Pt 21 Updated Pg 146: Predator Turns Prey Advni FF- Page 38

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sanchita1410 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
Chitra just started to read ur ff
Edited by --sanchita-- - 8 years ago
2filmy thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
will review the update today
momai14 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
read it in one go...loving the storyline
2filmy thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
Sorry did not get time
Now I am free
Now will do a detailed analysis
Invisible123456 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
Hi Chitra!!! Finally managed to read updates 7 to 10 in one go!

What a beautiful, emotional, sexy read!!!!

I cried at the emotional bits (especially the sea calling to her and advay's reaction) and hyperventilated at all the steamy bits... really hot!

I also loved the normal couple like typical mumbai stuff they did by going to the sea, kala khatta, pav bhaji etc etc. I like the romance in such day to day scenes!

Overall i read a lot but i only left me craving for more. Your first few chapters were great but the latest updates are mind-blowing and out of the world!

I loved that she fell for Advay because adult love is different from childhood love. Knowing that her adult love Advay is also her childhood love should only add to the beauty!

If she kept true to her childhood love and loved Advay only after knowing he is Dev then it is an injustice to the adult Dev has become. So I love your version.

Please write a lot more and keep the progress slow so that we get to read a lot morw from you!! 😊
ChitraGS thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: pentu82

Hi Chitra!!! Finally managed to read updates 7 to 10 in one go!

What a beautiful, emotional, sexy read!!!!

I cried at the emotional bits (especially the sea calling to her and advay's reaction) and hyperventilated at all the steamy bits... really hot!

I also loved the normal couple like typical mumbai stuff they did by going to the sea, kala khatta, pav bhaji etc etc. I like the romance in such day to day scenes!

Overall i read a lot but i only left me craving for more. Your first few chapters were great but the latest updates are mind-blowing and out of the world!

I loved that she fell for Advay because adult love is different from childhood love. Knowing that her adult love Advay is also her childhood love should only add to the beauty!

If she kept true to her childhood love and loved Advay only after knowing he is Dev then it is an injustice to the adult Dev has become. So I love your version.

Please write a lot more and keep the progress slow so that we get to read a lot morw from you!! 😊


Hi Sudha

WOOW

thanks, Finally the much awaited review. I was dying to hear what you thought of the steamy scenes as I wrote them with your demand for steamy romance in mind, I am glad i have not disappointed you,
You cried during, the sea calling her scene, actually i cried when writing it, Trust me that sequence was emotionally draining , the entire sequence, including the first time between the two. Gosh i was like exhausted, shattered.

but the second scene was the worst IMO, i wrote it in three different way, and finally got it right, at least got it up to what i was trying to say. 😆
i have realised one thing, writing steamy scenes is the worst thing, its hardwork, trying to sound aesthetic as well as managing to invoke all the right tingling in a reader.
so i am glad u liked it, all of you liked it . I am over the moon.

Wow yaar, thanks that you feel the latest updates have been mind blowing. I think its also due to fact that the story has moved along.
Oh thank god, you are happy with this take of mine, that she should fall for Advay for who he is. Thank good ness for that 😃

Yes i am going to take it a lil slow for now. Want an organic progression, and also want the two to spend some romantic moments together. So yes there are a few updates in store for sure. and then i might go on to write a darker version. Tho i haven't decided yet, But once this finishes then i might give the dark story a thought.
ChitraGS thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: saxena_hgt

Hello amazing reviews wali Chitraji.. looks like u r magnificent story wali Chitraji too.. from d time u have mentioned u r writing ff on your review thread, i was searching it.. & finally found this treasure.. man u r writing out of this world.. finally someone will do justice to this so much potential wala plot with such amazing intense wale characters... & Your love making scenes were so mesmerising, i got totally lost in them.. very well done.. pardon my vanishing act.. my lil angel only allows me lil time, so although from time to time i was reading your & 2flimy which i guess is priya, post but was not able to comment.. but your story compelled me to write so atleast u know that u have one more fan.. i have bookmarked this story.. felt like after ages i have done this on IF.. & will there till d end of this story..

I m so happy to find another twilight fanatic like me.. i have lost count how many times i have read d novel.. Edward is my dream man for sure.. & Cullens my fav family.. have u read Midnight sun partial draft too? It is 1st novel written in Edward's point of view.. Ms. Meyer was supposed to write 1st part from Edward's pov but left it halfway.. but still however much it is, its a must read.. & i can't tell u how much i love thousand years.. perfect fit for advay & chandani.. come to think of it, i loved most of d soundtracks of this series be it bella's lullaby or d music played at d end of NM or supermassive black hole, list can go on.. most of us who love Edward have skipped NM be it novel or movie, rt till d very end when finally brooding prince charming makes re entry..

Wow looks like i have written more about twilight.. incase u doubt, i repeat i just love your story.. cheers..


Hello Saxena_hgt ji,

How are you , Long time no hear. I know you are busy with your baby yaara. So no worries, I am glad that you have still managed to find the time to write a lenghtly review

Thanks a lot for all ur wonderful words. I am glad the love making scenes have ended up sounding aesthetic, tho it was pain in the backside writing them HAHA

OMG u too a Twilight Fan, ME IJJ OVER THE MOON !!!

