Ashwini to Sai - Page 2

Originally posted by: Clois_semperanc

True I hated her emotional words to Sai at the hospital, the moment she entered she spoke about her son and his repentance. If she had any motherly instincts towards Sai, she wouldn't even bring up Virat in front of someone who just got into an accident. But her first instinct was to show Virat is not a bad guy instead of letting Sai decide for herself what she wants.

Another good instance of her being just a MIL over mother, perfectly put.

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

No she is not a good mother, yes a mother-in-law for sure.. When she conveniently calls Virat throwing Sai out late at night , denying food as "AN-BAN" she is not being a mother to Sai..

How I see Ashwini is, she want to show it to Ninad and all men and women in the house, How Virat is different from his father, how he respects his marriage, his wife and loves her , treats her unlike how she has been treated all her life..SHe sees herself in Sai(all alone between these buffoons) and she believes her blood in Virat will not let him abandon her, disrespect her the way she has been..Everytime he fails as a husband, she reprimands him not as a mother to Sai, but as a wife of the man who treated her wrongly all her life, as the son of that man.. She does not want this relationship to fail..She does not want her son who she has raised with her values and not his father's values in dealing with relationships, to fail.

Very interesting take! ❤️Ashwini does seem to 'boast' about Virat to the Chavan clan - how he is different from his father! Everytime Virat makes a mistake, she sees it as her failure - not just as a mother but as a person who lost the chance to be vindicated. And she does seem to live vicariously through Sai.

She has internalised and normalised a lot of the patriarchal system she was victim of. Perhaps after all the kaands Virat does, she still overlooks it - that he is better than other Chavans (read Ninad) - Virat atleast realises his mistake? Living amongst Chvan men has made her overestimate her son.

After the Ajinkya kaand, at the hospital, she laments how she used to believe that Virat was a good husband (amnesia about Virat's kaands) but he turned to be worse than Ninad. So she also definitely goes into denial.

Or does she feel helpless to take Virat to task? She is weak - she has lived a subdued life - like a doormat.

May be it's mixture of different emotions?

@bold That was such a problematic statement 😵

She is definitely not Sai's mother - she genuinely cares about her. She has good values is impartial enough to know that justice lies with Sai '- whenever Virat does a kaand. But she still wants Sai to be his wife - because her son's marriage is more important for her. Sai's mother would have brought the house down, questioned Viera left and right, taken her away from CN - because Sai would have been her priority.

Originally posted by: Tapdance

Totally agree with this viewpoint, it's not that she's not a mother to Sai but her version of motherhood does not extend to letting Sai go when necessary; instead she tries to manipulate her to always save her marriage even when her son is at fault. Not that it is wrong but there have been points where a mother would simply ask her daughter to maintain self respect and keep a distance till that respect is given back to her.

The hand holding episode was the only one she stood up properly to a certain extent, again in the ousting episode she tried to feed her but it's bizarre that she didn't follow up on Sai's whereabouts after she left. No one did, which is something we would do even for a friend left off in such a situation.

She definitely should be given more SS and meaningful dialogues with actions if they want to show her presence as a mother in both their lives.

She does this maybe she has been brought up in an environment where girls have to nibhao the marriage .She herself held her marriage with Ninad coz of this

Agreed, she is a primary example of how much neglect and disrespect can hamper a woman's mind and existencial crisis if she depends on her husband and inlaws completely and they don't value her enough.

As a woman who has gone through abuse in the hands of her in-laws & husband she understands that staying in a relationship for the sanctity of it and staying in a relationship for the love and respect of it are two different points.

Here her DIL is trying to shake out of these shackles in a similar situation, her DIL wants to be independent, wants to be respected first if not loved.

A mother who has lived this life and hated these circumstances would push her daughter to a similar life or turn things around if possible by being rigid against abuse irrespective of who does it, even if it's her son?

She atleast needs to call it out constantly na, I'm not saying the character is at fault. I feel it's the writing that is indecisive like a pendulum clock between a Mother and MIL, ousting should have followed up with enquiring, following up about her as a mother. Not crying and prodding her son for it. A mother's heart would never leave her daughter unsheltered in that manner no matter what. Here is where the writing fails for Ashwini as a mother according to what I feel.

She needs to be think like a WOMAN first to empathise with Sai and empower her to stand up for herself. Sadly, her life experiences haven't taught her much. She wants Sai to compromise and adjust just so that she remains in her in-laws home, overlooking all the BS behaviour towards her. Ashwini is only her Godu's Aai and thereby a decent mother-in-law to Sai. I would not want a mother like her who asks her daughter to keep her self respect aside and put up with mental abuse.

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

No she is not a good mother, yes a mother-in-law for sure.. When she conveniently calls Virat throwing Sai out late at night , denying food as "AN-BAN" she is not being a mother to Sai..

