Raman seeking middle ground in life *NOTE pg 14*

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-Gan-

@-Gan-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

"Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be,
since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be."
Thomas Kempis

there were some wrong things said...some wrongs pointed out...some wrong words hurled...but somehow I get Raman more today than yesterday...

~Edited

Yes Raman told Ishita stuff that were hurtful and wrong because the wedding was not solely her responsibility and neither the fact that none of the Bhallas said anything when Ishita proposed the solution of Rinky Mihir marriage...so if doing something impulsive is wrong, so is wrong the silent acceptance. Raman cannot avoid accountability just because he didn't say anything.

That aside, the one shot of him looking at Ishita while she's wiping her tears...was the moment I connected to Raman's behavior. He's standing now at a situation when things are getting worser day by day...and he's trying to find solutions to some to bring some semblance of normalcy. And for that he wants Ishita's support...as she somehow has always been able to get through in situations where things looked impossible. And today when she chose to stand on the opposite side...he reacted. Not because he feels she's wrong, but because somehow in his conscience he knows she's not and this is not the ideal solution but more of a compromise...and he's not ignorant of that. He just wants one less headache in life, because right now he's in neck deep of life's challenges: his work situation, Adi's custody, mother's non-stop melodrama, reservation about Rinky Mihir's marriage success, and Romi-Sarika situation. ..and he lashed out at the Ishita in whom he has always found support from...but not today.

While I'm not defending the words he uttered today, to me it felt like a normal husband and wife fight. I grew up in a joint family home and I have seen my parents fight over family issues in front of the family and when tempers flare, wrong words come out. His words were hurtful, but the intent was stemming more from frustration of not having Ishita's support rather than blaming her for all the things. I have been upset with RKB many times because of his callous words, and while the words are wrong...this is the RKB I know. The man who sort of has the last word in his family scenario, and today his wife openly went against his wishes and he was reacting to that. Was he a jerk? his words were..but not him. He had been a jerk the last few days when his wife was getting insulted and he just stood there as a statue.

Hope I make sense.

Edited by GanBarunFan - 11 years ago

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mar_21

@mar_21

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

Hi Gan, Sorry... I'm for the first time on ur thread gonna disagree with you here as I for once couldn't connect with Raman when he saw Ishita wiping her tears today. I love puttar a lot (who doesn't over here) But for me he behaved like a complete JERK today. I was totally disappointed with him today, even more than for his inaction in yesterday's episode.

U know after his verbal spat when he saw Ishita crying n wiping her tears n then moving to the kitchen area on the pretext of serving snacks, I expected Raman to at least give a sorry look at her before leaving the room ( or even a sad look emoting that he didn't mean to hurt her this way), but with the coldness he left the room left a very bad taste in my mouth...It seems like Ishita's tears jus don't bother him!!! And on the other side he can do anything when he sees his mother weeping for unreasonable & illogical reasons!!

Had that girl stopped the Bhallas from approaching Sarika?!! No!! Heck she only said that she would not approach her in this respect as she felt that Romi was not ready for this marriage. She said it was jus her opinion and she was not pressing her opinion on him or the Bhallas. What was wrong in that Raman? Why it is always that it is only Raman who has the right to get angry on her and vent out so much of anguish on her and she has to always take it in her stride to understand that her husband doesn't mean anything what he says when he is angry. Above all, why does Raman always shows so much of disrespect for their relationship in front of other people and repents later in the confines of his room.

I'm not going back to recall those harsh words which Puttar has hurled upon Biwi because it hurts to recall those baseless words. This outburst from Puttar has hurted me more than Shagun's words. 😭😭

Puttar...Where was this anger hidden when ur ex-wife was hurling abuses to ur wife in the last 2 episodes..😡😡

Ishita... What should I say about this lady... Today if one asks me to make a choice between who loves who the most between Ishra...I would undoubtedly pick Ishita over Raman... This woman loves her LOVE in whole, with all the shortcomings and imperfection. No matter what he does she will be the first one to stand for him in his times of need and take a stand for him. Puttar, don't take her love for granted.

