A lesson in consent

Definition: “Consent occurs when one person voluntarily agrees to the proposal or desires of another.” -Wikipedia

Virat never agreed to Pakhi’s proposals or desires. In fact, he clearly refused her advances. He did not give consent to any physical or non-physical advances. So yes, Pakhi is harassing him. This is not care or concern; this is harassment.

Care and concern are only applicable when it is welcome by the recipient. Virat never welcomed Pakhi’s so-called care and concern, no matter how genuine the actors may think Pakhi’s character is.

Even in medicine, if a patient refuses to be touched by a healthcare professional, then they may not be touched. If the doctor/nurse/therapist does touch the patient without their permission (regardless of their intentions), they can be charged with assault and battery. I don’t know about India, but this definitely applies in the litigious societies of US/Canada.

I recently took a class in first aid/CPR, and the first thing we were taught is that if the patient is responsive but refuses care, then legally no one can touch them. This even applies to kids. If a child does not want to be hugged, kissed, or if they even do not want to shake hands, they cannot be touched without their permission. Everyone has a right to bodily autonomy. So it is not intentions, but impact that matters.

Why is this so hard to understand for grown adults?

P.S. I merely stated what was on my mind. This is not a comprehensive lesson on consent (obviously). Please add anything you may wish to.

Originally posted by: Aditi_MM

Definition: “Consent occurs when one person voluntarily agrees to the proposal or desires of another.” -Wikipedia

Virat never agreed to Pakhi’s proposals or desires. In fact, he clearly refused her advances. He did not give consent to any physical or non-physical advances. So yes, Pakhi is abusing/harassing him.

Care and concern are only applicable when it is welcome by the recipient. Virat never welcomed Pakhi’s so-called care and concern, no matter how genuine the actors may think Pakhi’s character is.

Even in medicine, if a patient refuses to be touched by a healthcare professional, then they may not be touched. If the doctor/nurse/therapist does touch the patient without their permission, they can be charged with assault and battery. I recently took a class in first aid/CPR, and the first thing we were taught is that if the patient is responsive but refuses care, then legally no one can touch them. This even applies to kids. If a child does not want to be hugged, kissed, or if they even do not want to shake hands, they cannot be touched without their permission. Everyone has a right to bodily autonomy.

Why is this so hard to understand for grown adults?

P.S. I merely stated what was on my mind. This is not a comprehensive lesson on consent (obviously). Please add anything you may wish to.

He has even denied emotional advances from her end.. Pakhi is not interested physically but emotionally..

@ Bold Exactly !!

We have laws when someone tries to propose the other person again and again even when they have been denied, the person can be thrown out under the charges of sexual harassment.. Pakhi indirectly keeps telling Virat that she is love with him..when he denies to go in that domain.. Had he also reciprocated then that would not come under harassment.. but this would..

This is beautifully explained. 👏 This is exactly what it is. Even a doctor is not allowed to touch when someone doesn't want it. So we can't say Virakhi are friends so she has the rights to touch him even when he asked her many times to stay away. Even between friends the boundaries shouldn't be crossed.

Beautifully explained

Well Indian laws are not gender neutral and we currently do not have a law that covers men.

Originally posted by: AnjuRish

Beautifully explained

Well Indian laws are not gender neutral and we currently do not have a law that covers men.

Just now I was telling a friend that men who are being harassed deny to accept it as harassment .. Women in general are not seen by men in general as someone who can harass..

A friend of mine was touched by a female colleague.. not in a wrong way (probably) but in general brushing shoulder.. touching shoulder. Brushing hands.. at times and he found it uncomfortable and the woman did not back out even after being told he doesnt not like it.. ANd when I told him that he is being harassed he was astonished and denied vehemently. I gave him an example that women can even call the HR if they find a handshake uncomfortable. So he said arey thats for women .. aise thode karegi wo mujhe harass. ladkiya harass nahi karti.. . They dont know they are getting harassed.. look at it from a neutral point of view.. they are getting abused..

Completely agreed! To add to the medical consent, last year when the lockdown had just started, I landed up in hospital emergency due to health concerns, and since it was the peak of covid cases then, all the non-covid cases were put in a hallway by curtain separation. Next to me was a very old lady who landed up there in because she had a fall in her house and she wasn’t aware as she lived alone. Her daughter called on 911 when mom didn’t respond and since no one but the patient was allowed due to covid rules, this patient was completely unaware about what happened to her and perhaps too old to comprehend. She had a hip fracture and was adamant on no one touches her for any sort of medication. The amount nurses and doctors trying to talk to her to explain the situation but she wouldn’t agree. The whole team was feeling so helpless. Anyway, this was just to tell I have actually seen how medical consent is so important.

