A Disconnect - Please discuss - Page 3

I do feel a disconnect now with Virat. I don't know, will it remain or will it lead to me stop watching the serial?? I have watched serials where the ML gets away with a lot of manhandling because of the chemistry of the leads. The FL 'understands' and accepts his faults. However, the ML also changes, or evolves eventually..and that makes it worth a watch.

IRL, such men don't change unless they get counselling!! So I don't bother to hold that 'reality' yardstick.

I do expect good dramatic scenes when such explosive tracks happen. Yesterday I wanted to stop Sai from talking and get Virat to talk! Standing in silence, with the pained expressions he always gives was not expected.

I would've liked him to give the cold shoulder to his family, not run after them. Even Sai! They butchered both Virat and Sai yesterday. It was like a ballon suddenly going flat!

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

You honestly I was never convinced with the theory that probably he is more attached, open and himself with Sai that's why the extreme reactions.. And even if its true, it looks even more dangerous for their relationship, since if you look at this way, when this family can get away with heinous crimes as these, with just a dusra chance , he would never move an eyelash for the insults that Sai goes through on a daily basis, that would probably be a norm. And top of that Sai when would make a mistake, would be punished severely.. And also an important point to note here is, he does not forgive Sai, he gets back to her when he is told/he gets to know he is wrong. So in case Sai actually commits a mistake , her punishment would be severe. While his ghar-wale get away with anything and everything. How problematic it would be if they get back within days to their old treating way of Sai and Ashwini.. I don't want to wait for the last episode to see them behave human.

I always attribute his behaviour towards Sai and his AAi, to him having a certain degree of authoritarian and patriarch belief system because of the environment he has grown in. He has seen to only be aggressive towards the women who are weaker w.r.t "him", have a weak background in his house. Both Aai and Sai fall in that category. I cannot let him get away with "oh he is closest to them" or "he takes them for granted because he loves them the most" excuse all the time. He has shown to be not even 1% close to the man he has been to Sai (when she commits mistake) towards his family. He believes that she is his woman and she would behave in a way he would want her to in some situations and he wants to hold that attitude infront of the family. And that is why the trigger from the family works for him. Take for instance the hand holding incident, he was looking at Sai as though she deserves that punishment for behaving in that manner and was in a way agreeing to Ninad. Even during Devkit wedding, he was angry surely angry with Sai , but he was not planning to oust her, it was only when he was triggered by his family in that direction he decided to do so.. It does not work like that where he has zero iota of responsibility as a police officer when the family commits a mistake and highest degree of that punishing attitude when its his wife, who he calls his family.. DOesnt work.. This is not the ML I signed up for.

Also for the ones who are going gaga over him stopping Ninad.. Well it was high time anyway and that is what every son/daughter should do for their mothers. He again has more responsibility and authority because he is an IPS officer. I believe the aggression there was not again not up to the mark for me. I have seen sons going mad on their father, for raising their hands on their mother.. I know sons who don't even acknowledge their father's presence for days ,because of how their mother are treated...And this man lets the four ghar ke bade treat his mother like a house help.. Even a house help gets more respect in general. It took him a lot of time to realise what his father and other do to his mother, even after it has been indirectly conveyed to him a lot many times by his mother...

I just cannot buy , "Oh he is soft by nature" when he treats PP and his family members with that attitude eveytime when they commit mistake and "Oh he is close to them more" when goes mad in aggression , loses basic mannerisms when its his mother and wife

To think that these three will get back to their usual highhandedness, looking down upon others and name call weaker women of the house, after committing such heinous crimes, is even more infuriating..😡

Originally posted by: scarlett22

I do feel a disconnect now with Virat. I don't know, will it remain or will it lead to me stop watching the serial?? I have watched serials where the ML gets away with a lot of manhandling because of the chemistry of the leads. The FL 'understands' and accepts his faults. However, the ML also changes, or evolves eventually..and that makes it worth a watch.

IRL, such men don't change unless they get counselling!! So I don't bother to hold that 'reality' yardstick.

