Episode Spoiler - 22 June 2021 - Page 16

Originally posted by: inlieu

@bold... this...

Raghav's impulsive nature is what will make him keep doing this with Pallavi and others. It will take Pallavi to be really really hurt about his words before he pauses. We know he can be tactful when he needs to be, when he's cool-headed but when he gets all worked up, forget it.

@blue, this would be fine too, so long as he's doing it because he understand the effect of his words and not because he just wants to pacify her or something.

I do want to see this happen. Pallavi has brushed off so many comments, uska bhi sehne ka limit hit hone waala hoga. It all adds up- comments about her appearance, her class, her work, insensitive stuff about Mandaar, everything said over the course of the SunKi fiasco. Kab tak maaf karegi??

Originally posted by: inlieu

Again, I think we're all saying similar things. He's accepted the marriage, the bond itself, but not gone into the depths of what a marriage, a true partnership really means, what sharing means. He will have to learn how to do that because he's been a lone wolf all these years.

Pallavi was the second option after his alter ego failed to show up. What does that tell you? That when he has to make decisions, he consults 'himself' first.

We did say when he got married that having 3 ladies living with him will turn his world upside down, and here we are.

I want him to apologize only when he really gets it, with a resolve to be careful in future. Not interested in seeing him apologize and repeat the same mistakes. The point isn't him having a slip up, it's that he has to learn to watch his words when he's angry because he knows he says thing out of line. Haar baar maafi nahin milegi.

I think he realized he was wrong the minute he said it.. I do not think its because he doesnt understand the nuances of marriage, companionship or anything.. It was mean and uncalled for but that's just his personality is what I feel.. dismissing Farhad is also because of the same reason.. not that doesn't know Farhad's intentions are always to help him and give him the right advice which whenever he fails to take, he inevitably commits a blunder that he later regrets. But he will still shoot down his opinions in a dismissive and authoritative manner.. See, in my opinion, no marriage is perfect.. Its not like there is a timeline, that he will realize everything one fine day and will stop doing this mistakes because I know he will.. we all do.. we all have these moments when we say things we don't mean.. but if we realize it then apologizing doesn't make anyone any smaller.. it keeps things from building to a point where the other person is unable to take anymore and snaps and things get ugly. If we keep doing these things, then after a point we fail to realize when we start taking the other person for granted.. Same thing applies to Pallavi as well..

Originally posted by: MistyDawn

I think he realized he was wrong the minute he said it.. I do not think its because he doesnt understand the nuances of marriage, companionship or anything.. It was mean and uncalled for but that's just his personality is what I feel.. dismissing Farhad is also because of the same reason.. not that doesn't know Farhad's intentions are always to help him and give him the right advice which whenever he fails to take, he inevitably commits a blunder that he later regrets. But he will still shoot down his opinions in a dismissive and authoritative manner.. See, in my opinion, no marriage is perfect.. Its not like there is a timeline, that he will realize everything one fine day and will stop doing this mistakes because I know he will.. we all do.. we all have these moments when we say things we don't mean.. but if we realize it then apologizing doesn't make anyone any smaller.. it keeps things from building to a point where the other person is unable to take anymore and snaps and things get ugly. If we keep doing these things, then after a point we fail to realize when we start taking the other person for granted.. Same thing applies to Pallavi as well..

He did realize it, indeed. You could see the look in his eyes right away and when he saw Pallavi's reaction it confirmed that the comment had hurt her. Hence his attempts at brushing it off.

I'm not saying that he doesn't understand the nuances of what marriage means, but has he thought about what it means for him? Not sufficiently. He needs to realize that just getting married and going with the flow isn't going to work, especially after their entire set of interactions with one another was off the wrong foot from day to day.

I actually would prefer that he makes more of these mistakes and Pallavi reaches a breaking point where she lets it all out. That's the only way he'll learn.

And I agree, some people will keep making the same mistakes because of their nature. It's up to Raghav whether he resolves to work on them once and for all. Pallavi as we know, always appreciate his efforts so she would like it. If, however, he doesn't change his ways then it's up to her to decide whether to just accept it as a comprise and overlook it, or whether she takes a tougher stance and they clash over it every time until she has to do something drastic.

As for Pallavi, I think seeing Raghav repent and try to fix things for her has made her temporarily forget or push back in the recesses of her mind how obnoxious he can be. He's being nicer to her nowadays but his roughness isn't just going to vanish. They haven't been married very long and all this started off with his guilt in the first place. He made some tactical moves and they are where they are now. She will have to learn to deal with his personality. There's only so much is behavior will change, beyond that she'll have to accept him the way he is if she wants to live in peace. Same goes for him. I just don't want to see her having delusions of changing him because I don't want her to be disappointed or for him to lose the essence of Raghav Rao and turn into something else entirely. We've seen it too often on ITV, so writers please spare us all this.

