Of Demand, Supply and Commodities

Have you ever heard of the argument "Not all men are like that" when women or anybody for that matter talk about misogyny and patriarchy? I find the defence to Shaurya's misogyny which is very much there saying "He only expects his wife to be a home maker" to be equally absurd!

This right here is where the misogyny lies, that it is the mother who needs to nurture the child! He has not considered for a moment that if a parent being present for the child is all that matters then why can't that parent be him? Why can his wife's dreams be traded but not his own? Because let's not forget that while Aastha went away Shaan didn't envelope him with love either.

Going back to the first/second episode the makers very specifically use the word "House wife" which assigns the role to one particular gender "women". They have carefully avoided the use of the latest and more gender inclusive/neutral "Homemaker".

Now,coming back to what's wrong in expecting a "housewife" or "homemaker", there is nothing wrong in it agreed but it is a choice that needs to be made by the individual and not something that is put forth as a demand. Men like Shaurya who expect a housewife form a major part of our society still, why do you think women's education or career is treated as flexible? Because they only need to comply with the demand of the prospective husband in the marriage marketplace. Which is why all of us at somepoint have been told or heard another woman/girl being told:

"What are you going to do in your in laws house?"

"Get married and pursue whatever you want"

Women are taught to be compliant because men expect that compliance, it might be placed veiled as choice but compliance is what it is. It doesn't take long for an individual thought to gain momentum as a collective thought of the society at large years ago one man might have decided this what a woman should be like! His wife must have complied for whatever reason and that thought would have passed to their sons and daughters and that is how patriarchy must have reared its ugly head and festered to the point we are at now.

Basically my point is in the real world prospective partners/husbands place their demands and as crass as it might sound the woman's family spends their entire time till the girl is ready for marriage to mould her as the perfect product and supply to the marriage marketplace.

Which is why the first episode of SAAKK is important because Anokhi bhalla is here to show Shaurya Sabarwal that she is not a commodity!

Shaurya is an amazing guy there is no doubt about it, he is layered and has his own demons to battle but misogyny at whatever level it is at is very much a part of those layers.

Sorry for the long post I just needed to get this out of my system 😆

Originally posted by: FortunaMajor

Have you ever heard of the argument "Not all men are like that" when women or anybody for that matter talk about misogyny and patriarchy? I find the defence to Shaurya's misogyny which is very much there saying "He only expects his wife to be a home maker" to be equally absurd!

This right here is where the misogyny lies, that it is the mother who needs to nurture the child! He has not considered for a moment that if a parent being present for the child is all that matters then why can't that parent be him? Why can his wife's dreams be traded but not his own? Because let's not forget that while Aastha went away Shaan didn't envelope him with love either.

Going back to the first/second episode the makers very specifically use the word "House wife" which assigns the role to one particular gender "women". They have carefully avoided the use of the latest and more gender inclusive/neutral "Homemaker".

Now,coming back to what's wrong in expecting a "housewife" or "homemaker", there is nothing wrong in it agreed but it is a choice that needs to be made by the individual and not something that is put forth as a demand. Men like Shaurya who expect a housewife form a major part of our society still, why do you think women's education or career is treated as flexible? Because they only need to comply with the demand of the prospective husband in the marriage marketplace. Which is why all of us at somepoint have been told or heard another woman/girl being told:

"What are you going to do in your in laws house?"

"Get married and pursue whatever you want"

Women are taught to be compliant because men expect that compliance, it might be placed veiled as choice but compliance is what it is. It doesn't take long for an individual thought to gain momentum as a collective thought of the society at large years ago one man might have decided this what a woman should be like! His wife must have complied for whatever reason and that thought would have passed to their sons and daughters and that is how patriarchy must have reared its ugly head and festered to the point we are at now.

Basically my point is in the real world prospective partners/husbands place their demands and as crass as it might sound the woman's family spends their entire time till the girl is ready for marriage to mould her as the perfect product and supply to the marriage marketplace.

Which is why the first episode of SAAKK is important because Anokhi bhalla is here to show Shaurya Sabarwal that she is not a commodity!

Shaurya is an amazing guy there is no doubt about it, he is layered and has his own demons to battle but misogyny at whatever level it is at is very much a part of those layers.

Sorry for the long post I just needed to get this out of my system 😆

This is SO TRUE.

