~ATTACHMENTS~
(Index in post below. Buddy me for PMs.)
[CHAPTER ONE: FANTASIES]
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From: ishana@alliance.com
To: anika@oberoipr.com
Subject: Last Night
Goood afternoon, Screecher!
Did you see Omkara at lunch? Surely I'm not the only one who has noticed that violins seem to play whenever he walks past and that his hair always blows seductively in the breeze, even if there is no breeze.
Anyways, just to ensure that we don't have a repeat of the Christmas Party Incident of last year, what are you wearing to the party tonight? Jeez am I ever glad I look better in yellow than you. I don't know why you chose that dress anyway, while it made me look like a dazzling sunflower... you just looked jaundiced.
Much love,
Isha
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From: Anika
To: Ishana
Subject: The Yellow Dress
It did not make me look jaundiced!
Also, I seriously do not understand your obsession with Omkara. He is obsessed with that hair of his (which, might I just add makes him look like a girl). He probably carries around one of those fans you can attach to your phone just so he can have a breeze on demand and as for the violin? He's rich enough to pay a midget to low-key follow him around and play one every where he goes.
Anika
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From: Ishana
To: Anika
Subject: Omkara
Do you know what jaundice is? According to Google:
a medical condition with yellowing of the skin
It goes on for a bit but basically, your skin looked yellow when you wore that dress. You looked jaundiced. Would you like me to attach a photo?
Anika, please don't let your feelings about Satan Singh Oberoi leech over and taint your perspective of my angel, Omkara. Even if he did pay a midget to follow him around with a violin, it would be like a walking statue of Adonis and we should all be grateful that he would choose to soundtrack his presence for us.
Love,
Isha
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From: Anika
To: Ishana
Subject: Mention Jaundice Again
I dare you.
Ishana by talking about HIM straight after lunch, you do realise that you've now ensured I won't be able to digest any of my food? Also, I totally forgot to tell you what he said to me this morning!
"Anika if you write one more mind-numbing Tweet from R-Bank 's account, I will personally take over and Tweet that the previous account holder has been murdered in order to preserve everyone's sanity."
Erm, does he realise how boring Financial PR is? I was trying to make R-Bank the cool bank, like that guy who ran the Oxford St. Waterstones account (did you hear he got married to a woman who loved his Tweets? )
But no. That's far too much fun for His Highness. So it's back to responding to that guy who keeps trying to buy @rbank off me so he can use it as his Rapper Name.
Anika
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From: Ishana
To: Anika
Subject: R-Bank Tweets
I saw those! Buzzfeed even did an article on it, you know? Top 10 Things You Won't BELIEVE the R-Bank Twitter Account Actually Tweeted.
So as far as PR goes, you were actually doing a pretty good job. But as we both know, SSO doesn't care. You could literally do something which got one of your clients Knighted and he'd still hate you. I maintain that it's because he wants to tear your clothes off with his teeth/ burn them off with his piercing gaze... but since every time I suggest that you threaten to strangle me in my sleep, I'll just silently think it to myself instead.
I hear you're going to be working with us soon btw, since we're completely upgrading all the software we use. It's about freaking time. My computer here still runs Windows Vista... I know.
Also seriously? They got married? That is the cutest thing. And people say Digital Romance isn't real.
Love,
Isha
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From: Anika
To: Ishana
Subject: THE DEMON HAS STRUCK AGAIN
He just came out of his office and oh so casually peeked over my shoulder at my screen as he walked past. And he saw me on Buzzfeed (I wanted to print out that article you mentioned and staple it to his stupid face).
So he's all "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Working?"
"How is Buzzfeed working? It was pretty much created to distract people from doing any work."
"That's not true. What if you work at Buzzfeed?"
"Do you work at Buzzfeed, Anika?"
"Yes. This whole Oberoi PR thing is just for an undercover article."
"I bet you think you're sooo funny, don't you?"
"Yes, I do. Mostly because I am."
"You're fired."
"For what?"
"For being annoying."
