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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 11 years ago

#231

Originally posted by: aparnauma

You mean to say that they should go and confront on the basis of a mere suspicion?

Yes, because not all crimes are committed in full view of everyone for there to be clear evidence and proof. And at times, it is not possible to wait until some other incident happens to confirm suspicion because it may be life threatening or lethal. It may also not be possible to install CCTV cameras everywhere to gather footage.

The principle of confronting without evidence is called "probable cause"

If a child comes to school looking woozy or the teacher sees he has bruises over his body when he is changing clothes in the gym, the teacher has an obligation to report this to the management and the police. The police and teachers can most definitely interrogate the parents on suspicion of child abuse without having evidence of seeing them beat the child.

Dadibua has strong probable cause and motivation to destroy gullis food which none of the other house residents do. What is wrong in confronting her?

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Picasso9

@Picasso9

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#232

Originally posted by: aparnauma

.Anandi doesn't let this lady affect her life.She taught Amol how to handle this lady.

Neither Shiv nor Anandi will take it if they find her being nasty to Amol.

Amol is not scared of this lady anymore. Infact he started telling her what he thinks about her thoughts and ideas and he doesn't let her spoil things for him.

He does it all without being rude to her and he does it very charmingly.

This is the same little boy who was terrified of this lady and hesitated to go anywhere near her and too scared to complain about her to his parents too.

Now he goes upto her and tries to reach out to her without any fear.

Gulli has only just entered the house and she is just seeing for herself how things are I thinkw should wait and see how Gulli and Anandi handle this lady.

The point is not how Amol handles DB. He is just a child. The issue is how Anandi handles DB and influences Gulli to do same. Anandi need not even confront DB about the food. All she needed to do was be transparent with the rest of the family that someone trashed Gulli's multi course meal hence the provision of sandwiches.

I agree with Tinoo, probable cause and motive is enough as well to confront.

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441597

Suspended

Posted: 11 years ago

#233

Originally posted by: aparnauma

You mean to say that they should go and confront on the basis of a mere suspicion?

Was there any scope of "suspicion"?

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Picasso9

@Picasso9

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#234

Originally posted by: krystal_watz

Was there any scope of "suspicion"?

🤣 good one. 😆

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koolsadhu1000

@koolsadhu1000

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#235

yeah , watz wrong in asking the nasty old crone a few questions . She doesn't hesitate while asking others questions . Whats the big deal .😈 Why should others walk on eggshells to ask her anything and why the hell should a kid be trained in dealing with her and nothing should be said to the evil doer instead . Kids must be trained to deal with nastiness but nastiness personified must be worshipped 😕 Perplexing .

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 11 years ago

#236

Personally, I don't think that there is any correlation between anandi's training and amol's new persona.

He was insecure at being adopted and did not complain to his parents because he saw himself as an outsider in the house and did not want to create a situation where there would be a rift in the house...after a while, knowing that he has the support of his parents, he became more confident and bold in his tactics and openly sasses the obnoxious lady. He now knows his parents wont drop him off at the orphanage if he hits back at her. This has nothing to do with anandi's "training"

I also feel that dadibua has currently backed off from harassing amol because she has other fish to fry - after that there was the rasika matter and the gulli matter and also the Jaitser ordeal -- not because Anandi's training or amols handling have impressed her.

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aparnauma

@GoodDoc_2105

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#237

Originally posted by: Picasso9

The point is not how Amol handles DB. He is just a child. The issue is how Anandi handles DB and influences Gulli to do same. Anandi need not even confront DB about the food. All she needed to do was be transparent with the rest of the family that someone trashed Gulli's multi course meal hence the provision of sandwiches.

I agree with Tinoo, probable cause and motive is enough as well to confront.

The point here is Anandi can't be there all the time for Amol.Today it is at home tomorrow may be at school and later it may be some where else.Mother's duty is not just about fighting his battles but making him strong enough to fight his own battles.

Anandi did that with him.Both Anandi Shiv told him how to handle DB.

He now knows that if she tries something nasty like feeding him mirchies and locking him up he should let his parents know that.

DB herself will not try anything nasty because she knows that Anandi will scream at her.

