ArSh *Asli True Love* #3 new link pg 1 - Page 92

Originally posted by: Linsie

aww!!! thank you so much darling!!! your words mean a lot!

Hey caught with ur ff , its amazing n fab

Originally posted by: cuteshilpa

Hey caught with ur ff , its amazing n fab

Pleasee cont soon n do pm me :)

thanks a lot darling!!! i think you're already there in my pm list!

Originally posted by: kritika_24

PART 19

NIGHT SKY

Why would he listen to her when everything was clear? She had clearly betrayed him playing a game with his emotions and now she begged to be listened and given a chance? All his life he had been giving people chances and begging to be given chances... when life did not give him any chance, why would he? And that too, when everything was so clear. His mom had told him everything in so much detail that he refused to believe there could be any chance of a different side to the story..

Even after being sure that he was right, he couldn't pin point what exactly was that feeling that pricked through his heart and made him feel weak.. he had tried his best to maintain his composure on the terrace that night but everything had gone out of control. Even then, he didn't regret any of it..he was not willing to see her face again and that was the end. The end before the begining. He did not sit with her through the flight, despite her pleadings and did not talk to her even when he knew she was leaving for new york. Behind the anger, the hatred, the hurt, there was an unknown feeling that constantly warned him that if he let himself, he would lose once again.. a feeling that somehow tried to convince him that shilpa was just as innocent as he believed her to be.. a feeling that had made him tilt his head backwards to see her crying and scribbling something on a paper in his room.. he had shrugged off his shoulder even befor she could touch it, but couldn't stop the tears in his own eyes when he saw her crying in helplessness and writing away.. her tears had even wetted the paper.. but just as he realized she noticed him staring at her, he glanced away.. again out of the window.. he heard her footsteps and knew she had headed out of the room..but when he looked back, there was no paper on the table.. he wanted to know where had she kept the paper.. wanting to know whatever little she had to say.. but his anger overpowered and he convinced himself yet again that he didn't wanna know even if she had something to say. And yet, as they say in love you can control anything but your heart, he couldn't control himself or his tears as he saw her sitting in the cab and going away from him, forever. He didn't try to avert his gaze this time.. he didn't want to know anything. All he knew was that she was going away from him.. he was crying, she was crying and the world moved on.

He did not move away from the window even after she had left.. he somehow could still feel her staring at the blank road that had just taken his life away from him.

After the evening sun had set and he decided not to bother himself with all these feelings again, he finally moved away from the window sill he had been standing at for so long and moved over to his bed.. resting against the headboard, he closed his eyes resolving yet again, to let this end be an end now. How much ever incomplete or undone the end had been, it was an end and he'd want to burry the wasteful memories just as they were. "I don't give a damn" he murmured to himself, assuring once again that he didn't care.. why did he need so much assurances when he believed in his thoughts though, was something called love. Its love that makes you unsure of your anger and hatred and you want to make yourself belive that you don't care and you don't give a damn and a fcuk and what not, when deep down inside, you know you care the most.

Pretending to be happy in front of the world when you're not, is something that everyone goes through at some point or the other. But the difficult part is to pretend with yourself. His eyes fell on something he assumed to be a paper ball on the floor and in an instant he knew it was that paper that shilpa had been writing on.. he got up in a second to pick it up, but stopped. He didn't care, right? He hadn't listened to her when she had wnated to talk to him. Why would he read any stupid paper now.. he looked at the paper again, and took another step towards it.. but stopped again.. even logically, if she had to say something, or well write something.. she wouldn't have thrown the paper like this.. so it anyways meant there was nothing of importance on the paper.. he tried to walk past it in anger, but stopped again. If there was nothing of importance, there was no harm reading it, right? This was the final decision and before his mind could come up with anything else, his heart made him bend down and pick up the crumpled paper in his hand..

"I LOVE YOU ARMAAN MALLIK. AND I WILL ALWAYS DO, CAN'T HELP IT.

I FEEL SORRY THAT YOU CAN'T TRUST PEOPLE YOU CLAIM TO CARE ABOUT.

Best of luck...i still wish the best for you.

Shilpa malhotra"

He read the paper twice blinking through his blurred vision as his tears started to give away.. he sat on the corner of his bed with a thud, the paper clutched in his hands and tears spilling out of his eyes uncontrollably. he didn't know why was he crying now.. he still did not believe her words and he stil thought this love was a lie.. his anger hadn't subsided at all and his hurt was still the same.. as he read the paper again and again, he felt anger rushing through him.. all this was a lie.. she didn't love him.. not one bit.. and without giving any second thoughts to that, he tore the paper mercilessly and let the pieces fall on the floor..