"That's not a valid reason."
"It is for me. I own the company."
"I'll complain to HR."
"Oh, you mean to my cousin?"
"Yes."
"Go ahead."
"I'm not fired."
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are."
Yeah... that went on for a while.
He then just stormed off back to his office and slammed the door like a petulant child.
Also, Ishana, typing is not silently thinking. And don't silently think it either There is NOTHING to think. There's NOTHING between me and SSO. NOTHING.
And there never will be, either!
Anika
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From: s.singhoberoi@oberoipr.com
To: o.singhoberoi@oberoipr.com
Subject: That Girl
I beg of you, fire her.
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From: Omkara Singh Oberoi
To: Shivaay Singh Oberoi
Subject: Firing Employees
I can't just fire people, Shivaay. You need to give me valid cause.
Before you reply, please note the use of the word valid before the word cause.
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From: Shivaay Singh Oberoi
To: Omkara Singh Oberoi
Subject: What Constitutes "Valid"?
I am the boss. Surely irritating the boss so much that he cannot focus on anything except throttling one particular employee is a valid enough reason to fire aforementioned employee?
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From: Omkara Singh Oberoi
To: Shivaay Singh Oberoi
Subject: Throttling Employees
What you get up to in the privacy of your own bedroom is totally up to you. But please refrain from acting out your kinky bedroom practices in the office.
The Legal Department would probably frown upon that kind of thing.
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From: Shivaay Singh Oberoi
To: Omkara Singh Oberoi
Subject: You're Lucky You're My Brother
Because otherwise I would have killed you many, many times over.
Like I'd ever let that creature into my bedroom. For any reason. Let alone that kind of reason.
Please don't make me vomit, Om, I just ate lunch.
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From: Omkara Singh Oberoi
To: Shivaay Singh Oberoi
Subject: Methinks
The Lady Doth Protest Too Much.
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From: Shivaay Singh Oberoi
To: Omkara Singh Oberoi
Subject: And Methinks
Omkara is going to get o-Kara-te chopped in the throat if he carries on making wild and baseless accusations.
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From: Shivaay Singh Oberoi
To: t.kapoor@ladieswholunch.com
Subject: You
You're perfect and I just want you to know I would never be interested in any other woman. Especially not super annoying ones who think they're hilarious and never do what I tell them to.
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From: Tia Kapoor
To: Shivaay Singh Oberoi
Subject: AWWW
BABYYY THAT'S SO SWEET OF YOU.
I'VE BEEN DOING REIKI ALL DAY AND SENDING YOU LOADS OF POSITIVE VIBES. I GUESS THIS IS PROOF THEY REACHED YOU.
YOU'RE PERFECT ALSO.
LOVE YOUUU
XXX
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From: Omkara Singh Oberoi
To: r.singhoberoi@uoc.com
Subject: Shivaay
Rudra, we have a problem.
Shivaay is definitely in love with a girl at the office. We're talking BDSM fantasies level love here.
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From: Rudra Singh Oberoi
To: Omkara Singh Oberoi
Subject: Bhaiya
Why doesn't Shivaay Bhaiya ever tell ME about his BDSM fantasies? This is so unfair. đ
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From: Omkara Singh Oberoi
To: Rudra Singh Oberoi
Subject: Why Shivaay Doesn't Tell You Anything
Because you're 20 years old and have a dumbbell where your brain should be.
I knew asking you was a mistake.
Go back to the gym.
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Note: Hey everyone, this is my first Ishqbaaz FF. It overlaps slightly with my IPKKND FF 'Inbox Insanity', but that's because I needed the Ishqbaaz characters to pad out that story (seriously why were there so few characters in IPK?), so it's not at all necessary for you to read one in order to enjoy/ understand the other. It's just a bit of a treat for me to write and for anyone who enjoys both shows as much as I do to read.
My main aim with these e-mail stories is to make you laugh and hopefully brighten your days, even if just a little, and I hope I manage to do that. Thank you all so much for reading xxx
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