condemn it and I dont support Virat for his help to injured Pakhi. As I mentioned in the EDT, he is now in a very delicate position with his wife. If he does it knowing that there are chances Sai is around, then it is a big mistake and he will not have any valid reason to explain if Sai questions his actions. This time it should be considered a mistake, a terrible one. And he will face the consequences. For once for his own benefit, he should chose himself over his duty. :P
Coming to Kaku, I dont even consider her thoughts as they are not progressive or fair. The way she said Sai has to 'do' something for her husband shows how she thinks wife and husband are unequal in sharing conjugal bliss. As Neerja rightly pointed out, even Sai is missing out on him. We as audience know that she loves him and wants to have a normal marital relationship with him, subconsciously, so she is also denied of same things that Virat is denied. So if Kaku has that kind of mindset, we should not even discuss about her demands and rules set for female folks in the house.
I would like to add a bit on Samrat here, because there was lot of discussion about his approach towards Pakhi. I dont think he did anything wrong in 'trying' to approach Pakhi. He is trying his best to move on and make this marriage work. So what is wrong in checking if she is ok with closing the distance between them. Someone has to test the waters no? If he had proceeded with the act when she is uncomfortable then it is a mistake. Also Pakhi herself told multiple times she wants to work on the marriage. So why are we judging him? If we reverse roles here and Pakhi 'fakes' to come closer to Samrat, is that OK?. Thats why intentions, intentions are important. I felt so bad to see Samrat being bashed for 'trying' to take the first step. Wanted to add it here, so someone could try to correct my understanding if I am wrong.
Hi Sadhika,
The main purpose behind this post is to say that Virat wasn’t doing a favour on Sai and Sai need not be returning any favour by reciprocating his feelings or let him come close to her. I feel and find the whole thought to be cringe. Physical relationship is not the only thing in a couple’s life and anywhere and everywhere that is the topic. I really don’t understand how can anyone feel sorry for Virat that they don’t have any physical relationship between them when it was him who put such an idea in first place. Also, as I have mentioned in the post, if Virat had not fallen in love with Sai, it would have been really torturous for a girl like Sai who inspite of being committed wouldn’t have had a partner to share her days with and also wouldn’t be in a position to look at anyone else as how any single girl would have got to. It is not that Sai would, but the chance of that has been taken away. She also could have dated other men. Virat had given a waada to Pakhi, but Sai didn’t.
So, my point is that it will be double standards, whoever it is, be it characters like Kaku in the show or audience or anyone to feel sorry for Virat that Sai isn’t reciprocating his feelings or letting him come close to her when the same thing and even worse situation is what Sai has been facing and would have faced.
Virat signed up for this with both Pakhi and Sai and he is just facing the consequences.
Whether Virat loves her or not, he tells or not, I don’t care anymore about it as long as the onus is not put on Sai when he was the one who had sowed the seeds of waada, his past relationship, life long commitment, can’t be a husband etc and hence I feel that whatever it is, when he expects something, he should have cleared the misunderstanding and should have also ensured that he doesn’t create more and more day by day.
It is not like no one understands what Virat feels, just that the credibility is lost now that he cannot be trusted anymore by many of us.
@bold I have myself criticised Sai for what happened during the anniversary but after all the turn of events, after watching Virat’s behaviour in that track, after reading many comments, I really wonder if it was even right to have blamed Sai. It is as if she said what she felt since no one else other than herself would know what she is going through and that is how she felt about him which looks quite right to many since his behaviour or his actions seems like that. So be it Sai or audience, anyone would say that he is on two boats. Also, his hurt and other things can’t push him to act inhuman.
His abusive behaviour was a result of him acting egoistic and he is always a self centred person and especially with Sai. I see Virat as someone who would always be a burden on Sai in some way or the other since she will be the one who will have to deal with him, his expectations, his demands, his ego and so much more. It is going to be too tough. Never thought that I would say he would be tough to be dealt with, but I believe that is what it has come to now.
Sorry, placing hurt above his duties you say? He was acting inhuman and abused her. He also ganged up with his ex and humiliated her and such acts cannot be just termed as acts of hurt. Such people don’t deserve sympathy but slaps from elders like his mom or treatment from therapist or even be punished to have locked up a living girl in a room like an animal without regretting at all. Him regretting later or saying sorry meant nothing.
He stops Sai now or not, doesn’t matter when forever he has been a hypocrite expecting one thing from Sai and him acting like a bachelor, carefree. He is such a insensitive guy who never cares about Sai or anyone and will only do what he wants or thinks.
He is not a kid, he is a pampered and spoilt child who wasn’t corrected every time he made mistakes I guess. He might have grown up in a toxic environment but he never tried to break free from it or worked on standing up for what is right. I am sorry but I have absolutely no sympathy for this guy who acts as per his convenience and mood. He is a totally unpredictable and unreliable person who has only expectations. It is like Sai will be made to give and give but he wouldn’t do anything from his side to make her feel comfortable, better or secured when he would be demanding it from her.
I did talk about Kaku, but I also meant that for the society who carries such thoughts. Whatever was shown on the show is something that I have read in many places too. This whole post is to make people think that when people feel sorry for Virat, why didn’t they not think that Sai also has fallen into a pit which Virat had dug himself. No point in feeling sorry for him or say that he has done a lot for her and she isn’t doing anything. I am not even able to hear such comments. In a way, Kaku is a representation of one part of our society which comprises of men, women, who are young, old, belonging to all age categories who think that way. It is really sad that people think this way and that too those who are educated, those who themselves go through a lot of struggle. I am not sure how is the society always turning into one where they feel sorry only for the guy and not for the girl? Who can only understand the pain of the guy but not that of a girl? One should look at all these for a person, an individual irrespective of the gender.
I am not going to talk about Samrat Pakhi, since I feel exhausted after whatever I have replied so far 🥲.
Main intent of the post is to bring out the point that one should stop having expectations from a girl, to stop looking at having physical relationship as a duty, to stop expecting that the guy’s feeling gets understood and reciprocated and especially by saying that the guy has done so much for her. We have all progressed in so many ways and the patriarchal mindset has ruled the society so much that people don’t even realise that they have also developed one. Not many intend to but they get so much influenced by the way the society works that they get carried away.
I am not a fan of Sai, not a fan of Virat too. I only express my views on a particular thing looking at it as a topic of concern. Gender doesn’t matter to me. I can’t sympathise the characters for a particular reason especially when they keep going wrong. If one makes a mistake, I point it out, whoever the character is. This topic has been discussed so much all over and in the show too, that I thought I will express my views. If you know me by now, my views would have been the same if the roles were reversed too.
I know, a really lengthy reply. Writing after a long time and just got carried away. I know, you do trust/like Virat but please look at this as just my views about the characters and this topic.
Edited by laksh - 4 years ago