As much as the current track and volanic eruptions are tough to watch, I'm glad this is coming out in the open during the initial stages of their marriage so they can get to know each other inside out and knowingly accept one another for life. No nasty surprises later, please. It feels so unrealistic when that happens.

Originally posted by: inlieu

He did realize it, indeed. You could see the look in his eyes right away and when he saw Pallavi's reaction it confirmed that the comment had hurt her. Hence his attempts at brushing it off.

I'm not saying that he doesn't understand the nuances of what marriage means, but has he thought about what it means for him? Not sufficiently. He needs to realize that just getting married and going with the flow isn't going to work, especially after their entire set of interactions with one another was off the wrong foot from day to day.

I actually would prefer that he makes more of these mistakes and Pallavi reaches a breaking point where she lets it all out. That's the only way he'll learn.

And I agree, some people will keep making the same mistakes because of their nature. It's up to Raghav whether he resolves to work on them once and for all. Pallavi as we know, always appreciate his efforts so she would like it. If, however, he doesn't change his ways then it's up to her to decide whether to just accept it as a comprise and overlook it, or whether she takes a tougher stance and they clash over it every time until she has to do something drastic.

As for Pallavi, I think seeing Raghav repent and try to fix things for her has made her temporarily forget or push back in the recesses of her mind how obnoxious he can be. He's being nicer to her nowadays but his roughness isn't just going to vanish. They haven't been married very long and all this started off with his guilt in the first place. He made some tactical moves and they are where they are now. She will have to learn to deal with his personality. There's only so much is behavior will change, beyond that she'll have to accept him the way he is if she wants to live in peace. Same goes for him. I just don't want to see her having delusions of changing him because I don't want her to be disappointed or for him to lose the essence of Raghav Rao and turn into something else entirely. We've seen it too often on ITV, so writers please spare us all this.

As much as the current track and volanic eruptions are tough to watch, I'm glad this is coming out in the open during the initial stages of their marriage so they can get to know each other inside out and knowingly accept one another for life. No nasty surprises later, please. It feels so unrealistic when that happens.

I agree mostly though I have a slightly different opinion on the matter..

@bold- this bit I don't agree with at all.. I am sure this is not in context with how and what he said yesterday. Because no one should have to learn to put up with that kinda behavior to be able to live in peace. I don't think Pallavi is trying to change him.. she vociferously defensed his pride and refused to let it take a hit when Vijay was trying to humiliate him.. She categorically told him not to yield beyond a limit infront of anyone.. She has understood him in ways no one else ever has and has accepted him just the way he is.. but on his part, he also has to learn to value that and translate it into his words and actions.. shooting his mouth off without caring about anyone's feelings is just not on and he does that repeatedly. Being a lil more watchful and being sensitive, is not gonna change or affect his essence at all.. this is for the people he cares about, his own family.. for the rest of the world he can choose to be whoever he wants.

Originally posted by: MistyDawn

I agree mostly though I have a slightly different opinion on the matter..

@bold- this bit I don't agree with at all.. I am sure this is not in context with how and what he said yesterday. Because no one should have to learn to put up with that kinda behavior to be able to live in peace. I don't think Pallavi is trying to change him.. she vociferously defensed his pride and refused to let it take a hit when Vijay was trying to humiliate him.. She categorically told him not to yield beyond a limit infront of anyone.. She has understood him in ways no one else ever has and has accepted him just the way he is.. but on his part, he also has to learn to value that and translate it into his words and actions.. shooting his mouth off without caring about anyone's feelings is just not on and he does that repeatedly. Being a lil more watchful and being sensitive, is not gonna change or affect his essence at all.. this is for the people he cares about, his own family.. for the rest of the world he can choose to be whoever he wants.

No it's not about what he said yesterday. As I mentioned elsewhere, he has to learn to watch his words and not take it for granted that she'll let it slide every time. Words can cause irreparable damage sometimes and there's only so much she can tolerate. I'd rather not see it get to stage where the wound is deep because she's hurt badly by his words. I'd prefer to see him realize that even smaller wounds, when accumulated, collectively cause a lot of hurt and he should avoid that.

What I meant was in general there are things about him like his roughness or impulsiveness that may never change and if she can truly accept that, and make peace with it, fine. If she can't then she'll have to find ways to deal with it, either by trying to show him the right way over and over (which is exhausting) or just choosing to ignore him after a point even if she doesn't like it. The reason she is able to accept him the way he is, is because she understands him so well and realizes there's no malice behind his actions.

Regarding her wanting to change him, I don't see current Pallavi doing it per se, but I have seen things go that direction enough times on ITV so it makes me wary. I so dread seeing her in mahaan FL mode. So far she hasn't gone there but who knows in future?