Finally sai speak up - Page 3

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

I believe he was in the delusion that Ashwini is happy ..and he held his father really high if you see the initial episodes. But recently he came to know she has been supressed. But then they dont let that character grow.. He has seen his mother being vocal about it...But then that just happens in one episode, thankfully Neil portrays the guilt or shock well so we know he is shocked. But next day we are back to pavilion with respect to his understanding of the abuse or the intensity of it... Ashwini has been a person who came from a poor family and accepted her fate and yet tried to keep her son and other children away from her miseries.. Adjusted and accepted becoming the second person in her husband's & son's life...However the son is a sweetheart and loves her a lot in general.. There is certainly a communication gap where both Ashwini and Virat have failed to understand each other in their quest of protecting each other from the truth, have not communicated much about their hurt.

Virat really likes to be in a bubble of big happy joint family so he lets things go till they can be evaded. The problem is he is not realising how venomous that family is towards his wife's mental health...

But I am sure he has not seen her breaking down the way she did in morning...if he was there he would not have let them go to that extent.. The only problem is he is not realising they have the tendency to go to that extent in his absence and Sai is breaking and she will not let him know as well..because it will come back to her the next day in his absence again...He might have to use his intelligence of understanding without any bias of belonging to that family. He believes Sai can handle and she does it quite many times, so he stays out of it. However does not realise that its affecting her mentally.

PS: My thoughts are all scattered here.. Havent watched the episode since Tuesday..Aslo I am in a hurry..Work calls 🤓 My writeup based on what I have seen before and also the WUs. I hope I made some sense here.

Very well expressed❤️.

@red I too was expecting a growth in Virat....that he will realise what his mother has gone through and take a strong stand in her support. When the progress didn't come, one is forced to ask - in reality do people change so easily? Witness a revelation, have a paradigm shift and suddenly act in ways that is completely opposite to how he/she has been conditioned to behave for 30 odd years? Something to ponder....To add to the complexity, Ashwini herself doesn't talk about her pain to Virat and he continues to be in ignorance.

@blue You are perfectly right about the Virat living inside the bubble of a happy family. But since his separation from Sai, I can sense a crack in the bubble. I think somwhere in his conciousness, he is beginning to realise the duplicity of his family and the honesty of his relationship with Sai. I can't pinpoint why I feel this way, but I believe this is the undercurrent the writers have been showing very subtly in the current tracks (I could be wrong). He may seem as cordial towards his family as before, but instinctively his heart has begun leaning towards Sai and away from his family. Ofcourse all this does not mean he will not abandon Sai to the attacks of the vultures when he is insecure - he most definitely will....until the time Sai and Virat establish a normal conjugal relationship.

@green Exactly. It is evident when he was dismissive of Sai feeling like living in charity as a taunt and his belief that Sai is strong enough to face her battles. Virat does know right from wrong but lacks sensitivity - probably due to being desensitized living in a toxic family. So although he does identify his family's lack of decency towards Sai, he doesn't really realise the implications it has on her emotional health. Same with Ashwini - yes he was shocked when she expressed her anguish being in the abusive house - but he hasn't really 'understood' the actual pain behind it. I really wish there is a scene of Ashwini having a heart-to-heart conversation with Virat - regarding her ascerbic marriage and the pain she suffered in the house.

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

I believe he was in the delusion that Ashwini is happy ..and he held his father really high if you see the initial episodes. But recently he came to know she has been supressed. But then they dont let that character grow.. He has seen his mother being vocal about it...But then that just happens in one episode, thankfully Neil portrays the guilt or shock well so we know he is shocked. But next day we are back to pavilion with respect to his understanding of the abuse or the intensity of it... Ashwini has been a person who came from a poor family and accepted her fate and yet tried to keep her son and other children away from her miseries.. Adjusted and accepted becoming the second person in her husband's & son's life...However the son is a sweetheart and loves her a lot in general.. There is certainly a communication gap where both Ashwini and Virat have failed to understand each other in their quest of protecting each other from the truth, have not communicated much about their hurt.

Virat really likes to be in a bubble of big happy joint family so he lets things go till they can be evaded. The problem is he is not realising how venomous that family is towards his wife's mental health...

