Happy Women’s Day to all.
Wanted to write something on this occasion but this has become unusually long. Hope you will find the patience to go through.
Let us take a tour through the lives of the women who have graced our show. They come in all shades, even those that look black or white on the surface.
First of all we have our Anokhi, the tiny girl with the big dreams. Dreams to have an identity of her own, separate from that of someone’s daughter, someone’s wife or someone’s mother. Dreams to live life on her own terms. She has grown up in a household where she was given second class treatment just because she is a girl. She has seen her mother silently enduring all the abuses that her father hurled towards her day after day. She has seen her sister hiding signs of physical abuse only for the so-called family honour. She has raised her voice in protest but she could only do so much. The people for whom she wanted to fight backed off from their own battle. Anokhi did not do that when it came to her. She knew marriage would sound the death knell to her dreams. She fought. She fought with all the strength she had, to break the shackles that bound her. She knew that to gain her self respect, she had to cross the doorstep of her house, hurt the people who brought her up, who she loved dearly. But she knew she was not leaving them behind. She would come back to make the same people proud whose honour she has damaged today.
Once she stepped into the real world, she realised how difficult it was, but that could not break her spirits. She was free now, and nothing could stop her from reaching out for her dreams.The struggles she went through only strengthened her resolve. Even the biggest adversity could not crush her hopes. She took the adversities in her stride and broke one barrier after another. On the way, she did not give up on her innocence, her ability to find happiness in the little things in life, her ability to stand by the people she loved, unconditionally.
How can we have a character without flaws. Anokhi is the purest of soul, but sometimes she oversteps her boundaries, especially when it comes to her loved ones, like we have seen in the case of her Aastha Mam. She is still young, and sees people as either black or white. She will slowly learn that no human can be like that. No one can be always right or always wrong. She also needs to learn that sometimes it becomes necessary to let your brain overtake your heart. Life will, of course, teach her all of these, and bestow her with depth and maturity turning her into a fine woman.
Our perception of people depends on the lens that we put on to see them. If we see Aastha through the lens of her parents, she is the ideal daughter. If we see her through the lens of her students, she is the perfect teacher, but if we see her through the lens of Shaurya, she is a failed mother. Aastha is a strong woman, who instills the best values in her students, who has fought all her battles alone, who stands like a rock to protect her parents from every storm, who can endanger her life and reputation for a student, who can come in the way of a bullet to save another person. How did she fall short when it came to her own child? Aastha, unlike Anokhi, always took decisions with her brain. She never let her emotions overpower her (till she got shot). If we believe her words, she did not want to drag Shaurya through a court case as it could scar him for life. She did not want to take him away from his father. She did not want to put Shaurya through the confusion and trauma of having to choose between his parents. It is true that a child needs his mother the most. But is only having a mother enough, especially when it is a full time working mother who is also occupied with the responsibility of her ailing parents. Shaurya would still be alone most of the time. Aastha could not have given him the comforts, the position, the opportunities that come with being a Sabharwal. She would at the most give him a middle class upbringing, and instead of being one of the directors of SIAC, he would be seen wearing out his soles looking for a respectable job. For her, having her son to herself was not so important as Shaurya having some semblance of stability in his life.
We sometimes take a decision thinking that things will turn out a certain way but they don’t and we can do nothing but cry over spilt milk. Did she know that Shaan would turn out to be such a failure as a father? Did she know that she would not be allowed to see him even once in 25 years? Did she know that an insecure Devi would fill Shaurya’s mind with lies about her? Did she have any idea about the pain Shaurya would go through thinking his mother abandoned him? Did she ever try to meet Shaurya outside the Sabharwal house, like in his school or college and clear the air? And most importantly, will she ever be able to make it up to him?
