Question for women being pressured into marriage or those that did...

Are you happy? Would you have done something differently?

I am concerned that a character like Priya is making compromises because her father goaded her and her mother basically emotionally blackmailed her. Let's be real, not everyone is going to get an eligible catch like Ram in life. I am talking about a show showing Indian women that compromising to make family happy with a value. What if you don't fall for the husband? Is that life worth it?

I am not concerned by the pressure for marriage being shown as it is very realistic. There are no Rams in real life just men, flawed and human.

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The pressure we face is not just parents, it’s culture, society, what we see/hear and our own expectations of ourselves.

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You can’t regret the decisions you make as they got you where you are. You make decisions based on information, knowledge you have at the time. People telling you, advising you matters but you are still the one who made the decision.

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We all compromise, adjust and chose the route you want to take in life. Then you make the best of it and if the route ( choice/decision) was wrong then you take all the lessons you learned and change your route.

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And life goes on…

Originally posted by: ShellJA

I am not concerned by the pressure for marriage being shown as it is very realistic. There are no Rams in real life just men, flawed and human.

.

The pressure we face is not just parents, it’s culture, society, what we see/hear and our own expectations of ourselves.

.

You can’t regret the decisions you make as they got you where you are. You make decisions based on information, knowledge you have at the time. People telling you, advising you matters but you are still the one who made the decision.

.

We all compromise, adjust and chose the route you want to take in life. Then you make the best of it and if the route ( choice/decision) was wrong then you take all the lessons you learned and change your route.

.

And life goes on…

I am not saying it is not showing what happens. I am asking women who can been dealing with it for advice. How are they dealing with it? Making peace with things imposed upon me is not something I can do well, so I am curious how people have faced this difficulty. Women of so many cultures have to compromise on love, this is why love is the obsessive theme in all these stories.

This is why I say this show is bakwas and so is kekta. Compromised marriage is such an outdated concept. This is the 21st century, after all. 🤢

Originally posted by: Marybarton

Are you happy? Would you have done something differently?

I am concerned that a character like Priya is making compromises because her father goaded her and her mother basically emotionally blackmailed her. Let's be real, not everyone is going to get an eligible catch like Ram in life. I am talking about a show showing Indian women that compromising to make family happy with a value. What if you don't fall for the husband? Is that life worth it?

I guess that people should marry at a certain age is so ingrained in everyone that even if one wants to live differently, one can't. The pressure of parents, society is just too much. I don't think one really has a choice. Like you don't want to marry because you just don't want to is something that noone understands. As in the serial people just don't leave you alone. Priya would have been content being single, but does she have that choice? If not for herself she has to do it for family. She wants her mom happy. Otherwise people keep taunting or start making up stories. And for her mom too, getting her married is the biggest dream or something doesn't matter she is independent and can very well look after herself. And in the serial toh most people seem to have a bad marriage but still push Priya into it🤪

But in real life too its very much true. And I am at a stage in life that I relate to all this😆 I am not against marriage or something but I don't think it is necessary. But society doesn't seem to think so. Sometimes I feel like why don't we get that choice of remaining single or marrying only when we feel like it or want to get into a relationship. We don't usually get the choice of no I don't want to get married. Its definitely not taken kindly. Why is it considered such a big deal? Why isn't it considered normal?

I am not generalizing but going by my observations I feel like many girls get married because parents/family/society feels ki abb shadi ki umr hogai hai toh shadi kara dete hain and not because they themselves want to get married ( love marriage case is different I guess, I am speaking mostly of arranged marriages). Though serials ki tarah har sentence mein koi compromise bolta nahi rehta🤪 they do get into it wishing to build a life together.

Given a choice probably they would have chosen differently. Having said that I have seen many people being happy with what they got and some with regrets too. Many just learn living with it. Because again log kya kahenge. People like Ram don't exist in real life I guess. But many do get good people and stay happy. Nahi toh mostly adjust kar lete hain unless there is big enough reason to leave

Sorry for the rant🤣 likhte likhte kaafi bada hogaya. No offence to anyone, just said what I have observed around me and my thoughts.

Originally posted by: bhshre95

I guess that people should marry at a certain age is so ingrained in everyone that even if one wants to live differently, one can't. The pressure of parents, society is just too much. I don't think one really has a choice. Like you don't want to marry because you just don't want to is something that noone understands. As in the serial people just don't leave you alone. Priya would have been content being single, but does she have that choice? If not for herself she has to do it for family. She wants her mom happy. Otherwise people keep taunting or start making up stories. And for her mom too, getting her married is the biggest dream or something doesn't matter she is independent and can very well look after herself. And in the serial toh most people seem to have a bad marriage but still push Priya into it🤪

But in real life too its very much true. And I am at a stage in life that I relate to all this😆 I am not against marriage or something but I don't think it is necessary. But society doesn't seem to think so. Sometimes I feel like why don't we get that choice of remaining single or marrying only when we feel like it or want to get into a relationship. We don't usually get the choice of no I don't want to get married. Its definitely not taken kindly. Why is it considered such a big deal? Why isn't it considered normal?