I do expect good dramatic scenes when such explosive tracks happen. Yesterday I wanted to stop Sai from talking and get Virat to talk! Standing in silence, with the pained expressions he always gives was not expected.

I would've liked him to give the cold shoulder to his family, not run after them. Even Sai! They butchered both Virat and Sai yesterday. It was like a ballon suddenly going flat!

Exactly, most of the men have been shown to be atleast be a bit more respectful towards them and their family.. after falling in love...here it is all together a different thing 😵

Sai has been butchered.. I am not sure what is trying to do here..Promo had Virat Sai jaisa ban raha hai.. I believe Sai bhi Virat jaisi ban rahi hai.. And to me is so problematic..

I'm not sure if they can fix it.

I can even forget Virat not saying much in aai/sai matters because in aai case- he must have young, not in position to say much, aai herself may have kept him out of it. He had years of conditioning. So now he is finally seeing things. He is still in inertia. Ok..

Sai- he is confused about his own feelings. he is just coming to terms with how he is in love with Sai now and she is not just zimmedari. Sai doesn't need him to fight her battles but i agree that I'd like to see him get truly "angry" at how Sai is treated.

But in the matter of devi- harini both Sai n Virat are s letdown. It was very poorly written/directed.

On the one hand both called bk actions a gunaah n paap but then both are running after bk convincing her about birthday party.

Bk says she feels "sad" about devis state but not once did she show guilt and regret. She still thinks she did the right thing. And so do ninad, omi n pp. There is no reflection.

Aise logon ko Sairat convince kar rahe hai to participate in skit and birthday party!

Like seriously?!

This was not our Sai and Virat who are both righteous and steadfast in principles. Why not show this track after these criminals at least actually repent for their actions.

Virat's gentle firmness maybe ok for other situations but this was the time for volcanic Virat eruption. He is an ACP. Not once did he tell them- what you did was a CRIME. Its not that virat is not capable of showing gussa without too many words/dialogues. So why so much restraint now. Even when stopping ninad from raising hand on Ashwini there was far roo much restraint. Even in his eyes/body language there was too much restraint. Not enough aakrosh. Contrast this to scene where Sai tells Virat he is making a mockery of the word friendship with pp. He turns around with such force, he looks fierce. So why is there none of that fierceness now. Is it just an off day ...but these are really important scenes. If actor is having off day, its directors responsibility to make that scene impactful.

Sai also makes no sense. She has Virats support now unlike before where it was just her. So why isnt she using the opportunity to take a strong stand. She should have strongly rebuked pp when she was interfering. Why is she "requesting" pp . Pp is justifying crimes and Sai is letting her. Sai also lacked conviction in her voice when she listed every fault committed by bk gang. She lacked the usual Sai power which forces people to reflect on their actions and shut up. She could have given a nice emotional cum strong spiel on the gravity of their actions, how she has seen devi's yearning and suffering and she knows the pain of growing up without a mother....

Here is the seriousness of the situation-

It has just been revealed that a baby lost her parents , grew up an orphan thanks to bk gang actions. Today she is safe but dislikes her own mother coz she is mentally ill and the child cannot accept that. Today devi has her family but she is mentally unwell. She suffered 10 years. Its not a small matter. There cant be any hum Saath saath hai until these people actually reflect, repent and apologize.

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

You know honestly I was never convinced with the theory that probably he is more attached, open and himself with Sai that's why the extreme reactions.. And even if its true, it looks even more dangerous for their relationship, since if you look at this way, when this family can get away with heinous crimes as these, with just a dusra chance , he would never move an eyelash for the insults that Sai goes through on a daily basis, that would probably be a norm. And top of that Sai when would make a mistake, would be punished severely.. And also an important point to note here is, he does not forgive Sai, he gets back to her when he is told/he gets to know he is wrong. So in case Sai actually commits a mistake , her punishment would be severe. While his ghar-wale get away with anything and everything. How problematic it would be if they get back within days to their old treating way of Sai and Ashwini.. I don't want to wait for the last episode to see them behave human.