She has grudgingly accepted the fact that she can't do or say anything about him.At the most she will grumble about him and his mother to herself .

Amol's changed behaviour towards DB did not come about on it's own it came with Anandi Shiv's help.

They taught him to be strong and fight back without being rude or disrespectful and more importantly stop being scared of her.

And all this did not happen overnight.

Same way Gulli's being made strong enough to handle this DB is more important than handling DB.

As long as there are people who are scared of them people like DB will continue with their acts.

The most important thing is do not give them chance to scare you and let them them know that her acts affect them. This is what obviously DB wants.She is a bully and gets pleasure out of taking her frustration on people who are scared of her.

Changing DB is not Anandi's job Making sure that Amol Gulli know how to handle her with out being rude and nasty towards DB,by giving it to her in a polite way that what she does to hurt them will not make any difference to them and they will not let all this matter to them is what Anandi's job

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koolsadhu1000

@koolsadhu1000

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#238

Respectful to whom . The malicious persona who destroys kids ice creams ? Exactly to what degree must the kid be 'respectful' , till she poisons his food or tampers with his wheel chair locks ? And the parents will look the other way and teach him to be as respectful as they r , valuable lesson of life , be an ostrich , bury ur head in the sand like us as the evil doer is advanced in age instead of complaining about him vocally in front of all ? What kind of parents r these who allow the mal treatment of a handicapped child just coz the abuser is a rishtedaar ?

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aparnauma

@GoodDoc_2105

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#239

The parents made it very clear that they don't tolerate this kind of behaviour with their kid.

She knows that if she does something like this again she will be kicked out of the house.

She wants to stay on in the house.She knows very well if something bad happens to the kid the needle of suspicion will be pointed towards her.

Thye may not say anything destroying floral decorations or will keep quiet if she destroys the lunch but if they suspect her of causing harm to Amol in someway they are not going to keep quiet and she knows that very well.

They can't change her ways bit they are definitely taking care of their kind and teaching him to take care of himself.

Respectful doesn't mean taking crap - It means being polite not answering back in a rude manner at the same time telling her what they think of her and Amol is doing that now. .Anandi Shiv have been doing that and they taught Amol too. Amol knows what to do when she tried nasty next time he has to yell out,

Obviously kids can't fight adults - He was too scared to tell just like any kid who goes through this kind of violence but Anandi and Shiv made it clear to him that he has to tell them if he encountered this behaviour.That's what parents should do encourage children to come upto them with their problems.

It may be DB at home tomorrow it may be some teacher at school and it may be someone else somewhere. Who ever it may be they have to be handled in the same way. Kid should be taught to come and tell this to parents immediately.

The fact is relatives like DB do exist children do come to harm at home also from relatives and things go on for years.

This can only be prevented if the child is made known that he should not tolerate this behaviour and he shouldn't be scared to inform parents about this kind of things. As good parenst they have done that an that is the reason why they lady doesn't abuse Amol now.

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 11 years ago

#240

Originally posted by: aparnauma

Both Anandi Shiv told him how to handle DB.

He now knows that if she tries something nasty like feeding him mirchies and locking him up he should let his parents know that.

DB herself will not try anything nasty because she knows that Anandi will scream at her.

She has grudgingly accepted the fact that she can't do or say anything about him.At the most she will grumble about him and his mother to herself .

Amol's

Aparna,

I think you are contradicting your own argument here ... the part in red... what this means is that Dadibua will not try anything BECAUSE ANANDI DID CONFRONT HER. If she had buried her head in the sand like an ostrich when she saw dadibua stuffing chillies into his mouth, and run back to the kitchen to make adrak wali chai for dadibua instead of screaming at her and making a big scene in front of the family ... then dadibua would still be stuffing chillies in his mouth, or secretly sawing off the wheels of his wheel chair hoping he would have a fall.

So your strategy of being charming and polite did not work. Anandi did have to confront her.

Is screaming not a form of confrontation?

I also feel that confrontation need not be a rude or impolite activity. It can just be firm - "look here, no more nonsense"

So why not continue screaming at dadibua for the gulli thrown away food case or other cases instead of trying to appease her?

Edited by tinoo - 11 years ago