Edited by mischief - 11 years ago

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Anu

@RomComFan

Rocker

Posted: 11 years ago

Res...for taking it out on the one who always had your back, rather then talking it out. 😔

---EDIT---

G... thanks for the pic and post I really needed it. The episode, the episode just left me so disappointed. I'm a little sad, a lot disappointed and very apprehensive. My thoughts are a bit all over the place today so I hope you will indulge me. I am not going to go into who is right or wrong, because they both had their points. For me, I think it came down to the place from which they were taking their positions on this issue. Raman was looking at it, as you said, from the place of wanting to protect his family and save his mom from her GKC fever and making the best decision he could. But Ishita, who generally takes the same vantage point, looked at the issue form the POV of Sarika and the baby. Therein lies the problem and the disagreement.

Ishita

After everything she said, I think there is also a deeper reason, an unconscious reason for Ishita's current support of Sarika,especially after the words that were said to her yesterday. Since she found out about her infertility, Ishita has been judged and branded over and over again by society and now even her family; and by this I am not just talking about the ridiculous GKC rants but I also consider the silence during yesterday as acceptance of those terms by the Bhallas. And in Sarika she sees another woman judged and branded by society because of her womb and childbearing capabilities.

First the Bhallas (most of them) didn't want Sarika because she wasn't good enough and was considered cheap, and now that they have no option they are turning to her- not that they think any more of her now mind you, it's just that only she can help and give them the heir they want. Consider this situation with what Ishita faced, first society ridiculed and judged her for her infertility and mocked her attempts to create the life she wanted through adoption (including Raman for a moment) and her bond with Ru then when they (the Bhallas) had no choice they turned to her, again not out of any great affection for her but because though her they could get custody of their heiress.

For Ishita at least there was the purity of Ru's love for her... for Sarika... what? Ishita's life improved and was enriched by her marriage mostly because of Ru, even the friendship and love that was born of the marriage was thanks in part to their Ru. But for Sarika- how will her life change or improve in this marriage? What will she get except a family that tolerates her and a man she no longer trusts? Yes, ofcourse they too could have a great love story, but this is not the way about it. And what does Sarika have to hold on to until this love story comes- Ishita had Ru's love, is the love of her baby, the only reason they are willing to accept her, enough? It's not quite the same , the love of an infant for a mother a a desperate for affection 6 year old for her mother I think...

Raman

RKB is completely in character and between a rock and a hard place, I get that, I get him-but it seems to me he doesn't want to understand Ishita. He knows her position, he sees the rightness in it but doesn't want to understand it because if he does then he's got to readjust his thinking. He values ISHRU but right now , as always, he is putting the good of the family before even perhaps his own happiness and pushing for them as she often does. But at some point he has to choose his own happiness, they both do.

The Family

Really what bothered me today was the Bhallas. Not Raman, but his family. Raman atleast understands his wife, though he refuses to acknowledge it- they don't even try. How utterly selfish they are. 😡 Their spectatorship reminded me of when Shagun instigated the fight between ISHRA about Mihir and just stood back and watched. These two are fighting it out for them, as always and they are saying nothing? What? are they staying out of it? Now? When these two bend over backwards to help them sort out their crap they can't step in and try to top this from going too far when they know it's for them? Ridiculous.

Yea okay, tomorrow they will all come up with some cutesy plan to bring them together and give them a nice Holi before the A-bomb drops...so what? This is the same stupid cycle over and over again. They are draining the life and love out of this couple and I am sick of it. ISHRA need to stand up and stop fighting with each other for the family and start fighting with the family for themselves...and if it takes a separation, Shagun's demand and its consequences or a blast from Ishu's past for it to happen I am okay with that. Bring it on. It can't come fast enough as far as I am concerned.😊

I am not sure if this makes sense, but in my head this does... At the end of the day I know he loves her and she him and I know that he can't see her hurt but he keeps hurting her over and over agin, almost deliberately , and breaking almost every promisse he made in his vows to her... all for the sake of family. And maybe what they both need is a good shock, whatever the means to make them realize that they can't keep putting themselves last.

