An IshRa SS - Winning Her Back - ON HOLD - Author's Note: Pg 56

Raman was sitting in his office, his mind constantly replaying Ishita's words - "Baat chupayi ja rahi hai tho bharosa kaisa" - "Rishwas paya jaata hai... maanga nahin jaata hai". Her words left him unsettled. The more he tried to forget the hurt in her eyes the more her face kept flashing in front of him. He needed to do something, anything, to bring back the glitter in her eyes, the glow on her face. He needed to bring back the woman that he had come to love, his Ishu. His one wrong decision had stolen the beautiful smile from her face. While trying to fulfil his son's wishes he had greatly wronged his wife.

"Meri biwi." As those two words echoed in the silence of the room, Raman felt a miniscule smile involuntarily gracing his face; he had finally acknowledged her position in his life for what it was. She was no longer just Ruhi's mother. She was his better half, his soul mate, his best friend, someone he would share every detail of the rest of his life with. At that last thought his initial surge of euphoria was quickly followed by guilt.

In the past few days Raman had hurt his wife immensely, by keeping secrets from her, by avoiding her and by lying to her. He had gone as far as seeking permission from another woman to tell his own wife something that she had every right to know. As he recalled the phone call with Shagun he realised he didn't need anyone's permission to share something as crucial as this with his wife. With a newfound hope of setting everything straight, Raman rushed out of the office, leaving behind a curious staff, none of whom had ever seen their boss so flustered.

On reaching his room he found his wife standing near the open window, silently watching the rain fall, as if the answer to her every pain was hidden in those very drops. He slowly walked towards her, scared of what he might see on her face. Putting his hand on her arm he turned her around to face him.

"Ish- "

Her glistening eyes and the tears running down her face stopped him from continuing. So shocked was he that he forgot what he was about to say. She just stared into his eyes, while he could not take his eyes off of hers. Every tear drop adding to his guilt.

"Ishita, tumne sahi kaha tha, rishwas paya jaata hai, maanga nahin, iss liye ab mein tumhara rishwas pane mein apni puri zindagi laga duga, tum se kabhi kuch nahin chupaooga, aur uss ki shuruwat mein abhi se karoonga."

"Raman, aap jo pana chahte hai wo ab mere paas dene ke liye hai hi nahin, mujhe apne aap se zyaada aap par bharosa hone laga tha, maine sach mein apne pati ko parmeshwar maan liya tha, lekin aap ne ek pal me mera wo bhram thod diya. Ab na kuch jod ne ke liye bacha hai, aur na hi pane ke liye!"

A broken Ishita manoeuvred herself around him as she attempted to walk away, only to be stopped by a firm grip on her hand. She turned to find Raman looking at her with pleading eyes.

"Ishita, mujhe bolne ka mauka do, mein tumhe sab kuch pehle hi batana chahta tha, lekin mein nahin bata saka, tum meri baat sune bina kahin mat jao."

He waited for her to respond, but she just continued looking at him, waiting to hear what could possibly justify him breaking her trust. He understood that she was willing to listen, so he pulled her towards their bed and made her sit. He himself fell on his knees in front of her, while still holding her hand.

"Ishita, mein Shagun ke saat kal pura din sirf iss liye tha kyun ki mujhe Adi ke liye uss ki Maa ko jail jaane se rokna tha. Haan, Ishita. Shagun ne... uss ne.. woh hi Amma ke accident ki zimedaar hai!"

Hearing this Ishita looked up at him, shock written all over her face, but he was unable to look her in the eyes and continue, so he looked at their joined hands, hoping that after all that he's done nothing would be able to separate them. His grip on her hand tightened.

"Ishita, Shagun ne Amma ka accident kiya tha, gadi chalate waqt uss ka BP low ho gaya tha, aur uss ne...lekin mujhe jab ye baat pata chali, uss waqt Adi bhi wahan tha, uss ki roti hui aankhein mujhse uss ki Maa ki azaadi maang rahi thi. Maine aur Shagun ne pehle hi uss ke saat bohut galat kiya hai, hamare divorce ne uss se uska bachpan cheen kar usse umar se pehle bada hone par majboor kar diya. Aur ab uss se uss ki Maa cheen kar mein aur galat nahin karna chahta tha. Please mujhe samjho Ishu, tumhe tho har kisi ka dard nazar aata hai na, tho phir tum hi batao ke mein apne bete ko itna bada dard kaise de sakta tha?!"

