Whose pain is the problem? - Page 2

Patralekha and sai came same time and both don't have experience to grind and now Sonali kaku us there from yers also don't know to grind. When sai hand burn then also no grinder broght. And patralekha grinded only once that also sai ask her to realise mistake so how can you are saying only if FL hands get burnt then only they will broght grinder

Originally posted by: Tapdance

For the longest time in Ghum fandom people are of the opinion that CN people need to hire help and move on to using technology. It is Ashwini who does the maximum in the kitchen, no one would have endured such accidents more than her.

But this Mahabhoj has some custom wherein they have to do it with their hands. Honestly, it is not as dangerous as they make it look like; a lot of families do it on a stone grinder during Shrad or wedding times or for nursing mother's for certain rituals. It is the inhumane way they make the woman do it that's wrong, agreed. And the FL wasn't enjoying the torture, as far as I remember she went to help and was repeatedly saying that Sonali pushed her by mistake. I don't think anybody in that house enjoys someone else getting tortured other than Sonali, Omkar, Patralekha and Karishma not that this means anybody was asking for it. Using such things as punishment is wrong, better give it to someone with experience if it has to be done with hands on certain occasions.

Yup

Ashwini would have endured it for years under Bhavani

I didn't say that Sai enjoyed the torture, she belittled it as chhoti si baat as pointed out by one member, I didn't like her acting mahan and asking Sonali to let her do it, I don't want this mahanta from her. I said I would have preferred Sai asking them to put a full stop to this torture instead of requesting to participating in it.

Originally posted by: NoraSM

I have a different view, I don't see people at the receiving end when I see the perpetrator is Bhavani, the power and authority comes from her, this is making women do things which results in burn in their palm, I don't enjoy this abuse of power or the torture as a norm

Tit for tat was when Sai made Pakhi do it right after after was asked to do it, If you remember the track and none had any objections to it because Sai was right, she was just giving Pakhi, the taste of her own medicine

Word. ❤️

Being a little vengeful is very human. I didn't mind Sai making Pakhi grind the masala - tit for tat, as you sow so will you reap. I would not have minded if Sai had called out Sonali or kept quiet or even feel a little glee at Sonali's misery. It is afterall human and no one is obligated to change the world - it is enough if you fight for yourself.

However, the power structure in CN is so horrible, so toxic - where a bahu treats other bahus (and their bahus) like they are her slaves, controls them and their personal life. Saying all this is choti si baat was something Virat would say (which he did during first mirchi kaand), not Sai. Sai was shown to be someone who understands right from wrong. Unfortunately, this show butchers all the sane characters and exalts criminals.

Originally posted by: NoraSM

Yup

Ashwini would have endured it for years under Bhavani

I didn't say that Sai enjoyed the torture, she belittled it as chhoti si baat as pointed out by one member, I didn't like her acting mahan and asking Sonali to let her do it, I don't want this mahanta from her. I said I would have preferred Sai asking them to put a full stop to this torture instead of requesting to participating in it.

Agreed, hate all this mahaanta. It's cringey at times! Choti si baat was not cool.

Sai, still doesn't hold that much power in such matters I think, hopefully someday. It's not easy to override a matriarch when something comes across as a tradition. Like per say directly grinding on a stone is not something that is very dangerous, the way the power dynamics flow and some people keep suffering over other's is sad. One can put the chillis in a grinder and the less burning stuff like a garlic into the hand grinder to keep the tradition intact. But Ghum wouldn't be ghum without all this old schooled nonsense. I hope they have a better sequence next time around; I'm sure they can work on bettering such things but they made a joke out of mental health and domestic abuse. So, I don't keep such hopes anymore from this show😅

The question I like to ask often in such instances is why do some women pass on suffrage to the next generation just because they endured it in theirs? A truly sadistic viewpoint this is in general with our society. A woman who's endured harmful traditions via her in laws if truly progressive will hope to tone it down or remove it entirely for her next generation. Unfortunately, the matriarch of this family is not one such woman. Hopefully, the next generation does all this better!

Originally posted by: Tapdance

For the longest time in Ghum fandom people are of the opinion that CN people need to hire help and move on to using technology. It is Ashwini who does the maximum in the kitchen, no one would have endured such accidents more than her.

But this Mahabhoj has some custom wherein they have to do it with their hands. Honestly, it is not as dangerous as they make it look like; a lot of families do it on a stone grinder during Shrad or wedding times or for nursing mother's for certain rituals. It is the inhumane way they make the woman do it that's wrong, agreed. And the FL wasn't enjoying the torture, as far as I remember she went to help and was repeatedly saying that Sonali pushed her by mistake. I don't think anybody in that house enjoys someone else getting tortured other than Sonali, Omkar, Patralekha and Karishma not that this means anybody was asking for it. Using such things as punishment is wrong, better give it to someone with experience if it has to be done with hands on certain occasions.

Keeping aside the argument of division of labour between men and women in CN, the main problem is not grinding the masala per se, but the gall Bhavani has in deciding who needs to be punished and how. It's like slavery.

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

Keeping aside the argument of division of labour between men and women in CN, the main problem is not grinding the masala per se, but the gall Bhavani has in deciding who needs to be punished and how. It's like slavery.

Totally, Bhavani is a terrible matriarch. She thinks she has the family in order with her strictness and authority but the bonds in the family in reality are anything but that. I agree grinding is not as much as an issue as her arrogance and the power she gets to flaunt. I don't like her being whitewashed like a good person, she's not a good person. Nobody is buying her niceness just because she's being suddenly nice to Sai. She's the biggest problem in the family and cause of it's major discords.

Originally posted by: NoraSM

I have a different view, I don't see people at the receiving end when I see the perpetrator is Bhavani, the power and authority comes from her, this is making women do things which results in burn in their palm, I don't enjoy this abuse of power or the torture as a norm

Tit for tat was when Sai made Pakhi do it right after she was asked to do it, If you remember the track and none had any objections to it because Sai was right, she was just giving Pakhi, the taste of her own medicine

Bhavani part I agree..

About tit for tat for Sonali ..She started it...infact she is the only one who had zero sympathy for a dying person and then it comes to her being back ..she wanted her to work because she is the bahu of the house knowing clearly she was unwell...coming from the person who does not even step in the kitchen...So that way tot for tat..So the taste of her own medicine..

About women doing these parts.. I questioned it long back... when they normalised mirchi grinding by the ML himself. My expectations from this show was done then..In any case it's not as tedious as it's shown here... Coming to women doing it...this show is not the one that deals with from the evry beginning...I don't think any show does..

Originally posted by: ltelidevara

Chavans use grinder at other times but for Mahabhoj they will do everything on their own. That is the explanation given when Sai asked Usha Maushi to bring the grinder that day. It is not about FL or others for that matter.

Actually this makes sense. Or else why would they always create a drama upon this particular chore. If it's something like pooja or special occasion, that's at least reasonable. Or else who in this modern world will grind everyday with a stone mortar like they show. 😆