Contemplating the Repercussions of a Broken Marriage - Page 4

Originally posted by: banana.ishra

SUPERB POST...BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN PAYAL...

EWS-AWESOME POST...

Originally posted by: munnihyderabad

This is beautifully written Payal👏, the song, quotes and everything you mentioned here are brilliant.⭐️

Thank you so much!

I love love episodes like these, which strike the raw nerve, yes it was no doubt a harsh one to see when a kid challenges to be thrown into jail and live without parents like others.Nothing can be more devastating for parent to hear those words, when their kid says, he prefers to live a life of an orphan ..it twitches one's heart, sheer devastating to a parent listening and seeing the hatred in his kid's eyes.

I cannot agree more. Its moments like this in the show which remind me why I love it so much. Amidst the hindi serial masala drama, we have such poignant moments that strike a deep chord and make us sit up and contemplate the deeper issues.

The hatred in Adi's eyes for Raman yesterday was gut-wrenching.

Adi is not to be blamed, a child with no proper nurture and guidance is like a kite without a string, directionless, aimless, which mostly tears apart, stuck on the branches of a tree. Adi is just like no proper guidance or time, Shagun only gave him money and comforts, rather than time and affection, that is where she failed as a parent.

Agreed. The child was 5 years old when he was turned against his father and since, has been brought up in an environment where everyone has their own personal vendetta. Love the kite metaphor you've used. Adi desperately needs to be nurtured.

People are using and manipulating Adi and maneuvering him the way they want to, Ashok used him to humiliate the Bhalla's on Adi's bday, Shagun used Adi to play the emotional card on Raman, now Param is using the same kid to trap Ishita in jail case or in this trap. Had Raman and Shagun been together, today Adi wouldn't be the same Adi. lack of affection, lack of love and time and care from both parents, which most kids in school have, while Adi doesn't. not just one or two incidents, but various things go into the mind of a kid 24x7.

True, Adi has been used as a pawn since the divorce. But even before that, Shagun always degraded RKB in front of Adi - telling him his father couldn't provide for him and would never amount to anything. It's sad. A parent should never turn their child on their spouse. I find it to be cruel. After IshRa's marriage, even when IshRa didn't see eye to eye, Ishita always assured Ruhi of Raman's love, always covered up his flaws in front of Ruhi. That's what a parent does. Shagun unfortunately used her son...and continues to, as her hukkum ka ikka. And yes, unfortunately, he is now being used against IshRa by everyone around him.

I have to say, I don't think RKB and Shagun needed to stay together to ensure Adi had a proper upbringing. Its the manner in which the divorce was handled - how the child was used to settle Shagun & Ashok's personal vendetta. A lot of children are victims of divorced parents, but that doesn't mean they turn into problem children. I think what sealed Adi's fate was the restraining order. If not for that, Raman would never have been extracted from his life, and he would have had the love and guidance of the Bhallas.

And regarding Shagun as a single parent, let me put it this way...there is a cart, with 2 wheels, and a delicate, fragile doll on it, one of the wheel comes off the cart, can the other wheel pull the cart ?? it can't, the cart topples and the delicate fragile glass doll (refer a kid in separation) breaks. this is what happened to Adi.,

I love your metaphors. I stand with the opinion that Shagun, though she loves Adi, did not know how to properly channel that love. She let her materialistic outlook get in the way of raising her son.

Parenting is not a course, it is something which parents learn each day, one day mom makes mistake in dealing with the child, the dad tells her this is how you and shows her how to do and what to do in a particular situation. Similarly if dad doesn't handle the kid in a right way, mom shows him and tells him, what should be done and how it should be done. Together as parents, they learn on a day to basis and impart the best of the two minds to the kid. that is why parents stick together for kids irrespective of their differences in most of the cases.

Well said. As parents, mom n dad are in it together, making up for what each other lacks, correcting each other's mistakes, facing the plethora of issues thrown at them on a daily basis together, and figuring out how to fix the issues. But, I do not think parents need to live under one roof to do this effectively. They just need to communicate. I think the biggest problem with Adi is that Raman was unceremoniously cut out of his life...and Ashok never stepped in like he should have.

I don't have kids, but as life doesn't come with cliffs notes, neither does parenting. There is no prepping yourself for it - its one of those things where you learn on the job and make mistakes and learn from them on a daily basis. Parent's are not perfect, and sadly, sometimes, not only do kids fail to see this, but parents believe they have to be superhuman - they put too much pressure on themselves and forget that they are allowed to make mistakes.

