Virat and Pakhi are not in an emotional affair - a different view

Virat has been criticised a lot for the past 7-9 weeks and rightly so. I have generally agreed with a lot of what is said. I have disagreed with some major points though which have consensus view. The first was that I made a post about my view that Virat is in love with Sai, despite how it appears and contrary to a lot of views. I have seen a lot of posts recently about Virat and PK being in an emotional affair, which a majority view being that they are. I am not convinced though. Like many things with PK, I think it is one-sided.

I really flip-flop between whether Virat and PK are having an emotional affair or not. It changes as the show continues, but I do not know if that is because of the complexity of the characters/script as it is supposed to be presented, or because of inconsistent/poor writing. Where I ultimately fall at this moment is that they are not in an emotional affair, but Virat is an emotional fool who is easily manipulated. I suspect I may be in a minority view on this, but I have set out my views below.

Any form of consensual affair, emotional or physical, requires the consent of both (or more!) individuals to participate in it. I do not think Virat is consenting to being in an emotional affair. I think he is so gullible, easy to manipulate and unable to process his emotions generally that he may be unwittingly seen as being in one, even when he is not.

The main signs of being in an emotional affair include (but not limited to): frequent contact between the friends; frequent sharing; constant thoughts about the friend; feeling understood; inappropriate sharing and not sharing with spouse; unfair comparisons between spouse and friend; spending more time together; lying or looking for excuse to spend time together; less time for your partner/lack of interest in intimacy with your spouse; giving personal gifts; and keeping the friendship secret. The relationship between Virat and Sai further complicates things because one views it as real and the other says it is not with the net result that the relationship and expectations are not properly/expressly defined.

Virat does tick some of those boxes, but I do not think he does so knowingly or consensually.

Firstly, Virat has for the most part (since the realisation of his feelings with Sai and as they got deeper) kept distance from PK. It is usually shown that PK is going to him and invading his space. It is never shown (other than early episodes) that Virat is seeking out PK. There are a lot of comments about how close they are in scenes (different people having different views on it, but I think it comes down to direction), but they are not alone by themselves, they are sharing that space in front of everyone, so Virat is not concealing anything or doing so in secret. This point also relates to lying about spending time together or looking for an excuse to spend time together. I do not think Virat does either, but PK definitely does.

Second, Virat has definitely shared things with PK, mostly his feelings about Sai and how much he loves her, but again I do not think this is willingly. Most times, as far as I can remember, either PK has come to him looking to talk (e.g. after he returned from GC and cafe scene) to him about his feelings and him clearing where he stands and his feelings about Sai. He does not seek her out to share his feelings. The one he usually seeks out to share his feelings with is Sunny. Other instances is when PK eavesdrops on him (as with recent episodes) or barges into his fights/conversations with Sai (where both Sai and Virat are happy to air their laundry before her when she comes) and then forces the conversation with Virat, including where Virat tells her to leave him alone. So, I think he has shared more with her than others, but I'm not sure that is not from the circumstances, as opposed to wanting to or seeking her out to do so. This point also relates to inappropriate sharing. I think it is also telling that what he shares with her is his feelings and love for Sai. I don't think he has shared other things unrelated to Sai, e.g. when she came to instigate him against Pulkit and the marriage with Devi, Virat never told her about Harinee, etc., which Sai had told him. Also (while clearly visible), he did not share his feelings about Ajinkya with her or even Aniket in the early days (although that was still a blurred time in respect of his feelings).

Third, he definitely does not have constant thoughts or does not day dream about PK. He does not think about her at all and that is part of his frustration because Sai does always bring her up during their conversations/fights and he gets frustrated/confused (stupidly so because it should be obvious to any person why PK being there is an issue). He has, time and again, shown he is not that bothered (e.g. when she was refusing to eat, when Sai told him to inform her about the anniversary trip, when they were in the taxi and Sai brought her up, PK trying to set fire to herself, etc.).

Fourth, I think he does feel understood by her, or at least listened to and not judged by her. Again, this is more to do with PK being manipulative and wanting to appease him. Look at, for example, the Shivani/Amay incident when PK was criticised by Virat and the next day she was apologising and saying he was right. I think this has happened a few times. She has a tendency to change her tone to always try to get him onside and feel understood when he is saying something against her (e.g. recent track where he told her that she allows herself to be criticised by Sai because of her actions). The greatest effect of this is the recent track where Virat was behaving disgustingly with Sai because she was not reciprocating his love. She keeps repeating that Sai does not have feelings for him, always told him she does not care for him, etc. His response is to slide into the skid, as it were. However, I think this is more to do with him being manipulated and his bizarre "ignorance is bliss" mindset where he thinks everyone is like him and forgets the past immediately once they decide to move on, so he does not focus or realise he is being manipulated.