All the tears that he had been hiding under the viel of his anger now broke the dam and rushed through his red eyes.. he didn't know when he slept crying, or even if he did sleep or not..

The next few days were dead for him.. the daylight and the moonlight did not make a difference to him.. .he worked all day and night, much more than he had ever worked in his life and the world seemed to cease existence for him.. He did not cry anymore.. in fact, he hardly showed any emotions..he never told her what was wrong.. he didn't tell her why hadn't shilpa met her before leaving or why did she not leave any contact number.. Bi had been utterly confused regarding his beahaviour.. he had never been like this.. nikita hadn't returned from her honeymoon and she couldn't even contact shlpa.. so one day, when he refused to have dinner yet again, she finally decided to have a word with him and get all the answers out now.. he refused to answer again.. But when she saw the dishelved stare of his room, she refused to budge.. she couldn't let this go on and see her child in so much pain.. armaan was still being polite, telling her to go out and that he would have dinner if he felt hungry.. but bi ignored all that he said and hugged him.. she hugged him tight and soothed his back, telling him that she was there for him.. telling that it was okay to let out his emotions.. her soothing words and frequent adoring kisses on his forehead forced the tears out of armaan's eyes and let himself lose.. he cried as much as he could and bi let him.. she knew how much he had been bearing all this while and that he was still a kid.. he needed someone by his side all throughout, but won't ever admit it... when finally his sobs subsided and bi asked him yet again what was it all about, he showed her a piece of paper.. it was actually a lot of torn pieces that were held together by tapes all over it.. she tried to read it and asked what it was..

"kehti hai pyar karti hai mujhse.." he stated emotionlessly..

"aur tu?" bi asked hopefully.. he obviously loved her back.. she had seen it all so clearly..

"usne jo kiya uske baad?" he looked at her accusingly.. declaring that after what she had done, there was not even a chance of love..

"kya kiya usne?" bi frowned at his stupid accusation..

"bi usne...vo jaanti thi ki mom dad meri shadi usse karwana chahte the.. in fact, shayad she was also included in all this.. aapko pta hai na mom hamesha peeche pade rehti thi mere to move on and live and blah.. and shilpa also played with me.. vo sab... bi.. mujhe lagta hai ki.." he fiddled with words but frowned when he saw Bi smiling.. here he had been living in hell from the past so many days, and after knowing it all, she was smiling! He felt anger rushing yet again, felt insulted.. "aap has rahe ho bi?" he yelled and stood up..

"Toh aur kya karu?"

"what do you mean? Kya kehna chahte ho aap?" he asked exasperated now..

Bi straightened her face now.. though she saw things a little differently than armaan, she did understand how big this was for him and how important it was for him to see things open eyed.

"armaan... pehle toh tujhe khud hi kuch nahi pata.. har cheez me 'shayad' bol raha hai.. aur apne 'shayad' ki wajah se us bachi ko door kar diya tune?" armaan glared back at her, pouting like a baby who wanted to protest but had no words..

"aur upar se... agar usne aisa kiya bhi, toh usme galat kya hai?"

"galat kya hai?" he asked shocked by how easy Bi sounded with it.. "bi isme galat kya nahi hai?"

Bi sighed, he was a tough baby to deal with.. "dekh armaan..pehle tu yahan shanti se baith, aur jo main poochu uska sach sach jawab dena.. hmm?" she asked softly and prodded him to sit..he obliged, but the frown never left his forehead..

"acha soch.. agar ananya tujhe seedha shilpa se milwati aur kehti ki vo teri shadi karwana chahti hai usse, tu maanta?" she stroked her hand softly through his hair and he looked into her eyes..

"haan?" she asked him, although knowing his answer.. she wanted him to understand things and not just agree with her for the sake of it..

"nahi.." he whispered in a small voice, staring at something distant on the floor

"kya?" she asked a little aloud, a glint of mischief in her eyes..

"nahi maanta.." he looked up at her and spoke aplogetically..

"aur ab... jab tujhe kuch pata nahi tha.. tu sirf mila us bachi se aur pyar ho gaya na?"

he looked at her, both of them knew what his answer was..only he won't admit it.. "ek toh aap use 'bachi' bulana band keejiye.." he tried to feign anger yet again.. but his mind went on a totally different track.. he had started to finally realize that there existed a possibility of being a new unrevealed side to the story..

"phir bhi.." he tried to give his accusations a chance, in no way was he going to be outright convinced that shilpa could have had a reason for whatever she did..

"phir bhi usne kaha ki usne aisa kuch nahi kiya? Haina?" Bi interrupted him and he nodded reluctantly..

"toh tune bharosa kiya?"

he shook his head...

"toh galti kiski hui?" she finally asked her last question and a lone tear fell on his hand..

