Originally posted by: Nja91
Then as the older more mature person, it would be best for virat to broach that subject and say something to her, be transparent. If he told her- I'm glad you got them married but i wish you had told me, it'll pave way for a more detailed conversation about what/why/how and I'm confident Sai will be apologetic about hurting him too. We were shown how miserable she felt hiding thing from virat, craving virats presence to be able to discuss everything with him n have him around during the kidnapping track. So like i said in a different post- we cant question line to line logic of the show coz it utterly LACKS one. So if go just by emotions, in that whole track Sai desperately wanted Virat around, she missed his wisdom/his calming presence, she did NOT want to do it alone, she was forced to do it in a hurry due to kidnapping/etc. If she had a choice she would have wanted to involve Virat. She does have realization of her mistakes. I do agree that it'd been nice if Sai had in GC alluded to this and said something like "I know you were hurt that i got devkit married secretly but i had some resons but unfortunately you didn't hear me out..." Or something to that effect.. but thats the script writers fault.
Also we had seen that Sai had every intention to apologize and explain everything calmly until Virat kicked her out. But virat has also been shown as not really wanting to look at the circumstances in the house that led to devkit separation, he was told that devi was wrongly medicated and thats why she is mentally ill and he didnt investigate it more, he has got complete amnesia about harini- he never asks about his neice....so jab aise major logical issues hai and they dont close the loop on such tracks then they never create an ambience for such Sairat conversations to actually take place..if they never raise the issue of devkit marriage in a way that allows for a conversation, it cant happen. Thats the makers problem.
With amey track, she may have expected appreciation but i dont think its fully wrong. She is doing things out of a place of genuine care for shivani, with good intentions. So before you reprimand her for her methods, its important to acknowledge that you do appreciate her intentions. Its the simplest rule of giving feedback- before you say what could've been done better you say what was done right. In amey incident Virat tried to do that. He had animatedly said "tumhaare ideas ache hai but sab sirf tumhaare dimaag mein hai or kisi ko samajh mein nahi aata ki tum kya aur kyun kar rahi ho isilye galat samajhte hai". If he had said that same sentence by making her sit down, holding her hands and in a calm voice, it would have resonated with Sai.
The way i see it, Sai is not gloating over being right. She is just proud that she could contribute to devkit happiness coz her devi tai deserves it. And her interference in getting devi family acceptance/respect/eventually maybe harini's acceptance too all comes from a place of pure love for Devi and wanting to fix things for her. She said "jab maine devi tai ki shaadi jitna mushkil kaam kiya hai, toh this rasam thing is a much smaller thing". It was just a simple comparison saying why to worry so much about a rasam when they have dealt with something much bigger like shaadi. The purpose was not to say "I DID IT" , "I am right", "I am awesome"...
In the latter half when she says you cant stop me, I'll do what i want, meri marzi- i do NOT think its meant to be taken at face value.it was said in a nok jhok moment.
The way the whole kicking out incident played out, most people in Sai's situation would not go apologize on their own even after the dust has settled...she made a mistake but Virat responded by treating her SO badly that she was shattered. On the other hand, if the subject was discussed in more detail, then we set up the discussion to allow for Sai to actually explain what happened and apologize for how she hid things from him but explain why it happened. I do not think Sai would refuse to take ownership for her mistakes but we see in the show that Virat does not want to dwell in any details. Even before devkit shaadi in shivratri he wasnt shown keen on looking at past, and now post shaadi n his own guilt over kicking Sai out- he really doesn't want to think about it at all.
I agree, you have listed a lot of right points and points that I usually think of Sai. This is the kind of benefit of doubt that I usually give for some of her actions. I am able to relate to many things that you had said.
@bold if that is true, I am happy. But if it isn't, it is something to worry about.
@green I am sorry but I disagree. Virat lost his cool that day which he shouldnt have I agree. But expecting that one would make her sit down all the time to explain things to her is not going to happen. That isn't how things always work in real life too. If the other person loses cool, she has to maintain her cool, if she loses cool, he has to maintain. We can't expect Virat to always explain things to her like that, he has done many times and sometimes even he can fail. He is just a human. His age cannot be a reason for all maturity to be expected from him alone. I am sorrry but I do not agree. That would only mean that there will always be too much of a burden on one spouse who is much elder than the other spouse. When we say, both are equal, it should be in all things. I understand that she is young, she need not be dealt with harshly all the time, can be handled patiently, should be explained or needs guidance, but we can't expect him to be patient with her all the times and especially when she raises her voice or crosses a line. If she doesn't, he shouldn't, but if she does, we can't expect that from Virat.
@blue I agree and I know that she wanted to apologise to him and he didn't even let her step inside the house and spoilt it all.
I also agree that no one else in her position would have been able to forgive him this soon or forget whatever happened. I am not sure if you have seen my posts where this is what I have been always telling as not to expect anything from her, even for months. I got disturbed by the way she spoke about it proudly and the way she has started the next rasams. I wouldn't have expected if she had helped Ashwini in kitchen or was busy in her studies or visited Devi. When she keeps talking about the marriage and how she got it done, it pricks me as how it is isnt dawning on her as how Virat was kept in dark when she had done all of that. It should have reminded her in some way and it didn't, which is something to worry about. There are people who don't even realise after someone points of their mistakes, I don't want Sai to develop any wrong attitude.
I don't deny she had her own reasons that she had considered before taking this step. At every step that she took, she wanted to let Virat know, even when she was recording Kakus gang, she wanted to pick Virat's call. All that is fine, but even at that time, I only felt that she shouldn't have done whatever be the reason.
@red I know and that is why I have mentioned that in my post too. He shouldn't be avoiding the topic due to his own guilt, he should express his hurt and what he felt that time too. She would have been made to look at how she had hurt him and she would have also got reminded that she herself was feeling guilty to be hiding it from him.
Edited by laksh - 4 years ago
