In one of my all time favorite movies, Hey Ram, a calm, peace loving, moderate man, Saket Ram (played by Kamal Haasan), goes through a traumatic, life-altering experience, when his beloved wife, Aparna, is brutally raped and killed in communal riots right in front of his eyes. Does a person who suffers a personal loss in such a traumatic way ever be the same person as before? No. His helplessness, guilt and self-loathing turns into hatred and revenge, as he was not able to protect his wife when she was tortured and killed. Completely shaken by the traumatic experience, he takes his gun and goes out to hunt those men who killed his wife. While he gets his revenge, he ends up killing an innocent muslim man as well. Is he really happy after revenge? No. He goes away to his hometown and marries another girl, Mythili, who with her gentle love and understanding heals him a bit. Then he meets his old friend at a party, whose traumatic story during the partition times triggers his hatred again. Trauma can drive people to do things they would not do normally. Each person reacts to trauma differently. Each stage of trauma is different as well. One thing is certain, people grow tremendously in a positive manner when they are forced to fight their inner demons. They have a better understanding of people and they are more accepting of people. When Saket Ram comes face to face with Mahatma Gandhi to kill him, as he sees him as the demon responsible for the partition of his motherland, he ends up identifying his own demons inside him. There is always a conscience inside us and it always forces us back onto the right path even when we are momentarily swayed by circumstances.
Noor is going through such trauma of losing her mother, who has been her anchor all her life. She lost her fiance, whom she just started weaving her dreams around. It is traumatic. Noor will never be the same again. Margayi Noor. She feels helpless as she couldn't save them and she feels guilty for Faiz's untimely death, as his mother blamed her. She is angry at Shayra for a while, as she thinks she was responsible for fire, by Shayra's own admission (though I believe its Khalid who did it and he has a strong motive). Now she is in self-destructive mode, harming herself someway (committing suicide) or the other(marrying Khalid), drowning in depression, fighting desperately for a puff of hope and love. That happens to be Azaan for her. He can calm her fears and reason with her even when she is obstinate. He is the one who calmed her mad anger against Shayra, though she was not able to forgive her yet. Her world is limited with her mother and Azaan at the center of it. She doesn't have many people to rely on. When she says she wants Azaan from Shayra, she feels that love gets precedence over friendship. Honestly, like any family, they tried to cover up the fire accident case and didn't cooperate with the police properly, because Shayra took the blame on herself. They are worried about family reputation. In Noor's mind, Azaan's wife got the precedence over his friend. Right now she is fighting for herself and with herself. She knows when she is not doing something right but she can't help it. At some point she will realize that she is hurting the people who matter to her the most in this madness she is going through. Eventually (hopefully), she will expand her world and grow as a person by fighting her own demons. Ideally, I want Noor to leave that place and end up in a place where she can help people in need. Helping others would empower her and she will be away from the setting that triggers her trauma all the time. Some time away from it will help her think with a calmer mind. She will one day shine more brilliant than before. After all, a diamond forms because of pressure and it shines better after its cut and polished!
* Just a small observation about Khalid, he has an abusive mother. Thats long term repetitive trauma and it has affected him psychologically. I don't think such people can form healthy relationships in their adult life. His obsession with Noor is creepy. He is probably looking for a version of his mother in all the women he meets. He would always try to gain control over the life of any woman in his life, because he hates being controlled by his mother. *
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