Is it something to only feel proud of? - Page 3

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https://twitter.com/kajal52525/status/1393862260716539909?s=21

Tg someone said it. It was worrisome ! The way sai proudly said that she got devi and pulkit married.

N yes . They have made his whole issue about "sai is right " , so when sai was proven right , all her actions were justified. Virat also needs to Inteospect ..I wanted.proper redemption from him and proper apology from sai but none of it happened. They brushed it away like it was a casual fight . I am not liking sai's overenthusiasm either . What is she so happy about? At first I thought she was trying to cheer up virat . But woh bhi ho gaya..he will recover soon.. he is not a heart patient jisko dukh nahi lagna chahiye.

Infact , if virat is to be kept stress free , devi pulkit must be kept away frm the family for sometime. It's a clear recipe for disaster..but thy r going ahead with it bec "sai kisi se nahi darti" . Virat warned her that family will insult them but she still went ahead , wo bhi keeping the invitation as a secret ! What the!

If pulkit brings harini and devi has a panic attack, everyone will have a chance to say "sai did this without any concern for her mental condition. Devi wasn't ready for it ". Matlab jaan ke sarr okhli mein daalna. Pehle wala kaand nai suljha here z another one.

Originally posted by: MuguetDScorpion

That's why I have mentioned a few times that the nok jhok scenes are fine but they need some serious discussions also. I wish both discussed how and why the wedding happened in a hurry. Either Sai explains why she did that or Virat himself tells het that she should have tried to talk to him before taking that step.

Also as much as I am liking the sweet romance and how comfy they are with each other, it also bothering me. Before she was ousted, they only had the holi sequence where both were intimate but before that even hand holding was awkward for them. So now that both just came out from a huge MU and that they are not much used to intimacy I sometimes fail to understand their comfort level. 😕

Bingo ! I expect a mature conversation..like the one they had when virat refused her dinner (when she was adamant to see pulkit at his house the first time ) . Sai isn't immature , but she needs guidance on how to be in this family .

N for God sake next time cut out this "I am going to leave this house " drama bec it will become a joke 😆 Now if she decides to stay in this toxic family, it should be an informed decision. She is still.not welcome and virat still can't take a stand for her. She is unwilling to change and so are they.

Originally posted by: _charu_

Bingo ! I expect a mature conversation..like the one they had when virat refused her dinner (when she was adamant to see pulkit at his house the first time ) . Sai isn't immature , but she needs guidance on how to be in this family .

N for God sake next time cut out this "I am going to leave this house " drama bec it will become a joke 😆 Now if she decides to stay in this toxic family, it should be an informed decision. She is still.not welcome and virat still can't take a stand for her. She is unwilling to change and so are they.

So true!!

Even when I was watching that scene as well, I felt that she was repeating it too many times with soo much pride in her voice. I am pretty disappointed that they are not recognizing Sai's flaws.

She has this mentality that she wants to do everything by herself. Like for example from thr beginning, wen jagtap said he kidnapped kamal sir, she without contacting any help went to save him and backfired, then saving pari from vittal when she was in safe house or even amay where she thought she eill do everything by herself. Even with amay, she was very cocky about everything going well. She was like I brought away here ans made him confess while u arrested him because of ur job. Even though its true, she could have said it in a different tone.

And last but not least, with devkit.She easily could have avoided all these drama if she waited for a day. Anyway virat said he would re investigate then he went for thr training. He would have started his re investigation the next day after holi. Then she could have done what she did after she left CN. She went to the college and confronted the guy who switched the papers. She could have told this to virat and they could have solved it easily in less than a day without her breaking her stupid promise to pulkit.

Sai wants to do everything individually while virat wants to work as a team. I get virat is guilty here but he needs to address the amount of hurt and betrayal he felt. He is just hoping this topic is buried as he doesn't want to encounter his guilt over and over. But its important to discuss as this is their main conflict that brings many fights in past, present and future.