Finally, as for the other points he has not generally made unfair comparisons between the two. I know he recently did, but again I do not think that was as brutal as others do. He was comparing them as to how they act with the family, but he was not comparing the two directly as individuals, i.e. looks, intelligence, kind-heartedness, etc. He has done this only once, but otherwise has always told PK not to compare herself to Sai and in the hospital said is she did, she will always find she comes below Sai. I also do not think the comparison was for the sake of telling Sai that PK was better than her, but more to do with him trying to hurt her in his frustration. The "relationship" between Virat and PK was kept a secret from everyone other than Sai. Virat actually told Sai about the relationship. The relationship was kept from the Samrat and the family, but not the friendship as such, so this was not kept a secret. Moreover, Virat, up until recently, was not decreasing the time he wanted to and was spending Sai, or had a lack of intimacy with Sai. Rather, it was the opposite and he has been trying to get more and more intimate with Sai, although without clearing up all the misunderstandings. Even after the anniversary trip where he is trying to keep distance from Sai, he was not looking to increase his time with PK.

My view that Virat is not engaged in an emotional affair with PK is reinforced by the fact that at the start of his marriage with Sai, he was. The earlier episodes shows he clear was. He would think about her, he would go to her room and in the garden to speak to her, called her his pyari cheez, shared his issues at work with her, went to her parents house to convince her to return. The fact that he stopped doing all of this since the realisation of his feelings for Sai tells me he is not having an emotional affair. It does tell me that PK has been instigating and manipulating him and he is gullible and ignorant enough to fall for her shenanigans.

I know the above puts the entirety of the blame on PK. I am not saying Virat does not share blame for this perception, but I am approaching it on the basis that PK's motive is to engage Virat in an emotional affair as I think has been her clear intention, whereas it has not been Virat's.

I have tagged a few people whose posts/analysis I really enjoy reading and would love their views on this as well as everyone else's, including the counterpoints.

Virat is frustrated, gullible, easily manipulated, hot headed idiot but he is not attached to Patralekha. About bullying Sai by ganging up with Patralekha, Virat has this tape in his mind that Sai doesn't understand him. It is like his pain point. All Patralekha does is trigger it. I may not agree and even abuse Virat for many of his actions but right now he has not given me any hint of being emotionally invested in Patralekha.

Will add more...

Originally posted by: nutmeg7

Virat is frustrated, gullible, easily manipulated, hot headed idiot but he is not attached to Patralekha. About bullying Sai by ganging up with Patralekha, Virat has this tape in his mind that Sai doesn't understand him. It is like his pain point. All Patralekha does is trigger it. I may not agree and even abuse Virat for many of his actions but right now he has not given me any hint of being emotionally invested in Patralekha.

Will add more...

Do you use Google algorithm to summarize :P Thanks for giving the summary of my nonsense that I have just written. Kudos 👏

I agree with you. I think PK is a master at exploiting his insecurities and his flaws and he lacks common sense to see it for what it is.

Looking forward to reading your further views.

You have explained it thoroughly. I tried to see him from the view point of emotional seeking but I could not get past a single incident.

For now I am happy to think he is stupid and too gullible for Pakhi level manipulations. She is an expert at it. And does very good job.

Great post. But everything you listed is precisely why Virat needs to realize and introspect about WHY Sai will NOT see his interactions with pp as being platonic.

He needs to realize that Sai is not petty. She may be brash but shes actually very sensitive. She maybe stubborn but she is not stupid. She was mature enough to ask him to go to pp right after their marriage to talk to her. She was mature enough to understand the necessity for pp n him to go to ladakh. She didnt intend on joining them. She was genuinely ok with it. If she repeatedly drags pp in between them now, its not out of stubbornness, its out of genuine insecurity n discomfort. And if Virat cant deal with that and decides he is now no longer going to be patient /understanding then thats his loss.

you noted in the post, the criteria for emotional cheating. He has ticked off all the boxes of an emotional affair without even realizing it. It may not be intentional or consensual but its happening and Sai perceives that he is emotionally invested in pp so much that theres no space for her in his life/heart as a "wife". His mild manneredness with pp and the leverage he still gives her even AFTER he has seen how low she can go, how vile she is- its unacceptable. It means that somewhere he is getting an ego boost out of this woman pining after him, he is enjoying the attention....theres no other explanation for why he allows pp so nuch leeway. How can he still call a woman like pp a friend. How can he NOT call her vahini but instead call her pakhi.