But I am sure he has not seen her breaking down the way she did in morning...if he was there he would not have let them go to that extent.. The only problem is he is not realising they have the tendency to go to that extent in his absence and Sai is breaking and she will not let him know as well..because it will come back to her the next day in his absence again...He might have to use his intelligence of understanding without any bias of belonging to that family. He believes Sai can handle and she does it quite many times, so he stays out of it. However does not realise that its affecting her mentally.

PS: My thoughts are all scattered here.. Havent watched the episode since Tuesday..Aslo I am in a hurry..Work calls 🤓 My writeup based on what I have seen before and also the WUs. I hope I made some sense here.

@bold exactly

Also, I feel that Virat has an opinionated view of Sai. He knows her impulsiveness, her temper and I feel that he attributes that nature of hers many a times before coming to a conclusion. What I mean to say is that some issues are overlooked by him due to his judgemental attitude.

I had posted the below comment in one of the threads 2 weeks back may be.

The way I see it Virat has expectations from Sai since she is his wife. As I have said, he expects that Sai lets it go even if Pakhi does something. Also Sai asked her a question like "toh aap Virat sir par nazar rakthi hai". He knows Pakhi instigates Sai but I have always had a doubt if Virat is also being judgmental when it comes to Sai. Sometimes he tries to decipher it from Sai's expressions as what went wrong but when Sai retorts or give such strong comebacks, I guess he stops thinking who started it or who instigated. He only thinks that Sai would have lost her temper, Sai wouldn't have let it go, Sai would have fought with her.

This is exactly why I was very very upset with him during the Devi Harini skit episodes. Because I always had a doubt if Virat has such an opinion about Sai and if that is why he behaves in a certain way, it was proved that day. I really was very disappointed with him. He thought to himseld that Sai doesn't like Pakhi. Some felt that they didn't find that statement wrong but I did because it is this thought that stops him from empathising with Sai like how one should. It is this thought because of which he actually doesnt take a strong stand for Sai against Pakhi.

He knows and acknowledged during the Mohit's lunch issue that Pakhi is the one who starts all the problems. She is the one who pokes Sai. He knew that she always taunts Sai and doesn't behave with Sai like how she behaves with the rest of the family. Shouldn't Virat think that it is because of Pakhi that Sai actually reacts that way. Sai wouldn't dislike Pakhi, I would even now say that Sai actually doesn't dislike Pakhi, she is upset with Pakhi, disturbed with her, affected by her because of Pakhi's behavior towards her. She only has issues with Pakhi's behavior and actions towards her. She has issues with Pakhi interfering in her life and also the personal life between her and her husband Virat. I think you might know that there can be people who can be disturbed by actions of someone, they need not be disliking them. Virat is thinking it from a wrong direction. Had he thought that a girl like Sai wouldn't dislike anyone as such, he will be able to look at things from Sai's position.

The minute he thinks that Sai dislikes Pakhi, he will be made to think that many of Sai's actions are not just are results of Pakhi poking her or instigating her, it is also because of Sai disliking Pakhi.

Hence, when she spoke to Pakhi, he wouldn't have thought if Pakhi did anything really bad for Sai to speak that way. He would think that Sai lost her cool and in her anger spoke that way to Pakhi crossing all her limits with Pakhi.

As I have said, speaking anything bitter to another family member will only worsen things and that is the mindset Virat has and that is why he felt that his Aai knocks some sense into Sai as not to speak that way.

1. He is judgmental

2. His mindset that for family's peace, Sai shouldn't get into any kind of arguments or fights and should ignore it.

And at times like today when both of them are calm too, he is joking instead of trying to understand what has made her tell that food and shelter are her gifts. A few of us had a discussion in the EDT too where Nita had brought out that Virat had not paid attention even when Sai shared how her college mates make fun of her that she is married and she will have many responsibilities. This was on the day she danced at home and they were talking about her participating in the dance.

Even if it was wrong for him to have ignored it back then, now he loves her, he also has got a doubt that she too has feelings for him, he should be at a much better place now compared to the insecured Virat who was jealous of Aniket in that episode and yet, he didn't pay attention that she is having issues in his house.

Everyone have just a few issues with him. He should stand up for his wife when needed, should pay attention to what's happening around him, stay more alert, understand Sai's issues, acknowledge what his family members are doing to Sai as harassment and not some regular family issues and take the issues created by Pakhi more seriously especially when he has seen how much Pakhi hates Sai and what is actually Pakhi's problem with Sai, HIM.