I get this is indian drama so no expectation of logic but still.In that case, the expectation that they will work on their communication even after their love confession is a waste

Originally posted by: Nja91

Sai is not proud of hiding the facts from Virat, she is proud that she could help 2 people in love be together without the shackles of bk gang. She had to hide things due to circumstances (as harebrained as the plot was, we just have to take it!) She is not apologizing for it now because Virats acts of kicking her out unfortunately have overshadowed her mistakes so much that i honestly feel its become inconsequential. She did learn her lesson- we know that she 100% regrets that she hid things from him. Apologizing for ones mistakes is good practice but it does not mean that if one doesn't verbally say sorry, they dont feel apologetic about how things happened or havent learnt their lesson. Virat himself looks proud and happy that Sai got devkit married. When she said to CN peeps- bhul gaye, maine sab ke khilaaf jakar devi tai ki shaadi karvaai- virat himself gives her a proud look.

While Sai will still remain a little impulsive, stubborn and ziddi, her letting virat know of devkit lunch plan is a step in mutually planning something rather than doing it behind his back. Yes, she needed to convince him to agree to her plan but at the end of the day he did give in and eventually as evidenced by his reaction innthe end if the episode, he is excited about devkit rasam too. this time her potentially "dangerous" plan has Virats approval and isnt all solo like devkit shaadi or amey incident.

Sai does understand if things are explained correctly. Aai has cracked that. She has many reasons for being stubborn/independent/reckless in her attitude- shes a single child who had to raise herself in her dads absence. So her core personality is not going to change. But over time Sairat will understand n accept each others not so desirable traits too or learn to handle it.

Theres always gonna be room for better communication between Sairat or any couple for that matter. But i dont think that Sai hesitates to apologize to people or Virat specifically either. When she realizes her mistake, she repents, berates herself and tries to rectify it. Sometimes she has apologized in words and sometimes she has shown in her actions that she regrets her actions and wants to bury the hatchet and move on. In a spousal relationship, every single thing does not need to be verbalized, certain things are nonverbal communication too. She does not take him for granted but she does sonetimes take a few liberties with him coz she can afford to because he is her husband. Virat is the same way.He only blows his fuse with her. He doesn't lose his cool with anyone the way he does with Sai, why? Coz he can "afford" to. But in a spousal relationship these things happen. As long as they get past it and understand each others pov- thats all that matters in the overall scheme of things. This is not a competition of who said how many sorry's. Its a marriage, not mathematics , not an algebraic equation where LHS = RHS needs to be achieved!

Originally posted by: Gayathrirau

Even when I was watching that scene as well, I felt that she was repeating it too many times with soo much pride in her voice. I am pretty disappointed that they are not recognizing Sai's flaws.

She has this mentality that she wants to do everything by herself. Like for example from thr beginning, wen jagtap said he kidnapped kamal sir, she without contacting any help went to save him and backfired, then saving pari from vittal when she was in safe house or even amay where she thought she eill do everything by herself. Even with amay, she was very cocky about everything going well. She was like I brought away here ans made him confess while u arrested him because of ur job. Even though its true, she could have said it in a different tone.

And last but not least, with devkit.She easily could have avoided all these drama if she waited for a day. Anyway virat said he would re investigate then he went for thr training. He would have started his re investigation the next day after holi. Then she could have done what she did after she left CN. She went to the college and confronted the guy who switched the papers. She could have told this to virat and they could have solved it easily in less than a day without her breaking her stupid promise to pulkit.

Sai wants to do everything individually while virat wants to work as a team. I get virat is guilty here but he needs to address the amount of hurt and betrayal he felt. He is just hoping this topic is buried as he doesn't want to encounter his guilt over and over. But its important to discuss as this is their main conflict that brings many fights in past, present and future.

I get this is indian drama so no expectation of logic but still.In that case, the expectation that they will work on their communication even after their love confession is a waste

Bold: sorry. Misread communication as consummation🤣my mind is not dirty I promise (hopefully😆)

Originally posted by: laksh

@bold I agree and I have thought about it thos way too. But to be frank whether the apology has to be verbalized or not depends on the magnitude of the mistake too. Not all mistakes can be apologised through gestures. The liberty that she is taking is not always right, it has to be kept in check. The same is true for Virat too.

@green I am not saying she is proud of hiding the facts but her proud to have got them married is also wrong because the method was not right. The reason for her pride is because her Dad always might have been proud of ger actions. He also wouldn't have approved of her approach but would have let it go because of the love he had for her and would have only looked at the final result or what she has achieved.