Devi Sabharwal, the custodian of the Sabharwal family values, devoted wife to Tej, affectionate Badima to Shaurya, strict warden to the Sabharwal bahus, but who is Devi, the woman? Her name translates into “Goddess”, but we viewers know she is far from that. It is clear she is an insecure woman, who poisoned Shaurya’s mind against his own mother. She has an almost unhealthy obsession to Shaurya, so much so that she thinks her entire existence depends on him. Without him, she is nothing. She even tries to keep Shaan away from his son despite staying in the same house. Why did she manipulate Shaurya so much? It was not as if Shaurya got close to Aastha, he would go away from her. Did she do it on her own or was she made to do this by someone?
It has been revealed that she convinced Tej for Shaan and Aastha’s marriage. What was her motive behind that? Why couldn’t Shaan raise his voice against her manipulations? When Aastha left she took over Shaurya’s responsibility and declared that she would never have any child of her own. It is highly probable that either Tej or Devi was incapable of bearing children. Was she subjected to emotional abuse by her husband and in-laws because of this? Was she too threatened with abandonment? And becoming Shaurya’s guardian was her only shot at being in the Sabharwal house. And to give credit where credit is due, apart from making him hate Aastha, she did a pretty good job at bringing Shaurya up. Shaurya may have a lot of pain buried underneath, but his humanity is still intact. Whether this was because of or despite Devi’s upbringing, I don’t know.
It seems her insecurity is growing by leaps and bounds with each passing day. Now she is not even hesitant to harm Aastha to keep her from meeting Shaurya.
There are more questions than answers regarding Devi. Will we get to see her layers being peeled off or will she turn out to be a typical itv vamp?
Gayatri, Shaurya’s chachi, is the sole voice of reason in the Sabharwal house. She has been here long enough to understand each of them very well. She has been a witness to what Aastha had gone through. That is why she wants Shaurya to be there for his mother. Though she cannot tell him anything directly because he would never believe her over Devi, she tries to make him see things with an open mind. She is herself the victim of oppression but she never perpetuates it. She treats her daughter in law as a friend and confidante, something she could not do with her own daughters. She is definitely one of the positive influences in Shaurya’s life.
Kanchan, is the new generation bahu who has still not adapted to the Sabharwal way of life. She surely has a mind of her own and sometimes does give a piece of it to Devi only to get admonished. She does not believe that she should stop having fun just because she has become a bahu. In the absence of anything better to do, she had made spying on the members of the Sabharwal family to be her pastime. Whether she will bow down to the rules imposed on her or revolt against it, only time will tell.
The less said about Kitty and Bebo, the better. It being women themselves, they can enjoy the molestation of another woman, they have failed not only as women but also as human beings.
Now coming to Rama, Anokhi’s mother. She is the quintessential mother figure, who bears it all for the sake of her children. She is ready to face abuse from her husband and mother in law to protect her daughters. However this same mother asks her daughter to hide her wounds and suffer in silence. Rama never knew how strong she was capable of being until the day of Anokhi’s wedding. She knew her cowardice has ruined the life of her eldest daughter, she could not let the same happen to her youngest. She had her wings clipped long back but she decided to give wings to her daughter’s dreams. She did not care about the consequences and helped her elope. This was a mother at her strongest. Then this mother again grew weak in front of Aastha and begged her to forgive her son. Rama is very real. We may find a Rama in every neighbourhood, perhaps in every house.
Last but not the least, is Babli, Anokhi’s elder sister. Babli is the victim of patriarchy. From her father to her husband, everyone thinks they have a right to take the decisions of her life. Babli herself has no say. She too had dreams, had love, had hope but all of it was taken away from her when she was married off to an abusive, insensitive misogynist. She was tortured by her in-laws but her own family refused to stand by her side. Despite all this, Babli has a heart of gold. She dotes on her little sister and did not hesitate to help her knowing fully well that she would face the ire of her family. She continues to be Anokhi’s biggest support, and the two together find their little moments of happiness. Babli deserves a happy life. Will she be able to fight her own battles and walk out of an abusive marriage.
The women of SAAKK are unique in their own ways, but we can find a part of our own self in them if we look closely.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
