Shaurya’s guilt

“Tum jiyo, ya to maro, I don’t care”

Shaurya feels restless as those words keep replaying in his head. He has been driving alone through the streets all night, frantically searching for the person to whom he said those words. He showed the photograph from his phone to every passerby and asked if they have seen the woman in the picture. A picture where she looks so happy, a little cherub with a mischievous smile leaning over her shoulders. Who knows how long that picture has stayed in his phone. Did he take it just now from his father’s collection? Or did he have it from long before, unbeknownst to everyone.

All of a sudden he gets a call, informing him of a corpse that has been found. He has to go there for identification as he is the missing person’s immediate kin. He could not believe his ears. “No, this cannot happen”, his entire existence cried out in denial. He drove to the location, bracing himself for the worst. As he stood there, waiting for the corpse to be uncovered, he felt his strength giving up. It took all his courage to keep his consciousness fixed on the visage before him. Oh, the relief he felt when he realised it was not Aastha Sabharwal.

Anokhi was standing beside him. She was not prepared to see her Aastha mam’s dead body. She kept looking away as they removed the cloth. Shaurya touched her softly after assuring himself. She could not control her emotions and laid her head on his chest to calm herself down. He too was in need of a human touch. He stood quietly and let her emotions seep into him.

Soon his father arrived, like a broken man. Shaurya informed him that it was not Aastha's body. He has seen his father being reduced to a mere shadow of his former self when she left 25 years ago. He has seen him pining for the woman all these years, whiling away his time in a drunken stupor. He has seen him getting a fresh lease of life with one call from her. Today when she has gone missing, Shaan is breaking down again. Shaurya offers him his shoulders to cry on. He assures his father that he is there for him. He will help find his father’s Noor, the light of his life.

Aastha Sabharwal, she was so many things to so many people. But who was she to him? The woman who gave birth to him, but threw him out of her life when he was not even old enough to fathom what was happening around him. And now, after 25 years she comes back, only to shake up his world. To negate all that he held to be true. How could he allow her to do that? He had to stop her. Therefore those words came out of his mouth. The words he had been ruing ever since he let them out. She was flinching in agony from her injury. He could see that and yet he hurt her with his ruthless words. How could he be so insensitive? Did she take them to heart? What is he going to do if anything were to happen to her?

Shaurya feels guilty today, but this guilt is not enough to heal the wounds of the past. Aastha’s explanations will not suffice. 25 years is too long a time. She has been absent in the most crucial years. Nothing can change that fact. Things are never going to be the same again. Shaan and Aastha both have to earn their place back in his life. Ending this on a hopeful note that a time will come when Shaurya will get to see that his parents can and will put him before everything else.

This was soo beautiful to read.

It captured the emotions KV portrayed convincingly.

The guilt is there everytime he speaks to his mother - but the hurt, pain of her abandonment is manifold.🥺

25years is indeed a long time. Aastha has a lot to make up for. Her child has been living the life of a living corpse.

As he stood there, waiting for the corpse to be uncovered, he felt his strength giving up. It took all his courage to keep his consciousness fixed on the visage before him.

Shaurya touched her softly after assuring himself. She could not control her emotions and laid her head on his chest to calm herself down. He too was in need of a human touch. He stood quietly and let her emotions seep into him.

Shaurya offers him his shoulders to cry on. He assures his father that he is there for him. He will help find his father’s Noor, the light of his life.

These moments stood out for me. The person who is crushed the most from this saga is the one holding everyone else upright.🥺

Beautifully written❤️

Totally agree with the post. KV potrayed the emotion quite beautifully.

The scene is beautifully written..

Shaurya's parents are responsible for the past. They never clarified, they never cared what a child s going thru. His outburst is justified. And then only he is the one going thru all the pain by himself without any shoulder to lean on.

You captured shauryas emotions so beautifully! He was there for everyone and when he said “mein sambhal loonga”

That was unique and amazing. Here is a man who is weak yet strong. Who knows his boundaries yet crosses them after much pain. Who is respectful and has the self realization - not afraid to apologize.

Very beautifully penned!

There are so many scenes in the show when Shaurya’s feelings and thoughts are a mystery to us. And this was one such scene. I've been wanting to actually explore his thoughts and feelings in such scenes and pen them down but haven't had the time to even complete the first one yet. This was very aptly done, perfectly portrayed.