I am not generalizing but going by my observations I feel like many girls get married because parents/family/society feels ki abb shadi ki umr hogai hai toh shadi kara dete hain and not because they themselves want to get married ( love marriage case is different I guess, I am speaking mostly of arranged marriages). Though serials ki tarah har sentence mein koi compromise bolta nahi rehta🤪 they do get into it wishing to build a life together.

Given a choice probably they would have chosen differently. Having said that I have seen many people being happy with what they got and some with regrets too. Many just learn living with it. Because again log kya kahenge. People like Ram don't exist in real life I guess. But many do get good people and stay happy. Nahi toh mostly adjust kar lete hain unless there is big enough reason to leave

Sorry for the rant🤣 likhte likhte kaafi bada hogaya. No offence to anyone, just said what I have observed around me and my thoughts.

Thank you for your thoughts. It soothed me to hear other women talk this way.

I think I was giving advice as an older member here. I compromised based on the information I had. I really wanted to have children and felt I was getting old. The relationship didn’t work out but I got children out of it. Now I am older no longer willing to compromise so walking away.

Basically you do what you have to and don’t regret your choices or blame anyone and always look ahead not back.

Hope I am making sense 😊

Originally posted by: ShellJA

I think I was giving advice as an older member here. I compromised based on the information I had. I really wanted to have children and felt I was getting old. The relationship didn’t work out but I got children out of it. Now I am older no longer willing to compromise so walking away.

Basically you do what you have to and don’t regret your choices or blame anyone and always look ahead not back.

Hope I am making sense 😊

Thank you for your honest take :)

Originally posted by: Marybarton

Are you happy? Would you have done something differently?

I am concerned that a character like Priya is making compromises because her father goaded her and her mother basically emotionally blackmailed her. Let's be real, not everyone is going to get an eligible catch like Ram in life. I am talking about a show showing Indian women that compromising to make family happy with a value. What if you don't fall for the husband? Is that life worth it?

Even if you don’t fall for him, atleast the man is sensible and quite grounded. He knows how to respect women, take a stand for her and support her. Frankly this is way better than even a love marriage where husband doesn’t even care about his wives feelings, doesn’t respect her and take a stand for her even in front of his parents.

Getting married is somehow so deeply rooted in our society, especially for women that such a situation isn’t bothersome and in fact much better than going for a love marriage where u keep surrendering yourself and in return no one respects you, cares for you and eventually doesn’t love you any more. All they care about is the women fulfilling all her familial duties and sacrifice her life for everyone over her own wishes.

According to me, Going for a love marriage isn’t modernism, being respectful and accepting someone who respects you and takes a stand for you equally is a forward thinking approach or modernism. In that sense, I really have immense respect for Ram and the makers for showcasing such an amazing and loving ML on ITV. I feel to create drama and keep the audience hooked to a tv show, it’s important that the lead pair fall in love but the way BALH2 is going, it doesn’t really bother me if they take a long time to make PriRa fall in love coz their journey looks applaudable more than them falling in love.

Originally posted by: bhshre95

I guess that people should marry at a certain age is so ingrained in everyone that even if one wants to live differently, one can't. The pressure of parents, society is just too much. I don't think one really has a choice. Like you don't want to marry because you just don't want to is something that noone understands. As in the serial people just don't leave you alone. Priya would have been content being single, but does she have that choice? If not for herself she has to do it for family. She wants her mom happy. Otherwise people keep taunting or start making up stories. And for her mom too, getting her married is the biggest dream or something doesn't matter she is independent and can very well look after herself. And in the serial toh most people seem to have a bad marriage but still push Priya into it🤪

But in real life too its very much true. And I am at a stage in life that I relate to all this😆 I am not against marriage or something but I don't think it is necessary. But society doesn't seem to think so. Sometimes I feel like why don't we get that choice of remaining single or marrying only when we feel like it or want to get into a relationship. We don't usually get the choice of no I don't want to get married. Its definitely not taken kindly. Why is it considered such a big deal? Why isn't it considered normal?

I am not generalizing but going by my observations I feel like many girls get married because parents/family/society feels ki abb shadi ki umr hogai hai toh shadi kara dete hain and not because they themselves want to get married ( love marriage case is different I guess, I am speaking mostly of arranged marriages). Though serials ki tarah har sentence mein koi compromise bolta nahi rehta🤪 they do get into it wishing to build a life together.

Given a choice probably they would have chosen differently. Having said that I have seen many people being happy with what they got and some with regrets too. Many just learn living with it. Because again log kya kahenge. People like Ram don't exist in real life I guess. But many do get good people and stay happy. Nahi toh mostly adjust kar lete hain unless there is big enough reason to leave

Sorry for the rant🤣 likhte likhte kaafi bada hogaya. No offence to anyone, just said what I have observed around me and my thoughts.

I agree....I don't understand why we are still so obsessed with marriage and having kids.

Like person is not given a choice to get married or not. Its just thought of something so important that you have to get married whether in love or as a compromise.

It is considered a necessary step of life...without which we can't live

Same goes for having kids too.

If somebody doesn't want to have kids then it their choice....

There may be people who don't want to have kids but its no even considered....its like it is something so important.

We are such a big population...like humans are not going to get extinct if some people don't want to have kids🤣