KZKians Lets come together

Hello Guys,

This is not a warning thread but a humble request from three of us. You all know that the situation is worsening day by day and people are getting very anxious due to this lockdown. Many of us are unable to meet their loved ones and many are fighting their own demons. There are people who are losing their job and some of them might be living a life they have never imagined. Please understand that everyone is becoming sensitive and dealing with their issues their own way which we are unaware of.

We all come to India forums for entertainment and to realize all our pressure and tensions. Does it take a lot of be polite? Can’t we be polite for no reason? Do we really have to be rude and sarcastic if we don’t like someone else’s opinion? Can’t we just politely disagree with the person instead of counter posting in a manner that might hurt the other person? Why do we even want to hurt anyone unknowingly? Can you really stay at peace after knowing that you have hurt an unknown person deeply?

I honestly feel these things can be avoided easily. “Ladai to hamesh chalti rahegi….par kisika dil dukhana uske liye kya jayaz hai? Is it even worth?

Every other day some of us are losing our family members for corona or any other reason. Maybe that person is disturbed in his/her personal front. Can’t we just forgive them and overlook those comments and try to be positive as much as possible?

We hope that you all will understand the purpose of this thread. You are free to express your thoughts. But please keep your discussion positive. You can also mention anyone who has been influential in your life and helped you to remain positive in this pandemic. Also, if anybody wants to talk to us please remember that we are there. You can pm us anytime you want to and talk about anything…we mean anything. Don’t keep things to yourself. Please talk it out. You might not have a solution but you never know from whom you can get it that might help you. If you keep things to yourself no one will know about what demons you are facing. Just don’t hide that will not fetch you anything. Talk to someone you rely. Talk to us if you want to. We promise that we will listen to you without judging and keep things confidential. JUST KNOW THAT WE ARE THERE AND WE MEAN IT.

Few Things that should be kept in mind before posting....

Please do not bring forum issues in this thread.

You are free to post your problems no matter how insignificant you feel they are.

Anybody and everybody can answer in this thread.

Please keep your tone polite.

Do not target any member. Negative discussion on any member is not allowed. However you are free to share positive experience with them. Please don’t make it as a thread for taking out hatred for others. Cyber bulling affects people in ways we can’t imagine.

If someone disagree with any comment just ignore instead of justifying.

Lets make it a better place for us.

Let us help each other out.

Let us keep aside fan wars and help each not as AnyPre, PreRish, Or fans of any celebrity but as fellow humans.

Be healthy, Nourish your mental health with positive thoughts, do good things even if its bringing smile in someone’s face.

Love you all

Tanu, Erum and Appy

(Hoping for some positive outcome)

Disclaimer: This is a one off thread and whatever is allowed to discuss here should remain here only. These discussions shouldn’t be circulated or discussed anywhere apart from this thread, please.

We are facing a global health crisis, this one that is killing people, spreading human suffering, and upending people’s lives. But this is much more than a health crisis. It is a human, economic, and social crisis that is attacking societies at their core. Is it time to hurt ourselves for petty things like serial characters, which are fictional or some personal beliefs?

We must come to the aid of the ultra-vulnerable, millions upon millions of people who are least able to protect themselves from feeling the strong emotions of their inner thoughts This is a matter of basic human solidarity. It is also crucial for combating mental strain. This is the moment to step up for the vulnerable, both physically and mentally.

The pressure is impending, the situation is demanding, the scenes are depressing and asking us to raise for the occasion.

Yes... we have to, we have to hug the sufferers of depression, we must know how to share and care, this is the high time to show solidarity, humanity is retreating backward because of fear, the impending losses we all have to face now, maybe in the form of finances, or in the way of losing the way amidst further move of careers, hopes are receding, many human lives lost their presence, yes... this is not time to hurt others, this is time to understand the trivialities of life , to hug and to give solace. Let us form like a circle to safeguard the interests of each and every IFian. We are a family, one big family, with friendly attachments. Let us share our fears and sorrows just like we did till now, sharing our happiness and smiles in good times.

Here, every hand is tender enough to wipe the tear of a close friend, here every heart is ready to strengthen the hope of the other, Yes ... we are here for each and everyone, we are one in this hour of demanding situations.

Let us show the IF Culture to the entire world, that is sharing miseries and caring for tender feelings. We, the IF members are here in solidarity with our worldwide IF members to show our concerns for each and every member's distress and difficulty.Let us seek solutions from each other for the impending troubles in such hard times. 🤗❤️ We are all united for this cause, and I am sure we will be able to move forward with a smile on our faces, taking action and using our traditional knowledge and practices as well as preventive measures, ready to take disproportionate risks and ready to put an all-out effort to save the lives and protect the future of our own members and fellow humans on earth.