Raman looked up at Ishita to see her now dry eyes looking straight into his. The silence stretched between them as he waited to hear her response. Ishita looked away from him in an attempt to gather her thoughts; taking a few calming breaths she finally managed to meet his gaze again as she spoke.

"Raman, aap ne jo kiya apne bete ke liye kiya, lekin mein bhi kisi ki beti hoon! Aap ne apne bache ki maa ko bachana chaha, lekin meri Maa... unn ka kya? Kya woh insaaf ki hakdaar nahin hain Raman? Mein Amma ke accident ka case wapas le lungi, lekin uss se pehle Shagun ko Adi, aap ke, mere, aur humare pure parivaar ke samne meri Amma se haath jod kar maafi mangni hogi!"

"Tum case wapas le logi? Sach me? Aur Shagun ki maafi ki tum fikar na karo, wo mein uss se mangwa luga! Mein bas iss baat se khush hoon ke tum ne mujhe maaf kar diya"

Raman was so overcome with joy at being so easily forgiven that his arms circled her as he pulled her closer and wrapped her in a tight hug. But Ishita was quick to burst his bubble. She moved out of his hold and stood. Picking up a blanket from the bed she moved towards the door.

"Jee nahin Mr Raman Kumar Bhalla, maine aap ko maaf nahin kiya. Aap ne itni badi baat mujhse chupayi. Akele hi MERI Amma ke saat kiye gaye haadse ke faisle liye jaa rahe the. Aap hote kaun hain inn sab ka faisla lene wale? Jiss ke saat wo accident hua tha wo MERI Amma thi, aur Shagun ko maafi dena ya na dena bhi woh hi decide karegi. Rahi baat aap ki maafi ki, tho wo mein aap ko iss waqt nahin de sakti."

"Ishita wo meri bhi Amma- "

"Nahin Raman, agar aap ne unhe sach mein apni maa maana hota tho kam se kam unhe batate, Shagun ko unke saamne la kar uss se maafi mangwate. Lekin nahin, aap ke liye MERI Amma se zyaada zaroori aap ke bete ki Maa hai."

"Ish- "

"Bas kijiye Raman, mujhe jo sun na tha wo maine sun liya. Ab iss ke aage aur kuch sun ne ki himmat nahin hai mujh mein, mein Ruhi ke paas sone jaa rahi hoon, waise bhi hamare contract mein likha tha ke mein sirf Ruhi ki Maa hoon, tho phir mein iss kamre mein aap ke saath kis haq se rahu?! Good night."

Ishita shut the door on her way out, leaving behind a devastated man. Raman fell to the floor, tears streaming down his face, her indifference to their marriage stinging his heart.

It had been 2 hours since Ishita left their room; Raman was still sitting on the floor recalling her every word, every expression. Enough was enough. Raman wiped his tears as his inner voice made an appearance.

"Nahin Raman, tu itni aasani se haar nahin maan sakta, tu yahan aaya tha apni biwi ka rishwaas paane, aur woh tho tujhe jeetna hi padega. Kal ka suraj apne saat ek nayi subah leke aayega, aur tere aur Ishita ke rishte ki bhi ek nayi subah hoye gi."

"But tab tak mein iss sunsaan kamre mein akele kaise soyunga? Mujhe Ishita ki aadat ho gayi hain. Subah subah uth kar sabse pehle usse hi dekhta hoon."

"Toh kal subah bhi tu usse hi dekhna, aise kar chodon ki tarah apni beti ke kamre mein jaa, aur apna keemti samaan utha kar le aa!"

"Woh keemti samaan kitna bhaadi hai tumhe pata hai na, aur waise bhi Jhansi Ki Rani agar uth gayi tho kal ki subah mujhe dekhne ko naseeb bhi nahin hogi."

"Haan, yeh bhi sahi hai, thu aisa kar, chup chaap jaake Ruhi ke kamre mein hi so jaa."

"Yeh, teekh rahega, aur uss ke uthne se pehle hi mein uth jaooga."

With this thought Raman stealthily snuck into Ruhi's room. Ishita was sleeping on her back, with Ruhi lying atop her. Seeing his precious daughter wrapped around his beautiful wife brought a smile on his face

"Raman beta, itni pyaari biwi ko hurt kar diya tune, ab isse manane ke liye bhi kuch bohut bada karna padega!"

Raman slid into bed besides Ishita; resting his head on the palm of his hand he stared at her sleeping peacefully, all traces of pain and hurt now gone from her face and posture. His gaze stayed fixed to his wife, not even realising when his own eyes shut as sleep took over his body.