"par bi.." he started, but fell short of words..

"main sirf chahti hoon ki tu shanti se in sab ke baare me soch armaan.. please jaldi kuch galat mat kar mere bache.." she said in an almost pleading tone now.. and kissing his forehead for the last time, she headed out of the room.. "aur main khana laga rahi hoon.. paanch minute me bahar table par aa jaa.."

he closed his eyes and fell on his back on the bed.. it all seemed like a whirlpool that showed him no way of going out.. he wanted to believe one thing, but his mind refused.. the conversation with his mom was still fresh in his mind, but his heart didn't agree to it.. he had no clue as to what to make out of things.. he couldn't bring himself to trust anything.. everything was a lie..

"armaan?" bi reappeared in the doorway as if she had forgotten to tell something..

"ji?" he looked up.. "vo kaagaz.. tune phaad diya tha?" she asked with much more naughtines.. "uh.. haanji..."

"tu gussa tha shilpa se?"

"uhm.. haan..kyun?"

"phir ye sab tape kab lgayi?" she tried to feign seriousness..

"yaad nahi.. parso..nahi.. usse ek raat pehle shayad.."

"kyun?"

"coz I love her.." armaan smiled. And the smile reached his eyes.

"kya?" bi pretended as if she hadn't heard it, prodding him to say the words louder..

A smile crept up his lips as he understood bi's mischief, and he sat down on the bed with a sigh..

"i don't know bi... aapka matlab ye sab itna aasan tha? i.. i mean.." he still couldn't understand what was going around.. okay, what bi said seemed right, but then, all his anger and naarazgi all this while.. it meant nothing at all?

"koi baat nahi ki usne aisa kiya?"

"mujhe nhi lagta uske paas koi aur raasta hoga.. aur armaan, sabse zaroori baat to pyar hai na.. usne tujhe pyar ka ehsaas karwaya, ab usne kya raasta chuna vo uski marzi!" she too came inside again and sat beside him..

"toh mujhe bura nahi lagna chahaiye?" he pouted again..

"tujhe bura toh lag hi nahi rha.. tu kab ka maaf kar chuka h usse.. sirf udaas hai kyunki miss kar rha hai shilpa ko.." Bi spoke as if it was the simplest thing of the world but he frowned.. "what rubbish! Maine koi maaf-vaaf nahi kiya tha.."

"ye kagaz kyun wapis tape kiya phir?" she smirked at him.. seeing that paper anyone could say how much he missed shilpa..

True, he had torn off that paper earlier but just a few days back, when once again he felt like doing nothing in life and wanted to be close to shilpa, to hold her in his arms and never let her go..his eyes fell on the crumpled bits of the sheet jo faad toh diya tha, but had never thrown away and he started taping it back hoping that seeing her handwriting would make him miss her less.. reading 'i love you' from her would make things better.. but forgiving or not was not in his mind at all.. he didn't think about it.. a few days after she had left, he had in fact stopped thinking about anything.. the more he thought, the more depressed it would make him.. he had stopped demanding answers from life and from himself.. all he knew was that he missed her and he wanted her near..

"teri khamoshi hi tera jawab hai!" bi got up from the bed in a concluding tone, breaking his reverie and ending the discussion..

"par bi.." he called out.. "ab kya karu?"

"tujhe kya lagta hai? Kya karna chahiye?"

Armaan did not answer for a moment but kept looking at her, and then asked.. "aapko poora yakeen hai ki usne mere gusse aur mere behavior ki wajah se aisa raasta chuna and had no ill intentions?"

"nahi armaan.. mujhe bilkul nahi pata ki usne aisa kyun kiya.. balki mujhe toh tune hi abhi bataya na ki itna sab kuch ho chuka hai.." she went out towards the dining room and starting laying out a plate for him.. he followed and quitely sat on a chair..

"lekin.. tujhe bhi kabhi pata nahi chalega jab tak tu usse milega nhi.. baat nahi karega.. poochega nahi ki aakhir usne tujhse kyun chupaya.." she served him and he blankly stared at her..

"tu amerika jaane waala tha na? Shilpa ke sheher me?" armaan had told her that a long time back, around the time when shilpa was here that he had been offered a job in new york and he was considering to move there.. he had wanted BI too to come with him but she had wanted to go back to kasauli.. they had ultimately decided that armaan would leave Bi at kasauli once everything was finalized but then he had never discussed anything about it later..

"haan vo.. mana kar diya tha maine unhe jab ye sab hua.. i mean.. gusse me tha main.. uske aas paas nahi jaana chahta tha kahin.."

"aur ab?" she sat on a chair beside him and put her hand under her chin, curioulsy looking at him.. he smiled.. "phone karta hoon unhe dobara!" and began to eat his food.. first time in so many months Bi watched her son eat in peace..

