Sisterhood.. is there such a thing? - Page 2

Originally posted by: Bana

Very insightful & thoughtful posts. Agree with most of the views expressed. Personally fortunate to have grown up in a fairly liberal equitable environment. I have 2 daughters now & always consciously try to encourage them to stand up for themselves & other girls.

On a note of introspection - something I pointed out in a cpl of previous posts: haven’t many of us in this very forum been more critical & harsher on Pakhi than Virat when they were both just as responsible for that idiotic vaada situation & the aftermath? Right fm the start Pakhi has got more hate here than Virat. Just go back & read the posts on the terrace scene, first bedroom scene etc.

I don't think that there is a bias towards Virat. In fact, although I do not watch TV shows and unfortunately I cannot give any comparisons with other characters on TV, I feel the brickbats Virat gets is far more than other male leads. I do agree that male leads get a long rope from viewers on TV regardless of what they do because it has to do with the psychology of the women audience-- everyone is watching it for the romance. The story of an underdog woman winning over a grey man appeals to audiences. So, in that sense, Virat-Sai story is different. But Patralekha deserves more brickbats than Virat simply because of her own conduct and extremely flawed moral compass. Virat is not a saint but he has no pretence either. Patralekha has pretense, misplaced value system, not-so-pure intentions and also malice. Should we be supporting her "more" in comparison to Virat only because of her gender? I guess the only parameter for this should be the intention and conscience. Just my point of view.

Also, I don't think that a lot of viewers from the generation of Bhavani or Ashwini would be particularly fond of Sai's character. Not everyone -- almost no one-- likes a zabaan chalane wali bahu or even beti for that matter.

This is precisely the psychology the ITV folks tap on.

Very well said

I don't know about ITV but in the real world, this should change

Women should support another woman...but this tang khecho agar koi age badh raha h

This way is also impacting society and India as a country

In childhood one of our teacher said a story about a person who was a scientist (don't remember the name )

Who wanted to research on DNA and shown this ongoing work to his senior and he asked him to write a letter so he can get approval of his research

He keep sending some envelope and his senior said he didn't get approval

He keep sending

One day he noticed that his senior did not share that envelope to superiors...because it was still in his office

He then send all these details to NASA and they sent a ticket to him

It's not a gender-based but in general though women tends to do more

In this show...

Even if they are showing pakhi trying to hold sai back

They want to show that sai can get through all this without any help, without help means she can fight for her rights

And if they won't show this than virat will never know how pakhi is....

Virat is a person who won't broke his promise until something major happen

So

If pakhi does something to hurt sai which is his responsibility and duty as of now... He will break his promise even before he completely falls for her

(I want Virat to break his promise before he fell for sai )

AND

People are watching this saas bahu and family drama a lot

That's why they are showing all this

There were many shows based on college romance and without any family involved

(In some shows they haven't even shown their family )

But they do not have this much TRP

Though I still believe family drama in GHKKPM is much processed than other show

Where male lead doesn't have a word when the female is being accused, not just male but even female who is being accused by the whole family doesn't say anything just cries

Here, they are showing sai speaking up against wrongs and even Virat supports

Sai even objects those things which we usually fails

E.g when someone asks me to touch feet of a person whom I don't really know I have to do because elders have asked me .but here she objects and that is progressive

Second is when kaku asks her where she is going she doesn't want to tell

Many of us go through this

Why it is necessary to tell others where are they going

She challenged them and didn't told anyone even after so much pressure from everyone including virat

If in upcoming episode bhavani and pakhi says that sai shouldn't go to college

She will objects their rule though virat will support her but She actually doesn't need someone to support her .she can fight for herself

That's why I believe this show is showing the progressive family drama

Originally posted by: jankiraghav

Lovely topic Chaitali! This is a subject I often think about, especially since my work involves analysing a LOT of such women who are nasty to other women within families. Personally, I am blessed to have a set of guardian angels in the disguise of the women in my life, so I cannot say I have personally experienced this. I do not generalise anything because there are exceptions to every rule and I firmly believe in it. But I can put down a few things I have learnt and understood over the years of meeting and hearing such people.

Why do women bring down other women? It sounds so horrible. But it is true. In most cases of mental harassment of a woman, you will find a woman imposing patriarchy more than a man in a household. I think, while there are many, many examples of power pack of women who lift each other up, there are, unfortunately, MORE numbers of women who bring down other women.

I have seen that men tend to get over hurt and differences better than women in general. So, the chance of finding a woman seeking revenge on another woman is more likely than a man seeking revenge on a man. There are many reasons but the biggest is the mental make-up, I feel. Mental make-up that comes from conditioned upbringing. Women are taught to 'compete' for the wrong reasons in societies like ours.