Originally posted by: Sofna

This was soo beautiful to read.

It captured the emotions KV portrayed convincingly.

The guilt is there everytime he speaks to his mother - but the hurt, pain of her abandonment is manifold.🥺

25years is indeed a long time. Aastha has a lot to make up for. Her child has been living the life of a living corpse.

As he stood there, waiting for the corpse to be uncovered, he felt his strength giving up. It took all his courage to keep his consciousness fixed on the visage before him.

Shaurya touched her softly after assuring himself. She could not control her emotions and laid her head on his chest to calm herself down. He too was in need of a human touch. He stood quietly and let her emotions seep into him.

Shaurya offers him his shoulders to cry on. He assures his father that he is there for him. He will help find his father’s Noor, the light of his life.

These moments stood out for me. The person who is crushed the most from this saga is the one holding everyone else upright.🥺

Beautifully written❤️

I can also understand where Aastha is coming from (I might be her biggest supporter in this forum). She is a good person. But sometimes the goodness in people makes them ruin the life of their own. I will still insist that given the circumstances, she took the decision which she thought would be best for Shaurya. However I will also not deny that the same took a toll on his psyche. That is why I want that she be given a chance to redeem herself. Shaurya should accept her back only when he gets enough proof that he was not a liability for her. That he still is the most important person in her life.

Originally posted by: anjani-pagli

Totally agree with the post. KV potrayed the emotion quite beautifully.

The scene is beautifully written..

Shaurya's parents are responsible for the past. They never clarified, they never cared what a child s going thru. His outburst is justified. And then only he is the one going thru all the pain by himself without any shoulder to lean on.

Yes, Shaurya really needs someone who understands his pain. Anokhi will slowly take that place.

I caught up on Mohor after a long time. There is a beautiful scene between Mohor and her in-laws in today's episode where they patiently explain to Mohor about their son's strengths and weaknesses without taking sides. I hope we will get to see such scenes here too where Shaan and Aastha steadfastly stand by Shaurya and be his pillar of strength.

Originally posted by: prs_725

You captured shauryas emotions so beautifully! He was there for everyone and when he said “mein sambhal loonga”

That was unique and amazing. Here is a man who is weak yet strong. Who knows his boundaries yet crosses them after much pain. Who is respectful and has the self realization - not afraid to apologize.

Shaurya maybe be crumbling from inside but he has a remarkable ability to hold himself together. Perhaps his childhood experiences taught him this. Sometimes difficult situations turn out to be the best teacher.

Originally posted by: Idiotboxer

Shaurya maybe be crumbling from inside but he has a remarkable ability to hold himself together. Perhaps his childhood experiences taught him this. Sometimes difficult situations turn out to be the best teacher.

Ditto.

Frm my understanding, there is an aastha in him and there is a Shaan in him, as his strength and weakness....he has a little bit of devi sabarwal in him as outside influence(which is gonna go away on its own when he falls in love ) ...His past haunts him, he has unresolved issues ..he snaps at anokhi , at Shaan and aastha , and he feels guilty ...this guilt shows that he is a better person than he shows to people.....his own behavior doesn't sit right with him. ..he fights back , holds himself together again, thats aasthas upbringing..his inherent nature of goodness and kindness..

Originally posted by: Idiotboxer

I can also understand where Aastha is coming from (I might be her biggest supporter in this forum). She is a good person. But sometimes the goodness in people makes them ruin the life of their own. I will still insist that given the circumstances, she took the decision which she thought would be best for Shaurya. However I will also not deny that the same took a toll on his psyche. That is why I want that she be given a chance to redeem herself. Shaurya should accept her back only when he gets enough proof that he was not a liability for her. That he still is the most important person in her life.

Count me in as well, bas I didn’t like the fact ki she encouraged such a young girl Who is her son’s student to get involved in such complicated matters; but uske alawa I totally connect to her as a viewer. Tbh I connect to anokhi and shaurya equally too; and till now this has never happened in any show ( I mostly just connect to FLs; almost all MLs are either angry young man or spineless; shaurya is none at least as of now to me)

And anokhi is an absolute sweatheart, just needs to gain maturity which will happen dheere dheere.

This is probably the only show I watched which has Equally flawed leads, equally vulnerable, and more or less equally loveable.