"saare kapde nahi le jaa rha?" Bi entered the room with his cup of coffee while he was packing his suitcase for new york, he was to leave in a few hours and was doing some last minute packing..

"nahi actually... abhi do mahine ke liye jaa raha hoon.. phir wapis aakar yahan final resignation dena hoga.. kuch das dino ke liye aaunga.. tab saara samaan le lunga.. abhi wahan jaakar rehne ka intezaam bhi karna padega.. zada samaan hoga toh problem hogi.."

It had been two weeks since his confrontation with Bi and right after that, he had started making preperations to go to new york and make things better.. destiny too seemed to be on his side, the hospital at new york had made no questions or objections at his sudden decision and were in fact glad to have him.. only a little final formalties required him to return here to chandigarh after two months but that too was only for a week or ten days and he was optimistic about making things better in these two months.. finding shilpa's contact number and address were the first concerns he had and nikita seemed the best person to know about it all.. but she hadn't picked up his phone.. just like he hadn't picked up her phone when she had tried to call him earlier.. par tab vo gusse me tha! He had cut a hundred calls from her and now he knew she would do the same.. so without wasting time, he had got his tickets for new york, hoping that he would find shilpa on his own once he reached there.. he would sometimes juts smile feeling how silly he was being, going to a new country wthout any idea of where he could find her and yet he felt so excited, now that his mind had come to the right track , he knew God will be on his side too..

"Ananya se baat ki tune?" In all these months when armaan had boycotted the world and became a saint in his room, he hadn't talked to his parents once but now that everything was changing for better, Bi hoped he would talk to his parents too.. but that question only gave him more ideas! If nikita won't talk to him, he could always ask his parents for shilpa's details! After all it was them who had planned it all in the first place.. they would definitely know her address or phone number.. or at least her dad's.

Smiling proudly at his super fast working brain, he packed his suitcase, looked around for the final time.. checking that he had taken everything important with him, turned to bi and hugged her tight.. "i love youuu" he sang and kissed her cheek..

"you're the best!!!" he made his hold even tighter around her and sighed..

"best toh main hoon!" she patted his cheek and blessed him.. "khayal rakhna apna aur jaise hi shilpa se mille meri phone par baat karwana.. hmm?"

"ji.." he nodded and gestured her that it was time.. giving her the details of teh taxi that he had booked for her to take her to kasauli and wishing her for the last time, he finally left for the airport.. to get to his life.

He was settled on the waiting area of the airport with his phone in his hand and a pen and a paper on his lap. Okay, so he would call up his mom, ask her shilpa's address and new york phone number and cut the call. No, that might be too rude, he can ask her a li'l 'how are you' before proceeding. But what if she's so angry with his behaviour that she denies to give any information? Uhm.. be sweet then. Yes, being sweet with mothers always works in one's favour.

"hi mumma!" he cheered as soon as ananya picked up the call. His mother beacme surprised for a moment and checked the caller once again, it did say 'armaan' but.. uhm.. mumma? Armaan never called her mumma! Not even in his happiest times, and now toh he was in an angry young man mode from such a long time..

"armaan?" she asked a little surprised..

"how are you mom? And how's dad? Uh actually i have a flight to catch abhi so i am running out of time but can you just give me shilpa's address and phone number? Or her dad's?" he tried to sound casual so his mom wouldn't pry about things but his behaviour only made her more confused and she couldn't help but fumble "armaan.. beta tum.. uh.. i mean.."

"mom meri flight ki boarding start ho gyi hai please jaldi de do na.." he interrupted her, glancing at where his boarding would start half an hour later.. he knew ananya wanted to ask a lot of things, but he juts wasn't in a state to answer anything right now.. he was too curious to find the answers himself..

"uh haan.. haan wait i had written it down somewhere lemme get it.." she hurried and made him note a phone number and an address but informed him that both belonged to shilpa's dad and that she had no information about shilpa.. he for once felt like shilpa too had told him that she did not live with her father or something like that but he couldn't remember or be sure of it.. so he juts noted down everything his mom told and disconnected ASAP. Sighing, he looked at the paper in his hand and smiled.. what would it be like to see her after so many months? He wanted answers from her, sure, but first he wanted to hug her tight. She too would want the same. Or probably not, she would first scold him for being such an idot but then jump into his arms.. he looked out the french windows towards the sky.. it was night time and things were dark, but don't they say, its only in the darkness that you can see the stars? He too saw stars shining brightly in the night sky. He had brought the night himself, shutting her out of it.. but now he would himself make it glow.. and then the day was sure to come. In the night sky, the stars glow and when they fade, the sun comes up.