"Look at her, she is fairer than you. She will find a better match". "Look at her, her husband loves her so much he bought her another diamond set". "Look at her, she's so lucky she can spend three days a week in a parlour". "Look at her, she makes her husband dance to her tunes". And of couse, "look at her, she can make better samosas, jalebis, papads and rotis too." 😵

Ab apni pyaari Bhavani Kaku ka hi example dekh lo - she is using the 'weaknesses' of women in her family to pit them against each other. And she thinks that Sai is insecure enough to get affected by Patralekha's beauty and genes.

It is unfortunate but women tend to be more vengeful and therefore turn more bitter during the course of their lives -- a lot of this bitterness has to do with the "forced sacrifices" she has had to make through her life. As you said, while noticing the 'inequality' at home --between males and females or even 'worthy' and 'unworthy' children regardless of sex, then being a subservient wife to a man she may or may not love in her entire life because he could have been thrust upon her by her family. And many such reasons where a woman is left unfulfilled. Women are more emotional than men, generally, as part of their nature and instincts and so, those who are not raised well enough to be able to understand their emotions and channel them in the right direction to be able to deal with circumstances of life are usually the ones who want to find a source to vent out their rage at. So, when there is another woman in their life who could be facing similar situations as they have done, they will revel in that woman's misery. If it is a woman who is getting things her way without the kind of suffering that they have gone through themselves, then they will try to create the hurdles. "If I didn't get it so easy/I did not get it, how can you get it so easy?"

Power factor, of course, because power is intoxicating. So when the power vests with a woman, who:

a) has not channelled her disappointments in life in the right direction b) who derives pleasure from being unjust c) a woman whose target is some other woman who she perceives as the reason for her own disappointments in life (including conformity of perceived value systems, image, family reputation etc) and bears extreme jealousy to; she will end up coming in the way of the progress of the woman, who could have otherwise had an uneventful life.

Characters like Bhavani, Patralekha, Karishma, Sonali, Ashwini and Sai are a reflection of real-life characters we may see all around us.

Thank you Janki. You are right there are guardian angles out there also and all of us find them at some point of our lives. And my title was not to claim there are no such thing as sisterhood out there – we all just find them at different stage of our lives. As always you have covered the topic with your wonderful analysis.

@bold: you have summarized this beautifully. Woman are the driving force behind upholding the patriarchy more compared to man.

@pink: Have heard this all too well. Specially the fairer than you part is all too common. It is the subtle taunts or the outright comments on ones look, skills, intelligence that what has always bothered me personally and I am glad I have spoken up on those comments be it made directly to me or someone else.

@Blue: "If I didn't get it so easy/I did not get it, how can you get it so easy?" This is on the point. I have seen this a lot with a sasu telling her bahu. “Meri saas to mujse be kathor thi”. “Hame to pura din ghunghat me rahe padta tha. Aur them he to tumari sasur or jeth ke same thodi der ke liya bhi aapna pallu nahi dalna”. Etc etc..

At the Power factor - can be intoxicating for sure. We have far too many examples from our world history on this topic alone.

Empty mind is a Devi's workshop - so had the characters like Bhavani, Karishma, Patralekha, Sonali had a life goal we many see less of this backstabbing drama. :).

Originally posted by: Bana

Very insightful & thoughtful posts. Agree with most of the views expressed. Personally fortunate to have grown up in a fairly liberal equitable environment. I have 2 daughters now & always consciously try to encourage them to stand up for themselves & other girls.

On a note of introspection - something I pointed out in a cpl of previous posts: haven’t many of us in this very forum been more critical & harsher on Pakhi than Virat when they were both just as responsible for that idiotic vaada situation & the aftermath? Right fm the start Pakhi has got more hate here than Virat. Just go back & read the posts on the terrace scene, first bedroom scene etc.

This is precisely the psychology the ITV folks tap on.

Thank you Bana. I am very happy to hear that most of gals here have had positive experiences. These reflects the progress our society has made and the continues progress it is making.

@Bold: yes I have been guilty of that too. Have been more harsh on Pakhi than Virat. And there are many analytic posts of reasons why Pakhi has been taking more of a hit compared to Virat - no right or wrong answers to this at all.

With all the drama aside, one thing I defiantly would love to see on screen is future story line is the character growth of Sai, Pakhi and even Karishma - the next generation of Chavan bahus. Three of them with their respective spouse would be something I would love to watch in screen or even an (OS, FF here).

Originally posted by: ..Peppermint..

Not that I haven't gone through such things, I have indeed. But, I'm also very good at throwing bitter people out of my life😆

Pakhi is the type of person that we call "educated fools" and trust me there is an abundance of such people in this world.

Have met many educated fools in life and many have had the NPD personally similarly to PP.

Over time I have learned to simply ignore the existence of the negative people around me and focus on the once who have positive outlook on life.