Originally posted by: jankiraghav
Good afternoon sisterhood!
Wujood-e-Zan Se Hai Tasveer-e-Kainat Mein Rang
Issi Ke Saaz Se Hai Zindagi Ka Souz-e-Darun
The picture that this world presents from woman gets its tints and scents:
She is the lyre that can impart pathos and warmth to human heart.
(Dr. Allama Iqbal)
Happy women's day 👸🦸🤶🧚🧜👩🔬👩⚕️👩🔧👩🏭👩🚒👩🌾👩🏫👩🎓👩💼👩⚖️👩💻👩🎤👩🎨👩🍳👩🍳👳👳🧕👯💃💃💃💃🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺
Finally, an episode that is the first in the build-up for the eventuality that lies ahead. It was a good episode made up of three conversations -- Sai-Virat, Virat-Vahini and Sai-Usha. All three conversations having a point of highlight.
Beginning an episode with that infuriating "chahe na chahe nibhana hai humko..." was such a put-off. Matlab, in logon ne kasam kha li hai ki khushi par thoda sa paani toh phenk ki hi rakhna hai...😥😥
1. Sai and Virat:
Today's banter was as natural as they have always been -- but somehow there was a distinct sense of yearning in both their dialogues, the body language and the very gaze in which they held one another. Each wanting the other to speak what they wanted to hear... Almost there but not yet..
"Aap mujhe dekh rahe thay?"
"Tum mere parivaar ko apna maanti ho? ... Aur mujhe?"
The answer to both these questions lies in the last sentence spoken by Virat: Khamoshi se behtar jawab nahi hota 😒🤫
Only if they could break their compulsive need to not translate into words what they have been expressing in their silences... 🥺
So 'police wale ko chup karane mein maza hi alag hota hai' 😅😅 I feel you Sai 🤣🤣!
But policewala goes, "policewale ki beti ko chup karane mein'... very, very cautiously avoiding 'policewale ki biwi ko' reference 😝
The conversation was so deep despite being friendly on the surface. They could read one another so well but both not wanting to acknowledge the assumptions that their minds want to make. Still pushing as much as they could-- it was filled with so much unsaid but well conveyed sense of belonging ...
It was beautiful the way Virat said: "Wo log apni zindagi ke faisle khud kar sakte hain... Maine bhi kaunsi ijazat li thi tumse shaadi karne ke liye..."
The sentence had much weight. He compared their marriage with the union of Devyani and Pulkit, who are separated lovers wanting to unite forever. One would wonder how can a 'deal marriage' be compared to what Devyani and Pulkit want. But, was it ever meant to be a deal?
Sai's "isiliye toh aapki junglee biwi aa gayi", was an apt response. And they broke into a laugh. It speaks of the comfort they have reached: they know that the grudging family is difficult to win over and Sai has no qualms in laughing at her own situation. They can actually joke about their own marriage circumstances now it's a big progress 👍
>>> There has been one thing about them, they have always been open and free about many things. Their conversation are very nicely placed and simple. It always gives a vibe that they are very comfortable with each other. Only when the feelings are to be discussed, things will get tensed between them.
Also, the ease with which they can discuss the 'money' after the ugly fight where her financial dependence on him was one of the mentions -- it has been truly forgiven and it is an extremely encouraging sign for both of them to be able to laugh at some of the 'uncomfortable' aspects. This part could, of course, be because both of them are fully aware that financial dependence is only temporary. She will eventually be well-settled and in an even better position in terms of finances. There can be so much to build together...
One can only wish that soon they reach this kind of comfort also talking about Virat's past and the barriers between them --laughing over it. What is a marriage where an uncomfortable conversation cannot be had with some added humour?
In all the playful banter of leg-pulling, and threatening ear pulls, the biggest moment of the day was Virat's monologue at the mention of Sai going off to Gadchiroli to withdraw money. Of course, she did not mean to say she would go away forever but his "Main nahi chahta ki tum jao..." was an indication that he connects her returning to Gadchiroli with some kind of insecurity of losing her.
Sai sensed the response was unspecific and so asked pointedly again: "Mere jaane se aapko kya fark padta hai?"
It was not a question asked in the context of visiting the bank to withdraw Aaba's money but a continuation to "Main paanch saal ke baad chali jaungi"...