Shagun even though she loves Adi, she dealt in a wrong way with all money and comforts, but there was no father for Adi, to teach his mother (Shagun) and no partner for Shagun to reprimand her ways of dealing with a kid. Her decisions were always based on what is easier, rather than what is right or wrong. That is where this single mom failed to impart the right nurture to her kid.

Agreed - as I said above. The problem is Adi didn't have a father figure, and Shagun's love was misguided...she didn't know where she was going wrong.

@Bold: I couldn't agree more.

and more points I have added in the other topic, which u have replied.

I am glad I came to the forum today, this is a brilliant write up !!

Thank you so much, I'm so glad that you shared your thoughts as well!

Originally posted by: -Payal-

I'm ashamed because I don't know your name, and I feel like I should! Please introduce yourself!!

Thank you so much for your kind words.

I agree completely with what you've said about Shagun. She's self-centered, and that's what gets in her way 99% of the time. I think she'll be in for a big reality check in the coming weeks and I look forward to seeing how her character will be handled. (I'm praying that it doesn't go the typical Indian soap way...but, I won't hold my breath.)

I couldn't agree more that all of the protagonists are but victims of circumstance. I really want to see Adi and RKBs relationship mended some day...I think they are the only ones who can heal each other.

Thank you so much for sharing this quotation. I'm adding it to my personal collection. It's perfect. I too believe that people are inherently good...and it's their reaction to the circumstances they find themselves in, how they play the card they're dealt, which makes all the difference.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!

Originally posted by: -Anku-

A wonderful wonderful post. And a mature outlook towards the story so far.👏

Thank you so much. The episode struck a chord and this was the result.

I mostly agree with whatever you've said. Starting with Adi. That poor kid has borne so much right from his childhood. He saw his parents separate. He was fed with lies against his father making him feel the man didn't love him, could harm him. Father got restraining orders and couldn't interact with the child anymore further increasing his insecurities and bitterness. The child was dejected because his mother and the man in her life sent him away from home too. Adi has never got the feeling of a real family ever. All he has is a bunch of insecurities to deal with. His mother didn't have time to give and his father never came to him. For him its further enraging when the man he pines for is actually moving on in life. His sister is getting all that he deserves too. A loving family, grandparents, relatives, and especially the undivided attention of their father. The only thing that provides security to him is Shagun. Now he feels threatened that might get snatched too and is getting angry and overreacting. He has gone through the most amount of pain in this situation and unfortunately has never had anyone to make him change his mind.

Wow. And now I am in awe of you. I have nothing to add to this. You've said it all so so well, and I couldn't agree more with you on every point here. The bottom line, as you said, is that Adi has never truly felt as though he has any family. For a child to be deprived of such a nurturing environment at such a ripe age is simply heartbreaking.

Coming to Raman, that man honestly is as much a victim as Adi is. He obviously never wished for his marriage to break, for his son to hate him, for his wife to be such an opportunist. It must be so hard for him to see his son be so bitter about him, not want to be claimed as his son at all. He's been desperate on another level to see some love in the eyes of his son for himself. The restraining orders were another blow that stopped the father from even bonding with the son. It must further hurt to see the son so bitter and spoilt.

Agree completely that RKB is definitely as much a victim as Adi. I cannot imagine how it must feel for a parent to see his child hate him so much ...for a child to ask you to emancipate him. I can't tell you how deeply it affects me every time I see Adi spit venom at RKB and reject his love. It breaks my heart every time.

I only disagree with you when it comes to Shagun. I don't think what she did was pardonable. Yes she is allowed to not be happy in a marriage and want to walk out of it. She is allowed to have her own share of happiness. But she messed a lot for her selfish motives. She killed her son's innocence by never teaching him the difference between right and wrong. Making him as materialistic as she was and poisoned him with hatred about his own family and father. She cheated her husband, who went out of his way to give her all she wanted. She abandoned a baby girl who needed her as much as the son did. YES she loves Adi, there's no doubt in it. But she knows nothing about parenting, love, family and relations. She's selfish and that is what her character trait has always been.

I'm not making excuses for Shagun - I do think she could have handled the divorce and her children better. I don't think Adi should have been used as a pawn for her personal gain, I don't see the need to serve RKB with a restraining order (though, I think that was more Ashok's doing, than Shaguns), and I don't think she gave Adi the care and love he needed when it was all happening. She wasnt able to give her child the security he needed at the time. And I cannot disagree - she's deprived him of family and an understanding of the importance of relationships.

But like you've etched through this topic and what the show conveys. A divorce isn't between just two people, it affects a lot of people around them. Especially the kids involved.