Okay... after all that I need some cheering up here are a few GIFs to remind us of the times what was going on this time last year...

..😳

..And some ISHRARU moments... which will apparently get rare these days..😭😭

Edited by RomComFan - 11 years ago

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-kri-

@-kri-

Sparkler

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

So, we are on the same page now...😆

Anyways, drama is reaching its peak soon... In between , we have breather in the form of Holi and lollipop romance... 😉

Raman is going to commit another mistake now... He's going to sign some papers which is going to take him away from his daughter too... His life has been totally messed up yaar... He needs time to deal with it... And Ishita will eventually become his support system in this battle against Shagun...

Yeh barter system (Adi for Ruhi) drama toh TRP ke liye hi hoga but i want a message at the end... Adi must start seeing the evil side of his loving mom and Raman must start realising the value of Ruhi...Puttar ka yeh ajeeb aadat hai... Unless he's pushed to the edge, he never realises the value of people whom he loves...

So, redemption is on its way... Just hope that cv's deal with it in a sensible manner...

Edited by krikumar.91 - 11 years ago

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-K.13-

@-K.13-

Sparkler

Posted: 11 years ago

Gan - I love your perspective on Raman's outburst. It's not justified and what he said was not alright, but I sort of get it - when you're angry/stressed, things spew out. I don't care what the reason for the argument was about but Ishita and Raman need to sit down and talk about how they handle situations. Ishita cannot constantly be a punching bag for when times get tough, and just like Raman needs to control his tongue, she needs to voice that to Raman. Just crying isn't going to address the issue but a conversation, which is so lacking in their relationship, will.

The entire failed Rinki-Nikhil marriage thing makes no sense to be because throughout the planning the CVs went out of their way to emphasize how Ishita had very little to do with the background checking of the marriage. Heck, both Raman & Ishita were forced into making the marriage happen. So I don't understand why in hades the blame has fallen onto Ishita...Is it to make her look like a bechari? Is to show the Bhallas are taking advantage of her? I just don't get it!

Related, I'm not a fan at all of how Raman can burst at his wife for no reason but not speak up when the situation demands it. To some degree, it is disrespectful to their marriage for this double standard in Raman raising his voice.

IMHO, that's not the Raman I grew to love last year. Last year - he would yell at everyone if the situation demanded it, but now it's just Ishita that gets the short end of the stick (& usually the situation does not demand the yelling). Why is that?

I want to see Raman and Ishita working together because right now all the storyline, to me, looks like a disjointed story between bechari, most often right female lead & rude, huge mistake making male lead. That's fine because to some degree that's the characterization of Ishita & Raman, but since the timeslot change, there have been few tracks where Raman doesn't look weak or like a jerk to his wife or with the duo working synchronously.

Also - I'm happy Sarika stood her ground today! Truthfully, Raman & Ishita need to stay out of this mess and let Romi and Mrs. Bhalla handle it in their own pathetic way. They both need to let Romi & Mrs. Bhalla learn on their own. Earlier it was Ishita's butting in that made things bad and now Raman's butting in. Both times one of them butt in, it was at the expense of their relationship.

Like Romi told Ishita today - he thinks with marriage things will fall into place like they did for Raman & Ishita. To some degree, this is what Ishita wants for Rinki-Mihir, and so I can sort of where Raman's rationale for Sarika-Romi is. Only difference - Romi is a blundering idiot, and Mrs. Bhalla's rantings is what pushed Raman to make this decision so it doesn't seem right. Both of these relationships are wanting to be built on the same hope that "things will work out like they did for Raman & Ishita" and both of these relationships are being forged incredibly hastily and under different pressures...which couple will survive the test of time, jaane ko dekhe Yeh Hai Mohabbatein sirf Star Plus par.