So, Sai still does not get to 'hear' the answer that she can evidently read on his face. But we finally get a monologue on "tumhari aadat ho gayi hai... tumhare is ghar me na rehne se fark padta hai mujhe, bohat fark padta hai.."
It is interesting that he did not use any other word even in his internal thought that Sai couldn't hear -- especially the 'pyaar' word. It is perhaps because he actually doesn't think of it as "pyaar" in every sense of it.
>>> He hasn't reached that stage yet, for him to know he needs to be away from her (that's a sad truth), till then he will always think he is used to her. That's the difference people find out when they are away, do they really love the other person or are just habituated with them.
Shouldn't the word "Aadat" be a problem word? In the context of marriages, "aadat", which means habituation, is not exactly a positive word for a healthy relationship. Habituation is a word used to describe the phase of disillusionment in marriages that follows the initial euphoric years but in this case, the word that conveys genuinely conveys Virat's current feeling.
Normally, marriages reach disillusionment after going through euphoria but in certain circumstances as this, the pattern is reversed. It is not surprising that he describes it as "aadat" and since it is a monologue obviously the feeling has to be an honest one. He is of course not 'in love' yet. Virat's feeling for Sai has gone through a progression:
- It started off as a deep sense of connection through conversations they had by default during her 'tough time', which resulted in mutual respect when they were ready to go separate ways. He was the one she could depend on and trust and she, for him, was someone who would summon all her energy to do whatever it takes for anyone she cares about.
-It turned into a feeling of responsibility arising out of guilt and fear of losing the 'connection'.
-It was supposed to be the 'blind eye arrangement' as they call such marriages: where spouses simply agree to lead separate lives and come together with some amount of pretence of affection for the 'business' of social functions and family. They did not think it would affect each other the way they have.
-But then, it developed into familiarity and harmonious compatibility and even if there has been an outright rejection of it, there is a definite friendship that they share with each other. One doesn't have to offer and the other doesn't have to accept this friendship.
-Of course, the "marriage" brings along a sense of male entitlement which no one can deny and so, the "acchi lagti ho" feeling of familiarity turned into unplanned yearning for belonging and oneness, which manifests itself as possessiveness and insecurity on many occasions -- it will continue to be that way until they reach their phase of euphoria.
-But cohabiting with someone, who one can "get along with" at most times is never going to leave the person untouched or unaffected and, of course, getting 'accustomed to' (aadat) is a natural feeling. Add to that the inevitable attraction towards the person.
Being habituated (Aadat) is more complicated than being in love. In many relationships, 'aadat' is often manifested as taken for granted. While it is often defined with the negative connotations as indifference and treating the spouse badly or failing to value the person, the 'taken for granted' feeling is actually a sign associated with the feeling of stability and confidence in the status quo with the partner: "This won't change". It actually often results in the attitude of not making any additional efforts in 'developing' the deeper connections. Isn't that also why Virat and Sai are stuck in this awkward silence? They do not want to put in an effort to engage in an impactful conversation about the lingering questions that can be answered and bring a greater significance to their 'love' but the "status quo" is comfortable and they do not want to let go of their inertia in taking the first step.
Sai could read his face -- his awkwardness when they 'bumped' into each other to his enchanted gaze, to his embarrassment when she questioned him and his impish acknowledgement when she let him off.
Also, Was it the first time that he saw her opening her mouth to answer his "main parivaar nahi hoon" question and puckishly avoiding the answer? Doesn't he know the answer already? But well, they have both decided: 'kabhi kabhi khamoshi se behtar koi jawab nahi hota...'
>>> I think she read his khamoshi as well, was about to ask him further par aap toh..... Whatever it was now its for us to imagine. But I think she read him well but she will always want to hear it instead reading as he has voiced out too many incorrect things pehle (I dont want to say those words)
His "24K sona dialogue" made me check out the price of gold today😅😅😅 It is hovering at Rs 46000 per 10g in most cities in India. Chavan saheb should be good at math and realised the value of this intangible goldmine he has got in addition to his monthly salary of Rs 56,100 😝. Waise, dialogue toh gold standard wala tha🤩. Now, only if his monologue translates into a platinum sombrero of verbal expression to the 24K Baiko😑
But as it goes: the most confused you will ever be is when you try to convince your heart and spirit of something your heart knows is a lie.😒😒
2. Sai-Usha Maushi
It was a short scene but it was very relevant and something beautiful about it. Usha, for the first time, speaking like a typical mother of a girl -- where advice is accompanied by a word of caution and a certain factor of annoyance towards the hostile people in the girl's life🤭. Usha was right in her advice-- Sai should not need to leave her room for a 'family member' to want to talk to her husband in 'private'. Also, Usha stressing on Sai asking Virat for the money, rightfully. Of course, most of us really would not subscribe to the concept of the wife being financially dependent on the husband but the spouses (I won't say wife) definitely have the first 'right' over each other's resources.