This takes me back to the day when she told Virat on the day he had arrested Amay "agar mere aaba hote toh mete peet thapthapate". She didn't realise that even that day, she need not have done the way she had planned. That dialogue shows that she expects appreciation. Her end result is something one can look at and appreciate but when one looks at her approach, not all will approve of it. That same attitude is what she has carried today by feeling proud to have got them married without even realising that if not for the wedding, therw would have been no fight between her and Virat, forget ousting. Virat was wrong, I blame his shoddy iinvestigation and for him to have blindly believed Sai when he should have found about Pulkit himself. But what she did was also not something that she should consider as inconsequential. Not at all. One has to take ownership of their actions.

@blue yes, that's how it works, move past it. But to be able to truly move past it, both have to learn to respect each other, both have to take responsibility of their actions, both have to realise and accept their mistakes, both have to apologise whenever they go wrong.

One cannot assume that the other is okay with it, the other person could have let things go due to their magnanimity too, the other person could have let it go swallowing their own pride and ego too. The more and more this happens, when a person suppresses their emotions because one person thinks that the other person is or will be okay with it, it will burst one day, it will only affect their relationship.

This is not a small mistake for her to move past it. Virat can be happy for his Sister, with all the rasams planned, doesn't mean that Virat might have never felt that all these wouldn't have happened if she had told him or shared with him. And if Virat had never thought or felt, then it is an even more bigger reason for Sai to realise how magnanimous he is and that she should apologise on her own.

Nothing is an algebraic equation, it is all emotions, respecting the other person's emotions, never neglecting anything and when a person neglects their own mistakes, there can be nothing more bad than it.

Then as the older more mature person, it would be best for virat to broach that subject and say something to her, be transparent. If he told her- I'm glad you got them married but i wish you had told me, it'll pave way for a more detailed conversation about what/why/how and I'm confident Sai will be apologetic about hurting him too. We were shown how miserable she felt hiding thing from virat, craving virats presence to be able to discuss everything with him n have him around during the kidnapping track. So like i said in a different post- we cant question line to line logic of the show coz it utterly LACKS one. So if go just by emotions, in that whole track Sai desperately wanted Virat around, she missed his wisdom/his calming presence, she did NOT want to do it alone, she was forced to do it in a hurry due to kidnapping/etc. If she had a choice she would have wanted to involve Virat. She does have realization of her mistakes. I do agree that it'd been nice if Sai had in GC alluded to this and said something like "I know you were hurt that i got devkit married secretly but i had some resons but unfortunately you didn't hear me out..." Or something to that effect.. but thats the script writers fault.

Also we had seen that Sai had every intention to apologize and explain everything calmly until Virat kicked her out. But virat has also been shown as not really wanting to look at the circumstances in the house that led to devkit separation, he was told that devi was wrongly medicated and thats why she is mentally ill and he didnt investigate it more, he has got complete amnesia about harini- he never asks about his neice....so jab aise major logical issues hai and they dont close the loop on such tracks then they never create an ambience for such Sairat conversations to actually take place..if they never raise the issue of devkit marriage in a way that allows for a conversation, it cant happen. Thats the makers problem.

With amey track, she may have expected appreciation but i dont think its fully wrong. She is doing things out of a place of genuine care for shivani, with good intentions. So before you reprimand her for her methods, its important to acknowledge that you do appreciate her intentions. Its the simplest rule of giving feedback- before you say what could've been done better you say what was done right. In amey incident Virat tried to do that. He had animatedly said "tumhaare ideas ache hai but sab sirf tumhaare dimaag mein hai or kisi ko samajh mein nahi aata ki tum kya aur kyun kar rahi ho isilye galat samajhte hai". If he had said that same sentence by making her sit down, holding her hands and in a calm voice, it would have resonated with Sai.

The way i see it, Sai is not gloating over being right. She is just proud that she could contribute to devkit happiness coz her devi tai deserves it. And her interference in getting devi family acceptance/respect/eventually maybe harini's acceptance too all comes from a place of pure love for Devi and wanting to fix things for her. She said "jab maine devi tai ki shaadi jitna mushkil kaam kiya hai, toh this rasam thing is a much smaller thing". It was just a simple comparison saying why to worry so much about a rasam when they have dealt with something much bigger like shaadi. The purpose was not to say "I DID IT" , "I am right", "I am awesome"...