He cannot take whatever is happening in his house any more lightly. He can stop Kaku by just raising his hands when he wants to stop Sai from leaving. From what I know, when Virat really wants, he gets it done. He should want it, he should take an initiative, take things seriously, only then he can put an end to all the atrocities in his house. He is avoiding a certain things, wants to keep in smooth, stays in his happy bubble, and also act biased when it comes to his family which becomes the main issue. As you have said, even if Ashwini has failed to divulge details or has tried to protect him, he has been watching how nasty they can get with Ashwini or Sai or even Mohit. It is time for him to act. He is a police officer for crying it out loud.

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

Very well expressed❤️.

@red I too was expecting a growth in Virat....that he will realise what his mother has gone through and take a strong stand in her support. When the progress didn't come, one is forced to ask - in reality do people change so easily? Witness a revelation, have a paradigm shift and suddenly act in ways that is completely opposite to how he/she has been conditioned to behave for 30 odd years? Something to ponder....To add to the complexity, Ashwini herself doesn't talk about her pain to Virat and he continues to be in ignorance.

@blue You are perfectly right about the Virat living inside the bubble of a happy family. But since his separation from Sai, I can sense a crack in the bubble. I think somwhere in his conciousness, he is beginning to realise the duplicity of his family and the honesty of his relationship with Sai. I can't pinpoint why I feel this way, but I believe this is the undercurrent the writers have been showing very subtly in the current tracks (I could be wrong). He may seem as cordial towards his family as before, but instinctively his heart has begun leaning towards Sai and away from his family. Ofcourse all this does not mean he will not abandon Sai to the attacks of the vultures when he is insecure - he most definitely will....until the time Sai and Virat establish a normal conjugal relationship.

@green Exactly. It is evident when he was dismissive of Sai feeling like living in charity as a taunt and his belief that Sai is strong enough to face her battles. Virat does know right from wrong but lacks sensitivity - probably due to being desensitized living in a toxic family. So although he does identify his family's lack of decency towards Sai, he doesn't really realise the implications it has on her emotional health. Same with Ashwini - yes he was shocked when she expressed her anguish being in the abusive house - but he hasn't really 'understood' the actual pain behind it. I really wish there is a scene of Ashwini having a heart-to-heart conversation with Virat - regarding her ascerbic marriage and the pain she suffered in the house.

@bold all it takes is someone to break and come out of it. Changes can be brought within a person in a day especially people like Virat who has good moral values or can never be brought in a person for years. It depends on the person who wants to, who has the willingness to, who strives to.

I know a few who are conditioned to live in a particular way, they break open themselves from the shell they live in when they know that they are wrong, when they do not agree with their family. It comes down to one main thing, do you still want to consider them as your family, continue to make compromises and live with them or call spade a spade, make your family know or realise what they are doing is wrong and fight only for what is right or fair. Family can be one's weakness and so it is for Virat too. He wants it to be a one big happy family and any compromise which is needed to make whether one likes it or not is okay for him. This okay and not okay for him should come from within him. He has gone to school, gone to college and then was on training and that too an IPS one, is working now. However toxic his family has been, whatever has been kept hidden from him, he has still overlooked many things that his family has been doing. He wants it this way so that they can lead a happy and peaceful life.

IF ONLY HE WANTS A CHANGE CAN HE BRING A CHANGE WITHIN HIMSELF TOO. EVERYTHING HAS TO BEGIN FROM US.

I was born and brought up in an orthodox family, there have been a few things I have not been happy with when it comes to the thoughts about general things like gender or practices and a few more things. I am always a person who lets go of things, adjust when needed without one having to force me but I would never compromise on some of my principles, would never compromise if someone is not being fair about a few things when it comes to others. Even if I adjust, I wouldn't let anyone anyone from my family circle to impose their thoughts on others, even if I won't protest to follow a certain things, I would stand up for others. In some, their courage can come out while fighting for others, not for themselves. It is like a test. One do have to stand up for themselves too but that is when they are being subjected to an unfair behavior.

It takes a lot of courage to stand up to your enemies, takes a lot more to stand up to your friends. This is something we watched it in a movie but something that many learn on their own. It is the will to fight or stand up against unfair practices that can push one to do it. If one gives up or resigns to the fact that is how things are going to be, even after 40 years people will like Virat will continue to be the same. It has to start sometime and it should always been him whether or not he was brought up in a toxic family, whether or not he was conditioned to live that way. I have seen people do it at a much younger age and that shows their courage and willingness to raise their voice, it shows that their conscience wouldn't let their family or upbringing overpower their sense of right and wrong.