Thank you so much and I appreciate your sharing your thoughts as well. I couldn't agree more with your take on it as well.

Originally posted by: cocololo123

Res

---Edited---

Sorry Payal I am late on my reply but I really wanted to get this right! I loved how you describe Raman, Ishita, and Adi's thoughts. Amazing. I dont know how you do it.

Please don't apologize, you're not late at all...I'm still working on responding to all the brilliant takes everyone has posted here.

Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm embarrassed.

Shagun:

The problem with Shagun is not that fact she left Raman for Ashok because everyone deserves to be happy and everyone deserves love. She didnt love Raman but its how she left and the reasons she left. She had two little children with Raman and she never once considered their feelings or thought about them at all, that's my problem with Shagun. Ruhi was only 6 months old when she left Raman and at that stage of a child's life a mother has a more important role in the child's life than a father. She didnt even once consider Ruhi. And there was Adi who was 5 or 6 when his mother took that harsh decision to suddenly leave his father. She used him like a pawn. She made him lie in court and she turned him against Raman. This kid was only 5 when faced so much negativity. Also I hate the fact she left Raman for money and its not because she loved Ashok as a person. Its because Ashok fulfilled her materialistic needs.

I couldnt agree with you more. Its not the fact that she walked out - it's the manner in which she did it. I'm not too worried about Ru because she was still growing up in a very nurturing environment with her grandparents and aunts/uncle. Adi on the other hand, was not only, as you said, used as a pawn, but he was uprooted and sent away to live alone away from everything he's ever known. I can't disagree that Shagun didn't love Ashok when she left RKB. She was lured by materialistic and social gain and nothing more. I also will go so far as to say that making Adi lie in court and getting a restraining order against RKB was Ashok's master stroke - I believe he influenced her and used both Shagun and Adi against RKB.

Raman:

Raman loves his kids more than anything in world. He married a women he hated because his daughter choose her mother. Lucky for him this same women became his second chance at happiness. Because Shagun turned Adi against him, his desire for his son love turned him blind against his wrong doings. His approval for wanting Adi to love him is not wrong at all, but it also turned Raman into a desperate father. It was until Ishita come into his life he realized he was still Adi father and no matter how much he hated him, he still had a responsibility towards. It will be Raman with the help of Ishita that will turn Adi into a good person.

Of course Adi is Raman's weakness - there is nothing wrong with that. Can you imagine being seperated from your child - a piece of your heart and soul? Raman will never overcome the demons of his past until his relationship with Adi is fixed. I do not blame him for loving his child to desperation and continuing to fight for him despite Adi's hatred and anger. And yes, I agree - RKB and Ishita will be key in reforming Adi and giving him the nurturing environment he so desperately needs.

Adi:

Like I said in Gan's post Adi is only looking for love. I think after watching Ishita stand up for Ruhi, maybe something inside of him has triggered this desire for love. He is a broken kid. All he has seen around him is hate, revenge, fights. This kid hasnt seen a stable home at all. Shagun sent him away to boarding when he needed her the most. He hasnt experienced love and doesn't know what love is. Like I said Ruhi wasn't deprived of love like Adi was. She had her grandparents and aunts&uncles who loved her. Adi was deprived of know what love. Thats what he cant differentiate between Raman and Shagun's love for him. I think Ishu will be the one reform this kid and give him the love he is looking for.

You said it all. I have nothing to add. My heart is broken for this misguided child. I hope the CVs give us a RKB-Adi track in which their relationship is finally mended with the help of Ishita. Ishita made RKB a father to Ruhi...she will also return Adi to him. (The thought alone is giving me the warm fuzzies.😳)

I leave off this quote perfect for this dysfunctional family:

~"There is no such thing as a "broken family." Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you." ~C. Joybell C

Beautiful and perfect quote. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. It is greatly appreciated!

Originally posted by: -Payal-

Thank you for these beautiful lines. I dunno how many times I've read 'em.
PS: You should know that you now feature in the place where I write down all the brilliant wonderful things that I read such as this. I've transcribed more than a few of your lines and thoughts. 😳

THANK YOU!!!!!! 🤗 ❤️

Originally posted by: -Payal-

[Side Note: Doc is brilliant.]

Originally posted by: Eyes-Wide-Shut

❤️🤗 Okay seriously are you trying to kill me with unnecessary praise, is this your plan to steal MY puttar by killing me! On a serious a note, my writing is not worthy of you to save it, I am truly embarrassed and greatly humbled. It's a joy that someone appreciates these lines, it just makes it all the more fun to write them 😊