>>> That was a right advice, I think that right most of the time Vahini tries to claim but is never successful and Sai never uses it.
Her reminder to Sai about the progress she has made from "tu toh apni hi shaadi ke khilaaf thi" to "Virat sir mere saath hain toh..." wali feeling was notable. Just yesterday, I mentioned how Virat's being there is actually only an "added boost" to Sai's pre-existing faith in herself when she knows she's on the path of justice. Wouldn't she put in all that it takes to do what she thinks is right even if Virat would not support her? She would. Whether she has the right to decide about the life of someone who is not in a mentally sound condition, is of course, meant to be ignored for the fictional liberty here🤹.
3. Virat and Vahini
It was an appropriate scene. The keyword: Commonsense-- that is the most lacking commodity in Chakram niwas and especially with Vahini (inspired by Voltaire). Only if the extoxic tea had any common sense being added to it🤷
Vahini's act reminded me of the story where a teacher, who is trying to find a thief in a classroom, tells students that he will spray magic water on all of them which will automatically detect the thief as every innocent child will have a green mark on the palm. The guilty student already draws the green mark to be "seen innocent"🤭😝
The desperation with which Patralekha was trying to convince Virat, without having any convincing reasons to 'call off the marriage' was so visible.
Virat could not help but ask, "Ye tumhari khud ki soch hai ya Kaku ki..." He wanted to know if she is indeed the one who has such unkind thoughts or is she just being a messenger. He must have hoped it is not her own thought and he doesn't have to judge her again --but Mallika-e-Maturity being the Vedi vahini with over active beizzati hormones, could not read the question and went on to prove that "main bhi parivaar ka hissa hoon, meri raay hai"...🤧
You can throw chappals for saying this but I could not help but imagine them as husband-wife for a moment💆💆💆 -- What if they had actually been married as they wanted. Just look at the way she would try to make him fall in line with everything that matters for keeping up an "image", even if it is against his personal value system. Now that she is not his 'wife' but his 'vahini' and indeed, Sai's conviction has reinforced his own confidence in fighting for his principles, he is not willing to fall for these attempts to derail his thought. If we still wonder what would Virat and Patralekha have been as the actual chaheeta beta and chaheeti bahu of Chavan niwas -- it is this. The rot would have continued to the next generation because the values would only be on "display"🤷😑
It was pertinent that Virat mentioned Sai's "Sacchai, imandaari aur himmat..." and especially the very direct, "Sai unme se nahi hai jo doosron ko impress karne ke liye kuch kare... wo bas sach ka saath deti hai..."
That is he inherent difference between Vahini and Baiko -- I don't think Virat has any doubts about the fact that Patralekha cannot stand up for justice -- she could not have been a 'partner' to him in the true sense of the word because their inherent courage to face situations and stand up for the right is not on the same page..😑👍
Loved the use of the "common sense"... Vahini bhi kitni funny hain...😀 Sorry sorry, Susheel Hain.😅 She used the word in such an ironic way, without using her common sense in the matter. If she had mentioned all those concerns without adding her , "Tum kar rahe ho kyunki Sai chahti hai", it would have not seemed as desperate an attempt to run down Sai as it did. If she had used her common sense, she would have continued to show 'restrain' in her approach the way she did during the beginning. She was very cautious not to pick a battle with Sai and digress. She knew the focus of the conversation had to be on Devyani's marriage and she did not want to irk Virat or Sai right at the entry so she knocked, sought permission and almost displayed her 'susheelta' but then the insistence on "akele mein baat karni hai".