Sai spoke up but unfortunately he had brushed it off in a humours way. I get where he is coming from. He has seen his mother is taking it all and enduring everything only to keep peace in the house. He thinks it's normal and Sai also should ignore it.

But it does not work out that way. Last time Sai lost it partly because of him. Infront him Sai was called by his Vahini /Ex "So called wife" and "Asked fees for taking care of her Husband " he just stood there like a mute spectator . It would look stupid for him getting involved in every single matter but it's necessary to speak up when it's important. Today I liked how shut all c gang with just few words. Sometimes he really should do that.

Originally posted by: laksh

@bold exactly

Also, I feel that Virat has an opinionated view of Sai. He knows her impulsiveness, her temper and I feel that he attributes that nature of hers many a times before coming to a conclusion. What I mean to say is that some issues are overlooked by him due to his judgemental attitude.

I had posted the below comment in one of the threads 2 weeks back may be.

The way I see it Virat has expectations from Sai since she is his wife. As I have said, he expects that Sai lets it go even if Pakhi does something. Also Sai asked her a question like "toh aap Virat sir par nazar rakthi hai". He knows Pakhi instigates Sai but I have always had a doubt if Virat is also being judgmental when it comes to Sai. Sometimes he tries to decipher it from Sai's expressions as what went wrong but when Sai retorts or give such strong comebacks, I guess he stops thinking who started it or who instigated. He only thinks that Sai would have lost her temper, Sai wouldn't have let it go, Sai would have fought with her.

This is exactly why I was very very upset with him during the Devi Harini skit episodes. Because I always had a doubt if Virat has such an opinion about Sai and if that is why he behaves in a certain way, it was proved that day. I really was very disappointed with him. He thought to himseld that Sai doesn't like Pakhi. Some felt that they didn't find that statement wrong but I did because it is this thought that stops him from empathising with Sai like how one should. It is this thought because of which he actually doesnt take a strong stand for Sai against Pakhi.

He knows and acknowledged during the Mohit's lunch issue that Pakhi is the one who starts all the problems. She is the one who pokes Sai. He knew that she always taunts Sai and doesn't behave with Sai like how she behaves with the rest of the family. Shouldn't Virat think that it is because of Pakhi that Sai actually reacts that way. Sai wouldn't dislike Pakhi, I would even now say that Sai actually doesn't dislike Pakhi, she is upset with Pakhi, disturbed with her, affected by her because of Pakhi's behavior towards her. She only has issues with Pakhi's behavior and actions towards her. She has issues with Pakhi interfering in her life and also the personal life between her and her husband Virat. I think you might know that there can be people who can be disturbed by actions of someone, they need not be disliking them. Virat is thinking it from a wrong direction. Had he thought that a girl like Sai wouldn't dislike anyone as such, he will be able to look at things from Sai's position.

The minute he thinks that Sai dislikes Pakhi, he will be made to think that many of Sai's actions are not just are results of Pakhi poking her or instigating her, it is also because of Sai disliking Pakhi.

Hence, when she spoke to Pakhi, he wouldn't have thought if Pakhi did anything really bad for Sai to speak that way. He would think that Sai lost her cool and in her anger spoke that way to Pakhi crossing all her limits with Pakhi.

As I have said, speaking anything bitter to another family member will only worsen things and that is the mindset Virat has and that is why he felt that his Aai knocks some sense into Sai as not to speak that way.

1. He is judgmental

2. His mindset that for family's peace, Sai shouldn't get into any kind of arguments or fights and should ignore it.

And at times like today when both of them are calm too, he is joking instead of trying to understand what has made her tell that food and shelter are her gifts. A few of us had a discussion in the EDT too where Nita had brought out that Virat had not paid attention even when Sai shared how her college mates make fun of her that she is married and she will have many responsibilities. This was on the day she danced at home and they were talking about her participating in the dance.

Even if it was wrong for him to have ignored it back then, now he loves her, he also has got a doubt that she too has feelings for him, he should be at a much better place now compared to the insecured Virat who was jealous of Aniket in that episode and yet, he didn't pay attention that she is having issues in his house.

Everyone have just a few issues with him. He should stand up for his wife when needed, should pay attention to what's happening around him, stay more alert, understand Sai's issues, acknowledge what his family members are doing to Sai as harassment and not some regular family issues and take the issues created by Pakhi more seriously especially when he has seen how much Pakhi hates Sai and what is actually Pakhi's problem with Sai, HIM.

