I read posts that I know I am not going to get upset with. Everyone can have their favourite character but there are people who support and criticise both the characters. So, not only know do I know who is a pro Sai or pro Virat, I also know people who are neutral. There are many people who have criticized both and I feel confident while reading their posts.
My policy is that if you think a post is going to upset you, don't even attempt to read it.
I used to be a silent reader for a very short while and I then create an user id to be able to participate in dicussions. I enjoyed sharing my views when I first joined.
That was a time when I had no clue as who are supporters of which character. But since I support/defend/criticize both the characters, I didn't find it that difficult when I had joined. People were and still are welcoming. Just like how I do, I know there are many who actually do ignore some posts when they know that it is best ignored.
In fact, if there are people whom we know well and we are not on the same page, we even refrain from commenting on each other's posts. I can feel an unsaid mutual understanding. So, it all depends on how we establish our communication with another forum member.
We all don't just discuss or debate, we all have fun, share our stories with each other, interact in various threads. Sometimes, there can be heated dicsussions but I think we can try to avoid those or speak being mindful of each other since they are another person and not a character whom we are talking to.
What I had mainly noticed was that the problem is when a character gets attacked in a very unreasonable way, their supporters really feel bad and they end up writing posts against another character or questioning another character. So, what I notice is that even when a person is okay with a character that they do not support, when someone attacks the character that they support in an unreasonable way, an aversion gets formed towards the other character. They start to find more faults with the character they don't support or they fail to accept a few qualities of the other character. I personally feel that they wouldn't criticise the other character so harsh if it was not for a few posts.
It goes in circles. Sometimes while criticizing a character, a person can tend to forget how it would come across to a reader, so intentionally or unintentionally the criticism becomes a more serious one and turns into a war at the end.
It happens for both the characters. One is not able to warm up with the character that they don't support due to severe and harsh comments on the character that they support. Just my observation.
My fundaa is simple, I believe in trying to understand the characters. I write analysis on both the characters. Try to address questions asked by someone or posted in some thread as a separate post if I feel that it has to reach a wider audience.
If one character is questioned a lot or is getting misunderstood a lot and if I am able to provide an explanation or if I can analyse, I try to write about that character so that people can try to understand from that character's point of view.
What I usually keep in mind is that my post should not create an imbalance in the forum, it should be of some help to understand a character.
I have a written a few posts criticizing the character too, but I feel the less it is the better. This is my personal opinion. Because, we anyway do it in one or the other thread, why open it as an individual post.
And even in the threads, we should stick the character and need not actually get personal.
I don't even know how it starts, usually it starts out of misunderstanding and it gets blown up. So when we know that a misunderstanding is getting created, try to clear it then and there and don't encourage any kind of arguments, just put an end to it. What happens is when one person starts to attack, another person defends, another person join one of them and start joking, then when they form groups and start to joke, it becomes more of a mocking session than discussion.
Best thing, if anyone does, remind them of the forum rules or just don't even respond when people gang up. It is not called running away, these are not even conflicts that are worth our time or energy. There are forum rules in place and forget rules, we just have to remember that we would be hurting another person, they are not fictional people.
Sometimes I don't even respond to a few tags or comments of my own friends so as to put an end to the upcoming arguments. If I read something and I feel that I need to respond to, I do, otherwise I skip.
Most important thing that we need is that it is a forum and many will have different views, we have to keep that in mind always.
Yes, people should try not to get too attached to a character, as every other change, it should start from within us.
One shouldn't generalise, should talk only about the characters in the discussion, nothing else. Attacking someone personally is against the forum rules too.
Edited by laksh - 4 years ago
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