Actually, she had nothing to say that she could not have said in front of Sai but it was good that Sai left because Sai would have been unable to control herself 😂😂and Vahini would have got some kind of brownies. It was good to see Virat insisting on Sai to be present in the room but, honestly, knowing the contempt that Vahini has for Sai and the fact that Sai does get instigated by it, he should really stop coercing her to stay.
I actually liked the questions Patralekha asked (they should have occurred to Virat and Sai on their own to close the loose ends): "What if he is married? What if he has a motive? What if he cannot live up to his promise and sends Devyani back due to her mental condition?" Only if Vahini had pushed him to try to investigate before agreeing to the marriage and then planted that great letter that is on its way, rather than making such an itching attempt to "nahi karna chahiye" thought.
>>> Waise the common sense would have been if our vedi vahini had started the conversation with these questions, it would have been a different picture altogether. But vahini being vedi, started with how Sai is immature and Virat should not agree for the marriage. Uff kya karein inka, she had the right opportunity and the right context but misplaced thoughts. When you work on a game plan to pull someone down and not for your own success this is what happens
Virat's "Itna dimaag ladane ki zaroorat nahi hai" made me laugh so much because it was so evident what she was trying to do🤦🤦 (was it only me or her side profile is really bad-- the wig that appears like it is resting on half of a tender coconut attached to the back of her head?💇💇💇)
So apart from his 'common sense' that comes from knowing Pulkit and knowing that he would have no need to seek a mentally unstable ex-wife if he were indeed happily married and financially settled, Virat also believes, "Sai ne sab acchi tarah se padtaal karne ke baad hi usse yahan bulya...hum sab se pehle jaanti thi... jaldbaazi mein nahi kiya..." So, obviously, we know bill kis par fatne wala hai!🙇😑😰
It would be so foolish (and we will be expected to digest🤯) that he will fall for a sudden letter popping up at the doorstep after Vahini has desperately tried to ask him, "What if Pulkit is married? I heard Mami and Mama talking about his other marriage?" Not once but T-W-I-C-E.😖🤐😣
Five commonsense questions we must not ask:
1. Is Harini going to meet her mother after she comes home as Pulkit's wife?😕
2. Mama Mami don't want to meet her and don't even remember her in the conversation about the preparations?😕😕😕 Matlab, Harini ke liye not even one gift?🤐
3. Devyani is mentally unsound and IPS officer conveniently forgets that fact while going on about "wo dono baalig hain apne faisle khud kar sakte hain..." (being mentally unsound is one of the grounds for invalid marriage😣). Oh wait, we are conveniently forgetting that we must not see him as an IPS officer.😩😓
4. The letter 💌 will pop up at the doorstep without a postal stamp from Sangeeta Deshpande. How did Sangeeta Deshpande learn about the wedding that has not been announced publicly, within one day of the resolve made only by navra baiko?🤫🤫🤔🤔
5. The wedding will be 'simple' but won't Virat even want to visit Pulkit to talk once? Jo beet gaya has to be left where it is? So he's only going to move from blindly trusting Sai's padtaal, to blindly trusting Vahini's patravhavahar, while strutting around in a khakhi and holding that peak cap under his left arm? Kuch hazam nahi ho raha hai...🤢🤢
>>> HArini ka topic i think will have separate track in itself. How they want to do it lets see
************
How is the day coming along?
Today's episode reminds us that it is important to learn to let go before one learns to seek, desire and get. Life is meant to be really felt and touched, not throttled in rigid clasp of the hands... life has its own pace and it is futile to compare it with prior experiences or set it up against expectations.
If nothing, the ongoing pandemic has really made us see how life can really slow us all down and force us to reflect, deal with the crisis and when nature wants to have its way, the only way forward is to go with the flow and accept life's verdict.💝💝💝
And as 24karat wali dewdrop said today, "Doosron ke liye kuch karne mein jo khushi milti hai wo apne aap ke liye kuch karne mein kabhi nahi milti..." no matter how grave the circumstances are, a match is not over until the last ball is bowled! So, even in a dead-end, a no-go situation, the biggest blessing one has is merely in 'being alive'...❣️💖
Take it as it comes... and add some zest with☕☕☕☕🍵🍵🍵🍵 and Zindagi Ka Saath nibhate raho.
Sending 🤗🤗🤗🤗and ❤️❤️❤️❤️️ to last the entire day ahead.
Kya bolte ho?
Lots of love!
❤️️J
Cricket