No i haven't read Midnight sun, will try and find ti online. Tho i read another draft called
Aurora borealis, where her daughter is a teenager, minor but in her early teens, and it has a few more characters with magical abilities introduced to it. Charlie finds out about Bellas truth, and also Bella is able to project a part of her outside of her, like her alter ego,. And this book had a final battle scene with the volturis, in which they kill them all for real. Its a good read it. and its called
Arurora Borealis as Renesme, bella daughter, is able to summon the magnetic field of the aurora borealis and is able to project it upon the Voltuirs in the end. I like the story, it was really good.

but i will read Midnight sun for sure, thanks for letting me know abt this book.

Look forward to hearing from you again, and i am glad u have bookmarked my FF, trust me i have written a lot of the future parts, and its going to get really interesting, I am happy with my interpretation of This Advay - Dev- chandini triangle HAHA 😆
ChitraGS thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: ASRkiMoonlight

This is fabulous!!

You are redeeming Advays character and how
So heartwarming to see him showering so much love on her
His caring nature, the way he's healing her get her out of her fears
To treating her to a unforgetable evening at the beach
Everything speaks volumes about the kind of love he has for Chandni
Loved every part from h e a r t
👏❤️


Hi Asr ki Moonlight , I love ur UN !!! 😳

Yes i am trying to redeem him, but also i think this is who he is. He always loved her but stopped himself from getting close to her. But now he is able to go back to being himself., and ASR is a cool guy.
Yes he heals her and lets her heal him in the process. i think the fact that she is there in his life now has an healing effect on him, just her presence is filling the hole in his heart.

Thanks yaar, i am glad ur loved the story so far, and i am really flattered that you like my interpretation of Advay 😳 🤗
ChitraGS thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: bellaaa

Damn ... Loved every bit of ths story

Well written updates
Cont soon


Hi Bella, thank u so much I am glad u loved it.

Yes will continue,

cheers, Chitra 😳
ChitraGS thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: 2filmy

This is the review for the 6th part of the update

So Advay is still drinking
He is trying to control his emotions now
He is not angry or upset with Chandni
But still the past torments him a lot
He wanted justice but he was worried about its effect on Chandni ?
He feels Chandni will be upset if her family is punished ?

He knows only Chandni can heal him and make him whole again
I love Advay in all colors as he looks stunning in all of them
Finally he asked about Indrani some how controlling his fury
Does Chandni know about the childhood scar on his hand from Indrani ?
Can she recognize it now ? Can she identity it now ?
He feels bad that she is hurting to talk about Indrani
But I think they both need this now
Chandni needs to pour out all her pain to Advay
Advay needs to know her feelings for her mom
Oh her plea to Advay to not hate her is so heart wrenching
It directly hits your heart and u feel for her so much
Truly he is all she has for a family now
And with that he confesses that he can never hate her
He has tried a lot to hate her and he failed to do so
He hates himself for it and also for wanting to do so
What complicated emotions and feelings he has for her
His resolved melted and he is ready to give Chandni what she wishes
He will make love to her again and make her whole
The fire of desire was burning in both their hearts
And it would only be put off temporarily by their passionate love making
Even in this stare he is so concerned for her well being
Her trust in him gutted in his heart as he knew what he had planned to do earlier
For the first time she is taking charge and Advay is just letting her do as she pleases
Lastly they both found their identities with each other
They understood they both belonged to each other completely
They were one and no one could change that any more


Hi Priya,

Thanks for you incredible review of my chapters, once again.

I am so flattered ,that you have taken the time to give a detailed analysis of every aspect of every part. UFF i am on CLOUD 9, this is too much to handle. ME IJJ EMOTIONAL NOW 😭 .
GIVE ME A BIG WALA 🤗 MERA PYARA SA BACHCHA MERA PRINCESS !!!

Answering ur question above

He wanted justice but he was worried about its effect on Chandni ?
He feels Chandni will be upset if her family is punished ?

No he is worried that in the process of Justice, Chandini too might get into trouble as she was the one who testified against his mother, So even tho she was child, he doesnt want to take any risks by put her into harms way. So he feels that if he opens the case, then police may take her in for an enquiry etc, and trouble her and maybe even sentence her for a short while. He doesnt know the extent but he doest want to take any risks.
Also yes he is worried, that it might upset her to find out that her parents are criminals. Only mother not father. In my story Yash is not a criminal, so only her mother and her aunts. So yes he is worried and doesnt want to cause can pain or trouble to her.

Does Chandni know about the childhood scar on his hand from Indrani ?
Can she recognize it now ? Can she identity it now ?

ofcourse she knows Dev was hit by Indrani, as Dev shielded her , so it happened in front of her eyes. As for the mark it is a faint one, will she identify it , Now that remains a mystery for now and you will have to wait for it 😆

Also priya u have asked me why he was drinking in a different review

Well he starts drinking as he is drinking casually, with his dinner. Its just something he does occasionally or something he does when he doesnt dine with his family. Just a social drinking habit lets say.
But as she starts to pour her heart out abt her past, and also brings back memories of his parents, that fateful day of thier murder, he wants to get drunk to distract himself and ease the pain in his heart.
He is carrying a burden on his heart, and add to it , he has just found out Chandini is innocent and also that he was unfair in calling her characterless and more so in assuming that she could betray Dev and mother someone else's child. So its all that , that eating him from inside, and the fact that he has hurt her emotionally, as well as physically now not realising that she was a virgin,
So its a combo of a lot of things.
so just casual drinking turned into getting drunk on purpose, to erase his pain. Also getting drunk on wine , is hardly getting drunk IMO, as wine is quite a classy soothing drink provided you like it, So even tho he is drinking he is still reasonable, and he is still in the aware fo his actions.
Edited by ChitraGS - 8 years ago

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