Originally posted by: nim_var
Lots has been said about the flip of the T's and their reaction/words.
Here is my take on it... I had written something in the daily update thread as well.
pasting below:
Families cannot accept if their child marries someone outside of their community and acceptance is hard to come by in many cases, the cultural differences being one, then comes the financial/oonch neech and all that... practically this happens in a family as there are long standing repercussions.
Society is changing but still has a long way to go.
T's reaction is true n in line with reality imo.
Imagine yourself as Apu and suddenly one day, your son introduces the girl who has been living in your house as a maid is called her bahu, saying he is married to her.. the shock that she received along with the others is huge... no way she can accept it at face value. Normally when the son gets married, all the naam, khoon, khandaan is looked at and then marriages are fixed. Even if the son is dating someone like Malini, they knew the family bg etc and approved of the shaadi, even tolerated all the insults etc from Anu as they are khandaani... etc.. I know that folks cannot digest this.. but trust me real life..aisa hi hai...
Next up, how come Apu forgot all that Imlie has done for them... she has not forgotten them but in light of what has just been revealed, the deception is a far bigger thing. She showered Imlie with affection and in return Imlie deceived her, that is all Apu can focus on right now. She is very hurt and in that hurt, she is lashing out at her son/bahu in pain, calling her names, that are difficult to hear.. but that is exactly how a person would react in real life.. they all know that Imlie does not have a father's name or know nothing about her bg, just that she is from a village.. they know she is intelligent n smart.. simple.. etc
This track I think is exposing the mentality of people in such situations.. dont know if you have all watched to sir with love on netflix *ing thilothama sharma... the scion of an industrialist/cosntruction magnate falls in love with his housekeeper who is a widow... interesting movie.. true depiction. The family can never accept the maid as the bahu even if she is not one to begin with, circumstances made them into one, for survival.
Imlie had nowhere to go, she was shunned in the village, Adi could not leave her at the hostel as that was a bad idea, where else to take her.. home... as what?? Now again people judge others based on looks/appearances... so they tagged Imlie as maid, she came form the village to earn n support her family.. this was the thinking of the T's.
At work, there is this saying, you are only as good as the last success. Next day, again we have to prove all over again as the previous good work has been wiped off. During reviews, all that is immaterial and only the latest feedback/issue comes to mind, especially if something went wrong, even if you are not directly responsible for what happened..
This is same with Apu, as long as Imlie was the maid, they are ok with things and will shower her with love.. when it affects them directly, then it is a diff issue, they are answerable to society n relatives.. we have seen that they are concerned about that.. Imlie is a 3rd person, easy to dismiss whereas Malini checks all the boxes on paper. She is accepted by society and has the pedigree too.
Unless we judge a person purely on their actions and not by naam, khoon, khandaan, this vicious cycle will keep repeating. That is what the makers want to show here I think.. change in the mentality of the Tripathis from denial to acceptance, the journey of Adilie together too.
Every society has the class structure, only it is not widely publicized. It can be subtle, but it is very much present even in the US... class, race, white privilege all exist here too. Just not widely discussed but for those who can spot it, Yes.. it exists. Money marries money only!
Wrote a very long essay... 😆
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