Beauty was a curse to be borne, not a blessing
And who can know this better than me. I always dreamed about a fairytale marriage. Being not much good in my studies, I couldn't even complete my 12th. But people around me never made me feel low because of that. They used to talk about how beautiful I am and how good I cook and always used to say that someday a handsome prince will come and marry me. And I used to day dream about it! And then the day came! Rajdeep came into my life. Handsome, has his own business. Everyone said that no RISHTA can be better than this for me, everyone... except Mouli. Mouli is my best friend since I was three! She is completely opposite of me. Her aim in life is to be a doctor and being with her for so long, it also has turned into my dream too, to see her as a doctor! But that day... she didn't want me to marry Rajdeep.. But how could I stop this marriage! My parents had some dreams for me and the RISHTA was already done! When she asked me to choose between her and Rajdeep, I couldn't say anything... How can anyone expect me to choose between Mouli and Rajdeep... I was silent... and Mouli left forever.. From my life... And I still regret that... I wish I had chosen Mouli instead! At least I wouldn't have died every day in the name of a married life!
Rajdeep doesn't love me! He never loved me! He makes love to me though, but that can't really be called love making, because all he does is to fulfill his own sexual desires! He makes me wear beautiful costly sarees to make sure that I look desirable to everyone! Outside, in front of other people he usually treats me very well! With all the sugar quoting... praising my beauty... my cooking skills... What a fabulous wife I am and all and in private, he keeps reminding me how unworthy I am and that he married me because of my physical beauty only...sometimes he doesn't even care that we are surrounded by a no of outsiders! And physical abuse... what can I say, he invents a hundred ways to torture and torment me!!... My dreams died a silent death in all these years! He was supposed to be my prince riding a white horse na???? But no ... I shouldn't say all these about Rajdeep, he is my husband!! And he gave me a place to sleep, he brings the food for my plate and he gives me the clothes to wear and more than everything, he gives me the position of a married woman in the society!! We all know what are happening all around us!! We open a newspaper and we witness the things happening all around... the hyenas all around don't even leave an 8 months old girl... I have seen how some men look at me ... it just makes me sick... but they are Rajdeep's guests... I can't offend them or Rajdeep will be angry! And I can't make him angry or he will torture me in a worse way!! And I don't even have a place to go and I don't earn money!!Where will I go if Rajdeep throws me out in anger!! I must not make him angry!!I must not!! I remember my last birthday, I made him angry and he left me in the hotel and I was so scared! I am new to the city and I didn't know how to reach home! But he came back, he was back to take me home! Maybe in his heart, there is tiny place for me!!Life is not a fairytale and I must put some efforts to make it work right?? Sometimes I wish that I am not just a beautiful asset to him but a real human being with feelings!! Sometimes a hope arises inside me that he is the prince and someday the curse on him of being THE BEAST will leave him and the prince will come out and love me in Real!! I think I should try a little more and he will change!!
But what if he is only the MONSTER... Where is the prince then??
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