A Letter to Patralekha

Dear Pakhi

I have so much to talk to you. Yes I'm calling you by your pet name because I want to form a certain bond with you before I proceed further.

Do you remember yourself. A girl, who used to go out, take care of her health, and had zeal for life. I still remember the innocence of your face when you told your parents that you were waiting for the love of your life to come. The words, "ek din mere saamne aayega..aur bas...kho jayega" but more than those words I remember the way you said it. That innocence and the hope, everything that reflected in your face back then, is just missing. You came across a guy and you fell in love. Promises were given and broken. I understand your pain. I understand your broken heart. But you, along with that man, took the decision of an innocent life on his behalf without him even being aware of it. Did you ever pause to think?

Yes, I do understand your pain. And I do understand your love too. I do understand how lonely you feel. You might have had a chance on love too had Samrat not left. Maybe you could have moved on. Maybe you would have separated. Who knows. But now, you are stuck. In a broken hope. In a broken promise. The man who once promised you his entire life is living his life with his wife in front of your eyes. You see him smiling, enjoying little moments of joy. And you are reminded of your loneliness all over again.The man who promised to be yours forever, proclaims love for his wife in front of you, sometimes with words, sometimes with actions. You must be suffering inside. You must be wanting to scream out loud.

That anger that hides the deep pain of the heart comes out in little amounts. Can you scream your pain out there? Can you tell everyone screaming the pain out of your heart? But your pain always comes out on form of anger. Your heart must be cursing you that you never let yourself cry and scream openly taking everything out and not keeping anything in. Did you ever pause to think?

The house that you live in, can you call it your home? Can you tell them how you feel? The way you could talk to your parents, can you do that here? Did you ever feel the need to be perfect in your home? Did you ever feel the need to impress anyone? Here you do. Did you ever pause to think?

You once had dreams and hopes. Where are they now? The dream that you are dreaming, is that yours? Do you really want to just impress others and not express yourself? Even if your Kaku is impressed, what will you gain? A few browny points? Then? Was this your dream Pakhi? Even if you manage to break Sai and Virat, what will you gain? He is not yours. Even if he becomes yours, won't you forever remain in the fear of losing him to Sai again, like you did? What are you chasing? That's a mirage Pakhi.

You spend your time doing things you don't want to, to impress people you don't really care about, for having peace that is in your heart. You just have to go get it. You are not shackled by anyone. The shackles you are in are your own making. No, I'm not absolving Virat of anything. But you have to forgive him even if he doesn't ask for an apology for the things he did. Forgiveness is not for the other person. It's for yourself. Forgive him. Not for him. For yourself. If you want to scream. Scream. If you want to slap him. Feel free. If you want to cry. Do it. Don't chase him.Only when you have forgiven him, will true acceptance come. Not only of his life. But also yours. Maybe then you will realise that your anger is directed towards people who don't deserve it. Did you ever pause to think?

You may not know what you need right now. Many times, we don't. When it happens, give yourself some time. Not only the questions will come up in your mind, you'll also get the answers you need.

That's all you need Pakhi. You need to give yourself some alone time. Some alone space. To reflect. To reflect on your life. To reflect on what happened to you. To grieve your loss. To reflect on your actions. Sometimes the jail we have put ourselves into seem too strong to break and we look around for a key. But the truth is, there's no key. Because the door has always been open.

Pause.

And Think.

~Cheeku ka beej

I want to tell her,

“Sometimes for our own sanity, we may need to accept the fact that certain people won’t let us into their circle or ever be ours. They won’t like us or accept us no matter what we do.

Take yourself out of the race and move from degrading yourself to respecting yourself.”

Originally posted by: idkwhattoput

I want to tell her,

“Sometimes for our own sanity, we may need to accept the fact that certain people won’t let us into their circle or ever be ours. They won’t like us or accept us no matter what we do.

Take yourself out of the race and move from degrading yourself to respecting yourself.”

Lovely post. So perfect.

But, I would like to add

Love is not about snatching, but it's all about giving. If you truly love someone, you too will be happy seeing the other person happy. You will never ever think bad about him/her. You will always pray for his/her well being. You can't force someone to love you. It just happens. And, I finally I would like to say 'If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's your's. And, if it doesn't it was'

Originally posted by: fatssrilanka

Lovely post. So perfect.

But, I would like to add

Love is not about snatching, but it's all about giving. If you truly love someone, you too will be happy seeing the other person happy. You will never ever think bad about him/her. You will always pray for his/her well being. You can't force someone to love you. It just happens. And, I finally I would like to say 'If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's your's. And, if it doesn't it was'

A beautiful one... 😍

A very good post! And well chosen arguments that she really needs to ponder on.

But.. love is a word i cannot associate with her here. If she really loved him, would she really want him to lead a lonely life, life if celibacy... just for the sake of their so called “lost love”. I can understand one being jealous, that’s natural and you have no control on that bit. But here she chooses to keep reminding him of the promise... to stay single forever. That’s not love.. thats being selfish and sadistic. Driving pleasure out of someone’s misery

Originally posted by: cheekukabeej

I know. But i think it's easier said than done. So I kind of understand her and her love both. But she has become too consumed in her own pain to think of right and wrong. That's why I want her to give herself some time away from everything and everyone. So that she can reflect on everything and then decide what she really wants in life and what she has turned out to be.

Yes, but unfortunately she doesn't want to let go and simply wants to hang on to someone who's not her's and has moved on.

Shristhi loved Cheeku's post❤️

I want to highlight one word, simple word, which helps us most of the time- Hope

I want her to have hope, not obsession which she is weaving as hope, that she will get Virat, Sai is temporary, she will be Badi mami's favourite, not all this. But just plain, simple hope. That someday, even she will be happy, and till that point, she should focus on keeping others happy but simple ways she could. Serving food with love instead of a motive is enough to spread and earn happiness. She will automatically be satisfied. She just needs to have positive hope .

Originally posted by: sherry_24

A very good post! And well chosen arguments that she really needs to ponder on.

But.. love is a word i cannot associate with her here. If she really loved him, would she really want him to lead a lonely life, life if celibacy... just for the sake of their so called “lost love”. I can understand one being jealous, that’s natural and you have no control on that bit. But here she chooses to keep reminding him of the promise... to stay single forever. That’s not love.. thats being selfish and sadistic. Driving pleasure out of someone’s misery