I always attribute his behaviour towards Sai and his AAi, to him having a certain degree of authoritarian and patriarch belief system because of the environment he has grown in. He has seen to only be aggressive towards the women who are weaker w.r.t "him", have a weak background in his house. Both Aai and Sai fall in that category. I cannot let him get away with "oh he is closest to them" or "he takes them for granted because he loves them the most" excuse all the time. He has shown to be not even 1% close to the man he has been to Sai (when she commits mistake) towards his family. He believes that she is his woman and she would behave in a way he would want her to in some situations and he wants to hold that attitude infront of the family. And that is why the trigger from the family works for him. Take for instance the hand holding incident, he was looking at Sai as though she deserves that punishment for behaving in that manner and was in a way agreeing to Ninad. Even during Devkit wedding, he was angry surely angry with Sai , but he was not planning to oust her, it was only when he was triggered by his family in that direction he decided to do so.. It does not work like that where he has zero iota of responsibility as a police officer when the family commits a mistake and highest degree of that punishing attitude when its his wife, who he calls his family.. DOesnt work.. This is not the ML I signed up for.

Also for the ones who are going gaga over him stopping Ninad.. Well it was high time anyway and that is what every son/daughter should do for their mothers. He again has more responsibility and authority because he is an IPS officer. I believe the aggression there was not again not up to the mark for me. I have seen sons going mad on their father, for raising their hands on their mother.. I know sons who don't even acknowledge their father's presence for days ,because of how their mother are treated...And this man lets the four ghar ke bade treat his mother like a house help.. Even a house help gets more respect in general. It took him a lot of time to realise what his father and other do to his mother, even after it has been indirectly conveyed to him a lot many times by his mother...

I just cannot buy , "Oh he is soft by nature" when he treats PP and his family members with that attitude eveytime when they commit mistake and "Oh he is close to them more" when goes mad in aggression , loses basic mannerisms when its his mother and wife

To think that these three will get back to their usual highhandedness, looking down upon others and name call weaker women of the house, after committing such heinous crimes, is even more infuriating..😡

No, no....his aggressive behaviour and domestic abuse has got nothing to do with the fact he is closer to Sai. That sounds so wrong. This behaviour is totally a result of his internalised toxic masculinity and patriarchy.

What I said relates to his emotions. With his ghar-ke-bade, he is always trying to please, be in their good books even at the cost of suppressing his emotions and letting go of self-interest. With Sai, he is not playing this kind of a charade - he feels real emotions (both good and bad). It is more a testament to the character of the women - who don't manipulate or control him. I prefer to call this realtionship real rather than love. How he reacts to these emotions is another thing altogether.

As you rightly pointed out, during both PD lunch and DevKit wedding, while he is overwhelmed by strong emotions, his response to these emotions - allowing himself to be instigated by the elders and feeling entitled to punish Sai is totally a result of his ingrained toxicity and patriarchy. His emotions, though a pre-cursor to its expression cannot be used to explain his response/behaviour. While these were inhuman acts, there are other instances too when his reactions reek of patriarchy (although of less severity).

Even I'm not sure if his thanda response to Pakhi is a result of his 'soft' nature - I think it has got more to do with maintaining the decorum and status quo of the house order. He knows that Pakhi will play victim and threaten to leave, so he is going soft on her. In doing so, he is being insensitive to Sai. With his elders, he is too weak to make a stand. So I don't agree that he is being considerate because he is soft natured - he is simply too weak.

Again all this analysis comes to nought with his pathetic response during the latest episode. Obviously anybody will question why he was so forgiving of his elders who had committed such a heinous crime when he was so ready to behave inhumanly with Sai who was innocent. Which is why the episode has totally destroyed Virat's characterization. It makes him look like a shallow, hypocritical man.

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

No, no....his aggressive behaviour and domestic abuse has got nothing to do with the fact he is closer to Sai. That sounds so wrong. This behaviour is totally a result of his internalised toxic masculinity and patriarchy.