Puttar is royally stupid at the moment and has a short fuse but I still #lub him

#Buckle up
#Looks like a very bumpy ride ahead

#TRP ke liye...#Kuch bhi

Edited by krishy13 - 11 years ago

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Mehak Ashraf

@Mehak_KPian

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

Update soon. 😛
*edited*
OMG. Gan, you totally spoke my words. 🤗 I saw people over here bashing Puttar. How he was rude but I told in one of the other post that he might be rude but he didn't said anything deliberately. He has been in too much of tensions, that he wanted to take out his anger on someone and that was accidentally Ishita. She has always supported him and has always understood him and when he didnot get that support system from her. He took out all his anger on her. Which is normal for a husband. And Ishu too understands it.

Edited by ..Mehak.. - 11 years ago

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Coco

@---CoCo---

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

res

"Anybody can become angry " that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way " that is not within everybody's power and is not easy." ~Aristotle

"And I just want to tell you, at some point it doesn't matter who was right and who was wrong. At some point, being angry is just another bad habit, like smoking, and you keep poisoning

yourself without thinking about it." ~ Jonathan Tropper, This is Where I Leave You

The most melancholy thing about human nature, is, that a man may guide others into the path of salvation, without walking in it himself; that he may be a pilot, and yet a castaway. ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827

---Edited---

Gan I love your input on puttar and I totally agree with you. I said it yesterday on your post that both Ishita and Raman are right in their pov but Ishita's pov overshadows Ramans by far. Maybe I am being biased because I am a woman but what's wrong is wrong and what's right is right. I fully understand Raman however I really dont like the Bhalla double standard and the way Raman handles situations. Maybe because I enjoy watching calm Ishita make mistakes and decisions. Because of family pressure, he is not seeing other people's side. One thing Raman surely has gotten from his mother his blind love for family. It is great to love your family but being blind will damage not harm you but the family member too. Look what both Adi and Romi. As much as he is in pressure, he should have asked Romi what he wanted to because Romi is never going to become responsible or grow up if his brother or parents never let him make his decisions. I am glad Ishita asked Romi what he wanted.

I understand Ishita's point of view because her self has been a victim of people's judgement. Her self is respect has always been target. I am glad Ishita is thinking the a woman and not like a daughter in law just to save her devars and her family's respect (Although nothing in wrong with but at times the victim never gets the justice they deserve). To be honest Sarika owns nothing to the Bhallas because they are selfish, ungrateful people. The only reason Ishita puts up with them is because of Ruhi. Ruhi is her strength and main reason for her entrance in the Bhalla house. Who does Sarika have..Romi? And why should she get back with Romi for child's sake. This is the same man who denied that he was the father. The whoIe Bhalla clan disrespected her. Coming to Sarika, she stood up for her self. And I am glad she rejected Raman's proposal. Unfortunately, what Sarika said is the harsh truth about our society. Woman will always be blamed and nobody will say anything to the male.

As much as I love RKB his words were harsh and unnecessary for him to blame Ishita for everything. She wasn't even present most of the time in this whole Nikhal fiasco. Also I never saw anyone objecting to any of her decisions. And when they do, they end up in situations like the Romi fiasco. I will never understand the Bhallas, when they need to open their mouths they never do and when they should keep their mouths shut, they say so much unnecessary stuff. Yet the Raman we saw today was not out of his personality. I know people are saying they want the old RKB back but if you think about it is him. Raman whenever frustrated takes his anger out on the people he loves the most. Because he knows no matter what happens they will always love him. He is horrible at communicating his feelings at all. So the best way he knows how is yelling and taking his frustration out. Please dont think I am defending him, I am not. I do not agree with his actions at all and he should learn how to deal with bad situations in a calm way.

***Note***:

This is my feelings about the coming track. I think Shagun is a horrible woman. And Raman knows how Shagun is should reject all her out of court settlements. He has a better chance of not loosing both his children if he goes to court. Shagun is not a parent so she will not understand you cant trade one child or another. I feel bad for Ishita that she has to lose her child because the Bhallas are to much of CKG. This is such a ridiculous and illogical track. Child swap seriously? Are you running out of ideas for logical tracks and then you can ask your audience for help. We have such great writers on this forum and wont mind helping you. Ill give you one. How about focusing one track on the lead's relationship. Is that to much to ask. Is too much to ask not to see Shagun more than the leads or not to see her on our screens for a month.