He cannot take whatever is happening in his house any more lightly. He can stop Kaku by just raising his hands when he wants to stop Sai from leaving. From what I know, when Virat really wants, he gets it done. He should want it, he should take an initiative, take things seriously, only then he can put an end to all the atrocities in his house. He is avoiding a certain things, wants to keep in smooth, stays in his happy bubble, and also act biased when it comes to his family which becomes the main issue. As you have said, even if Ashwini has failed to divulge details or has tried to protect him, he has been watching how nasty they can get with Ashwini or Sai or even Mohit. It is time for him to act. He is a police officer for crying it out loud.

Exactly.. You see he also I guess thinks that If Sai doesnt react , it would not extend. He in his mind attributes to both being equally involved in the argument. He might let go things , but for another person it could be a bit difficult. Also @ green, That is where I keep asking where is the character growth, if he has gathered that Patralekha instigates the fight.. Where is it when he knows Sai is suffering and has seen to be understanding about it.. He is a nice man, but complicated and a bit grey.. Grey where he wants Sai for himself and behaving in certain way at times..not always for sure..but at times...

Originally posted by: laksh

@bold exactly

Also, I feel that Virat has an opinionated view of Sai. He knows her impulsiveness, her temper and I feel that he attributes that nature of hers many a times before coming to a conclusion. What I mean to say is that some issues are overlooked by him due to his judgemental attitude.

I had posted the below comment in one of the threads 2 weeks back may be.

The way I see it Virat has expectations from Sai since she is his wife. As I have said, he expects that Sai lets it go even if Pakhi does something. Also Sai asked her a question like "toh aap Virat sir par nazar rakthi hai". He knows Pakhi instigates Sai but I have always had a doubt if Virat is also being judgmental when it comes to Sai. Sometimes he tries to decipher it from Sai's expressions as what went wrong but when Sai retorts or give such strong comebacks, I guess he stops thinking who started it or who instigated. He only thinks that Sai would have lost her temper, Sai wouldn't have let it go, Sai would have fought with her.

This is exactly why I was very very upset with him during the Devi Harini skit episodes. Because I always had a doubt if Virat has such an opinion about Sai and if that is why he behaves in a certain way, it was proved that day. I really was very disappointed with him. He thought to himseld that Sai doesn't like Pakhi. Some felt that they didn't find that statement wrong but I did because it is this thought that stops him from empathising with Sai like how one should. It is this thought because of which he actually doesnt take a strong stand for Sai against Pakhi.

He knows and acknowledged during the Mohit's lunch issue that Pakhi is the one who starts all the problems. She is the one who pokes Sai. He knew that she always taunts Sai and doesn't behave with Sai like how she behaves with the rest of the family. Shouldn't Virat think that it is because of Pakhi that Sai actually reacts that way. Sai wouldn't dislike Pakhi, I would even now say that Sai actually doesn't dislike Pakhi, she is upset with Pakhi, disturbed with her, affected by her because of Pakhi's behavior towards her. She only has issues with Pakhi's behavior and actions towards her. She has issues with Pakhi interfering in her life and also the personal life between her and her husband Virat. I think you might know that there can be people who can be disturbed by actions of someone, they need not be disliking them. Virat is thinking it from a wrong direction. Had he thought that a girl like Sai wouldn't dislike anyone as such, he will be able to look at things from Sai's position.

The minute he thinks that Sai dislikes Pakhi, he will be made to think that many of Sai's actions are not just are results of Pakhi poking her or instigating her, it is also because of Sai disliking Pakhi.

Hence, when she spoke to Pakhi, he wouldn't have thought if Pakhi did anything really bad for Sai to speak that way. He would think that Sai lost her cool and in her anger spoke that way to Pakhi crossing all her limits with Pakhi.

As I have said, speaking anything bitter to another family member will only worsen things and that is the mindset Virat has and that is why he felt that his Aai knocks some sense into Sai as not to speak that way.

1. He is judgmental

2. His mindset that for family's peace, Sai shouldn't get into any kind of arguments or fights and should ignore it.

And at times like today when both of them are calm too, he is joking instead of trying to understand what has made her tell that food and shelter are her gifts. A few of us had a discussion in the EDT too where Nita had brought out that Virat had not paid attention even when Sai shared how her college mates make fun of her that she is married and she will have many responsibilities. This was on the day she danced at home and they were talking about her participating in the dance.