How I see Ashwini is, she want to show it to Ninad and all men and women in the house, How Virat is different from his father, how he respects his marriage, his wife and loves her , treats her unlike how she has been treated all her life..SHe sees herself in Sai(all alone between these buffoons) and she believes her blood in Virat will not let him abandon her, disrespect her the way she has been..Everytime he fails as a husband, she reprimands him not as a mother to Sai, but as a wife of the man who treated her wrongly all her life, as the son of that man.. She does not want this relationship to fail..She does not want her son who she has raised with her values and not his father's values in dealing with relationships, to fail.

You are exactly correct about Aswini. She is a good and supportive mother in law to Sai but not a mother. Everytime Virat supports Sai she is happy that her son is not like Ninad. When Virat behaves badly she compares him with Ninad and feels bad that Virat has got certain traits of Ninad . But of course she loves Sai there is no doubt about it.

Originally posted by: Tapdance

Agreed, she is a primary example of how much neglect and disrespect can hamper a woman's mind and existencial crisis if she depends on her husband and inlaws completely and they don't value her enough.

As a woman who has gone through abuse in the hands of her in-laws & husband she understands that staying in a relationship for the sanctity of it and staying in a relationship for the love and respect of it are two different points.

Here her DIL is trying to shake out of these shackles in a similar situation, her DIL wants to be independent, wants to be respected first if not loved.

A mother who has lived this life and hated these circumstances would push her daughter to a similar life or turn things around if possible by being rigid against abuse irrespective of who does it, even if it's her son?

She atleast needs to call it out constantly na, I'm not saying the character is at fault. I feel it's the writing that is indecisive like a pendulum clock between a Mother and MIL, ousting should have followed up with enquiring, following up about her as a mother. Not crying and prodding her son for it. A mother's heart would never leave her daughter unsheltered in that manner no matter what. Here is where the writing fails for Ashwini as a mother according to what I feel.

Well ,its the regressive society in general which expects women to put up with shit. Also our ITV is so regressive that to get trp's they make the Fl go through abuse .

This happens when someone is completely dependent on another person for their emotional & financial needs !

Ashwini can't be a mother for Sai, as her link and bond is only because of Virat and she'll be his mother first. Sai will always come second to her, though it looks like she loves Sai more.

But she's definitely a good Mother in law. So basically, what are the qualities of a good MIL? One who likes her daughter in law, thinks for her welfare always, hopes she stays happy and healthy with her son lifelong, supports and takes her bahu's side when needed. Ashwini possess all these. So she's a good MIL, IMO

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

Very interesting take! ❤️Ashwini does seem to 'boast' about Virat to the Chavan clan - how he is different from his father! Everytime Virat makes a mistake, she sees it as her failure - not just as a mother but as a person who lost the chance to be vindicated. And she does seem to live vicariously through Sai.

She has internalised and normalised a lot of the patriarchal system she was victim of. Perhaps after all the kaands Virat does, she still overlooks it - that he is better than other Chavans (read Ninad) - Virat atleast realises his mistake? Living amongst Chvan men has made her overestimate her son.

After the Ajinkya kaand, at the hospital, she laments how she used to believe that Virat was a good husband (amnesia about Virat's kaands) but he turned to be worse than Ninad. So she also definitely goes into denial.

Or does she feel helpless to take Virat to task? She is weak - she has lived a subdued life - like a doormat.

May be it's mixture of different emotions?

@bold That was such a problematic statement 😵

She is definitely not Sai's mother - she genuinely cares about her. She has good values is impartial enough to know that justice lies with Sai '- whenever Virat does a kaand. But she still wants Sai to be his wife - because her son's marriage is more important for her. Sai's mother would have brought the house down, questioned Viera left and right, taken her away from CN - because Sai would have been her priority.

FOrget Sai..Patralekha Mohite Patil's parents would have sued Mr. IPS Chavhan and the whole family if she had to bear even 1/10th of what she has seen... Considering that I understood what she meant she talked about being loved.. This poor girl has to talk to a lifeless photo about her vulnerabilities and with no shoulder to lie upon..I was not able to see today's episode.. So heart wrenching..With limited knowledge about relationship, with so much confusion, she was questioning him and answering herself.. Here emotional breakdown has started and I dont know where will it take her ..

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

FOrget Sai..Patralekha Mohite Patil's parents would have sued Mr. IPS Chavhan and the whole family if she had to bear even 1/10th of what she has seen... Considering that I understood what she meant she talked about being loved.. This poor girl has to talk to a lifeless photo about her vulnerabilities and with no shoulder to lie upon..I was not able to see today's episode.. So heart wrenching..With limited knowledge about relationship, with so much confusion, she was questioning him and answering herself.. Here emotional breakdown has started and I dont know where will it take her ..

So true !

The fact that she has no backing ,no one to say if things go wrong ,I am always there !

I hope parents after seeing this scene reach out to their daughters to check if she ok & daughters can have guts to get up & talk to their parents