What I said relates to his emotions. With his ghar-ke-bade, he is always trying to please, be in their good books even at the cost of suppressing his emotions and letting go of self-interest. With Sai, he is not playing this kind of a charade - he feels real emotions (both good and bad). It is more a testament to the character of the women - who don't manipulate or control him. I prefer to call this realtionship real rather than love. How he reacts to these emotions is another thing altogether.

As you rightly pointed out, during both PD lunch and DevKit wedding, while he is overwhelmed by strong emotions, his response to these emotions - allowing himself to be instigated by the elders and feeling entitled to punish Sai is totally a result of his ingrained toxicity and patriarchy. His emotions, though a pre-cursor to its expression cannot be used to explain his response/behaviour. While these were inhuman acts, there are other instances too when his reactions reek of patriarchy (although of less severity).

Even I'm not sure if his thanda response to Pakhi is a result of his 'soft' nature - I think it has got more to do with maintaining the decorum and status quo of the house order. He knows that Pakhi will play victim and threaten to leave, so he is going soft on her. In doing so, he is being insensitive to Sai. With his elders, he is too weak to make a stand. So I don't agree that he is being considerate because he is soft natured - he is simply too weak.

Again all this analysis comes to nought with his pathetic response during the latest episode. Obviously anybody will question why he was so forgiving of his elders who had committed such a heinous crime when he was so ready to behave inhumanly with Sai who was innocent. Which is why the episode has totally destroyed Virat's characterization. It makes him look like a shallow, hypocritical man.

Adding to that, he has never realized questioned his actions, till the time it was proved that she was innocent or told by others where he went wrong..Even after ousting Sai, when he was crying in the room, not once did he say what did I do.. He said, what did you made me do Sai..And that's where the problem lies. Usually victims are blamed by the assailant for making them do what they did.. I have issues with that thought process..

Like I said I dont understand his toned down reactions to the revelations that has happened.

Along with wanting to please the elders, he also wanted to show them probably that he exercises control over that relationship...He has never liked being told that Sai controls him or Sai is out of his control. And that trigger works for him in moments of difference between them.

Also if you notice, when Sai is not in picture, ist easy to feed his ears against her, to the extent where he kind of loses it all.. Be it alta incident, or the incident where Sai was being questioned for roaming outside, or when he comes back home after Devkit incident. However how much his mother tells him to tone down his anger and let Sai come to come to a conclusion, he decides her faith.😡

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

Adding to that, he has never realized questioned his actions, till the time it was proved that she was innocent or told by others where he went wrong..Even after ousting Sai, when he was crying in the room, not once did he say what did I do.. He said, what did you made me do Sai..And that's where the problem lies. Usually victims are blamed by the assailant for making them do what they did.. I have issues with that thought process..

I made a post sometime back on how Virat's redemption is not complete. I'm not too satisfied with his redemption arc. His repentance came only after Sai was proved right. There should have been introspection on his part - that irrespective of Sai being right or wrong, his behaviour was immoral and unacceptable. Before truth came out, he was totally immune to reason and was busy justifying himself.

Like I said I dont understand his toned down reactions to the revelations that has happened.

Along with wanting to please the elders, he also wanted to show them probably that he exercises control over that relationship...He has never liked being told that Sai controls him or Sai is out of his control. And that trigger works for him in moments of difference between them.

Also if you notice, when Sai is not in picture, ist easy to feed his ears against her, to the extent where he kind of loses it all.. Be it alta incident, or the incident where Sai was being questioned for roaming outside, or when he comes back home after Devkit incident. However how much his mother tells him to tone down his anger and let Sai come to come to a conclusion, he decides her faith.😡

IKR.... Virat's patriarchal mindset is off-putting. It makes it very difficult to relate to him. He is important as being one half of SaiRat - which was my point of interest. With the latest episode, even SaiRat doesn't seem to matter.

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

And Patriarchal thoughts also comes into picture, when he is quick to punish his own wife...but when it comes to his elder, his brother's wife he just believes in letting it go and play family family..Why is that , that when elders make mistake it has to be forgotten and elders to be respected.. I have issues with this soch and I am finding it difficult to accept that even Sai is shown to be taking that route... I cant watch this show anymore...😭