Even if it was wrong for him to have ignored it back then, now he loves her, he also has got a doubt that she too has feelings for him, he should be at a much better place now compared to the insecured Virat who was jealous of Aniket in that episode and yet, he didn't pay attention that she is having issues in his house.

Everyone have just a few issues with him. He should stand up for his wife when needed, should pay attention to what's happening around him, stay more alert, understand Sai's issues, acknowledge what his family members are doing to Sai as harassment and not some regular family issues and take the issues created by Pakhi more seriously especially when he has seen how much Pakhi hates Sai and what is actually Pakhi's problem with Sai, HIM.

He cannot take whatever is happening in his house any more lightly. He can stop Kaku by just raising his hands when he wants to stop Sai from leaving. From what I know, when Virat really wants, he gets it done. He should want it, he should take an initiative, take things seriously, only then he can put an end to all the atrocities in his house. He is avoiding a certain things, wants to keep in smooth, stays in his happy bubble, and also act biased when it comes to his family which becomes the main issue. As you have said, even if Ashwini has failed to divulge details or has tried to protect him, he has been watching how nasty they can get with Ashwini or Sai or even Mohit. It is time for him to act. He is a police officer for crying it out loud.

This is excellent. Read this

Yeah.

Kab tak will we keep excusing Virat saying orthodox upbringing, unaware of the happenings etc. He can’t get a free pass. 220+ episodes hogay.!

So its definitely tricky to be in Virats shoes.

Because until recently he didnt really see the duplicity, desperation, deviousness of pp n bk gang. He had given them all a long rope because they were his family, he gave them all a benefit of doubt n number of times. He accounted for the fact that Sai also may escalate things due to her attitude. But now gradually he is leaning towards Sai in a way that Sai is his priority. Everyone else comes after her. He still has his core personality intact and doesn't overtly confront pp etc but you can see a shift in his attitude. Especially now when he feels Sai's concern and realizes that Sai has a lot of unsaid, unexplored feelings for him.

Today I was SO glad that he provided vocal support in many ways- some that were not even "required"by but he did it anyway. Firstly he clarified about the saree gift and accepting blame because Sai did ask about if family would feel bad and he is seeing first hand how pp and his family blow everything out of proportion, and he told them exactly whay Sai did- the reason she took a gift is because she was raised to never visit someone empty-handed. secondly and more importantly there were 2 subtle but powerful statements he makes- "Sai tumse umr me choti hai but she handled this matter very sensibly" which was an indirect dig at pp for her tantrum. And then when he said kyin nahi pata hoga,pp. Voh meri biwi aur mujhe samajhti hai. That was showing pp that Sai is closest to him.

Those 2 statements demonstrate to everyone that he is firmly on Sai's side. It was those 2 statements that reassure Sai of her haq and place in his life and show pp that he has had enough of her BS- its actually much more meaningful than the clarification about saree gift.

And the best part is this time his outright vocal praise/support for Sai comes even when things are relatively calm and not in the middle of the screaming match. So in a way he has made these 2 remarks even though he need not have said anything. Thats why its so impactful.

This is exactly the kind of Virat I wanted to see

My only hope is that this Virat doesn't become a pendulum again.

Because tbh, Virat has fought and taken a stand for Sai many times. But most of them have come in dire situations. Like about her right to education, chilli grinding, her right to stay with him in his house after hospital discharge, when she didn't come back from GC but Virar understood her need for time/space, when she was questioned for being on mohits side during food denial and shivanis side during her character assassination. At all these points he took very vocal stands for Sai but he let many of the smaller things slide because he had to pick and choose battles.

Unfortunately he gave too much leeway to pp..especially with regard to how she barged into their room, disrespected Sai, etc. He probably never registered how much those little inactions were perceived by Sai. And maybe now he is finally seeing the damage so he is trying to be more firm with pp and set boundaries.

In between at some point on the show, he became a mute spectator for far too long which gave pp too much room to interfere.

Sometimes he needs to get over his politeness/formality and not let the small things slide and just speak out loud. Nipping things in the bud can prevent a lot of drama. Also Virats comebacks are often subtle, soft spoken yet super savage and often no one questions him. They may "taunt" bit no one will go against it. Like they taunt Sai about her studyingball the time but no one will actually prevent it actively anymore because they know they will have to face Virat if they do. So Virat needs to continue to speak up even when sometimes its not an absolute must.

