Posted:
How is it punishment? In Islam the entire responsibility of getting married and all its expense is the sole responsibility of the man not even his family, but he himself. When he gives Talaq to his wife she leaves with all her Mehar, any gifts she received from him or his family during the tenure of their marriage and he is now high and dry and alone. If he now wants to get married, he has to go through all the expense all over again. Meanwhile when her Iddat (waiting period) is over, in the Islamic system where there is no taboo on marrying a divorcee, she will get a proposal and get married and live happily with a new husband while her ex-husband is wandering around alone. If he wants to get married, he has to go through the entire process and expense all over again. If there are children from her previous marriage the husband has to support them until they reach a stage when they are not in need of support. This means that he pays for their upkeep, education all the way to university, until they are earning their own livelihood and for their marriages. All this is expense and punishment for him.
The wife can get married and her new husband is not liable to spend a single paisa (cent) on the upkeep of his wife's children from her previous marriage. They are entirely their father's responsibility. As for the wife, she is rid of a silly man who was more than likely not much of a husband anyway. If she doesn't get married and he wants to marry her again, he can't do that until she gets married to someone else, the marriage is consummated and she is divorced again or he dies. So she is gone as far as he is concerned. That is his punishment for being hasty in divorcing by pronouncing divorce thrice instead of once which is the correct Islamic way.
Aaisha (Radiyallahu Anha) reports that Rasoolullah said: "The Nikah with the most Baraka is that Nikah wherein the least expense was incurred. (Musnad Ahmad)
Abu Hurayrah (RA) said: Rasoolullah said: "If someone whose religious commitment and attitude pleases you proposes marriage, then marry [your female relative under your charge] to him. If you do not do that, there will be tribulation in the land and much corruption. (Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, considered sahih by Albani).
Unfortunately, in India, Muslims have turned their own law upside down and have made marriage extremely difficult and expensive and loaded all the expense on the bride and her family which is not the way of Islam at all. Add to this the evil of dowry which we have adopted with the result that men have no shame in demanding it and parents of the bride are forced to cough up the ransom for their daughter. We have all kinds of shameless ways of asking for it. Add to this all the different Haraam customs and practices that we practice in our weddings and the entire process is a punishment for the woman and her family. On top of that Muslim men are misusing the Talaq and instead of following the Sunnah are committing Haraam and divorcing their wives without giving themselves a chance at reconciliation which Islam intends.
This has resulted in a huge number of Muslim women being abandoned by their husbands who divorced them in a fit of anger or because of their ignorance about the way to divorce their wives. Added to this is the taboo in India of marrying a divorced woman that is again unislamic, which results in young girls being condemned to live their lives as virtual widows unable to get married again.
What must also be acknowledged, is that the reason for the hardship that Muslim women are facing is not the triple Talaq but the unnecessary expenses that brides and their families incur to get married. Nobody talks about that while everyone is raving about triple Talaq. I say to them, Recognize and own the problem, if you want a solution. If you are going to ignore the real cause of the problem and focus on one of its fallouts, then the problem will still remain.' Ask yourself what will be achieved as far as avoiding hardship to the bride if she gets divorced in three months instead of instantly, when her hardship is directly related to the money her family spent on her wedding, despite the fact that Islam specifically prohibited it? Muslims like to talk about Islam only when they are in trouble. They happily ignore the values of Islam and when as a result of that they get into trouble, they start calling out to Ulama to help them. Ask them which A'alim gave them permission to pay dowry or to spend millions in useless, showing off to conduct a wedding that people forget half an hour later anyway? What caused hardship to the bride is not the Talaq but the fact that her father spent a fortune on her marriage.
The usual excuse given is that if they don't pay dowry and don't have all the needless functions, then their daughter will remain unmarried. My answer is, 'Even if that is so, which is better? That she remains in your house unmarried and you still have your wealth which you and your daughter can use? Or you spend that wealth uselessly and she returns home to live with you anyway? Only, now you have lost your wealth and are in debt?' So even in a worst case scenario, paying dowry and incurring expenses for ostentatious weddings is a completely useless act. And prohibited and Haraam in Islam and punishable before Allah .
It is therefore very important to counsel married and to-be married people to follow the Sunnah in marriage and in Talaq. Conduct simple weddings with the bride's family not incurring any expense at all. And if a Talaq becomes inevitable, then do it the Sunnah way one Talaq only in the clean period and not commit Haraam by giving Talaq thrice at the same time. Unfortunately, since this is not mentioned many Muslims believe that they have to give Talaq thrice compulsorily in order to divorce their wives, whereas the reality is that to do so is Haraam and a major sin punishable by Allah .