It is an appeal, an appeal to unite to fight with these hard times. 🤗

Sometimes we forget there is real life behind over celeb , . sometimes unknowingly , knowingly we go over board in fighting or dictating others during fangirling. Sometimes Forget , These are only fictional character only ..They will not serve our life. Over fighting sometimes turns in bullying for others in personal level which we never could realize . we dont think twice people could have diffrent opinion , second thoughts.. if we could not respect those, but atleast disrespect toh na kare openly.. cos who knows , my own action could be a mental harassment or mental torture for others unknowingly .in virtual worlds we dont have to face others directly so kiska mai mai us waqt keya beete hai no one could imagine sitting infront the screen..

and Rudeness judgmental behavior never prove the true enthusiasm of fangirling .Recently i have faced similar kind of issues in SM so i could directly relate with this.

Times are actually tough for all of us. So definitely we should control ourselves involving in over doing be it in fangirling, be it for defending to our fav celeb or be it in fighting for fictional character .. at the end our mental peace is matter. n kindness has it's own power, without being rude or hurting others we could point out our POV. yah i am not saint at all , sometimes knowingly , unknowingly i too did a lot of things which probably i should not do . but in actual now will definitely try to be better version of myself in future , not bitter at least. this is not moral policing , actually my inner realization from heart ..

Mods, Nice and initiative Step, keep it up . 👍🏼

It's actually good to see the focus upon mental health in the wake of a recent tragedy. I appreciate the good intention behind this thread.

I think everyone here is battling issues in varying degrees. Some may have come to face with these demons recently, while others may be battling with their demons since years. I'd like to convey that every moment of victory against the ingrained sorrow matters...regardless of how big or small it is.

Regarding the influence, I've been reading poetry since a decade and even writing it down. It helps. And...reading poems by someone experiencing a similar crisis makes one feel s/he isn't alone. It connects the nameless and faceless strangers.

Lastly, in our tireless quest for something big and also due to our miseries, we often overlook small moments of unadulterated bliss. Slow down and behold. Let me share a poem close to my heart. ❤️

Slow Dance
by David L. Weatherford

Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round,

or listened to rain slapping the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight,
or gazed at the sun fading into the night?

You better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.

Do you run through each day on the fly,
when you ask "How are you?", do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed,
with the next hundred chores running through your head?

You better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.

Ever told your child, we'll do it tomorrow,
and in your haste, not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch, let a friendship die,
'cause you never had time to call and say hi?

You better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere,
you miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,
it's like an unopened gift thrown away.

Life isn't a race, so take it slower,
hear the music before your song is over.

^ goosebumps Shruti... what a beautiful Poem it is <3

I loved reading your posts Opsara and Wishtfulness. ❤️ It is a privilege being with such revered members of this IF.🤗

It is really a great effort from the Mods to make it clear that --

Discussions are always better than arguments because an argument is to find out who is right, and a discussion is to find what is right! 😊

Over the years, watching a particular serial, unknowingly we start to develop a sort of attachment with a few characters and start believing that, those fictional characters are more real and dear to us than the surrounding friends' real feelings towards our online relationships!

Parasocial relationships are unrequited relationships with persons or characters that the admirer is unable to meet. These are one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona/ the character, is completely unaware of the other's existence. It is a very interesting subject for the literature reviews on how parasocial relationships influence the creators/writers' minds to the extent of taking the story further and farther with their abilities and imaginations in their efforts of making them more real. With the plethora of television series and movies that people talk about nowadays, it seems that people relate to the characters in this visual media and running behind mirages to clinch their thirst to see more, to explore further. There are some who also take their liking of a character to a higher level by dressing up or “cosplaying” as the character for conventions!! Which I have seen in my BV watching days. Many foreign viewers in those days asked their spouses who visited India on official duties, the fangirls used to ask them to bring a few Rajasthani dresses to showcase their liking of their fav character Anandi!!

Furthermore, some make their own creations using these characters through fanart in the form of siggies and VMs and fanfiction. These works are then shared across the forums and fandoms! And then they further develop the bond with these characters, often, the attachments being formed to these characters resemble friendships or even crushes. If these characters are fictional, how do people become so attached to them, and why to fight with your own fellow members and friends who are more real than these fictional ones?

Are we unable to come out from those emotional bondings? Maybe... I am saying this because I suffered a mental block for a few days when they removed a popular face and introduced a new face there in BV.

With shattered dreams of watching the SR of that much-loved pair( Hmn... listening to a few titters from the readers!!) started hating watching that serial, now there is no Anandi or Shiv , only depression, though the serial was continued with new faces and further dreams for many more.