There are several barriers to Virat being vocal in his support despite knowing right vs wrong and having his heart in the right place.

1. Lack of consistency from writers🙈

2. Sai's foot in mouth nature sometimes- she can cross the line in her gussa which makes it difficult to fully defend her.

3. Virats inherent difficulty in believing just how low the family and pp can stoop.

4. Virat sometimes not being around due to his work for the high points/beginning of the argument. He often enters in the middle not knowing the full context of things.

5. The family themselves being slightly toned down in front of Virat compared to their behavior with Sai in his absence. Although there have been enough instances where they have crossed the line even in his presence.

6. His conditioning and upbringing- he is a pacifier, a people pleaser, diplomatic- so sometimes he doesn't take a side and tries to please all.

7. Ashwini shielding him from certain harsh truths- so while credit to virats goodness and righteousness goes to ashwini but unfortunately in a sense she is responsible for his "expectations" too. Ashwini never fought for herself, never displayed her pain at how badly ninad n bk treat her, made it ok to "sacrifice" ones happiness for the sake of family, compromise/adjust , repeatedly reinforcing this idea of "respect" for elders even when they are wrong. So Virat never understood the gravity of " abuse" that Ashwini faced and what Sai now faces.

8. A sense of "mard,"needs to be away from "kitchen politics" both on Sai and Virats part.

9. Sai can handle n speak up for herself.

So virat is combating a lot of factors.

But having said that i do WANT to see more episodes like today where he usedvsmall chances to show everyone who his prioritiy is.

Originally posted by: Niranjan256

Yeah.

Kab tak will we keep excusing Virat saying orthodox upbringing, unaware of the happenings etc. He can’t get a free pass. 220+ episodes hogay.!

His upbringing and family can make us look at where a few things are coming from. It can help us to extend understanding towards some of his behavior but cannot always be the reason for his failure as a son or as a husband during many instances. It is never too late to change. His family is his weakness and one can see him acting biased many a times. Atleast Sai's presence in his life or his feelings for her should have brought in a few changes in him.

Again, only he has to bring in the change within himself. He chooses when to react and when not to. He definitely has to pay more attention towards what's happening in his house and how much all this affects Sai.

@laksh I agree completely with you on how change happens only when one wants it from within. But statistically speaking, how many actually change? This is a purely philosophical question. And I ask that question with complete detachment. From what I've seen of life, most people who come from toxic, dysfunctional families either do not change at all or take an enormous amount of time to change. Infact, from what I've personally seen, I would say the odds are 90:10. (I'm talking purely about people from toxic families...if the family is reasonable, many people do manage to break away from the dogmatic beliefs of their families).

There may be a lot of factors why this statistics is so skewed especially in Indian society....the tremendous influence of the indian family, male entitlement, patriarchy, lack of awareness, lack of avenues for help. It's too complex. Very few manage to break out of the toxicity and take personal responsibility, others just develop unhealthy ways to cope and it affects their relationships. Some of these people atleast change when cornered, some not even then. Some change slowly over 30, 40 years. Most of the times, the spouses suffer the most. As depressing as it sounds, this is the reality. A few senior members in the forum have pointed out the same - people rarely change!

In this sense, the show is actually pretty realistic. It holds a mirror to the society the way it is - no frills. I try to understand (out of curiosity) how the writer is trying to bring about the change we are looking for in Virat. What is ridiculous is the sometimes over romanticization of SaiRat (we need to take it with a pinch of salt) as also the loud, crass zillat drama. Sai has been too tolerant and understanding of Virat's shortcomings. She should not be - it is costing her mental peace. This may break the relationship, but so be it. I'm actually curious as to why Sai is staying on - the most dreaded answer will be that in her innocence she has come to value a relationship that may not have a happy ending. Which is also why I'm super pissed at the suicide plot - if someone has to give up her life in order for the spouse to understand something, the relationship is not worth it.

I often try to look at Virat's upbringing when I analyse him - to see him at the recieving end of 'silent' abuse himself - to give context (not justification) to why he is the way he is. Without it, his actions are very difficult to understand. It is definitely possible that my interpretation of him is completely off.

I don't know is if I've managed to convey what I wanted to say....it was too difficult to articulate.

Tagging people who might give their opinions....