It is the responsibility of those planning to get married to learn the rules that govern marriage and ensure that they follow them. Imams must make the proper way to give Talaq a topic of the Juma (Friday) Khutba and educate their congregations. Community organizations must organize marriage workshops where young couples and counseled on the correct Islamic way of getting married. And finally, all ostentatious marriages and marriages where dowry has been taken must be boycotted, especially by community leaders, family elders and religious scholars. Only then will the seriousness of this matter be driven home to people so that this obnoxious social evil of expensive marriages and express Talaqs will be eradicated. Marriage is a serious responsibility and a commitment for which the spouses and their families are accountable to Allah . May Allah guide us to demonstrate the beauty of Islam by practicing it and not bring Islam into disrepute because of our own ignorance and misguidance
The wife can get married and her new husband is not liable to spend a single paisa (cent) on the upkeep of his wife's children from her previous marriage. They are entirely their father's responsibility. As for the wife, she is rid of a silly man who was more than likely not much of a husband anyway. If she doesn't get married and he wants to marry her again, he can't do that until she gets married to someone else, the marriage is consummated and she is divorced again or he dies. So she is gone as far as he is concerned. That is his punishment for being hasty in divorcing by pronouncing divorce thrice instead of once which is the correct Islamic way.
Aaisha (Radiyallahu Anha) reports that Rasoolullah said: "The Nikah with the most Baraka is that Nikah wherein the least expense was incurred. (Musnad Ahmad)
Abu Hurayrah (RA) said: Rasoolullah said: "If someone whose religious commitment and attitude pleases you proposes marriage, then marry [your female relative under your charge] to him. If you do not do that, there will be tribulation in the land and much corruption. (Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, considered sahih by Albani).
Unfortunately, in India, Muslims have turned their own law upside down and have made marriage extremely difficult and expensive and loaded all the expense on the bride and her family which is not the way of Islam at all. Add to this the evil of dowry which we have adopted with the result that men have no shame in demanding it and parents of the bride are forced to cough up the ransom for their daughter. We have all kinds of shameless ways of asking for it. Add to this all the different Haraam customs and practices that we practice in our weddings and the entire process is a punishment for the woman and her family. On top of that Muslim men are misusing the Talaq and instead of following the Sunnah are committing Haraam and divorcing their wives without giving themselves a chance at reconciliation which Islam intends.
This has resulted in a huge number of Muslim women being abandoned by their husbands who divorced them in a fit of anger or because of their ignorance about the way to divorce their wives. Added to this is the taboo in India of marrying a divorced woman that is again unislamic, which results in young girls being condemned to live their lives as virtual widows unable to get married again.
What must also be acknowledged, is that the reason for the hardship that Muslim women are facing is not the triple Talaq but the unnecessary expenses that brides and their families incur to get married. Nobody talks about that while everyone is raving about triple Talaq. I say to them, Recognize and own the problem, if you want a solution. If you are going to ignore the real cause of the problem and focus on one of its fallouts, then the problem will still remain.' Ask yourself what will be achieved as far as avoiding hardship to the bride if she gets divorced in three months instead of instantly, when her hardship is directly related to the money her family spent on her wedding, despite the fact that Islam specifically prohibited it? Muslims like to talk about Islam only when they are in trouble. They happily ignore the values of Islam and when as a result of that they get into trouble, they start calling out to Ulama to help them. Ask them which A'alim gave them permission to pay dowry or to spend millions in useless, showing off to conduct a wedding that people forget half an hour later anyway? What caused hardship to the bride is not the Talaq but the fact that her father spent a fortune on her marriage.
The usual excuse given is that if they don't pay dowry and don't have all the needless functions, then their daughter will remain unmarried. My answer is, 'Even if that is so, which is better? That she remains in your house unmarried and you still have your wealth which you and your daughter can use? Or you spend that wealth uselessly and she returns home to live with you anyway? Only, now you have lost your wealth and are in debt?' So even in a worst case scenario, paying dowry and incurring expenses for ostentatious weddings is a completely useless act. And prohibited and Haraam in Islam and punishable before Allah .
It is therefore very important to counsel married and to-be married people to follow the Sunnah in marriage and in Talaq. Conduct simple weddings with the bride's family not incurring any expense at all. And if a Talaq becomes inevitable, then do it the Sunnah way one Talaq only in the clean period and not commit Haraam by giving Talaq thrice at the same time. Unfortunately, since this is not mentioned many Muslims believe that they have to give Talaq thrice compulsorily in order to divorce their wives, whereas the reality is that to do so is Haraam and a major sin punishable by Allah .
It is the responsibility of those planning to get married to learn the rules that govern marriage and ensure that they follow them. Imams must make the proper way to give Talaq a topic of the Juma (Friday) Khutba and educate their congregations. Community organizations must organize marriage workshops where young couples and counseled on the correct Islamic way of getting married. And finally, all ostentatious marriages and marriages where dowry has been taken must be boycotted, especially by community leaders, family elders and religious scholars. Only then will the seriousness of this matter be driven home to people so that this obnoxious social evil of expensive marriages and express Talaqs will be eradicated. Marriage is a serious responsibility and a commitment for which the spouses and their families are accountable to Allah . May Allah guide us to demonstrate the beauty of Islam by practicing it and not bring Islam into disrepute because of our own ignorance and misguidance
comment:
p_commentcount