Now coming to GHKKPM, Virat is going through harassment and there are no two ways about it. Patralekha’s presence in the same room without his his wife or patralekha’s husband makes him uncomfortable and he expressed it too many times. He is right that when she isn’t a nurse or a doctor or some one close enough to be present there, his consent matters the most as a patient. He repeatedly reminding her of the boundaries is itself self explanatory that she is crossing them. She expecting verbal acknowledgments and arguing when he just had a surgery few hours back is harassment. She imposing her feelings at all times when he doesn’t want them is harassment. She demands her importance to be that of his wife when he has clearly said his wife isn’t comparable to any other woman or that she will remain his priority forever is clearly violating his consent when he asks her to leave each time.

The whole team acting/directing/writing has faltered if we audience is interpreting in different way because it’s not even matter of what we interpret, it’s clearly stated to us. It’s just better for the show that every one involved in the team focusses on their work and let the story take its course.

Originally posted by: melliflous

Completely agreed! To add to the medical consent, last year when the lockdown had just started, I landed up in hospital emergency due to health concerns, and since it was the peak of covid cases then, all the non-covid cases were put in a hallway by curtain separation. Next to me was a very old lady who landed up there in because she had a fall in her house and she wasn’t aware as she lived alone. Her daughter called on 911 when mom didn’t respond and since no one but the patient was allowed due to covid rules, this patient was completely unaware about what happened to her and perhaps too old to comprehend. She had a hip fracture and was adamant on no one touches her for any sort of medication. The amount nurses and doctors trying to talk to her to explain the situation but she wouldn’t agree. The whole team was feeling so helpless. Anyway, this was just to tell I have actually seen how medical consent is so important.

Now coming to GHKKPM, Virat is going through harassment and there are no two ways about it. Patralekha’s presence in the same room without his his wife or patralekha’s husband makes him uncomfortable and he expressed it too many times. He is right that when she isn’t a nurse or a doctor or some one close enough to be present there, his consent matters the most as a patient. He repeatedly reminding her of the boundaries is itself self explanatory that she is crossing them. She expecting verbal acknowledgments and arguing when he just had a surgery few hours back is harassment. She imposing her feelings at all times when he doesn’t want them is harassment. She demands her importance to be that of his wife when he has clearly said his wife isn’t comparable to any other woman or that she will remain his priority forever is clearly violating his consent when he asks her to leave each time.

The whole team acting/directing/writing has faltered if we audience is interpreting in different way because it’s not even matter of what we interpret, it’s clearly stated to us. It’s just better for the show that every one involved in the team focusses on their work and let the story take its course.

🤗 Agree to everything that has been said here..

Wow!! I am glad to be a part of this forum 😳 and also a bit thankful for the show to provoke this kind of discussions😆 I never knew if consent of this kind is also needed😲 Creatives should really look into this matter but again who are we fooling🤪 just like how logic and many more such things are ghum in most of the ITV shows how can we expect them to address this kind of issues which are mostly royally brushed under the carpet🤔

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

Just now I was telling a friend that men who are being harassed deny to accept it as harassment .. Women in general are not seen by men in general as someone who can harass..

A friend of mine was touched by a female colleague.. not in a wrong way (probably) but in general brushing shoulder.. touching shoulder. Brushing hands.. at times and he found it uncomfortable and the woman did not back out even after being told he doesnt not like it.. ANd when I told him that he is being harassed he was astonished and denied vehemently. I gave him an example that women can even call the HR if they find a handshake uncomfortable. So he said arey thats for women .. aise thode karegi wo mujhe harass. ladkiya harass nahi karti.. . They dont know they are getting harassed.. look at it from a neutral point of view.. they are getting abused..

I have a friend who was was harassed by touching thighs , neck and all that . He made it clear many times.

Somewhat like aitrazz it was so tough ..she suggested an affair. The guy is very masculine looking

We tried to see if can get legal help ..that's how I know the law in detail. Finally be called her out in public with no other choice. It affected him mentally and he underwent counselling too. Luckily his girl friend was very supportive. They moved cities finally when they got married

Exactly. Virat had in past not made any remarks asking her to leave or go. So at that time she was invading Virats space and it still cringe worthy but couldn't be called harassment. But now- he has asked her to leave. To be mindful of the "maryaada" and mindful of the "lihaaz". He swatted her hand away when he was awake so obviously he would not approved of her caressing his hair/forehead affectionately. He also does not approve of how she is wanting to eat in his room, equating herself to Sai, asking him about vaada. So despite his refusal and lack of his conset she is stopping his wife from meeting him, says i know what i want and I'll still do what i want! It's ridiculous.