In the latter half when she says you cant stop me, I'll do what i want, meri marzi- i do NOT think its meant to be taken at face value.it was said in a nok jhok moment.

The way the whole kicking out incident played out, most people in Sai's situation would not go apologize on their own even after the dust has settled...she made a mistake but Virat responded by treating her SO badly that she was shattered. On the other hand, if the subject was discussed in more detail, then we set up the discussion to allow for Sai to actually explain what happened and apologize for how she hid things from him but explain why it happened. I do not think Sai would refuse to take ownership for her mistakes but we see in the show that Virat does not want to dwell in any details. Even before devkit shaadi in shivratri he wasnt shown keen on looking at past, and now post shaadi n his own guilt over kicking Sai out- he really doesn't want to think about it at all.

Originally posted by: Magnifique

Hmmm...interesting view. I didn't find it wrong as she was saying in the context she reunited two lovers.

The way I viewed it, she went against everyone and managed to bring back tai's happiness. The sense of achievement is surely there. As for not telling virat anything, virat only told he doesn't want to discuss that incident and since his behaviour eclipsed her by far, it feels insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

I found it as a progress from sai side as she discussed and is planning everything with him this time. I actually found the way she convinced him very couplish. She knows how to convince her husband and virat allowed her because sai has the upper hand this one time.

@bold hmm, I am sorry I would have agreed if what she had done was reall an insignificant one. None of her actions can be a reason for him to have ousted her from the house. But her action was the reason for the issue in first place until the point where he stopped her from entering the house. I hated that he didn't even let her step in. But I am also not happy that she thinks it is not something that she should apologise for today.

I don't even agree with him telling don't discuss about it. If he is apologetic, I don't expect him to have ask her not to bring it up, let him face it even if she brings it up because it is not something that she can forget easily or one should ignore. I will be writing a post on this too today.

I agree that it was a couplish way of convincing him but it wasn't necessary from my pov. I don't agrew with that either, especially the timing. Inhad written a post as why would have Sai thought of inviting Devi home. That is fine but just not the timing. He himself has just returned from the hospital after a gun shot and that too in the chest, she need not have hurried it up whatever be the reason. Virat would have got happy, it should be her who should think about his health. Just my view.

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

I have said long back in one of your posts that I have serious issues with Sai's I know it all attitude and if she gets her way even through the wrong means...She thinks oh see like always I am as right again..Virat has been proven wrong in this track and she right and that helps her to gloat about being right yet again and since Virat is right now guilty for both hurting Sai and also not being the one to understand Devi Tai and her plights she won't be stopped much.. So when she comes up with such counter statements , maine karwayi thi na shaadi, it appears really problematic and toxic for the relationship. Virat would not be able to explain her things that she needs to understand. If you remember , I had said if she keeps succeeding and not feeling the repercussions of her doings, she would become a narcissist version of herself which is not now .. I have had issues with her behaviour and her know it all attitude. SHe has worked a lot on the way she behaves , but she needs to really have her repercussions to understand she is not always right. It just looked like she is manipulating Virat since he was not right and she turned out to be the right one in understanding Pulkit.

Virat's mistake here is more to do with his actions towards her and not his misunderstanding Pulkit.. And thats why one needs to understand , Anger is your worst enemy.

@bold exactly and that is not for good for any individual. She needs to correct this, someone needs to help in correcting her. Whether her karvayi thi is toxix or not for relationship, is not good for her own self. It depends on the person whether it will turn toxic or not, knowing Virat, he wouldn't make such things an issue.

Yeah, she needs to face the repercussions of her actions and only then will learn. Not everything that she seems right needs to be right. I am not saying it is always arrogance, it is stubbornness, something that isn't well thought of.

@italics I doubt it was a serious kind of manipulation. Just a zidd or a childish kind of way to convince him. Whatever it was, she shouldn't have.

@last para Exactly, the problem with Virat is his actions, if she is making mistakes like this, he ie failing due to he severity of his actions. His actions are at an extreme level which would break a relationship completely.

But her actions will not have a huge impact at one point of time, but will prove to be a provocation for him to take some actions. Yes, he has to control his anger, but she also has to mend her ways and need not always be a reason for their relationship to end up landing with issues.

Her behavior is not a healthy one and not good for a spousal relationship.