Great review today Gan. It was nice to read some positive input on today's episode.

Edited by cocololo123 - 11 years ago

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Sunita

@avni_19

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

RES

Edited..

Gan Di, I liked the outburst you pointed out in Raman... BUT, my opinion is different.. I think Raman should control his anger.. Baap re.. itna gussa.. I felt terrible for Ishita. Its true that only a husband can lash out on his wife in the worst situations and he did the same but sabke saamne??by saying.. meri behen ki zindagi tune barbad kia and stuff?? Toh kal yeh shaadi hua, tab koi kuch kyun nahi bola? If Raman had an objection regarding Mihir-Rinky marriage, he should have stopped Ishita right then. Why did he join with Mihir and hugged him, allowed the marriage to happen?

I think Im not making sense here.. Because Im totally angry with puttar but I still love him!😆

Raman was terribly harsh and rude with Ishita today 😡 Ab dekho, this will stretch forward and Puttar will do even worse things now by signing the papers given by Apshagun... Haad hai.. He is unaware about Adi- Ruhi getting swapped. Shittt!!! Its crazyyy... and I think that's when the third thapad comes on the way. Way to go Ishita. Puttar is an emotional guy, he falls into traps very easily. He is confused as much as Romi.. Romi has to deal with baacha issue, Raman has almost everything to deal... Hmph! *I feel for you man*!

One thing which I loved by RKB today was in the Office, faceoff with Ashok. Chalo, RKB knocked some sense into Ashok's brain to act like a businessman and stop being a kiddo.. Kudos to that! Aaj pehli baar Ashok ke paas bholne keliye kuch nahi tha.. WONDERFUL!👏

Sarikaaa... Im confused about this lady.. I never liked her wee bit..Right from her entry and I have mentioned it too... I have a different perspective here regarding Sarika.. What if she gave him the wrong report about Romi's impotent issue when he is NOT actually, just to teach him a lesson and make him learn to respect women? Can it be that? Or some thing else? a revenge kind? Err..Confused!

Now with all this outburst, i fear one thing.. a distance between Raman-Mihir relationship???

I just read two to three spoilers regarding Holi... An OLV is also out... By connecting with the OLV, I feel spoilers are right! IshRa C n C gonna happen in BEHOSH State! Unacceptable CVs! Not excited.. Agar pure hosh mei ho toh, phir dekhlenge!😉

Edited by avni_19 - 11 years ago

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victo

@victo

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

Nice quote and the picture

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Eyes-Wide-Shut

@Eyes-Wide-Shut

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#10

"So it's true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love."

- E A. Bucchianeri

I have to study so I will be back to update but I must say this:

I get it that puttar is stuck between a rock and a hard place but this when you become an adult and share your problems with the one who stands by you no matter what, the one you have failed to protect, the one who you have let down again and again..only because you have taken her for granted. I am sorry I love puttar, I really do but like all the Bhallas, puttar has taken Ishita for granted and the biggest tragic flaw of ishita is her unfathomable love for Ruhi.

The Bhallas know that no matter what they do to Ishita or how they treat her, she will be there by them because of her love for Ruhi. I have never felt bad for a character as much as I feel bad for Ishita. Puttar is flawed and so is the missus but Puttar needs to SPEAK to biwi and not scream whereas missus needs to STAND UP for herself and not take the verbal abuse hurled at her.

#Puttar prove me wrong...PLEASE

#Be the man you once were that we all fell in love with

#I still love you puttar but I am disappointed in myself for loving you

#Toshiji is a lost cause

May I suggest something drastic, I want Ishita to move out with Ruhi, not to teach anyone lesson but I want these two just leave this madness where no one seems to care for them, I want them to be happy with each other.