Irrespective of your background : status ,education, wealth etc. everyone expects the woman to take it easy in her career as she has to be there for her children. No one really talks about a mans responsibilities apart from financial ones.

Even though, I have fallen in love with SHaurya, he is a MCP. Selective but yes , it does exist.

The layers need to be peeled. You cannot always use your childhood as an excuse of how you are. Once you are an adult, you are the result of the choices you make in life.

It will be amazing to see how SHaurya deals with a partner like Anokhi who wants to be self reliant.

For eg., he had a problem with her coming to file a FIR.. why ? because the men in his house do the work while women are protected. In his mind, roles are defined, however, his love for Anokhi will make him change , unlearn and relearn things.

Hoping for an epic love story ahead ❤️ that actually serves the message it intends to serve!

“What are you going to do in your in laws house?"

Growing up, and still today, I hear this from my mom. I am a big believer in women power. And I think all women have a right to their education and future. Housewife is a choice. I think when this topic does come back up in the show, Anokhi is going to rock Shauryas world. I can’t wait to see that phase in their life. I want to see him accept her future, but it won’t be easy for him and that’s a battle they both have to fight.

Originally posted by: glowgetter

This is SO TRUE.

Irrespective of your background : status ,education, wealth etc. everyone expects the woman to take it easy in her career as she has to be there for her children. No one really talks about a mans responsibilities apart from financial ones.

Even though, I have fallen in love with SHaurya, he is a MCP. Selective but yes , it does exist.

The layers need to be peeled. You cannot always use your childhood as an excuse of how you are. Once you are an adult, you are the result of the choices you make in life.

It will be amazing to see how SHaurya deals with a partner like Anokhi who wants to be self reliant.

For eg., he had a problem with her coming to file a FIR.. why ? because the men in his house do the work while women are protected. In his mind, roles are defined, however, his love for Anokhi will make him change , unlearn and relearn things.

Hoping for an epic love story ahead ❤️ that actually serves the message it intends to serve!

Absolutely! This is what I am looking forward to seeing how is his thinking going to transition? I am okay with both an explicit or underlying portrayal as long as its portrayed 😆

Originally posted by: Juwii29

“What are you going to do in your in laws house?"

Growing up, and still today, I hear this from my mom. I am a big believer in women power. And I think all women have a right to their education and future. Housewife is a choice. I think when this topic does come back up in the show, Anokhi is going to rock Shauryas world. I can’t wait to see that phase in their life. I want to see him accept her future, but it won’t be easy for him and that’s a battle they both have to fight.

Agreed! I really can't wait for this phase of the show once their feelings are sorted!

Damn this thread...especially all the ladies in here in their 20s and getting to hear marriage talks everyday, this thread will resonate. If I had the mood i would have ranted away 😆

Shaurya when they came back was saying to anokhi something like 'you have a great career ahead, you are a great student' and probably not cause he is starting to like her. the look on his face showed he really meant that. i wonder maybe his 'support' will be limited to education only, like women are allowed to pursue masters or phd, but not allowed to get a job cause ghar kon sambhalega? also, did not shagun leave too to pursue her career? if anokhi tomorrow gets a job and not able to divide time equally between home and work, i wonder how he will react. and maybe this is the character growth everyone here is looking forward too, a partner who supports anokhi in every thing, a true partner. the girl has suffered enough, doesnt she need a pillar of strength now to stand by her?

i remember reading a drabble in this forum like on anokhi's graduation day shaan is telling shaurya not to marry her as he will not be able to support her career, but shaurya was changed and was like she has dreams. i hope someday this show gives us that too.

This is such an on point post!! I've often wondered what Shaurya would have said if Shagun turned around and said the same thing he did. I want a partner who prioritizes me and the family. So I want you to stay at home with me. Would he have gone ahead and done that? Probably not because it's clear from many of the ways he behaves that he believes it's the man's job to provide/protect while its the woman's role to nurture and care. And it's interesting to me that in that conversation he says he doesn't want to take a chance that she won't be one of the women who is capable of balancing both career and family, despite recognizing that many women do. Because this is never a question that is raised for men. No one asks will you as a man be able to handle your career and your family. As we see the use of parental leave as opposed to maternity leave, I wonder if this is something that will be addressed. The innate presumption that men must be the providers and women must be the caregivers. If a couple chooses to have that division labor of their own volition, that is absolutely fine. But for one partner to unilaterally decide that and use the other's love as leverage to strongarm her into accepting it, that is when it becomes problematic. Here, Shaurya's love for Anokhi is going to force him into a similar situation to that which he placed Shagun. Choose between his love or his ideals.