Even after Samrat pp have declared their intention to "move on" why does pp keep barging in to Sairat room and their space and their matters. Its obvious she is deliberately riling Sai up. And Virat is acting as if he is dumb n cant see the obvious.

And in the hospital scene today she again honestly tells him "you are too special" etc etc- so she's cheating her brother too. She proved that Sai was right. She'd never do what she was doing if she truly had moved on and decided to give his brother a chance. And virat clearly registered that, looked disgusted by it and YET he chose to hold her hands and cry! I mean its ridiculous.

In his anger/hurt with Sai recently he has compared Sai to pp, he has allowed pp to walk into their space without reprimanding her and allowed her to talk to Sai in a manner that suggests that Sai has come between them and is only worthy of hate, scorn, sarcasm.

If he put himself in Sai's shoes and truly introspected he'd understood why Sai is so resistant to his advances and shoots him down and keeps singing the raag of deal shaadi. If he truly "understood" Sai (like he wants her to do- read his unsaid words n emotions) then he'd see that she has been behaving like a wife, caring for him more than just out of insaaniyat and has tried to be possessive as a wife would but she has retreated into a shell because of pp n the behavior of his family. No one has accepted her as a bahu. She is constantly berated. And the person she is looking to for security- her husband- also flip flops routinely in his attitude. Sai basically cannot trust virat with her heart after everything he has said/done in the early days as well as now more recently. There was a brief period in between where Sai had her hopes up of a real relationship but since the pool incident and then cafe incident her hopes have been dashed again. And her self respect too has been crushed because now shes simply a bojh, a compromise and a samjhauta for him.

A person who is totally broken from inside is often so vulnerable that he hangs on to whatever he thinks will float his boat. Doobte ko tinke ka sahara. Patralekha knows that he is yearning for Sai. She first wanted to check if he has any residual feelings (gathbandhan in fire), when it failed, she started poking him where it would bring out his inner turmoil to turn it into rage. As Sai said, " Samrat Dada Lautne ke baad aap kitni baar aayi hai hamare kamre mei." She seized opportunity to target his weak mind. If you carefully listen to Patralekha's words, she so cleverly manipulates people. She will make you feel wanted but it is actually your downfall. It is pure vile and scary. Again I am not justifying this, what Virat did was abuse Sai when he locked her but will Virat in his right mind do that? He knows it was wrong. His ego and fat head that couldn't handle rejection will not accept that.

We all laughed when he fell down (I made a post just to laugh at him the whole day) but that badly executed fall knocked him out of senses. The guy who was so bull headed about not stopping Sai flipped because he never wanted her to leave in the first place. Even Samrat realised that while confronting him. That was the final nail in the coffin in her long list of rejection (I also agree that Virat did a terrible job of making his feelings known. He could never say it in spasht shabd).

I kind of diverted from the topic. But I am trying to understand what makers are trying to show from Virat's point of view.

You summarized it really well from Sai's perspective. There is a damage definitely. I am just waiting for him to show his comtempt publicly. He already loathes her is my opinion. Fake pregnancy track should knock some sense into him. because once after confession, the guy will be lalala land and imagine smooth road ahead only to find a boulder coming his way. ONly shock of that level, will do some magic.

I wish we could just say hes too gullible but hes not. He has figured out PPs motives but he still allows her leeway. Theres no explanation. Its just shoddy writing or virat is meant to be in 2 boats forever

For example virat clearly registered PPs intent in the hospital scene when she says i maybe only friend to you but you are special for me. Yet he chooses to lean on her for comfort rather than asking her to leave. So virat has definitely got a soft corner for pp or he is getting some boost/kick out of her attention.

Also if hes really all that gullible then he really shouldn't be an ACP. Hes definitely in the wrong profession.

Right now Virat's main issue is giving leeway - knowingly AND unknowingly to Patralekha that can be misconstrued in different ways by different people. He deserves a smack on his head or whatever that gives him a strong message that will pierce his skull to get into his brain.