*Discussion Of The Week #1* Second Marriages - Page 5

Btw im saying all this based on my emotions...but if ever put in this situation, my decisions could be completely different

Originally posted by: heavenlybliss

I would never forgive him if it was me, if he only came back to me after leaving the second one

She thought it was a battle for her life and children, and she won. That's what matters . I don't think I have the strenghth to fight . So I would've easily accepted the other woman. 🤔 After all I am an independant woman. Why should I bother about what others do!. 😕

Originally posted by: heavenlybliss

Btw im saying all this based on my emotions...but if ever put in this situation, my decisions could be completely different

I know. Even I am doing the same. None can predict his/her feelings when such thing happens. I am sure I'll feel cheated. It hurts ..I am sure. But I am trying to prepare myself for it..if it happens.😉

I, personally, don't see a need for a man to have two or more wives in today's society. I'm an ardent believer in equality. It's hard to watch dramas where a woman's worth is completely tied to the man she marries, wherein she has to become the second wife. There's no respect in that. Women should be empowered to be independent. I'd love to see more of that in dramas and less regressiveness. A tall ask, I know. 😊

Originally posted by: awida

She thought it was a battle for her life and children, and she won. That's what matters . I don't think I have the strenghth to fight . So I would've easily accepted the other woman. 🤔 After all I am an independant woman. Why should I bother about what others do!. 😕

Independent women dont need a mann to support them. They can just leave and live their life with self respect. Its usually those women who have nowhere else to go that kill their self respect and stay due to social pressure.

Originally posted by: PyaarSe

I, personally, don't see a need for a man to have two or more wives in today's society. I'm an ardent believer in equality. It's hard to watch dramas where a woman's worth is completely tied to the man she marries, wherein she has to become the second wife. There's no respect in that. Women should be empowered to be independent. I'd love to see more of that in dramas and less regressiveness. A tall ask, I know. 😊

Exactly, but those are women of this generation who value their self respect and know when to walk out. But what about those women who are dependent and have no other source of support? Sometimes they are even pressured by family to accept it.

Originally posted by: heavenlybliss

Independent women dont need a mann to support them. They can just leave and live their life with self respect. Its usually those women who have nowhere else to go that kill their self respect and stay due to social pressure.

I understand independence can also be otherwise. Coz I believe that if your husband got married to another woman it doesn't take anything from your self respect. It is his own choice, it isn't your fault. So why should you bother yourself about it. Stay with your kids. Let them lead a normal life having their father around them. You can live your life , do the things which you like. You will get lots of time for yourself, and improve in your work and studies. It is not all about pleasing him anymore. But why should you seek divorce ? To avoid being called a woman without self respect? What about the family you worked so hard to keep tight?! If I have learned something from my hubby's first wife then it will be this. I know she isn't a working woman. But she has a lot of pride. And I see her as a strong and wise woman too.

See thats the thing, when a woman knows that its not her fault then why should she torture herself and stay in an unhappy marriage? Times have changed and women are not treated as poorly as they used to be, she can easily move on and live her own life and can even find a new husband who will value and respect her as much as she does. Why should she share her husbands love when she can find someone else who loves her?

Men in our society only do second marriage for their own selfish reasons, then they later regret it when the second marriage doesnt turn out to be the fantasy they thought it would be😆 but honestly speaking men are no saints, they can never love both equally or even give them equal rights so its unfair for everyone. Usually they even have kids with the second one and forget all about the first one.

All the men I know here who did second marriage now live with the second wife while first one is all alone with kids.

Originally posted by: heavenlybliss

See thats the thing, when a woman knows that its not her fault then why should she torture herself and stay in an unhappy marriage? Times have changed and women are not treated as poorly as they used to be, she can easily move on and live her own life and can even find a new husband who will value and respect her as much as she does. Why should she share her husbands love when she can find someone else who loves her?

If your kids happiness is yours , then it worths the sacrifise. It is not that easy to find another husband who will be happy taking you with your kids in our society. (We can discuss in the next DOTW thread maybe?😉) .

Men in our society only do second marriage for their own selfish reasons, then they later regret it when the second marriage doesnt turn out to be the fantasy they thought it would be😆 but honestly speaking men are no saints, they can never love both equally or even give them equal rights so its unfair for everyone. Usually they even have kids with the second one and forget all about the first one.

Yes. Equality is impossible, coz feelings can't be divided equally . But if he gives both the wives their rights in his money, time equally, then he isn't a sinner.😊

All the men I know here who did second marriage now live with the second wife while first one is all alone with kids.

And I know other men who started realizing the worth of their first wives only after their second marriages. So they divorced the second ones.😃

Marriage isn't only about love and happiness. It isn't like in fairy tales. It is a sharing of life and responsibilities. A husband and wife relationship is growing by each day they spend togather. Their understanding and completion of eachother matters more than love. So when a husband deside to remarry. You know has a reason. And if a wife weight the benfits of marriage and divorce in your case.. only she can deside what will work for her better.

I feel times have changed and ive seen women get remarried to better husbands who love their kids more than the real fathers.

Even if he divorced the second woman after realising he made a mistake, that is so unfair for both wives. I would never accept such an immature guy.