I believe this serial won't do justice to the theme. For that shaurya needs to change. He is too much smitten by his family and their values to see them as.wrong . Even if he loves anokhi and might take a stand for her (vaise he doesn't have to bec anokhi is fully capable of it ) , anokhis life will not be rosy .

It's rightly said by everyone in the post , it has to be the mother only who should be around for her children , as per shaurya. Why cant it be the father? or both the parents taking turns ?

Even if he bows down to anokhis wishes under pressure and threats , it won't make much of a difference bec the mentality of people like sabarwals don't change. N family aisi hai toh ladka bhi vaise hi hota hai. The fruit doesn't fall far from the tree. Clashes are inevitable.

Look at the sabarwal products. Matlab ek se ek namoona hi banaya hai ghar ki Aurton ne ghar pe rehke aur care karke..alok..tej..kitty.. bebo...what exactly are they proud of 😆

Every single line of the post👏👏

Also why is that only a woman is expected to Balance home and career?

Men never get that question nor do they have to worry about home, why?

Because he is working outside so that’s it his work is done but a woman no matter how successful she is, her worth is still measured in how she takes care of home which is 100% her responsibility; a man has nothing do with it.

When men take care of THEIR kids even for 1 hour it is seen by everyone as so supportive and some Mahaan kaam and women even after giving their ALL have to listen to where they have fallen back and made to feel guilty for no reason.

Men like shaurya just want a free ki governess, maid and baby making machine in the name of a wife who will give their khaandan a heir and she should sacrifice her whole life for his useless and narrow minded khaandan and family. This soch is utter bs, and I am glad it will be portrayed as such; this isn’t question of shaurya’s choice but of his choti soch which he will have to change. This is the premise of the show and I have a feeling ki slowly the change has begun.

Children don’t suffer when their mothers are working; children Suffer when fathers refuse to take equal part in rearing a child. Only mother is made to feel guilty for working Inspite of giving her everything to her child while no one raises a finger on the father infact praises him when he does the bare minimum.

High time if men want a housewife for whatever reason then instead of expecting a house wife, take a decision of becoming a househusband first the same reason;

A mother’s exclusive role is carrying a child and breast feeding for which maternity leaves are there; uske baad there is nothing that a father can’t do.

So be open to leaving your career too if you are worried about kids and not just expect Your wife to make the sacrifices.

And anyways I personally think both can work and handle the kids IF BOTH ARE EQUALLY CONCERNED AND INVOLVED in child rearing.

And also When both are working outside both should be equally responsible for household chores as well

And one last thing, a working wife/mother or homemaker, a father should ALWAYS more or less be there for kids.

A mother being 24/7 with kids doesn’t mean that a father doesn’t have to perform any fatherly duties.

All the burden has always fallen on mother as if She became pregnant on her own.

Amazing and a much needed post! Since I have seen some people say ki there is nothing wrong with shaurya having a preference.

I so want people to understand that this particular thing is not about preference but about male entitlement and privilege.

It’s a way of upholding patriarchy and misogyny in modern times since a financially independent woman is a woman that society is scared of since she is independent in every sense, and independent women CANNOT be oppressed but society functions on oppressing women kabhi by men kabhi by other women hence the resistance and fear.

Wow post 👏👏

And like @haal e dil said mostly girls here in their 20s facing the same question, I agree selling in the same boat.

Yes, it's true that we have come a far way and now women work after marriage. But once they get a kid they are expected to leave thier work and take care of the child because someone has to earn and that always has to be the husband and someone has to take care of the house and child and that someone is always the woman.

Why can't both settle on something that both earn and both take care of the child?

Coming to the question why only women have to sacrifice for the child? I guess the answer to this question pretty much lies in our society's thinking only because even if men start to take care of their child or rather say that instead of wife husband abandons his job for child, then society will tell him that he is useless, he eats on his wife's earnings. Also, why it's the girl who always has to leave the job is because generally it is the husband who earns more than wife because if he marries someone who earns more than him then his ego gets hurt. It's high times mindset of the society changes then only we can progress and bring true gender equality.