With that depression and longing, I entered into the IF, to share my grief, my thoughts and further my stories on that pair!

Many interesting stories in my 5-year span of IF journey. I will share with you later.

Let us respect each and everyone's attractions, attachments, and expressions and make our journey an interesting one in the association of many friendships and bondings.🤗

So glad to see this thread in the wake of recent times. Yes we all irrespective of our preferences and differences can be in harmony with each other without any arguments. Someone had rightly said behind a beautiful smile lays secrets darker than darkness itself. We in our fangirling forget that even the actors are humans. We forget that just like we get hurt by someone saying something hateful even the actors feel the same way. We forget that for something fictional we might actually hurt someone personally. In the wake of the recent news I hope we all have realised that there is no meaning in arguments. It will only lead to bitterness among all of us. Instead we should accept all the differences amongst us and be happy with each other. Yes the path to be in harmony with each other might be hard. But we can try taking baby steps towards it.

Sometimes due to mental stress and anxiety people speak up something which they dont mean to. We as Koeli said should understand that they might be going through some problems hence are feeling like that. We should instead of getting riled up try to make that person feel better. I havent been in depression but I know who is and still is fighting with it. I know how much it hurts her when she wants to voice out her depression but then it comes out as anger. And when you retort to that person with anger they feel even more upset. A sad truth but its true. The pain which that person goes through claws me as I cant help her to lessen her pain. I can only be there for her and support her when she is down.

Mental health is a serious issue but the problem which lies in communication. A person who is going through it knows that he/she have people around them who love them truly but what they fear is that you might misunderstand them or might brush them off. When they actually come up to us we will say that we are there to help them. But are we? Are we ready to listen to them talk about their pain and fears? Are we ready to sit patiently and listen to what they are going through?

If yes then only we can be actually helpful to them.

A person who is going through this doesnt want you to say. "Its alright. We will get help. You will become fine." No it will hurt them even more.

Instead what we should say. "Its okay. Let everything out. It doesnt matter, I am always there for you."

This will make them realise that you are there for them. They will know that they have a reason to fight for, They will know that they are wanted,

Last thing I would like to apologize for anything intentionally and unintentionally I did which hurt someone. My eyes have opened due to the recent problems and I genuinely am regretting anything I did which made you feel upset. I hope that from now onwards I come better than what I was in past.

Qaynaat ka ek ajeeb dastur hai

Jab koi that toh nahi jaana usse

Aur ab jab woh humse dur hai

Toh hume hai paana usse

I would love to thank all the three moderators for such a lovely thread. My admiration for all of you has grown even more.

I feel happy to see this initiative by the mods.

As a psychologist, I have always supported that Mental health is important in every aspect and every field. Mental health problems are common but help is available. We are here to promise to be a good listener and to not jugde you. If you feel like eating or sleeping too much or too little, pulling away from people and usual activities, have low or no energy or feel numb or like nothing matters, then may be you are in an early stage of depression.

You don't need to feel helpless or hopeless, because depression and mental health problems are more common than you can think of and trust me, you are not the only one going through this.

I have come across many people and have helped them, so I promise that I would try my best to help you if you need some.

I once came across a case where, when a boy wanted to share his problems with one of hia friend, the friend said 'I am not sitting here to hear your ***** ronaa..." that affected the boy so much that he finally needed professional help and came to us, thank god he did before he was too late. He lost his confidence to talk about ot to any other friend or person. If he should have been listened than might be he had felt light and found a solution for his problem.

What I want to say is, everyone needs to understand to listen to everything your friend wants to share, even if you're not interested because you never know, you may be helping them in someway or other.

Here on IF, none of us or very few people know each other personally and trust me when I say that sharing your worries with strangers is easier. Because they won't judge you and feel glad to help you.

You just need to stay connected to others and positive in life and you are just capable enough to cope with and conquer the mental health problems.

So all you need to do is just talk, talk to anyone and just let it all out. It's a friendly and a psychologist's advise too.

Thanks a lot for this thread Appy. I knew what you were thinking and seeing this thread I knew something like this was coming up.

Whatever you've written is absolutely true and now with entire world fighting every moment with something we don't have a solution to that as of now. We don't know what anyone might be facing in their real lives.

My respect for all the 3 mods has grown tremendously especially you Appy as I know these are not just words from you .... you actually mean and follow them. I can never thank you enough for your support to me in my toughest times. I would never be able to express what you meant to me that night when I was witnessing the loss of the most special person in my life... my Mom and even today. Thank you Appy dil se🤗🤗🤗🤗. Love and hugs for what you are as a person ❤️🤗